LAST PODCAST ON THE LEFT SENTENCE STARTERS PT. 16 — quotes pulled from the podcast hosted by marcus parks, ben kissel, and henry zebrowski. contains nsfw content. feel free to make alterations.
people take murder confessions pretty seriously.
you don’t have to listen to every single demented doll that tells you to do something.
just because your parents hate him, doesn’t mean he’s cool.
if there is one person that is over-fucked on this planet, it is [name].
kinda makes it a little hotter, i guess.
why do you get me in these conversations? how am i in this right now?
you would be surprised how much your male roommate can purposefully not see.
this is my sweet spot, this is where i’m happiest.
hey, i’m just getting closer to the fucking truth.
you wait until i get drunk later and i start talking about robots.
that town has a death curse!
if you look at “the jersey shore,” they were actually scholars.
technically, you were the one that most people thought would be a serial killer.
whatever disgusting illness was inside you is now inside of me.
i’m just so thrilled you found a pool and not a fountain this time.
this is what happens in the morning? is this why you sleep in?
everyone did everything wrong this past week
my brain is getting expanded, yet interestingly enough, dumber.
don’t fucking say it! don’t even fucking say it!
then you just watch wheel of fortune and forget about it.
there’s no fucking alcohol here.
if there was a license to listen to music, i would have yours revoked.
do not get into your heightist rant.
what was the last thing that you were enthusiastic about that turned out well?
it’s never a good day when the ghost hunters show up at your door just randomly.
you never know if you’re gonna see something in the skies that makes your neighbors afraid to speak to you.
i think it’s fine to have sex with a sasquatch.
have you not masturbated this month?
you can’t sleep naked while camping.
what a good way to get rid of your family.
it’s horrifying to drive with you.
i hope that you do keep my bones, [name] - or a piece of my body.
never, ever believe the pamphlets.
let me tell you the story here: so jonah fucks the whale, right?
whatever it takes for you to forget that you are impotent.