clarkeht:
What will you do when they catch you? What will you do if they break you? If you continue to fight, what will you become?
Color Me Curious
Sade Olutola
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oozey mess
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shark vs the universe
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
sheepfilms
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izzy's playlists!
YOU ARE THE REASON
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
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almost home
Cosmic Funnies
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@heartsfelicity-blog
clarkeht:
What will you do when they catch you? What will you do if they break you? If you continue to fight, what will you become?
Ex Animo | James&Felicity
masterjameshartwell:
James was about to leave a club downtown, with a random socialite he had picked up using only half his capacity of wit and charm, when he got the phone call. It was from a random number and he briefly considered not answering when he realized that was not the type of person he was. Curiosity got the better of him, and he stepped away from his would be conquest to take it in private.
The conversation was brief, and he was told that Matt was wasted at some cabaret club downtown that served alcohol and half-naked women to high-profile clients. He knew the club well and had been enough times for the people who worked there to know just how important he was. Or rather, his family. His name. Hartwell could get you into nearly any club, restaurant or hotel - no matter how exclusive. People knew that the Hartwells had money and power.
So after hanging up, and vaguely gesturing to the woman he was about to take back to his apartment that he had to go, he jumped into his vehicle and sped off to the other side of town. She said she would be waiting out the front, standing in a red trench coat waiting for him to help him get inside. Which made him laugh, but he didnât correct her, because he had been let inside many times before without hesitation.
He parked near the alley close to the back of the club, and making sure he had his cigarettes before exiting his vehicle. Slamming his car door because he was slightly pissed off he couldnât get his end away this Saturday night, he buttoned the jacket of his perfectly tailored suit. It was easy to spot the girl in the red trench coat with blonde hair, despite the amount of people that littered the pavement outside the Moulin Rouge themed club. Â He walked up to her, studying her demeanor as she stood with her shoulders pulled forward and eyes glancing at her surroundings with simultaneous curiosity and disdain. He came to stand in front of her, towering over her short figure, even in her heels. He noticed the odd gaze on his figure from the random high-clientele that littered the entrance.
So this was her.
She stumbled over her words slightly, and he watched as it seemed his mere presence made it hard for her to swallow. He knew he was a rather intimidating man; smart, stoic and completely self-assured in his almost limitless capabilities. However, still, some reactions he received pleasantly surprised him. He nodded and gestured to the entrance, âAfter you then, Felicity.â
They cut the line with no problem, and walked up to the big, burly man who did security at the front door. James recognized the man from the other times he had been there, and as he neared the doors opened without a hitch. His senses were assaulted, loud music, people conversing, and flashing colorful lights and the smell of cigars and alcohol. The large club was completely decked out in 1920âs style decor, half naked women danced, served drinks and talked to the men sitting in different seating areas. He wondered what exactly it was she did here, and why on earth she was helping his brother.
He turned to look down at Felicity, âThe back room?â His eyebrow raised slightly, ready for her to continue to lead the way.
âFollow me.â, she yelled over the deafening sounds of music and found the attempt utterly futile, because her voice, never particularly loud in the first place, got engulfed in the noise. She had to settle for an alternative then, and so she looked up to him and nodded, as if to gesture that he follow her, and started in the general direction of the back room. The club wasnât crowded, not at all, every client in his own separe, in his own little corner of paradise - but at that moment, Feli wished it was. There was a sense of anonymity that the crowd offered, Fitzgerald was right to claim that, and now Feli had to move across the entire length of the club with her head bent low, hoping that no one would recognise and call her over.Â
But nothing came. No one called her name, and no one paid attention, and somehow it seemed to her that she had the man walking beside her to thank for that. Whatever it was, whoever he was - it had an effect on people, something more than the confidence he exuded, and Feli wondered what it was a second before she reminded herself that this was probably a nuisance for him, and that she should keep her mouth shut, and get it over with quickly. After all, that kind of fit her job description here. âIâm sorry I called you like that...â, she spoke once they entered a hall and heavy door closed behind them, her voice slightly raised because the silence here was stark in contrast to the loud music out there. A slight shade of pink tainted her cheeks at that mishap and she had to clear her throat before continuing, âShaun gave me the number, just in case, but he never told me who was on the other end. Uh... I tried calling him, but his phone is turned off and Matt...â, she exhaled lightly, âIâm sorry I ruined your night.â Obviously, judging by the manâs attire, he had probably been having a good time before this whole thing went down, and Feli couldnât help the guilt simmering at the back of her mind.Â
She gestured towards the second door to the left, which opened to reveal a sort of common room, full of mirrors and make-up tables and all sorts of colours in form of silk and lace and satin. Wherever one turned around here, a female presence was revealed to him - well, everywhere save for the small corner at the back, that had its own little lamp to light piles upon piles of scattered papers and colourful notes and drawings depicting the human body, and one monstrous book that, Feli knew well, read âInternal Medicineâ at its front. âForgive the mess.â, she said vaguely, and decided not to dwell on that too much because she knew the man didnât care, and sheâd just get embarrassed by the mess she left behind in her frenzied study session. Instead, she focused her attention to Matt, who sat limp on sofa there, head lulled to the side, and expression blank and painless - that was something at least, considering he had a pretty nasty cut across his cheekbone which still bled a little (Feli stopped the bleeding before) and had skin around it slowly turning a fine shade of blue. âIt wasnât his fault. Iâm not sure what happened, but they told me some random guy punched him - they werenât even talking before that. Itâs just that he uh... he was pretty out of it before all that, so the punch kind of finished him off. I know it wasnât his fault. No matter how drunk, Mr. Hartwell is never aggressive, not to any other client and especially not to us girls.â
Feli moved across the room as she spoke, in the process taking off the blonde wig to let curls of her brown hair scatter across he shoulders. She didnât bother taking off the trench coat, however, no matter how warm it was inside - she hadnât had the time to change from her work clothes, and certainly did not want to be seen that way. âHeâs responsive, donât worry, itâs not a concussion, just a nasty cut and way too much alcohol. Heâll wake up when the system clears up a bit.â, lowering herself next to Matt on the sofa, she gently raised his chin and touched the cut with tips of her fingers, lightly and with all the compassionate care of a doctor in training. Across her features there appeared a small frown, as if she could feel the pain Matt couldnât due to excessive amounts of alcohol in his system. Her eyes moved to the man then, first time since they came in, and she looked rather solemn,âLook I know how this looks... with where I work and all. And I know I donât seem capable.â, she looked down for a second, as if looking for the courage to continue, âBut I promise you, I have medical training, and I know what Iâm doing. I can patch him up now, and you can take him home. Thatâs how Shaun usually handles things. But if you donât want that, you can take him right away too, and go to the hospital with him. Itâs just that, knowing how the system works, theyâre going to ask questions. A lot of them. So... what do you say?â
Favorite childhood memory?
Just about any time my mom took me to the hospital with her... I got to walk around with her and attend to patients and watch all the fascinating things happen all around me. And I was with my mom, I guess I loved that most of all.Â
What's your biggest secret? What are you hiding?
What am I not hiding... At this point... Iâm not sure where the truth ends and secrets begin.Â
I donât want people to know who my father was, or the things he did to me, or how I acquired this particular set of skills. I donât want them to know that I flinch at violence, or that electricity makes my lungs shrink so I feel like I canât breathe... that could jeopardize everything I have built here, it could potentially make me lose my family. What is the use of a broken soldier?Â
I donât want my friends to know what I did to pay the bills when I was 19, I donât want them to see me that way because once they do... people have a tendency of judging.Â
And most of all I donât want anyone to know about him. Even if by some miracle, they didnât make me leave the gang because of my flaws - they would most likely put a bullet in my head for this. I loved a Diamond, I almost married him, and I still canât say with certainty that I wouldnât risk everything to keep him alive, if it ever came to that. Itâs just a matter of time before he finds me, and Iâm afraid to think what happens then.
Do you have a fatal flaw? If so, what is it?
We all do...Â
I think itâs my fear. Or, more accurately, fears. They permeate every aspect of my life - my friendships, my work... Iâm afraid that one day it might cost me my job. I canât afford a panic attack in the middle of a mission.Â
Another thing is... I care a lot. Hurt me, donât hurt me - it doesnât matter, I will still stupidly, blindly care for you. And I donât think thatâs a fatal flaw, but others might... especially in a world weâre living in.Â
Cake or ice cream?
Cake?
This is why I donât eat this stuff, I just make it for others.Â
daisyriidleyy:
Iâm very independent, creatively, always trying to push myself - and I think that comes from my mother.
Ex Animo | James&Felicity
She stood, strange and silent and still, amongst the moving masses of people, drunk and high on both chemicals and feelings alike, chatting loudly, or laughing out of tune with each other - girls in short dresses and men in expensive jackets, both wrapped in sin, limbs entangled and faces blurring under the neon lights that lit the street in front of the club. In her red trench coat, that she pulled close to herself in some desperate attempt to preserve warmth in the cool night air, and the platinum blond, bob-cut wig that she was wearing because she would get yelled at if her boss saw her without it - Feli looked almost like she could fit in. Yet it was her shoulders, that were pulled forward as if to minimise the space she was taking up, and the way her head was inclined slightly down, hair creating a curtain that shielded her face, her small body shivering, that were all a telltale sign of just how out of place the girl was.Â
She had called the man about half an hour ago - it was a brief, vague conversation exchanged in an urgent manner between two strangers and so she didnât think much of it except that the man had a pleasant, deep voice. She had no idea whom she had called, the only thing Shaun had told her was that whoever he was, heâd take care of Matt in case Shaun was otherwise disposed. The man promised heâd come, and she told him sheâd be waiting outside - a girl with blond hair and in a red trench coat, to get him inside the club without anyone asking any questions. The club prided itself on its exclusivity and its high-profile guests - it offered to the decadent creme de la creme of New York the ultimate experience of the past - a Moulin Rouge of NYC. Feli was of the opinion that men that frequented it were as uncouth and abusive as any other when you gave them alcohol and half-naked women. There was nothing refined about the whole affair.
She didnât think much of the car that ground to a halt by the curb, she hardly even acknowledged its presence and the sound of doors opening and closing - her eyes trained on the rain-slicked tarmac, where bright neon colours reflected in a form of ever shifting, nameless curves. In her mind she was going through the chapter she had last read before one of the girls came to tell her something was going on with Matthew Hartwell, again. It was only when she heard the approaching steps, the way figure moved in her direction, rather than swiveling around her as if she were nothing but an inanimate object in the way, that she looked up timidly. Matthew was impressive, alright, and so was Shaun - but they both looked normal, they laughed and they drank and they were nice to her because they were the only ones to notice just how uncomfortable she was in that environment - the man before her looked... imposing. Yes, that was the correct word, and it left Feli a mess of rapid blinking and hands gripping the runny layers of her coat and words stuck in her throat - though, in all fairness, it wasnât that hard to push Feli out of her volatile calmness. All one had to do was be impressive - whether it be taller than her (which it seemed like everyone was), or self-assured, or calm and collected - or all of the above, in his case. âYouâre James, right?â, she managed after a few awkward moments, her eyes refusing to remain on his face as they skidded to the crowd around them who seemed to be paying more attention now that he was here, âI.. uh, Iâm Felicity. I called...â Yes, you idiot, he knows you called. She mentally reprimanded herself, before swallowing hard on what seemed to be like shards of glass in her throat and attempting a coherent sentence, âHeâs inside, at the back room. Heâs out, as it seems, I mean unless he woke up in the mean time but... Itâs the alcohol, donât worry, I checked his pupils, heâs responsive... â, stopping her rapid explanation, since she would explain it to him once they were inside where it wasnât so damn cold, she decided it was best to opt for the shortest report, âYouâll see. Will you just follow me, I told the bouncer what the situation was and... and it should be fine.â For some strange reason, however, once they were finally headed for the entrance, going around the long line of people, all already riled up, nobody even blinked an eye at the fact they were very plainly cutting the line - even the bouncer, a stereotypically big fella with a shaved head and a collection of menacing tattoos (he was actually quite nice), wasnât paying much heed to her anymore, but rather to the man towering beside her. She didnât have much time to question it, because the very next moment the doors were opened, and a wave of loud music and dimmed purple and red lights and heavy air of perfume, alcohol and sin flooded all her senses.Â
@masterjameshartwell
Who is your current crush?
Thatâs... I donât have a crush. You make it sound like Iâm supposed to have new crush every week. Is that how this is supposed to work?Â
Okay sorry, sorry. No I donât have a âcurrentâ crush. I have an awful taste when it comes to people I have a crush on, so itâs better this way.Â
Who's your greatest inspiration?
My mom. I know how cliche it is, and I know that perhaps after all these years I might be looking up to an idealised picture of her - but she is what got me through my darkest periods, and she is what made me who I am.Â
Everything I did, my education, the choices Iâve made, the choices I am still making between good and evil - itâs not just for me, itâs for her too. She wouldâve wanted that. I just wish she could see all that... that she could see the strength and inspiration she gave to me throughout my life.
Though I donât know how she wouldâve felt about my... gang affiliations.Â
She wasnât bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.
Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
samuelclaflins:
Felicity Jones photographed by Ruven Afanado for âC Magazineâ (2015)
The party had come at a perfect time; amidst the chaos and tragedy, they all needed a reason to get out of their own heads. Plus, any excuse to drag Carl out of the house in some embarrassing attire was one Ashley would never miss. To round out the silly fun, the constant flow of alcohol was somewhat comforting. Even though he wasnât drinking much more than apple cider, it gave him a convenient excuse should there be any misfirings in the memory department. It was nice to feel like the playing field was equal for once. In the fresh, New York air, it seemed they could all enjoy a moment of light hearted happiness.
But then again, this was New York.
Felicityâs movements were quick to catch Ashâs eye. While all his friends stayed on his radar, Felicity was something different. The two trained themselves to be aware of the other, perfecting the subtle coordination needed for two-man heists until it was more instinct than thought. It was a switch Ash hadnât learned to turn off outside of the training room, and one he was glad he couldnât. It was clear something was wrong, and the thief didnât hesitate to drop his friendly small talk with discount double-oh seven to follow his fellow Heart member to the rooftop corner.
âWoah, hey hey, itâs okay,â he placated, trying to quiet the apologies that spilled all too quickly from her lips. âFeli, itâs okay, really,â he insisted, finding her claims to be a âdisturbanceâ almost laughable if they werenât so concerning. He placed a gentle hand on her upper arm to try to ground her, noting the signs and symptoms of panic before being distracted by something else. She wasnât quite looking at him, but rather past him, eyes scanning the room with a touch ofâŠwas that fear? He couldnât help but look over his shoulder as well, furrowing his brows as he tried to see what she was looking for. âIs someoneâŠare you hiding from someone?â The question seemed normal between the two thieves, both sometimes caught in the act and in need of a hideaway, but neither of them were prone to getting teary eyed over a few flubbed swipes. There was something different to this. âYou know Iâve got like five emergency escape plans up my sleeve and at least two of them will look really cool,â he offered, lightening the mood slightly but offering a serious exit if she needed one. âSeriously, whatâs up?â
âAshley.â, the word spilled from her lips with all the relief of a drowning girl grabbing onto a life raft, and she let out a small exhale followed by a series of erratic nods. She wasnât sure what she was nodding at, maybe just to acknowledge his presence, to let him know she knew he was there even if her eyes were wide with fear and peeled to fluctuating masses of anonymous people, Greek gods and literary heroes and comic book characters. And though she knew it was only Ashley, and she trusted Ash with his life, she still jerked almost violently at the feeling of his hand on her upper arm - an instinctual reaction of a creature that expected every touch to be painful and harming. Her eyes fluttered back to his face and it took her a second of wide-eyed confusion to finally really acknowledge his presence and let her hand wrap around his forearm almost desperately, like it was the only thing connecting her with her sanity at this moment. âPlease donât go.â For a second she was afraid that her recoil from his comforting touch might make him go away, and Feli couldnât bear the thought of being alone right now when she felt like she might lose grounding if this one familiar face disappeared too. She noticed her sight was blurred by the tears, but she was far too occupied gripping his arm and erratically looking at the crowd to really acknowledge that, and before she knew it she was talking, saying things she meant to keep inside, âYes. Heâs... heâs there somewhere. He almost saw me.â, her eyes fluttered back to him, âPlease donât let him see me, heâll...â Heâll what? Tell everyone who she really is? Take away her family? She couldnât say that to Ash, not even Ash who was the one person she could easily say she was in absolutely perfect sync with when it came to everything important, one person who she could trust to make her smile even when she wanted to minimize herself until she could disappear from existence. So she laughed - it was a quiet, terribly sad laugh but it was there - and she wiped away her tears with back of her hand and finally let go of his arm which she was probably gripping tight enough to cause bruising. âSorry about that.â, she looked up and made an apologetic grimace, followed by another nervous chuckle, the remnants of panic ebbing away, âWhile a cool escape with you sounds as fun as always - you should stay, everyoneâs still here. Iâll be fine.â Defensively, she crossed her arms and pulled her shoulders a bit up as if to minimize the space she was taking up, and her eyes escaped to look at the panorama of NYC in the background. âI just... I saw someone I didnât want to see. I overreacted. Itâs nothing to worry about.â Well that was a lie. But Feli hoped if she didnât actually look at him, Ash wouldnât be able to tell it apart from the truth. âAre you uh, having fun?âÂ
On his night off, Bobby had been dragged into helping out. They needed to make sure that everyone was okay after what had happened. Some people had left, others had chosen to stay to see out the rest of the night. Bobby didnât even know where Liam was, but he was sure heâd catch up to him eventually. It wasnât a big deal, Liam could look after himself. Theyâd catch up back at his apartment.Â
He had noticed one particular woman in the corner, acting a little suspicious considering what had just happened; maybe she knew who the man was beneath the mask. Maybe she could give evidence. So Bobby approached her, about to put his hand on her shoulder when she spun around and apologised. Bobby frowned in concern.Â
âMiss, are you okay?â He asked. For now, it didnât matter if she knew who Sixes really was. She was obviously distressed. âCan I do anythinâ to help? Iâm a police officer.â
Whatever had been going on at the other side of the Rooftop, Felicity narrowly missed it, but it explained why all of a sudden the tall, all too familiar figure that still had the power to push her over the edge in every way possible, had disappeared into the crowd and never came back. The sudden touch on her shoulder left her scurrying backwards as far as the iron railing would allow her, and Feli gripped the cold metal with white-knuckled ferocity and desperate fear pooling in her eyes - she was being utterly irrational, and yet she couldnât help herself. âI...â, the sound came out choked, and Feli lowered her head to take a few deep breaths before she could speak again, âYes Iâm fine. I just... saw someone and... overreacted.â She swallowed, but in her throat it felt as if there were shards of glass tearing into the soft flesh, and the air wasnât coming through, and her nodding was quite erratic, she couldnât even convince herself that she was fine. âA police officer?â, she asked, a bit confused by his attire, but she figured he was probably simply having fun just like everybody else, âNo...â, her voice trailed off, eyes scanning  the masses of people that were moving behind them - no, not even police could help her in her case. Her eyes returned to him, and she wiped away the few stray tears, sniffling a bit, âJust.. an ex I donât want to see. Is... is everything alright officer? People are acting strange.â
Melody listened to the other woman talk while she unconsciously nodding to every word she said, eyes wide and lips pursed. She had no clue what the woman was talking about. She was never a fan of Star Wars, or Star Trek, or any Sci-Fi movies or shows. The usual Mel would tell her that she had no idea what she was talking about and walk away, but not tonight. She somehow stayed there and listened. âOh, thanks,â she looked down at her black leather ensemble. âDannyâsâŠaround. Well, his nameâs not really Danny. Itâs Jeb, but he came as Danny. He was here, but I think he went to the toilet or something.â The girl didnât care who Danny really is, you dumbfuck. Melody clearly had too much to drink.
In Feliâs mind, nothing could quite influence the person with such intensity as love could, make their eyes glimmer, and they skin flush, and their voice attain that sweeter note - and though woman certainly wasnât blushing, her countenance perfectly pale, Feli saw in her eyes what people must have seen in her eyes when she spoke about Daniel. At her words, Feli looked around, as if she could perhaps spot him in the masses of people, but  it was the sound of the manâs real name that made her turn her head around and look at the woman with wide eyes. âJeb? You are Jebâs girlfriend?â, she asked, quite dumbfounded, and then not to seem like an idiot, tried again, âWow youâre... beautiful. I mean not that heâs not... Just that... Oh god damn it.â A small, nervous chuckle escaped her lips, and she looked down at the drink in her hand, as if that would hide the blush in her cheeks, âWhat I erm... meant to say is, itâs nice to meet you. Jeb was nervous about finding out the right costume to fit yours but Iâm glad to see that worked out.â And she genuinely was, Feli was simply that kind of person, there was not a mean or a bitter bone in her body. Looking up and shyly offering her hand, she gave the woman a small smile, âIâm Felicity. And this whole... thing makes me nervous so Iâm sorry for all the... awkwardness.â
âNo please, you donât have to apologize.â Bella gently called out with a concerned look. She was minding her own business and planned on meeting her husband, whens she suddenly stumbled across this woman who seemed to be having a minor breakdown. At least she was sober enough to notice as she slowly approached her with caution, not wanting to make matters worse seeing as their setting wasnât quite ideal for an anxiety attack. Taking a few steps forward, Isabella shook her head and refused to leave the woman all by herself. âItâs really fine and not to be intruding or anything, but I canât simply leave you here on your own if youâre not both physically and mentally okay.â Her gaze softened as she looked around to see if she was with anyone, âAre you here by yourself or is there someone I could go to that could keep you company? Or if youâd like, I can personally stay with you until youâre completely alright on your own. Iâve had my fair share of fun for the night, so you have nothing to worry about when it comes to me.âÂ
With heart still fluttering anxiously in her chest, Feli barely found enough strength to force herself to stop the violent shivering (at least minimize it) and turn around to face the source of the soft, soothing, female voice. In the half-lit surroundings of the rooftop, and flashing disco lights in the distance, Feli could barely discern the features of the woman, but that didnât mean that somewhere, at the back of her mind, her face seemed almost familiar. For a second Feli stood there, looking at the woman with a slight frown, rummaging through the memories more than two years old, until she figured she was probably acting even more strange than usual. âIâm sorry.â, she cleared her throat and downcast her eyes before she dared speak again, âI have friends around but uh... theyâre having fun, and I really donât want to interrupt them with this.â Not to mention, it wasnât like she could just explain to them why she currently felt so violently sick that she wanted to disappear from existence, itâs not like she could come up to them and say âMy ex-fiance who is also a Diamond is here, and if he spots me I might lose everything I have built in the past  two years.â âNo.â, she said urgently, and then looked up with apologetic eyes, âI mean, no I couldnât possibly keep you here, you must have somewhere youâd rather be. A strange girl making a mess of herself is not really party-material.â With a weak attempt of a smile, Feli leaned against the railing again, and took a few deep breaths before she dared ask her question. âBut uh... could you tell me if you see a tall guy in his early thirties, dirty blonde hair, heâs dressed as a fighter pilot. I... am kinda avoiding him.â