We’re In Love.

A heart unfolding, kinda thrilling, fantasy loving romance.

[hecallsmeradiant]

[hecallsmeradiant]

Looking for a certain Jorden, if your him, then let me know somehow.

[hecallsmeradiant]

Looking for a certain Jorden, if your him, then let me know somehow.

[hecallsmeradiant]

Well today was the day, I turned thirty today. Now four months pregnant, I was in complete Agony.

Nothing Daniel did helped me, everything hurt. I knew he was worried, I was worried. We knew this day was coming but I didn’t know what it was going to feel like. Now that I did, I hated it. I hurt.

“Danny” I moaned out in pain “what do I do?”

[hecallsmeradiant]

I knew I had her stunned by me saying that.

But it was true, even three months pregnant, she looked as beautiful as ever. I still couldn’t believe that five years ago, she said yes.

As we laid in bed together, later that evening, I petted her hair as she gently snored. Even though I loved that our baby was growing, I still was annoyed at the fact I couldn’t love her the way only I could.

I was also worried, this upcoming January was her golden birthday, and that meant for the first couple of months of our baby’s life, I would be rasing him or her alone.

I wasn’t scared, just apprehensive, what was going to happen? Would I make a great dad? Or at least better than my actual dad.

‘God’ ,I thought to myself, I don’t know if I wanted the baby to come out now or go away all together.

But I hated myself for even trying to push His timing.

[hecallsmeradiant]

I smiled sweetly at Daniel, “Danny, what would I ever do without you?”

He smiled at me as we dished up our plates, I had made a wild raspberry sauce to go well with our meal, for our drink we had a blackberry wine we made together 5 years ago.

“My darling” he mused out loud, “I honestly think the question should be, what would I do without you?”

I chocked on my wine and looked at him stunned, “are you kidding me Danny? You certainly wouldn’t be in the woods living off of wildlife, that’s forsure.”

He laughed, finishing off his meal, me doing the same. “That’s right I suppose, but I kinda like it out here, it’s peaceful, it’s quiet, and with you, my heart is always warm despite the weather outside.”

I rolled my eyes, 5 years of this kind of love and I still couldn’t get used to the idea of him loving me for me. He knew exactly what I was. And despite that, he still chooses to love me, and chose, quite willing, to have a child with me. “Daniel, I know I don’t say this enough, but I love you, thank you for being my husband.”

He was quite for a few moments and I thought I had stunned him, but when he spoke I fell in love all over again.

“Too bad your pregnant, because I feel like making love to you tonight.”

[hecallsmeradiant]

I knew my wife Jay was worried, hell I was worried too. I saw that she had called me, but I had turned my phone on silent up in the stand for good measure.

I had left yesterday at mid dawn, and haven’t seen a deer yet, the night was cold, but I managed to survive, hasn’t been the worst this winter. I knocked on the tree for good measure though, who knows who could read your thoughts.

Finally in the afternoon sun, I saw my first buck of the day, only a two pointer but hey we need meat. Aiming my rifle, I took a deep breath, held it, and took my shot. Thank god i hit it point blank, you could hear this rifle for at least a mile and I was cold.

After the deer finally fell, I walked out to it, hauled it onto the sled I had brought, and started to make my way home.

Around supper time, I finally made it back to our homely little cabin. “My darling, I’m home finally.” I called out letting the rope down.

My wife came out, smiling as I held open my arms for a hug, as we embraced I kissed her hair mumbling a didyamissme?

She soothed my back, nodding her head. “Of course I did, did you get my call?”

I nodded and we separated, “wanna help me clean this?” I asked.

She threw her hair in a bun, and pushed up her sleeves “let’s get this done, I’m hungry.”

I reached my hand out and rubbed her swelled stomach, “how is the baby?”

For some reason she frowned, and pulled away “I had to take a cynide pill today...” she trailed off looking awefully ashamed.

I just smiled hopefilled “well if the baby is anything like you, I’m sure they is fine.”

She smiled back, unsure of herself and God I loved her for it. “You did what you had to my Honey. You are so beautiful, did you know that?”

She huffed in embarrassment, and pretended to ignore my statement, because I knew there was no question.

Together we cleaned the deer, and as she worked on getting the hide ready to tan, I worked on cooking some venison steaks, because today was our honeymoon. Five years of being with this woman only wanted me to have thirty more.

“Husband” she laughed “how could I forget this special day?”

I huffed, turning the steaks over the grill on the open fire, “probably because I wasn’t here to remind you.”

[hecallsmeradiant]

It started like any other day, a Midwest winter, cold and snowy. But today was different for me. Everything hurt, I couldn’t even move the shift was too much to bear, I could feel my insides turning out begging me to do something that I didn’t even know if I should. I knew I could, inside knew I could. And even though I desperately wanted to meet my fate, I knew inherently today was not the day.

So I do what I normally do, on Winteray such as this, I take some Tylenol and a cynide pill to calm down a bit and pretend I’m normal for the day. Pretend is the key word.

Living alone in the woods wasn’t as bad as you would think, no one cared if you mumbled to yourself, and you could always hear the chirping of the birds to bring your mind to ease.

I rubbed my inflated belly, praying to God above that the child was safe, no matter what I had to do to keep my own self at bay, my husband Daniel should be back any time now from hunting, but something felt different this time. He was taking too long. Usually he would be back by early morning and I would awake to a fresh kill being cooked for our morning breakfast.

I tried his phone but it went straight to voicemail, I didn’t know what to do, we desperately needed food so I didn’t want to ruin his chances by blowing up his phone, yet at the same time I could not quiet the worry I had in my heart. “Where are you?” I asked out loud, starting at the trees in this hardwood forest, as if they could answer back. Who knows, maybe they could and they were just hiding the answer from me. Something was wrong though, I could feel it. He should be home by now, but he isn’t.

Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that cyanide pill today after all.