He had been to ill to consumed with fever to truly remember it until he went looking for past memories , seeking to find what had been lost. It might have been a small mercy that he had forgotten after all. Lan SiZhui knew what it was like to face hunger, it had taken it's toll on his body. He was not fragile, he had grown up well in Gusu, but he was smaller then other's of his age group. He had been stunted due to hunger all of this had been before he had been given a home in the Burial Mounds.
They had been ushered, they had been herded like lamb for the slaughter, they were no longer people, they were less then dogs. Wen was the name attached to them. Even a tiny boy he had been aware of what that meant, it meant they were expendable. Had he not lost Uncle Three, and Aunty Two ? he remembered them but as an older boy it was not well. These were two who had been married and they had been separated by death, it was almost cruel, how thy had fought so hard to stay together only to be separated in the long run. The sensation of abandonment was real, for little Wen Yuan.
Aunt Five, was still very young she had been taking care of A Yuan, she had been kind. She was pretty, he had heard a secret she was suppose to marry into a bigger sect, at least she would have before all of these. The men had come for her, like they had for Cousin One , Four and Six. They had not come back. A Yuan was the only one in the makeshift tent, and Aunt Five had wrapped him up in her heavy coat, she had given him a butterfly and she had shoved him into a bag. A hurried stay there. Had been hissed in his direction, in a tone of affection, fear and concern, all thing that A-Yuan felt. They had trashed the place she had purposefully knocked over the basket with the clothes he was in, but his cry was muffled by her scream.
When he had been able to finally struggle from the basket, there had been no one left. A small A Yuan had stood there sobbing, alone in the dark. Thank goodness for Uncle Ning, he had gathered a little A Yuan up and carried him back to the others. Grandmother had taken the weak boy into her arms and had not let go. They were all starving but somehow she managed to scrape up enough to give him a meal.
Lan Sizhui finished the tale as he remembered it. He was in tears but he shared it with Father Wei, because Father Wei needed to understand something. What he had done for them had been heaven compared to how they had suffered.
"Abandonment can be many things, not just physical." he mused as he dabbed his eyes with his sleeves. "We abandoned our ways, you abandoned the life you could have, the Wen abandoned the Burial Mounds on the off chance they could do something to help...I abandoned the memories because ...because they hurt to much, you have to understand...we all lost something. The best part of this is you can always reclaim it, it might not be n the same fashion, but its there still waiting in a bittersweet sort of way."
@achromaticstars { Wei Wuxian }
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