als ik kan;

quinn they/them butch

[doodleomi]

every time i read catullus' plea for cybele to leave him alone at the end of cat63 i just imagine him being plagued by godly visions telling him to Become A Gallus Right Now

[kosmogrl]

I never got over anything. I miss everyone and everything. nostalgia and grief kill me every day. oh and I also love going on walks.

[cloud-hymn]

Imagine you’re a seasoned fbi agent trying to take down the literal mafia and your key witnesses are 2 asshole 19 year olds who refuse to let themselves go into witness protection bc then they can’t play their college sport. Let’s just say that Agent Browning should count his lucky stars he hasn’t discovered how Kevin Day connects to all of this bc he would not leave one conversation with Kevin with his sanity intact

[sexchangedotcom]

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

[stringcage]

I was gonna ask you- K- will you come to my fourth of July party this summer 🥺? Don't go to Dick's. Come to my party, we'll have so much fun, it's so substance, no one will know- K I don't want to do that- mmmm we could have a dream or even two 😍! Your brother will be completely alone... in the trunk of my car ✨ >:/ Maybe. Maybe.

[cannotacrowmb]

wemby is so great. he's 22. he had a potentially fatal blood clot. he's in a fantasy/sci-fi book club for nba players that's just him and one other guy. he beat the okc thunder in the nba cup semifinals and said immediately afterwards he was happy to be playing "ethical basketball" (implied: unlike them). he has a high kick so high that it can knock a basketball out of the hoop. he decided the best way to recover from the potentially fatal blood clot was training with shaolin monks. he could have had a career with fc barcelona but turned it down because the coaches weren't challenging him enough. he's 7'4". actually he's 2.24m because he's french. he cries on the court because he "refuses to hide the burden of [his] emotions." he elbowed a guy in the neck last week. he hates iso ball. he hates ICE. he's the first guy to win defensive player of the year in a unanimous vote. he's currently building a 7,500-piece lego model of the millennium falcon

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[ledwinged]

[skimble-shanks-the-railway-cat]

Receiving a Werther’s Derivative from my poser grandma

[we-have-black-marble-at-home]

translator's note: in america, "seek shelter immediately" means "go outside and stand on the porch"

[mushroomtiefling]

As an American, I can tell you this is true. Recently had a tornado warning and me and my family just sat on the porch. Got some beautiful photos of the sky tho:

Yes these are real photos.

[lesbian-stick-handling]

Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"

[undying-princess]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[gaytanic-panic]

[gala-xyzz]

[suigintou]

wikipedia editors are like if redditors were monks

[hal-monitor]

✨⚾️ BASEBALL YURI ⚾️✨

[cuppydogshane]

Ilya could create a schism in the church out of how bad he wanted to fuck shane but henry tudor could Never lead boston to a stanley cup. and thats why Ilya is good

[uncahier]

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