anger bean

Matt | they/him | one day I'll make a carrd for my system, but alas. Over 20 of us in here, we'll count it again eventually. | I'm gay, ace, polyam, and aroflux. open to messages and asks! current hyperfix is welcome to the table | Writing blog: @madmadwritesagain

[discomfortreviseted]

everytime dick says something weird about him and batman wally goes yeah i get that with me and flash but we are literally normal and you and batman are freaks. you should shoot him or something.

[wolfythewitch]

Do you guys wanna see the version of bloodymary im somewhat invested in

[wolfythewitch]

Imagine you float up from near death and some old guy is poking you in the face and humming

[wolfythewitch]

Okay wait one more

[yexerrr]

*taps mic* Rocky should've been on the tumblr sexyman poll instead of Grace. *leaves*

[margflower]

[schmilsson]

[dietspam16]

i’d never seen the follow up this is 1000x funnier

[louisegluckpdf]

“well. plays the cards i’m given” has profoundly changed something in me. litany against wallowing in an unsatisfactory situation

[louisegluckpdf]

jpgs that radically altered my worldview

[rna-world]

oh my god I’ve had the evil version of this image for like 3 years I was wondering where the original was

[roscolux]

need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[stavarosthearcane]

Good Job.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

[heroofthreefaces]

do you think no one else has time travel

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

[roach-works]

wow if only you had a time machine

[transdaughterofthesun]

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

[iforgotmyfandom]

:)

[idiototheinternet]

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

[lizyarikus]

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

[anexperimentallife]

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

[what-if-i-just-did]

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Imagine how I feel

[mrsjdavis]

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It doesn’t have to

[smegorl]

Yes it does.

[ravioliet]

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[whyenn-reader]

ADHD advice from non-ADHD people: start blocking out your day and put things in your google calendar

ADHD advice from ADHD people: any time you're waiting for your food to microwave YOU HAVE TO WASH DISHES WASH AS MANY AS YOU CAN THIS IS A RACE AGAINST TIME THIS IS THE ONLY TIME THIS COULD HAPPEN

[blodwyrm]

snapshot from one of Oscar’s memorial paintings i did last year!

[boviboy]

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

diy flowery soundboard

[garmbreak1]

This might be controversial but I believe that as a DM you should never kill your players. Whether it's "bad luck" or "a long series of bad decisions," it causes a lot of unnecessary hardship all around.

Instead, you should kill their characters.

[thememedaddy]

[ivafakename]

YOUNG MAN!

There's no need to feel down,

I MEAN YOUNG THEY!

I forgot your pronoun,

[ivafakename]

Prev do you think it's okay to just go on other people's posts and be funnier than them?

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[horizon-penblade]

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

[gorusiti7]

Kawkaw wants to play!