@heesdreamer - Tumblr Blog

Woodland

PAIRING ➩ jungkook x reader

WC ➩ 21.3k

SUMMARY ➩ Spending everyday living on the road with your six best friends seems like anyone's dream but the adventurous lifestyle has become another dreaded routine. Meeting a gas station worker desperate for a change reminds you how to love the unknown.

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Well this took me forever to write. I think I realized a few weeks ago that if I didn't stop myself I could write this group and story forever so l decided to just get it out to you guys! Warning that for the first handful of paragraphs I had the characters in different places so there could be small mixups with tiny details in the timeline or who said what. Additionally I know it's a bit far fetched Jungkook would come along so easily but give it a shot to explain itself lol (also totally something I would do personally) hope you enjoy!! NOT PROOFREAD

The shake of the van was making it impossible to even think about sleep, your body never quite getting used to the old rattle of it’s ancient build or the way it felt like near death every time the driver would hit a pothole.

Luckily your current driver on rotation was the most observant out of the group. Seokjin hated the jerky way the other boys handled the wheel in general and he long claimed you gave him motion sickness with your tendency to drift off.

A habit that you carried even off the road, never quite able to keep your mind focused or in one place. You were universes away even now that the long stretch of road was finally opening up into somewhere you could stop for some gas or a chance to stretch your legs.

“Be quick in there.” His low voice was firm and you felt the collective eye roll behind your back as you slid open the door and hopped out of the van.

“Y’know you’re not actually our mom right?” You could hear Taehyung’s specific teasing tone that he used whenever he wanted to get under Seokjin’s skin.

Glancing behind you showed that he was obnoxiously crossing his arms on the windowsill of the driver seat door and you could see the frustration on the elders face from the heat rolling in, no doubt the metal under Taehyung’s arms burning his skin while he made his point.

“Leave him alone Taehyung.” Your tone was quick and sharp but you knew he wouldn’t take it to heart, turning to you with a big goofy smile that told you he’d not even registered your light scolding.

Seokjin softened his gaze when he looked at you and he gave you a gentle wave once Taehyung finally got off his window and he was able to roll it up and escape from the heat a minuscule amount. You knew it was still brutally filling the now unmoving air of the van but he sunk back into his seat regardless.

You waited at the entrance of the gas station for Taehyung to approach and he slung his arm over your shoulders once he did, tugging you inside where you could see the other boys already bugging the cashier. The AC was more than welcomed on your warm skin and you sighed a bit in relief as you surveyed the shelves aimlessly.

The tall boy was letting you go in favor of piling bags of chips up in his arms, once again forgetting the fact you were always on a strict budget.

You noticed him hesitating before eventually grabbing one of Seokjin’s favorites too and you smiled to yourself before making your way over to the drinks. You allowed yourself a few minutes in front of the large clear refrigerators, leaning forward to rest your head against the frosty glass and shutting your eyes to try to find a moment of peace before you were back on the road.

As strict as Seokjin usually was, he hadn’t been being dramatic when he urged you to not take your time so you made your way to the register as quickly as you could although the fact the others were still in an intense conversation with the register worker showed you that you’d be in here for much longer than you wanted originally.

“Can you idiots move?” Your voice caused them to pause mid sentence and Yoongi sighed before scooting over and allowing you the chance to hand the noticeably younger boy your items.

“We were just telling…” Jimin had started his sentence excitedly and then faded out as he looked towards the cashier to fill in the blank, a smile building on your face when he tiredly shifted his chest so his nametag was more visible. “Jungkook! I was telling Jungkook about our travels.”

“Oh yeah?” You pushed your drinks further up on the counter and tried your best to ignore his loud voice behind you beginning to ramble about something else already, finally catching the boys attention as he grabbed the cold cans and started to scan them for you. “And what do you think?”

Your gaze locked on his and you were surprised to see how unamused he was despite your friends bantering with him. Normally people seemed to have an automatic pull to the friendly boys (including you considering how easily they’d gotten you to follow them across the country) but he was completely blank as he stared and finished scanning your things like there was nothing out of the ordinary happening.

“Sounds tiring.” His voice was as low and flat as you expected it to be but the tone was surprisingly sweeter than his appearance let on. Your eyebrow quirked as you heard Taehyung approaching from behind you with a low scandalized whistle.

“Wrong thing to say.” His one arm was circling your waist loosely while the other wrapped around you to put his mountain of snacks down on the counter. “Now she’ll be determined to kidnap you.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything for a second but his eyes dropped down to your middle and the boy wrapped around it before looking at you again curiously.

You hated the look on his face and the way he seemed like he already had you completely figured out despite being absolute strangers who’d barely held a conversation. You sharpened your gaze at the challenge and sent an elbow flying backwards into Taehyungs stomach so he’d get off of you, the weather far too hot to have him clinging onto your back anyways.

“Can’t be more tiring than scanning snacks for idiots all day.” It was quick to fall off your lips even though it both insulted the boy behind the register and your friends, who’d begun silently retreating back to the car once they realized you were falling into an argument. “How much do you even get paid?”

“More than a hippie would that’s for sure.” He didn’t seem at all bothered by your invasive question and the insult came so easily from him that you actually paused.

You’d gotten your fair share of rude comments about your lifestyle choice especially from your parents when you told them you’d be quitting your part time job and leaving school in favor of riding around in a beat up van with a bunch of boys.

Granted they were who you’d known for your entire life (atleast the majority of them) but your parents had never been fond of the small group that followed you around to begin with. They weren’t at school half the time, spending most days waiting outside for you in the parking lot leaned against the same exact van you called home now.

It wasn’t easy to pack as little belongings as you could and leave the only town you’d ever known behind but it would’ve been harder to stay, even if you didn’t know it then.

The repetitive routine of getting up and going to school and then work or work and then school, doing assignments on your ‘breaks’ and searching for better paying jobs during your free study hour was slowly killing you but that is what you thought life had to offer.

Everybody you knew was miserable, monotoned small talk always starting off with a complaint about work or a rant about how high rent prices had gotten continuously.

You didn’t realize it was possible to have so much fun every single day, even on the days where the van shook a little too much or you needed to pull over due to Seokjin getting motion sick.

There was nothing to do tomorrow but see even more places you’d never been to and make new memories with the people you’d seen as family longer than you even realized, even those who joined you later than others. No job to clock in for and no deadlines screaming at you loud enough to keep you awake and restless at night.

Certainly no tight and obnoxiously colored gas station uniforms to pull over your head everyday.

Your glare sharpened as you trailed down Jungkook’s frame and his attire.

“I may be a hippie but atleast I’m happy.” You snatched your drink and Taehyung’s bag of snacks away from him, so annoyed you weren’t even caring that he’d left you to pay for it all once again. “Enjoy your ghost town. Kidnapping invitation officially revoked.”

His face barely changed throughout the entire interaction but you briefly saw it fall before you spun on your heel and stormed out which was more than enough for you to be momentarily satisfied.

The van doors were opened and the boys were mostly sat inside not even bothering to pretend they weren’t watching your interaction through the windows, only Seokjin minding his own business as he pumped the gas and leaned with practiced carelessness against the hood.

“Man no luck?” Jimin was the only one socially dumb enough to talk despite your raging mood but you just bit your tongue and gave him a shake of the head. “Sucks, seems like he needed this.”

You sighed and placed yourself next to Seokjin, shoulder pressing against his and eyes squinting from the bright sun showcasing itself behind the pumping station. You opted to be next to him because you figured he wouldn’t say something aggravating to you right now and you knew you made the right choice when he nudged you softly.

“Hey, don’t look so down. Maybe he’ll change his mind.” His voice was soft and staying in a whisper despite both of you knowing the other boys could hear every word. You glanced at him and his gentle eyes before giving a nod that you didn’t agree with. “I did.”

You started to smile at the memory of the day you met Seokjin but it faded when you heard the loud chime of the gas station door opening.

Taehyung hissed through his teeth mockingly before he was sinking back into the van, the rest of them following swiftly after to avoid whatever argument you were about to have. Seokjin looked at you for a second before sighing and removing the gas pump, closing the tank and climbing into the front seat.

You could hear him rolling the window crank so it would be cracked and he could listen in better but you ignored it and glared at the approaching boy.

“You forgot your soda.” He was standing an awkward distance away like he wasn’t comfortable fully approaching you and it was too far to actually hand you the supposedly abandoned drink.

“Thanks.” It was short and blunt enough that he winced a little and you were slightly surprised at the show of emotion but you stood your ground and didn’t react back.

He was shuffling in place and you could hear the loose rocks crunching under his heavy shoes, going between avoiding looking at you and staring harshly like he was preparing himself to speak. The hesitance from somebody who had been so quick to insult you a few minutes ago was weirding you out and you frowned.

“Listen I just… I had a bad day.” His hands came out almost desperately trying to get you to listen and you started to understand what Jimin had meant about him needing this. “Were you even serious back there? You take people with you?”

“Sometimes.” You were still being sharp but you tried to ease the delivery with a light shrug and a glance back at the van. “Depending on their feelings about hippies.”

The call back to his insult made him falter but then he breathed out a short laugh when he realized you were just kidding, making fun of him and how quick he was to be harsh. He nodded and looked off in the distance for a second before watching you again.

“You don’t even know me.”

You’d seen this exact moment half a dozen times before and only once had they actually gotten into the van with you, adorned in a suit and tie and beyond quiet and awkward as he sat in the back with a queasy look on his nervous face.

“Your names Jungkook and you work at a gas station in, what might be, the most boring town in Texas.” You couldn’t help but smile a little at your own jab and you watched his shoulders deflate as he ran out of arguments. “And you have a weird accent that makes you slur your words by the way. Incase you didn’t notice.”

His eyes squinted at the last bit like he wanted to disagree but he stopped himself visibly and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. You watched him glance again down the long stretch of road you’d spent most the day driving down and you stayed quiet, letting him have the moment.

“Can we stop at my house first?”

-

You certainly weren’t the type of person to judge how somebody was living but what Jungkook considered a house was only a little more than a small shack.

He’d been completely silent the entirety of the drive there except giving out hushed directions to Seokjin that led you out of the small town area and down lots of dirt and gravel roads. The van was rocking harshly under the nature made paths before pulling to a stop infront of the small wooden building that was somehow leaning in both directions.

“Um… I’ll be quick.” He didn’t look at any of you and the embarrassment was clear on his face. “Please don’t leave.”

You glanced at Jimin with a frown once he was getting out of the passenger seat and hesitantly walking up to the front door and he gave you a similarly dejected look back, feeling more and more like you’d made the right decision.

It was rare that the entire van was able to remain silent, even when the boys were asleep you typically had light music playing or you and Yoongi were having a hushed conversation throughout the long night stretches of driving, but you could barely even hear a breath as you all waited for Jungkook to return.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” The silence was only broken when twenty minutes passed without a movement from the house and you looked at Namjoon with a tensed expression.

“He asked us not to leave.” Hoseok was reminding you all from his spot, leaned against the wall and almost looking bored.

“You have to admit this is weird.” Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows as he sighed and you moved your gaze back to the window, staring intently at the door Jungkook had disappeared into. “What if it’s a set up?”

“He’s a kid.” Seokjin was disagreeing from the front and you didn’t bother correcting him. It was clear Jungkook was in his early twenties but he definitely wasn’t much younger than you or Taehyung and Jimin.

“Big ass kid.” The latter in that trio snorted and the van fell silent again as you all simultaneously wondered if he was going to return or linger in his house long enough for you to give up and leave.

You actually weren’t sure if he was or not considering how torn he had been this entire ride over.

It wouldn’t be the first or last time you failed to bring somebody along and most of the time you knew the people better than you did the quiet boy, his arrival being one of your more impulsive invites that was purely done out of spite for his attitude and from Jimin’s recommendation.

Jimin surprisingly had been the most hesitant to adding new people and you didn’t miss the light relief on his face whenever somebody backed out last minute, the most tense you’d ever seen him being when you past by four towns and Seokjin was still sitting in the back of your van.

The boy grew on him quickly but your most friendly companion was still the most guarded under his big warm smile.

So although brief and subtle, his willingness to even banter with Jungkook and joke about you bringing him along was enough to pique your interest and you certainly didn’t miss his unusual investment this time around.

You all breathed a sigh of relief when the door was finally swinging open and Jungkook came stumbling out, moving at a faster pace than he had been earlier and cradling a large backpack on his chest to keep it close.

Yoongi was pulling the van door open and Seokjin was starting it up as soon as he heard the loud voices coming from inside the house, the force in which Jungkook came out making the front entrance fly and stay completely open. Somebody inside was cursing and banging around, just barely getting glimpse of an older disheveled man coming out onto the porch with tilted steps.

“Drive.” He’d barely gotten a foot in the van and definitely hadn’t closed the door but for once, straight edge Seokjin was peeling off the dirt road and sending you all flying backwards, Namjoon and Hoseok sitting up to try and push the door closed after they gained their footing a bit.

You’d just barely avoided getting crushed by Jungkook tumbling in your direction and you didn’t even realize your hands had been gripping his shoulders until Seokjin was back on the main road, making eye contact for half a second when he glanced back to see who caught him before he was hurriedly shifting away from your touch.

“Jesus christ Jin.” Yoongi was groaning softly and climbing over the middle console to sit in the passenger seat that Jungkook had left empty in his attempt to get away. “Thought you were a CEO not a drag racer.”

You were pulling yourself up onto one of the bench seats and sitting as you fixed your clothes, looking up at the rear view mirror just in time to see Seokjin giving you an apologetic look for the hectic getaway. You smiled at him reassuringly before patting the spot next to you so Jungkook would get off the floor and come sit.

“CEO?” His voice was quiet even though he was right next to you now and you looked at him confused, barely hearing what Yoongi had said in the commotion. His eyes barely grazed over to the drivers seat before you understood, mouth parting in realization as you hushed your own words now.

“We found Seokjin six months ago when our tire blew and we had to spend a few days near New York.” You were careful with how you phrased things but Jungkook looked extra interested as he learned more about the group, assuming you’d all been together for a long time by the way you interacted. “He was supposed to take over his father’s company.”

You studied his face as he processed the information and for the first time you noticed that he had an almost healed bruise around one of his eyes, yellow and faded but still very apparent from this distance.

Your mind drifted back to the angry man chasing him out of the house and how quickly he’d agreed to disappear with complete strangers just because he’d been noticed and asked. It worried you to consider what else he might have done to be noticed if you hadn’t needed gas at that point.

“And he just left it all behind?” He was speaking slowly like he was afraid to upset you again but you just shrugged small enough for only him to notice.

“Most of us didn’t have anything we were forgetting.” Hoseok filled in where you had stopped and you glanced at him, not upset he had been listening knowing privacy wasn’t really an option in such a tight space. He wasn’t looking at the two of you, his hands busy fiddling with a string bracelet he was crafting.

Your mouth pulled into a frown at his words as you thought of your parents and your younger siblings. You’d kissed them on the head at dinner the night before you left, not able to bare the looks they’d give you if they knew you’d be gone before morning.

Jungkook didn’t miss the way your face changed but he looked away before you noticed he was staring at you curiously.

“So where are you going next?” Most of the heads in the van turned to look at him with confusion and even Seokjin gave a quick glance back before focusing on the road again. “Oh um.. I mean where are we going.”

Taehyung and Jimin leaned over to roughly pat him on the back before shaking him back and forth affectionately, getting an eye roll from Hoseok who turned away in favor of cranking the knob under the window to get it roll down, the loud squeak of the old glass not doing much to cover the small sounds of protest Jungkook was making from next to you.

“Up west because Jimin here is positive he left his favorite pair of shorts somewhere in Oregon.” You were answering since nobody else seemed particularly focused and Jimin stopped shaking the boy to glare at you.

“Don’t sound so skeptical. A man never forgets where he loses his shorts.” He sounded determined and you laughed at how serious he suddenly was.

The mix of personalities between you all was something you’d never had to get used to and you felt slightly sorry for Jungkook considering how fast he’d gotten thrown into it.

You grew up together like this and you never once understood why people were so fascinated by your close bond and undying friendship, not realizing how uncommon it was for different archetypes to stick around eachother in high school.

There was only a short period of time where you felt worried about losing your friends and that was in your sophomore year. Yoongi had started to show up to school less and less over the past few months and nobody ever answered when you’d knock on his door after class.

You’d ask Hoseok where he’d gone and why he wasn’t reaching out but the bubbly boy would be unusually resigned before telling you that it wasn’t his place to share.

There was never something that the six of you didn’t discuss before and it was almost world shattering to be kept out of the loop, obvious by the fact Jimin also started to not show up after another week passed. The five boys were eventually all out of commission and for the first time since you were a child, you were alone.

You patiently went through your days on autopilot and trusted that they’d come back to you whenever they were ready and a month later they finally did.

You came to find out that Yoongi’s dad had passed away around the time he stopped coming around and the boys complicated relationship with the man did little to help ease him through the grief. Seeing the anger from the man chasing Jungkook out of the house had reminded you of being back in middle school and getting small glimpses of what type of home life Yoongi had.

It’d been a long time since you questioned why you never went to his house for sleepovers or why he sometimes seemed a lot more exhausted than the other kids at school but it was natural to find him at Jimin’s house on weekends or sharing food from Hoseok’s lunchbox.

He’d been sixteen when you sat side by side on the old dock and listened to him speak of running away.

You’d let him rant to you about open roads and swimming in lakes but you didn’t take it to heart, knowing he was going through a confusing grief and possibly wasn’t thinking clearly. He never came back to school and he also never stopped asking you what you thought about leaving with him.

He was wise beyond your years by the time you all actually got together and put the plan into motion.

Taehyung on the other hand was constantly trying to keep the group as light as possible and it was rare you ever saw him serious. you knew he was a smart boy, smarter than the rest of you when it came to things that mattered but you figured playing stupid about certain things was his way of getting through life.

It was obvious since you were kids that Namjoon was the glue of your group, overwhelmingly neutral when the rest of you swung high and low with your emotions.

You’d expected him to give you the most slack about the plan to disappear but he’d just shrugged softly and asked when you wanted to leave.

You figured all these aspects of your relationships together would be hard to adjust to while also being on the road and coping with leaving your old life behind, even if only temporarily, but Jungkook seemed like he was doing well enough as he played a card game with Namjoon and sent glances your way occasionally.

It was easy to let yourself doze off with Seokjin and his careful driving alongside the wind softly blowing through the cracked windows and doing its best to cool you all off.

You didn’t wake up until the sun had long set and apparently the boys had switched drivers, Hoseok now sat behind the wheel with Seokjin fast asleep and curled up as much as the small passenger seat would left him.

A small groan left your lips when you sat up, neck sore from sleeping hunched over and leaned against the hard window. A quick look around told you everybody was also out for the night outside of the newest addition. Jungkook was staring out the window with a heavy expression on his face and you were scooting over to the spot next to him before you’d even fully woken up.

“You doing alright?” Your voice was croaky from exhaustion and quiet to avoid waking one of the boys but he heard you over the wind and turned to give you a quick nod. “Have you ever left Texas before?”

“Never left my town.” His reply was quick and almost snappy but his apologetic glance stopped any hurt you could’ve felt.

“It’s okay to feel sad about this.”

He held your gaze for a little longer than he normally did at that before looking away and back out the window. The road was as empty and barren as it had been when you’d fallen asleep, possibly somewhere in New Mexico by now but you couldn’t be sure until you got a chance to talk to Hoseok.

Which seemed to be coming quicker than you expected considering he was slowly pulling the van over into a rest area parking lot with a lengthy yawn.

“Is it still okay if I feel happy?” He’d lost the sharp edge to his voice as it dropped in volume but you heard him easily now that the wind wasn’t blowing and you were stopping across a few different parking spots in the large empty lot.

You gave him a gentle smile and a soft pat on his knee before crouching your way to the front of the van and sticking your head between the two seats. Hoseok was in the middle of another large yawn and you raised an eyebrow at him in question, getting a finger in your face that told you he needed a second.

You sighed and turned your head the other way to find Seokjin awake now and closer to you than you’d realize, an inch or two away from brushing the tip of his nose with your own.

“Sleep well?” Your voice was hushed with a light smile and he hesitated for a second before nodding and looking away from you, out the window as he took in your surroundings.

“Need to stretch my legs before I fall asleep.” Hoseok was finally giving an answer to your silent question regarding where you were and why you were stopping. He was popping the door open and stumbling out without another word, itching his stomach sleepily as he made his way towards the rest stop.

The door was sliding open behind you and you glanced back to see Jungkook waiting expectantly outside of it, holding his hand at the top of the door so you could crouch back away from the front seats and join him out in the open air. It smelled slightly like it was going to rain soon and your nose scrunched up in annoyance.

“They normally have vending machines inside.” You were walking side by side with him and he looked at you when you swayed to the right and bumped your arm against his, smiling up at him. “Rock paper scissors to see who buys the other a snack?”

He gave you an eye roll but the corner of his lip was turned up enough to tell you he didn’t actually mean it.

The rest stop was clearly frozen in time considering the fact it was completely empty and all the pamphlets behind the information desk were dated for the years prior. It didn’t help that all the food in the vending machine was stall looking or so far past the expiration date that the logos on the packaging had started to fade.

You and Jungkook were standing in front of it anyways and listening to the low buzzing it was making, the distant sound of a sink running in the bathrooms where Hoseok had went being the only thing to remind you things were still moving.

“Still wanna play your game?” His voice was low but you could see him in the reflection of the dirty glass, eyes scanning over the options with his hood pulled so far onto his head it almost obstructed his view.

“There’s gotta be something good in here.” Your voice had the heavy weight of determination but he clearly didn’t take you seriously considering the little laugh you could hear him letting out.

“I doubt it.” You both jumped sideways and Jungkook made a small yelling noise you’d have to make fun of him for later, turning your head to see a tired Jimin standing very still between you both and looking completely unbothered that he had just scared the shit out of you.

“When the fuck did you get in here?” Your voice was a hiss and he eyed you weirdly, eyes glancing at the hand you were clutching to your chest like you were somehow the weird one.

Hoseok was coming back from the bathroom then and looking at you all like he was too tired to deal with it, nodding his head towards the dark parking lot outside the glass doors that told you he was ready to go. You sighed at the vending machine one last time before heading back through the doors into the chilled night air.

Jimin was lingering somewhere behind you but Jungkook was side by side with you again, the fabric of his large hoodie brushing against your long sleeve shirt every time he slightly swayed on his tired feet.

He slowed down when you approached the van and you turned your body to face him, ignoring the sound of the door slightly open and close like somebody was impatiently summoning you both to get back inside.

“It feels weird to go in there again.” He eventually whispered into the gap of silence you had produced and you continued to let it stew to see what else it would cause him to confess. “Like it’s time to go back now or maybe I never will, I can’t decide which is worse.”

You figured you could give him some dreamy answer about what you think this level of travel could do for him, an almost pretentious level of determination to make him understand arising in you. Your lips parted to do exactly that but you immediately pursed them and ignored the rain drop hitting your forehead.

“You can go home whenever you want.” You settled on after a few more landed and his face tightened at the answer, seemingly deciding which was worse as soon as the reality was actually presented to him. “Or uou don’t ever have to. Just tell us when.”

“What if it’s never?” He rushed out before you finished your last syllable and his eyebrows furrowed, head tilting back towards the extra dark stormy sky before he looked back at you again, wiping his face off with his sleeve as he did. “What if you guys decided to stop and I don’t, and I can’t?”

You’d heard the door open but it hadn’t shut again so you had a feeling anybody who was awake inside the van was currently listening to both his dilemma and your answers. You sighed softly and glanced around Jungkook’s frame towards the rest stop and its flickering bulb.

“As long as the van runs then so do we.” You eventually shrugged through the answer like it didn’t actually mean much of anything. “And probably even without it.”

“Definitely without it.” The voice from behind you didn’t surprise either of you, your head turning to see Hoseok and Namjoon sitting on the floor of the van, legs dangling out the open door and watching you both with differing expressions. The latter looked tired and understanding, with a nearly gentle smile that you were beyond familiar with.

Hoseok had been the one who spoke and he looked a bit more stern, determined and maybe slightly offended at your implication this ever had to end.

You’d debated about it before on particularly empty stretches of road, nearly argued a handful of times when the topic came up. You were realistic and knew that one day you would be in your thirty’s, in one place with one job and no more dreams of the unknown. This would be a distant memory of a fun filled few years that only stupid kids could get away with.

He seemed irritated at the thought of that, like he genuinely figured all of you would do this forever. And not just a portion of the group considering his obvious distaste when Namjoon had left for a week for his sister’s wedding or the month Taehyung disappeared with some girl in California.

Jungkook let his eyes go back to you like he had expected you to vocally disagree but instead you gave him a tight smile and headed back into the van.

He didn’t seem to hesitate before following you and then you were finally back on the road, fresh rainy air filling up the interior again and allowing you to catch your breath for a moment as everyone settled back into cushioned seats and the small twin mattress in the back of the van.

Two days passed as you travelled into Arizona and then up towards California, grateful it was a few months short of summer and you weren’t without air conditioning like you had been the last time you crossed these specific state borders. It had been a particularly tough week that left you all agreeing to avoid that side of the country for a while.

Jungkook seemed to be doing a lot better even though it didn’t take you long to realize his core personality was pretty shy regardless of being surrounded by loud strangers. He spent lots of his time during the day with Taehyung and Jimin, pushing past each other to get to the last stall of a restroom and laughing in the back of the van while all bumping heads to see the scratched screen of Taehyung’s little handheld game console.

His nights were mostly spent with you, not that you minded the company. You had a hard time sleeping at night, preferring quick naps during the day that eventually added up to enough rest to function.

Seokjin was a good conversationalist as he drove and he had told you before it helped keep him awake but he was quieter lately and you found yourself staying in the back of the van more often than you were climbing into the passenger seat.

Every day after sunset, you’d watch the younger boy hesitate and stare at his reflection in the window before scooting over to a seat near or across from you. You’d delve into mostly surface level topics, asking him for stories about how he grew up and his school life and never really returning the favor of confession.

Entering California always felt like a bit of a headache to you, not liking the smell of the ocean or the tilt of the voice most people here did at the end of their sentences.

It probably had something to do with the fact you grew up swimming in lake water and having a slight twang to your words that coupled up with a naturally friendly demeanor, another thing most people around here seemed to be missing.

So nobody was really surprised when you stopped at a small beach and you stayed back by the van, or rather on top of it. You had your journal resting on your thigh as you sat criss crossed, pen abandoned in favor of watching your friends splash and tackle each other in the water.

The sun was setting now so you managed to miss one of them leaving the waves behind in favor of approaching, only realizing somebody was around when you felt the shake of the van below you.

Jungkook’s head popped up infront of your knees and your eyebrow raised at the same time a small smile did. He looked at you for a second before he was flattening his palms against the top of the vehicle and pulling himself up with a surprising amount of ease.

He grunted a little as he landed on the roof before he was getting up and coming to sit beside you, legs outstretched infront of him and resting back on his elbows. You resumed looking at the water so you didn’t make him feel uncomfortable by staring in his direction and he seemed to be doing the same thing judging by the small laugh he let out when Taehyung dunked Yoongi under a wave.

“You don’t like to swim?” He eventually broke the silence, something he had been doing more and more lately.

Sometimes you’d give him an actual answer and he would give a pleased smile but mostly you met his inquiries with diversions and subject changing jokes.

“I love to swim.” You decided to be honest this time around considering how low stakes the question actually was and you turned your head to look at him and his wet hair, eyes trailing down his skin that was a few shades tanner than it was when you met him. “Just not like this.”

“Hoseok said you guys used to basically live in the lakes near your town.” He said softly and you realized he had already known the answer before he even brought it up.

“He said that?” You felt mild surprise that the two of them had been talking about something personal in general but even more so regarding the contents considering the older boy seemed determined to forget everything about your hometown that he possibly could.

Jungkook nodded his head and kept staring out at the water like he wanted to say more. You were almost glad he didn’t, not liking the way you felt an unfamiliar anxious itch under your skin of him knowing something about you before you could tell him, no matter how trivial.

You didn’t fault him for asking questions about the strangers he was currently states away from home with and you knew there was no genuine distaste forming but it was enough of a weird feeling to allow you to subdue the conversation.

He either didn’t notice your unusual silence or he didn’t mind because he stayed there like that as you finally continued writing in your journal, eventually laying down completely and facing the now dark blue sky instead of the ocean.

Nearly an hour passed like that before Taehyung and Jimin were also scaling the side of the van, wet bodies and bright smiles making you wince when Taehyung shook his hair and flung water drops all over your half blank pages. They excitedly invited you both over to the bar about a mile down the main beach street but you rejected their offer, Jungkook doing the same.

They barely seemed to care, too dazed from the sun and their fun evening to try and convince you. You let your journal close for the final time and you rolled onto your stomach, head resting on your folded arms and turned in his direction.

Jungkook similarly tilted his face to look at you, eyes squinting and curious about your staring. His eyebrow raised when you let the silence build and you almost laughed at his obvious eagerness.

“You don’t drink?” You finally kickstarted the conversation and he looked almost embarrassed for a second before shaking his head and glancing away. “Wait are you underaged?”

Now the embarrassment was gone and he was laughing softly as he turned onto his side and met your confused gaze.

“My birthday is next month. I’ll be 21.” He answered like it was well known information and honestly it might’ve been but you didn’t really think about it much once you had decided he was definitely visually over eighteen and you weren’t kidnapping a teenager.

“Twenty…. is ridiculous.” You said slowly and a smile had started to build during the pause, a full blown laugh leaving him again when you finished. “I’m twenty three.”

Jungkook looked like he wanted to tell you he already knew that but he must’ve realized that wasn’t the right thing to say so instead he squinted and smiled, rolling back onto his back so he didn’t have to stare at you directly anymore.

It didn’t take long before the others were also leaving the water and preparing to look for somewhere to stay for the night. You didn’t get off the roof until you could hear them all done bickering over who changes into dry clothes first and neither did Jungkook despite the fact he was still in his bathing suit. You imagined it was probably dry by now but the night air had brought a chilly bite to it that was making goosebumps spread across his arm.

You stared at the skin above his elbow for a second before your gaze went up to his face, his eyes already on you with a blank expression.

“Still feeling weird about getting back in the van?” Your voice was softer now that the others were around even though they had all heard the conversation at the rest stop.

“I feel weirder about stopping now.” He said just as quietly, a small smile not leaving his face like he hadn’t found all of this extremely nerve wracking just a few days ago.

It had taken you a much longer time to adjust to this lifestyle but you figured it had something to do with the same issue you were continuously having, the major difference between you and your friends.

You did not have a real reason to leave and there was things you had left behind those years ago.

Following after a group of runaways with actual problems, bad home lives or suffocating generational burdens that they were escaping from. The only thing you were escaping was the fear of being left behind, the terrifying reality of being stuck in your hometown while all of your closest friends went and saw the country together.

So of course Jungkook was having a much easier time and it made perfect sense that Hoseok tensed up whenever somewhere asked where he was from because they didn’t lay on those sleeping bags and think about how tall their sisters might have grown or if the family dog was still begging for scraps at Sunday dinner.

His skin was tanner and the bruise he had on his cheekbone at the gas station was barely visible, weight on his shoulders left behind in the ocean water like he had been baptized.

You didn’t answer him directly but you did nudge him and encourage him to get down and go get into some warmer clothes before he caught a cold.

This trip through California was taking a much longer time, the others mapping out a curving path through the state borders instead of just shooting past. It was common for you to do, it’s not like you ever had a specific deadline but for some reason you were feeling particularly antsy.

A week passed and you were somewhere in the middle of the large state, stopped at a gas station that was barely bigger than the size of the van. Your feet kicked up loose stone as you walked across the deserted street towards a wooden pole, praying internally that the phone booth actually worked.

It was rare and you were barely ever shocked when you got nothing but static or silence on the other line, most times not even finding a phone dangling from the receiver box.

This was one of the lucky times it was there and actually decently maintained, a low hum sounding in your ear when you picked it up. You dialed a familiar number and leaned against the dusty window, looking at the van across the dark road.

You could see the silhouettes of the boys moving around as they sat inside, the orange hued light making it appear extra homey from a distance.

“Sissy? Is that you?” You’d almost forgotten you had dialed anybody and you jumped when the high pitched voice was suddenly exclaiming in your ear.

“Hey bug.” You smiled as you relaxed back into the corner of the booth and fiddled with the metal chord attaching the phone. “Is mom around?”

There was some commotion on the other end and you listened fondly as the voices of both of your sisters overlapped each other, arguing over who got to talk to you first and whether or not they should actually give up any phone time with you to your mother.

You waited patiently, not daring to scold them and risk losing even a millisecond of the sound of them bickering. Eventually you could hear another voice and the clunking of the phone being pried away, a soft breath filling your ears that left you nearly deflating.

“Mama.” You weren’t asking but simply calling out, already knowing who it was just from her breathing. “Are you doing well?”

“Are you coming home soon my love?” She was responding as she ignored your question, the same opening line you always gave her.

It frustrated you but you didn’t press it, knowing she would tell you if she really felt like she needed to. She wasn’t going to go into detail about the things happening back home but you knew there was no lying amongst her silence.

The gap between your phone calls had been extra long this time and it was fully your fault. She always answered regardless of time of day, even the few times you’d forgotten about timezones and called her in the middle of the night. You had simply just forgotten to check in until you’d been abruptly reminded by the recent talks surrounding a particularly bright eyed boy.

“Yes mama. It’ll be soon.” Unlike your mother, you did lie but it was mostly harmless considering she knew it wasn’t true. You’d been telling her ‘soon’ for nearly two years now and she had stopped believing you a long time ago.

You talked for a few minutes, small conversations like you were just away at school and checking in for dinner. There was a figure crossing the road towards you and you knew it was time to go, wishing a goodnight to your sisters both individually so they didn’t argue and telling your mom you loved her.

Yoongi was waiting outside the booth when you finished, watching you as you hung up and kept a tight grip on the handle of the phone for a few seconds like you didn’t want to release it.

He didn’t make any move to walk away when you joined him back in the warm night air, a soft breeze making his bangs shift on his forehead. You just stood there together like he was waiting for you to find your footing, the sound of the trunk doors slamming making your eyes go back across the street towards the van.

“He hates when you do this.” Yoongi eventually said and you glanced at him to see he was also watching the group.

You hadn’t realized who had slammed the door but you knew now just based off of his statement that it must have been Hoseok. He had vocalized before that he found it unnecessary for you to be calling home so often, citing it as the reason you had such a hard time occasionally.

“Yeah well, he can hate it all he wants.” You mumbled back and you barely felt bad for how bitterly it came across, the topic becoming equally more reoccurring and increasingly draining the more you heard about it.

“It makes him feel like you’ve always got a foot out the door.” He was continuing on and you wanted to sigh and cross the street already.

You really hoped this wasn’t a planned conversation because you were starting to feel a little ambushed.

“He’s worried you’ll leave.”

“Well I won’t.” You said a bit louder than you had planned to. He finally fell silent at the sound of it and you were staring at him despite the fact he was still facing the gas station, avoiding looking at you for one reason or another. “And this helps me not do that okay? I get it Yoongi, trust me I do. Forgetting all about everything works for him but this is what works for me.”

You are wildly gesturing towards the phone booth as you speak about it and he finally spares you a glance, looking guilty even though you have a gnawing feeling he agrees with your other friend more than you.

He semi proves your theory correct when he simply nods and gestures back towards the boys, letting you take a deep breath before you match his stride and get back into the van.

Tonight you and Jungkook got selected to use the mattress in the back, typically picked through rock paper scissors or some other juvenile version of lottery. You didn’t really mind when you didn’t get it considering you had a rough time sleeping anyways but you were feeling irritated and the small privacy the sheet hanging around the bed offered was more than welcomed tonight.

It was a tiny twin, barely bigger than the sleeping bags on the floor but it was cushioned enough to ease some of the ache in your shoulders and you wasted no time before climbing into it.

Jungkook hesitated and you didn’t miss the fact he stayed up a bit later than usual, sitting and staring out the window like he was stalling having to squeeze in bed next to you.

You thought about telling him he didn’t have to and you could choose again if he was uncomfortable but then you considered the fact either Hoseok or Yoongi might be selected to share instead so you kept your mouth shut and scooted closer to the wall.

Eventually you could hear Namjoon snoring lightly and the sounds of Taehyung and Jimin giggling faded away, the sheets sliding open not long after as Jungkook’s awkward face came between them.

You rolled onto your back and raised an eyebrow at him, wordlessly patting the empty side of the bed to invite him in. He glanced over his shoulder and you were curious what he was looking at although forgotten when he sighed and climbed into bed.

He barely fit and there was no position that wouldn’t involve the two of you touching, something he eventually seemed to realize because he sighed and relaxed against the mattress on his stomach.

You were on your back and staring up at the dented metal roof, barely able to make out the photos of the group and random postcards that had been taped up there.

“You’re upset.” Jungkook had whispered a few minutes after he laid down and it was so quiet you barely caught it, turning your head to look at him. “Right?”

“Just a little.” You replied back and he opened his eyes when you rolled onto your side so you could face him and make it easier for him to hear your whispers. “I was feeling a bit weird about getting in the van.”

It may have been a recent conversation to call back to but you still felt relieved when you saw the understanding on his face. You didn’t want to have to explain what exactly that meant for you in the grand scheme of things so you just hoped he would get it.

“But you did.” He replied back softly and you nodded your head in agreement, eyeing him as he laid there with a gentle and exhausted expression. “Sometimes I write letters to my mom and leave them at random places. I don’t write an address but I tell myself they’ll get back to her eventually.”

His admission hit you extremely hard in the chest and you felt like you could barely swallow. The slight shift of his expression made you realize how obviously affected you must have looked so you sighed and rolled back so you were once again flat and facing the roof.

“Do you think it’s a bad thing that I call home?” You eventually asked him. You weren’t sure when you decided Jungkook was the expert on coping with a nomadic lifestyle but he could offer a fresh perspective and he seemed to be coping well enough. “Am I really making it worse for myself?”

He was quiet for a long time and you started to worry he had fallen asleep. The night air felt too fragile for you to simply turn your head and check so you just waited, planning to wait forever when you heard him suck in some air in preparation.

“You kind of talk about this like it’s a prison sentence.” He ended up saying and you suddenly wished he had fallen asleep.

A sting of pain went through you but not at the accusation, much more concerned about how truthful his statement had been. Not true in the way that meant you felt trapped, like you were serving a mandatory amount of time before you got to make your messy escape back to your full life. More true in your verbiage, the underlying tension building between you and Hoseok, some of the others.

“It’s not.” Was all you managed to tell Jungkook and it came out tight and unconvincing.

He hummed and you finally looked at him, his eyes half closed as he laid on his stomach with his arms folded as a pillow. You stared at him for long enough that you figured he could feel it but he seemed too tired to mind the fact you were studying his face.

There was a particularly boyish energy to him when he had his eyes closed and you found it fascinating to be this close to him. He had moles you didn’t notice before and a slight dryness to his lips like he had been building a habit of licking them.

His skin really had darkened a few shades and you wished for a moment he would open his eyes so you could see the shade of them a bit clearer but that would mean having to look away or explain why you were being so strange so you swallowed the thought and willed yourself to face the roof of the van again.

Drifting to sleep on the twin mattress was surprisingly easy and you ignored the disappointment you felt in your stomach when you woke up to find his side empty and cold.

——

Two weeks passed quickly and you figured you were somewhere in Montana but you had been napping right before you parked for the night and missed the welcome sign along the intersection.

A few glances at license plates as you walk down a nearly empty road confirms your suspicions, shifting the laundry basket in your hands and pointing one out to the boy next to you.

Seokjin nods and laughs although he had definitely not been asleep and knew exactly where you were but he finds you amusing, always seems to find you amusing actually no matter how boring or down right dreadful you are being. You chalked it up to him being an overall nice guy with a touch a business man charm in his DNA somewhere but you figured he would dislike hearing the second part.

Hands land next to yours on the basket handles and you turn your head to see Jungkook, unsure of when he had came up behind you or how he could be so silent on his feet. He takes the laundry from you silently and you let him, feeling the indents of the plastic sting your palms now that the pressure is relieved.

Seokjin tends to tag along when you are on laundry duty, reportedly to keep you company but you have a feeling it’s more so due to his particular dislike for mixing certain fabrics and colors. You’ve gotten a hang of the niche specifics by now but he still comes and glances over your shoulder every now and then.

There is nobody else in the warm building besides a worn looking mother and her young son who is going back and forth between tapping the empty vending machine and searching for coins along the floor. You watch fondly as Jungkook ‘accidentally’ drops a few quarters just out of convenient reach.

He catches your eye with a half smile when you both pretend to not notice the way the boy hurriedly picks them up and stuffs them in his pocket, looking smug like he had gotten away with a grand heist.

Jungkook is approaching you, leaning against the dryer that you are currently sat on. It has an overly shaky quality but your body weight is seemingly helping to keep its screws in long enough for your clothes to finish drying.

“Didn’t know you were so charitable.” You tell him and you didn’t realize the teasing tone of your voice until you started to speak, lips curled up in a smile as he returns it and shrugs his shoulders.

“I do what I can to give back.” He says back and it’s a little too proper like he is speaking to a journalist during an interview and you let out a laugh that makes Seokjin look up from his outdated magazine. “He’s a cute kid.”

Your eyes go over to the boy who is now showcasing the coins to his mom, pushing them in her direction until her tired features manage to show something similar to pride and undeniably love.

It’s a sweet exchange and would be a lot easier to digest if you weren’t thinking about the sound of your mothers voice on the phone those weeks ago and similarly, the fact you still catch Jungkook writing unsent letters to his own. You wonder for a moment what exactly he tells her when he sits scribbling at his notebook.

You wonder selfishly if he has written about you.

The bell above the entrance door chimes as it pushes open and your gaze flickers over in its direction just in time to catch a trio of guys giving Seokjin a nod of acknowledgment. He is sitting on the row of chairs against the display window with his magazines and doesn’t return the gesture but you know him well enough to know it’s due to awkwardness and not disrespect.

You and Jungkook do not get the same casual greeting nod and one of the boys downright glares at you, a mix of predatory and humorous. They must be younger than you, maybe the same age as Jungkook but clearly some sort of farm hands judging by their broad stature and the dust seemingly permanently etched into the denim of their jeans.

There is not too much of a concern on your part considering you are familiar with the type, similar expressions stemming from the frat boys you’d encountered in Los Angeles or the business students in Brooklyn.

Jungkook doesn’t seem as unbothered by their sudden presence, a rather loud one as they noisily drop their baskets and chatter obnoxiously about something sporty you don’t bother getting specifics on. The mother says something hushed to her son and he calms down a bit, sticking to their side of the laundry mat.

One of the boys sends a glance in your direction, nudging his thumb backwards as he mutters something you can’t make out. You figure it was either inappropriate or unkind because the other two burst into harsh laughter and you feel your stomach twist weirdly.

A random small town boy making fun of you definitely should not cause such a reaction inside your chest but it had been such a pleasant day before the jolt of insecurity he caused hit you.

Jungkook either notices the exchange or had decided something about them on his own because his body is shifting off the dryer and you feel a moment of panic, thinking he was going to cross the patterned floor over to them.

Instead he just moves himself and relocates between your knees, a hand on either side of your thighs and gripping the machine. His tensed body is turned towards you but his head is fully facing the trio and staring without any concern or shame.

You’ve shared that tiny mattress with Jungkook and lived in a space no bigger than the bathroom of this building but this somehow feels like the closest you’ve ever been to him.

It’s obvious his defensive staring is starting to agitate the boys but he doesn’t seem to care at all. You doubt it’ll escalate but you’re in a small town and the others are at the grocery store a few blocks away, leaving Jungkook severely outnumbered with only you and overly gentle Seokjin as his partners in attack.

“Hey.” Your voice was softer than it usually would be but he still had no reaction, not even blinking at the sound of it.

You sighed before you were reaching out and placing a hand on his bicep, half on his shirt sleeve and half below the hem of the fabric. Now his gaze snapped to you and you held his eyes for a moment before glancing over at the guys.

You were well aware of how intimate this could look to somebody else, him standing between your legs as you sat on the dryer and touched his arm gently. It was definitely past your normal amount of contact but there was a certain level of vulnerability and comfort that came with living together on the road.

“Relax. Just ignore it.” You spoke again now that his attention was on you and his chest deflated before tensing again.

“They’re being rude.” He said back and his tone was different than the one you were used to, notably tighter and a bit gruff. You wondered what was actually bothering him so much, if he had encountered these types of guys before back home or if he just had a natural temper you hadn’t been showcased before now.

Your hand curled on his arm, a light enough squeeze to keep his focus on you and not the continued chuckles of the boys. It was easy to figure they were probably further amused by the reaction they had managed to pull from Jungkook and it upset you to think they were now laughing at him.

“So are you.” Your voice whispered in response and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion when you gave him a soft smile. “Getting distracted during your interview.”

He falters before letting out a dry chuckle when he realizes you’re referencing back to the short lived bit about his charity work. It was a weak attempt to distract him but it seems to work considering his shoulders finally lose that sudden tension and he shifts closer to the dryer, the metal of his belt clanking against the side of it.

There’s no chance to reply because a thud next to you makes you both jump, eyes darting to see Seokjin had roughly tapped his magazine against the washer two machines down. His face is similar to the expression he had when he’s about to get car sick and your hand falls from Jungkook’s arm, suddenly remembering it was still there.

“After this load we have to head out.” He says in that familiar cool calm tone of his and you both nod like scolded children even though you hadn’t done anything.

Typically you would reply with a smart comment about how you don’t necessarily have to do anything because it’s not like you have a deadline but you decide against it and let him stick to his weirdly tight make believe schedule.

You all linger around for the next twenty minutes, ignoring the mumbled comments from the trio and waving goodbye to the little boy who had stolen your coins as he helps him mom by holding the laundry soap bottle. Then you load your clean clothes into a basket and make no attempt to carry it this time, slightly satisfied when Jungkook does as expected and immediately grabs it.

He walks slightly ahead of you as you go back to the van, your eyes scanning the graphic on the back of his shirt and only half watching your step on the weird gravel sidewalks.

“So we have a new laundry buddy?” Seokjin is beside you and you glance at him, eyes squinting against the sun and looking away when you see he is also staring at Jungkook’s back.

“I think he likes feeling helpful.” You comment with a shrug but you’re taken by how true that feels, not too sure when you had even realized that about him.

Seokjin doesn’t reply but you can hear him hum in the contemplative way he tends to so you let the conversation fade away before it even really begins.

The others are already waiting in the empty lot you had left the van in and you can hear the plastic grocery bags inside the van ruffling in a chorus as the wind blows through the open slider door. You linger for a second as you watch Jungkook put down the laundry, rolling his eyes when Taehyung strikes a mocking body builder pose in his direction.

Your feet are carrying you over to another before you can think about it and Hoseok only has time to make a quizzical face before you pull him in for a tight hug.

He first tenses and then his body practically melts as he returns it, arms wrapping around your middle and his head resting down against your shoulder. Neither of you want to voice the apology so nobody says anything but the intention of your gesture is obvious, telling him you don’t want to have this weird tension between you once you get back on the road.

Things feel better over the next few days and you’re feeling a bit lighter as you move throughout it. You’re agreeing to side quests more often and trying to remember why you are doing this in the first place, getting off the top of the van to join in on the fun like you used to.

You’re still having trouble sleeping but it’s been a recurring problem for months now so you’re not too bothered by the heaviness of your eyelids and the hours you spend staring at the dented metal roof.

“Hey.” A soft voice next to you stirs you out of the half conscious state you’re in, head lolling sideways to see who it is.

It must be far past midnight now because the van is silent other than the outside noises coming in from the cracked front windows and now the light whisper that unsurprisingly came from Jungkook. You could have figured he was also awake but normally you seemed to have a mutual agreement to not acknowledge the others restless state.

“Can I show you something?” His voice was below a murmur but it still felt too loud for how delicate the quiet of the small space was so you nodded your head and shifted so you could slide open the door without stepping on anyone.

You went out first but he followed behind you and then started to lead the way, up the road a ways but not far enough that you lost sight of the van.

Your eyebrows were furrowed in confusion as you walked but then they softened when you saw the small booth sitting on the corner of the road. He must’ve saw it earlier while exploring the area with Yoongi, something you missed out on while attempting to catch up on some sleep with a much needed nap.

The phone booth was so worn that the door had fallen off its hinges and was laying on its side in some tall grass beside it but you could hear a faint buzz from the phone dangling by its metal wire so you knew it must still be functioning.

Jungkook tapped your elbow and you turned to look at him, not even realizing he had stopped walking while you’d taken a few more steps towards the flickering light. He wordlessly handed you a quarter and you paused before giving him a soft smile and entering the booth.

He stood a distance away, giving you space as you dialed the familiar number.

“Are you coming home anytime soon?” Your mother’s voice was sounding through the phone before you even got a chance to greet her and your lips formed a frown as you tried to search for the answer of what time it was back home.

“You’re not sleeping mama?” You determined it must be late for her and it was confirmed when you heard her let out an exhausted sigh.

“Dad isn’t feeling too well and he’s having a hard time resting. I am keeping him company.” She replied in her typical soft and calm voice.

Your eyes went to Jungkook for some reason, wondering if what the two of you did could be considered ‘keeping each other company’. He was already looking at you but quickly averted his gaze to the starry sky like he hadn’t been so you did the same, staring at the graffiti on the scratched clear walls.

“But he’s okay?” You asked and she took a few seconds to respond. You knew your mother and knew she was looking for a way to answer you without lying but without giving too much information.

You had been trying to decide if she did this because she cared about you and wanted you to not worry about things you weren’t around to change or assist with, or if it was more likely that she didn’t give you any information because she felt that you needed to come home and gain the knowledge on your own.

“He is just not feeling well.” She repeated herself and you suddenly felt some regret over this entire situation.

You always admired her calm and collected demeanor especially since you always felt like such a wild card much to your own frustration at times. There was few times you had control over your emotions and even less you could manage your reactions but your mother was always gentle and always neutral.

She was hard to read in person and even more impossible over the phone.

“You’d tell me if I needed to be home right?” You asked and it felt like the heaviest thing you’ve said on a call like this. Typically you kept it light and casual but you were choosing to read between the lines of what she was saying.

The phone was giving off a small beep during her moment of silence, the first warning that you were going to run out of time. This would usually be the point where you’d say a quick goodbye and make a loose promise to call again soon but now you sent a slightly panicked look to Jungkook.

Luckily he was already watching you again and he understood your glance immediately, walking towards you while simultaneously digging around in his pocket.

He leaned against the broken door frame while he deposited another quarter into the machine and the beeping went away. You mouthed a thank you to him and he nodded, staying against the booth for one reason or another but you didn’t find yourself minding.

“Yes my love.” She eventually said but her voice took a weird tilt and your face fell. You went to object, to uncharacteristically pry her for information and ruin the weird uniform nature of your calls but she continued and stopped you from doing so. “I have to go run him a bath. We love you.”

“I love you.” You whispered back and there was a moment, one you could interpret as hesitance before the static droning was back and you slowly placed the phone back on its handle.

There was another brief pause and you were really starting to grow restless with the amount of them you were experiencing tonight.

Unlike Hoseok, Jungkook seemed to be expecting it when you pulled him in for a tight hug. Your arms went around his neck and his squeezed against your lower back, embracing for longer than what you probably needed to but neither of you being quick to pull away.

“Thank you.” You whispered and it came out slightly muffled from the way you were half shoved into the fabric of his sweater.

“All this for two quarters?” He said back teasingly and your body shook in his hold with a light laugh.

You pulled away but didn’t necessarily ass any distance and his hand cupped your elbow gently, staring down at you with lots more patience than you would expect from him. It was no shock to you that Jungkook was a nice boy, you hadn’t even slightly bickered since your first encountered and he was constantly showcasing his kind personality.

But this felt notably touching to you. He had remembered your phone calls and not considered them a problematic habit, seeing the booth earlier in the day and waiting for the others to fall asleep so you could have some privacy in the moment.

“I’ll keep my eye out for more okay?” His voice took a lower softer tone and you nodded your head, your hand moving to wrap around his.

You held them together as you walked backed to the van and you could feel him squeeze yours as you crossed the empty street. The driver side door of the van was ajar and your stomach twisted a bit before catching sight of two familiar figures slightly to the left of it, a tiny orange light letting you know Yoongi was indulging in one of his late night smoke breaks.

It was rare he smoked lately, going through enough weeks of complaints from the others to help him soothe his habit out of sheer annoyance.

Seokjin standing next to him surprised you considering he wasn’t the type to keep himself up late in general but especially when he was first on rotation for driving most mornings. You decided the concerning call drained too much energy from you so you gave Jungkook’s hand one more squeeze, waved goodnight to the other two who had tracked the motion with their eyes and climbed back into the van.

You laid down on a free sleeping bag but you could hear them mumbling from the open driver seat door and you were unable to ignore it.

At first it was just basic small talk, you think Jungkook was asking Yoongi when he had started smoking or maybe he was requesting a hit. Then it got quiet for a few minutes like they were trying to determine if anyone else was awake and listening in on their conversations.

“So.” Yoongis low tone started off and your head picked up with interest, straining to hear whatever was going to follow. “What’s up with that?”

You had no context for what he was referring to and you imagined he had gestured or pointed in some sort of way that made Jungkook understand because you heard his mouth click in realization.

“I mean shes… yeah shes great.” His soft voice answered and you had a split second of stupidity where you wondered who exactly he was talking about until you remembered you were quite literally the only girl around.

Your head fell back down against the floor and your entire body seemed to deflate against the ruffling sleeping bag. You almost wanted to slam a palm against your chest because it currently felt stuck between completely stopping and racing until it ripped through your rip cage.

Now this was something you hadn’t prepared for. Jungkook didn’t even say anything to imply he felt any certain way about you but you were more so thrown by the realization that you really wanted him too. Since when was that something you were thinking about? Maybe it was a bit more obvious than you had even realized I mean you were still feeling the warmth of his hand in yours surging up your arm.

You’re not sure what sort of non verbal exchange happened out there because suddenly it was silent for a few loaded seconds and then Yoongi scoffed a laugh.

“Oh dude I’m sorry.” Jungkook was saying and he sounded genuinely conflicted. Your eyebrows pinched in confused, not understanding what he could possibly be apologizing for. “Do you have feelings for her?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Seokjin’s voice felt particularly loud in the moment and you felt your stomach twist at the realization of what this conversation was really about. “She doesn’t see me like that.”

“Besides, we are all a little in love with Y/N.” There was enough laughter lacing his words for you to know Yoongi was only joking, trying to lighten the mood that had clearly darkened at the awkwardness Seokjin’s comment had brought upon them all.

But you knew that there was absolutely no humor in the confession your friend had halfway committed to making. There was no denial after Jungkook’s question and not even a slight chuckle after Yoongi’s deflection. You wished so badly you could just sit up and get a glimpse of the look on his face so you could understand better but instead you pushed your forehead into the floor rug and squeezed your eyes shut.

——

A few days passed and you decided pretending to be sick was your best course of action.

You stayed in the van whenever the rising heat allowed it and you napped more frequently although that mostly consisted of you staring at your sleeve as you picked the fabric off.

It wasn’t like the thought of one of the boys having feelings for you or each other was that far fetched and you really weren’t sure why it had bothered you so much. You definitely thought Namjoon was cute in high school and you were pretty positive Taehyung and Jimin had shared a few drunken kisses before, and of course there was whatever the thing you felt looking at Jungkook was.

You eventually decided that it didn’t necessarily bother you that Seokjin had feelings for you so you had no idea why it was affecting you like this.

Maybe because it seemed like something everyone else knew and you were brought back to that time in school where they all avoided your questions and disappeared instead of looping you in. Or maybe it was the rushed and genuine way Jungkook had apologized for… whatever it was he was saying sorry for.

Sorry for holding your hand or sorry for being the object of your affection? Did he realize how you felt about him before you did or was he feeling guilty for having similar thoughts?

It plagued you for nearly a week and you felt like it had been ages since you left the van or did anything actually human. Now you were dragging yourself into the chilly night air and stretching the best you could with your tight muscles.

“Feeling better?” Jimin had a softer tone than usual and you suddenly remembered you were apparently sick for the last few days. You nodded your head even though you started to feel guilty for lying.

Your van was parked at an actual campground for the next few days while Yoongi attempted to fix something that had gone wrong in the under body. You didn’t understand a word he had said but he assured you all it was minor and just better to fix now before it caused any serious issues.

So you were taking a rare extended pitstop somewhere in Wyoming where the trees were staggering in height and the air felt impossibly clear.

Beside the van was a small metal circle that could be used as a fire place and apparently some of the boys had gathered sticks and small logs from the surrounding forest because it was blazing heat and illuminating a few of their faces. You scrunched your nose and waved away some smoke although it didn’t help in the slightest.

You settled in a camping chair in the middle of Hoseok and Taehyung, locking eyes with Jungkook across from you behind the flames.

His expression didn’t change and he didn’t look embarrassed at being caught staring, his face a shade of orange as the fire danced around his features. He looked tired and you didn’t need to check your watch to know it was late in the night now.

Yoongi was under the van with a headlamp on, making annoyed noises and grunting out the name of a tool every few minutes for Namjoon to scramble and find. Your eyes scanned around the area for the final member of your group and you could just barely make Seokjin out in the dark, two campsites over and making hushed conversation with an older man with a large RV.

Clearly the extended stop had left him feeling a bit more social than normal and you quickly looked away as you remembered the conversation you had over heard.

About an hour of staring at the fire left your eyes shockingly stinging with exhaustion and you weren’t the only one letting out a yawn as you sat up in your chair.

The game of the night for the mattress selection was nose goes and you barely paid attention to the count down, somehow making it into the final two despite your indifference. You weren’t all that surprised to see Jungkook had won too, already familiar with his competitiveness and fast reflexes considering he was the one sleeping on the bed most nights these days.

Every once in a while you saw him hesitate during a game so he could purposely lose before giving you a soft smile as the older boys celebrated beating him.

Tonight he clearly had no intention of losing and he was quick to get on his feet to go and claim his spot on the bed. You waited a few minutes to determine if you were actually tired or if laying down would bring hours of restlessness but another extended yawn caused you to follow him inside the van, apologizing to Yoongi when you bumped his leg with your foot.

You could still hear him clanking around down there when you pulled back the sheet and stared down at Jungkook.

He was lying like a starfish, eyes already closed but clearly suppressing a smile and letting you know he was still awake. His body was on his side despite his left arm and leg being extended onto yours, his fingers dangling off the side considering how small the mattress was.

You sighed and plopped down anyways, resting your head on his bicep as a pillow and lying on your side facing away from him.

There was tension under your ear at the contact, clearly expecting you to tell him to move or push him away instesd of just lying on top of his limb. Then he relaxed and you let out a tired sigh that sounded far too loud and borderline dramatic in the empty van.

“What’s being going on with you?” His voice eventually filled the air and you frowned at the sound of it. “And don’t tell me you’ve been sick.”

“I am great.” You said back immediately and it came out through gritted teeth for some reason. You hadn’t even realized you were upset until your tone gave it away. “Isn’t that what you said?”

It clearly took him a few minutes to understand what you were talking about before he sighed and shifted his arm under you. You changed sides so you could face him and he looked half guilty and half conflicted once you finally did.

His free hand moved forward to brush some of your hair behind your ear and the gesture just made you frown deeper. He smelt like campfire smoke and you suddenly felt embarrassed, wanting to hide your face in the fabric of his hoodie.

“You heard all that?” He replied after some time and you nodded your head, not wanting to speak since you still hadn’t worked out what was making you feel so weird.

It definitely was starting to piece together in your head considering the way you were feeling laying on the tiny mattress with him right now. You were technically cuddling with his arm beneath you and your faces closer than usual and you wondered if he even realized how unlike you this was or if he assumed it was the same for all the other boys.

“Guess I got some competition.” He breathed out and for a moment the silence nearly burned you and then he smiled shyly and you understood what was happening.

Jungkook was either flirting with you or you had truly gone into some uncharted levels of delusional. His arm under you folded and his fingers ran through your hair in a way that silently gave the answer to your internal debate.

Your eyes stayed locked on his out of sheer stubbornness because you knew looking away would make you seem flustered and you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how true that really was.

“No.” You breathed out and his eyes shifted with something you didn’t catch. “No you don’t.”

Your hand moved to fidget with the strings of his hoodie, mindlessly tugging them and adjusting the size of each side just for an excuse to touch a part of him. He shifted so he was also laying on his side facing you, his arm still under your head.

It was silent for a while as you both stayed like that, his gentle gaze on your face while you avoided him at all cost and kept playing with his hoodie.

“Hey.” He eventually breathed out and now you couldn’t help it, eyes meeting his and locking on immediately. “I’m sorry for talking about you when you weren’t around.”

“You barely did.” You sighed a little and your hand abandoned his strings in favor of rubbing over the fabric on his shoulder. It was obvious why your mood was so sour, the implication that he hadn’t wrong you necessarily but your closest friends did. “Why did you apologize to him?”

You figured if this was any other person or point in your life you would have simply let that question eat away at you forever but this was Jungkook. Something about him, and his kind eyes, the familiar smell as he shifted in bed just made you feel like you could ask him anything.

“I feel connected to you guys. I feel lucky to be here.” He said quietly and it sounded irrelevant but you knew he was trying to articulate his way to a sufficient answer for you. “But me and hyung aren’t very close. It was awkward and he looked so upset.”

You stared at him as he talked and his own eyes danced around your entire face, pausing at each feature. You were reminded of your earlier proclamation that Jungkook liked being helpful and clearly that extended past assisting you with laundry.

He was a people pleaser in a few dozen small ways and the quick apology to try and make Seokjin feel better was added to that list. You felt stupid for being upset about it for so long and even worse for only now realizing how easy it was to simply ask him.

“Please tell me that’s not why you’ve been so upset.” He whispers and when you don’t answer, he sighs and moves forward so his nose bumps yours.

At first, you really think he’s going to kiss you.

But he simply rubs your noses together for a few seconds, back and forth like he is trying to tell you something. You close your eyes so you don’t have to look at him this close. A few minutes pass before he pulls back and looks at you again now that you’ve stopped squeezing your lids shut.

“Like a month into this..” You start off quietly and he grows still to hang onto your words. You are so quick to avoid his questions and attempts at getting to know you past surface level conversations so he clearly doesn’t want to spook you out of this confessional. “We met a boy who was probably a little younger than you. Same type of wide eyes, like you haven’t really seen much of anything good.”

You smile a bit fondly and you know he can’t really tell which set of eyes is causing the reaction.

“We got lost somewhere in Kentucky and he told us where to go, spent a few hours showing us around this tiny town and where to get the best food.” Your voice was quieter with every word like it was a secret. You’d never spoken about this out loud before and you weren’t sure what to say next. “Taehyung asked if he wanted to come along for a few days and his eyes lit up. He was so excited and asked us to pick him up at this motel he was living in apparently.”

You took a break and Jungkook lifted his free hand to rub your cheek, switching to your hair a few seconds after and nodding when you gave him a grateful look.

“We waited and waited, Taehyung didn’t want to leave but something didn’t feel right at all. So after a few hours, Namjoon banged on the door and Yoongi talked to the motel clerk. He couldn’t care less and pretty much handed over the key to his room without needing much identification or convincing.”

Now this was the part you needed to really stop and turn over on your back for. You couldn’t look at Jungkook anymore because he was clearly starting to understand where this was heading and he was getting that look on his face like he felt bad for you.

You let the silence hang for a moment and you felt comforted by the sound of the others chatting outside by the cracking fire. Good, they hadn’t heard you.

“I guess he had OD’ed. Hoseok was the one who went in there but Namjoon was right behind him and Taehyung rushed towards the door as soon as he heard them yelling.” You bit out the words and released a shaky breath. “I don’t think it was an accident but none of us ever could talk about it long enough to decide and we don’t go to Kentucky anymore.”

You finished off then but you hoped that cleared up a few things for Jungkook. Maybe now he understood why you guys had been so intense about him coming along, why you had all looked so nervous about stopping at his house and why sometimes the older boys stared at his wide eyed expression a bit too long.

There was a part of you that wanted to continue and explain that sometimes small things made you shut down for a few days. You would say you weren’t feeling well and they would all give you space despite knowing you were physically fine.

But you left it at that and you heard him let out a shaky breath, hoping he wasn’t feeling too burdened to respond.

“My mom died the week I met you guys.” He said into the still air and you felt your chest collapse, turning on your side immediately to face him.

He looked particularly young like this and you felt his grief meeting yours with a heavy warmth.

“That’s why I was such a dickhead and why I got into a van full of strangers after a ten minute conversation.” He laughed a little dryly and his face was tight. “And why I don’t have an address for my letters. They aren’t getting to her anyways.”

Your hand cupped his jaw and you shook your head the best you could in this position, feeling the muscle of his arm under you. “Yes they are.”

Your whispered words made him breathe funny for a second and then a warm tear hit your hand and your frowned formed instinctively. You shifted close enough that your nose could rub against his for a second before you wrapped your arm around him and fell into a hug.

He rolled onto his back so you were mostly on top of him and buried his face in your neck.

It didn’t take long to fall asleep like that and you could feel his breathing even out beneath you right before your own.

——

There was a shift in your dynamic almost immediately the next morning and you weren’t sure Jungkook even noticed he was doing it.

He seemed unable to keep himself away from you, getting this uncomfortable look on his face whenever you had some distance. His hands kept finding your sides or brushing against your own fingers and you tried to keep your breathing steady to not give away how much it was affecting you.

Especially since he almost acted like he was unaware he was behaving any differently, despite the looks the others were sending your direction. Either from the new additions to your friendship or because the way they’d found you tangled up together that morning.

“Hey.” He appeared right as you were thinking about him although that seemed to be a pretty constant thing lately.

You were laying down on the top of the van with a book you could barely focus on, even less now that he was pulling himself up with his palms flat on the roof and coming to sit next to you. He leaned close enough that he could look at the pages and you felt his breath against your cheek, the warmth of his shoulder pressing into yours.

“Romance?” His voice was soft and curious like there was actual importance in the genre you read.

“It’s Yoongis.” You answered with a shrug and you glanced at him when he didn’t respond, seeing his skeptical eyebrow raise and amused grin. “I’m serious. He’s a real lover boy.”

Jungkook laughed a little and it sounded so smooth that you couldn’t help yourself, leaning forward the tiny amount of distance between your noses and rubbing them together for a second. He smiled more at the gesture before sitting up a bit straighter and giving you some room to breathe.

“Wanna do some laundry?” He practically whispered and you nodded as you closed your book.

“Wheres Seokjin?” You stood to your feet after him, his big hands wrapping around yours to pull you up.

“Napping.” Jungkook shrugged and you paused for a beat. You knew that laundry was something Seokjin normally tagged along for and Jungkook was clearly aware of this also so it felt intentional that he wasn’t planning to have him join.

Things had been silently tense since you’d been back on the road but maybe in a way only you noticed. Yoongi had fixed the van and you were passing through the state before long without much interruption but you could see the tension in Jungkook’s shoulders when Seokjin spoke and the elders weighted gaze on any point of contact between the two of you wasn’t lost either.

You figured neither of the boys realized they were acting any differently and maybe the others hadn’t either although you did notice Namjoon looking a bit more watchful these days.

The walk to the laundry mat was mostly silent with Jungkook holding the baskets and you cradling a jar of quarters against your chest. He spoke in a soft voice every few minutes to point something out to you and you’d laugh and play the part of being overly interested to keep him going.

His newfound habit of keeping close to you was more apparent when you were trying to get something done, constantly bumping into him and nearly tripping over his feet because of how close he was standing behind you every single time you paused.

“Jungkook.” You laughed a little as you turned to face him, grabbing his forearms and keeping him barely arms length away from you. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he tried to step closer automatically. “You’re driving me crazy.”

This made him visibly falter and his face fell a little at your comment. You felt a bit guilty but he was following you around like a lost puppy and you were already living with an extreme lack of personal space as is.

“How about you go and finish the second load and then we can relax.” You suggested in a softer tone but he still seemed a bit dejected and the look on his face was making you want to take it back.

You touched his cheek enough to steady him and rubbed your nose against his which seemed to make him feel good enough to do as you said, giving you one more wanting look before he was crossing to the bigger washers on the other side of the building.

He was back in a few short minutes and looked a lot more embarrassed now that he had most likely rethought his recent behavior.

“Sorry about that.” He mumbled as he approached but you immediately shook your head at the apology. “Guess I’m a bit more touched starved than I realized.”

“Don’t apologize. I was mostly just teasing you.” You breathed back, touching his arm and giving him the silent go ahead to come closer and not be so awkward after that.

He read the permission easily because he was practically against your side again and when you went to hop up on the dryer, his hands found your hips and easily lifted you.

This time when he stood between your knees, there was a different energy in the darkening building. The sun was setting outside the windows and you didn’t have to pretend to not be staring at his features up close this time, whatever had shifted feeling even more prominent like this.

“This is probably the first time we’ve been alone.” He points out and your head cocks at the observation.

He’s not necessarily wrong. Sure, you’ve had a handful of nights in the van before the others join or those few minutes at the phone booth but never anything like this. There was nobody just across the street or sleeping below you while you talked in hushed voices on the roof, only you and him in whatever city you had ended up in this time.

You hummed in agreement and his gaze locked onto your face intently, scanning over your features.

You’re not sure why you expected Jungkook to be shy about this type of thing considering how carelessly open he was with his affection so far. Maybe because he was younger than you or because he came from a town so minuscule you were convinced his graduating class had to be barely a solid dozen.

Whatever the reason was, you certainly weren’t expecting him to kiss you so easily.

The first press of his lips made you freeze up, solely because the feeling was so foreign to you after all this time. He pulled back just enough for you to see he had that dejected expression on his face again so you quickly got over your surprised based hesitance and kissed him again.

Jungkook certainly did not kiss like the inexperienced small town boy you had stereotyped him as, big hand cradling your face as he pushed his body up against the dryer to get as close as he possibly could to you.

Your mouths moved together slowly but it was not lacking any heat and you could feel your stomach twisting in that delightfully needy way you had forgotten all about.

His tongue smoothed across your bottom lip right when you thought the kiss was about to end and you didn’t waste even a second, automatically opening up for him and tangling your tongue with his. This addition seemed to add a whole new element because he was using his free hand to wrap around your back and tug you to the very edge of the machine.

Now you could really feel him standing between your legs and your hands went to his shoulders to steady yourself as you made out desperately, a new urgency and want building up and making you lose all sense of awareness.

Jungkook made a small noise into your mouth as your tongues moved together and you tilted your head to make sure you could swallow it.

Eventually he decided you needed to both breathe because he pulled away, your chest heaving as you panted and tried to bring some oxygen back to your brain. He pecked your mouth a few times during this but stopped to rub your noses together and take a tiny step backwards like he was passing the ball over to your side of the court.

“That okay?” He said softly when he realized you weren’t necessarily in the state to receive it and you nodded your head absentmindedly, a bit dazed from the whole thing.

You still had your hands on his shoulders and you rubbed soothingly, letting one move up his neck and tangle in his hair so you could pull him forward again.

This kiss was a lot softer and didn’t make your world spin nearly as much, almost shy and only lasting a few seconds before you pulled back.

“More than okay.”

——

This seemed to start a whole new addiction in Jungkook and you couldn’t even find it in yourself to pretend you didn’t feel the same way.

It was equally exhilarating and frustrating to sneak kisses with him, either pecks when nobody seemed to be paying attention or the rare heated make out session whenever you got a handful of minutes alone.

You certainly weren’t cursing the lack of privacy for the first time but it had been a while since you felt like the other boys were breathing down your neck, nearly itchy from how much their presence bothered you sometimes. There was a few weeks you’d felt like this before without the addition of Jungkook but it always passed eventually after you spent some time reflecting on the pros that came with the cons.

You felt a bit guilty for how much you were feeling it lately considering nobody was doing anything wrong but there was only so much you could take. Yoongi seemed to walk in every time you took a step closer to Jungkook and Namjoon had been on a winning streak for the mattress lately.

Not to mention Jimin and Taehyung recently decided they wanted to join in on laundry duty although they spent most the time messing with the clerk or shaking the old vending machines.

Tonight was one of the rare times you got to have him all to yourself and you almost felt embarrassed by how excited you felt. He was bringing out this girlish giddiness inside of you that you didn’t even know existed.

Hoseok had heard from a local that there was a particularly life changing meteor shower tonight and in true nomadic fashion, all the boys decided they needed to hike the most manageable mountain for the best view. It wasn’t really your thing in general so they weren’t too shocked you decided to stick back.

Convincing them active adventurous Jungkook didn’t want to go was a whole different issue but some casual explaining that he didn’t feel comfortable leaving you in the van alone for almost the entire night eased most confusion.

There was a split second where it looked like Seokjin was going to volunteer to stay instead but things had still felt weird between the two of you and regardless if it was due to that or something else, he didn’t speak up.

Jungkook had barely let the van doors shut, voices fading off into the dark night as the boys walked, before he was on you. You giggled into his mouth, a sound you didn’t even know you could produce, and he half picked you up as he moved you both over to the tiny mattress.

For once you really appreciated the small thing as he laid you down on it, his body immediately following as he hovered over you and kissed you deeply.

Your mouths moved together sensually as your hands rubbed over his biceps and shoulder blades, never getting to feel him in this position before. It was overly intimate to have him holding himself up on top of you, weight of his body pressing down every once in a while and really reminding you of what you were doing.

“Fuck I could kiss you forever.” He groaned out against your lips and you opened your eyes to look at him, brushing the hair back out of his face and watching as it immediately fell right back down.

“A few hours will have to do.” You smile back, his eyes rolling at the reminder you didn’t have much time together.

“I love those guys but I’m going crazy.” He whispered softly and you nearly shuddered when he pressed a slow kiss to your jaw, the noise particularly loud and sensual in the quiet van.

“I just can’t believe they haven’t realized.” You mused, tilting your head so he had as much access to your neck as he wanted. He took advantage of the movement, kissing down your warm skin and lingering in spots that made you breathe harder. “You look at me like you’re starving half the time.”

He laughed lowly at that and it sent you down a near spiral. You were still getting used to the difference between Jungkook during the casual times of day and Jungkook when you were alone together. The boyish charm and goofy mannerisms were nowhere to be found the second you got the opportunity to be like this, a certain maturity overcoming him that made you shudder.

His mouth left your neck and was back on yours, tongue making its heated appearance and bringing a pleased sound out of you. You felt his big hand run down your side, stopping at the back of your thigh and adjusting your body until your leg was wrapped around his waist and he could slot down against you.

“I am starving.” He rasped out into the kiss and you’d almost forgotten what you had said, so lost in the taste and feel of him to register the fact he was responding.

“Jungkook.” You breathed out and you could quite literally feel him smiling which almost made you fully lose it.

You didn’t have anything specific to ask him for but the call of his name was clear enough and he was eager to give you whatever it was that you wanted. His mouth was hot and wet while his hands started to move in any and all directions, smoothing over your ribs to cup your chest and then back down to adjust your thigh and keep you pressed against him.

The pace wasn’t slow but it was still somehow maddening and you felt like you could never get enough time with him like this.

There was no amount of minutes, no amount of skin against skin that could ever slightly satisfy that nearly debilitating itch to be sought after by Jungkook. You were pinned between mountains and pinned beneath the weight of his body all the same.

Hours would’ve been too short but apparently that was a greedy thought because the sound of the van door sliding open made you both tense and jump. Jungkook had been halfway aware of closing the privacy curtain but it wasn’t enough clearly considering the startled noise Namjoon let out.

You looked over Jungkook’s bicep just in time to see a few more varying degrees of confused faces before the door was slamming shut roughly.

For a second you didn’t understand who had shut it with such aggression until you realized the weight had been lifted and Jungkook was sitting on the edge of the bed. The muscles in his back were hard and tensed, pulling a sigh from you as you sat up.

“Relax.” You say softly and it barely even sounds like you. Your hand rubs his back for a moment and he has this weird look on his face like he’s torn between being embarrassed and extremely frustrated. “I’ll go talk to them.”

He goes to interject but you’re moving off the bed and sliding the door open and shut before he can, distantly hearing a groan from him as he presumably throws himself back against the mattress.

The boys are standing almost exactly how you assumed you would find them, awkward and stiff like a bunch of children preparing to be scolded. Taehyung looks mildly amused and Seokjin looks like he’s about to get car sick just standing in the parking lot.

“Well.” Your tone is flat and stiff and it nearly makes Jimin laugh. “What could you possibly have forgotten?”

“Hey don’t act like we are in the wrong here.” Namjoon sounds slightly bewildered, eyes a little wider than normal and his hands on his hips. “I didn’t necessarily expect to find you tonguing down our newest recruit.”

Your eyebrows furrow and your nose scrunches at the descriptive words he used, not getting any time to correct how gross that sounds before Yoongi is scoffing.

“I did.” He says casually and he follows it with a shrug when you send him a glare. “What? You weren’t exactly subtle.”

“I beg to differ.” Taehyung interjects, hand in the air like you’re having an actual debate about this subject. “I am genuinely shocked.”

You groan and bury your face in your hands for a long moment, feeling the weight of their stares. The van door slides open and you don’t hear it close again, picking your head up to look over your shoulder at Jungkook who is now sitting on the floor of the vehicle and letting his feet graze the cement of the lot below it.

Theres a second where you think he’s still as weirdly tense as he was initially and then he sighs.

“For the record, I’m sorry for lying about the hike.” He says simply and it’s like all the boys suddenly remember that part of the situation because all their voices begin to overlap as they scold and tease him for ditching the shooting stars under false pretenses.

Only Seokjin stays quiet and while it’s normal for him not to get involved in the others boyish antics, his gaze is heavy when it lands on you and you hold it for as long as you can before you start to feel weird.

For some reason you think he must know you had overheard what he said a few states ago when he assumed you were sleeping. You aren’t sure where the thought comes from but you’re hit with the feeling that it’s true. He’s a smart guy and he must have atleast realized something was different.

“This is good fun and all but let’s keep the PDA to a minimum.” Hoseok finally interjects and the noise quiets down. “I don’t want to see you two making out.”

“I do.” Taehyung raises his hand again and this time Jimin tugs it down before sending a sharp elbow into his ribs. He groans and goes to sit by Jungkook who lightly shoves him over as a secondary blow.

Apparently someone had forgotten to charge the electronic lanterns (you keep quiet knowing it was probably you the other night when you took an extra long accidental detour to the bathrooms) so the boys abandon their plans of a hike and restart the fire from the well used pit.

You figured you would be annoyed that they had came back and interrupted your time with Jungkook, embarrassing you both in the process. Instead you find yourself laughing along with them and feeling a familiar lightness in the air you hadn’t been able to grasp lately.

Theres a few teasing glances when Jungkook pulls his chair next to yours and a murmured comment or two when you end up holding hands but you start to think it’s not the worst case scenario that you were caught so early on.

You’re sure the stars ended up being beautiful but you forget to look up in search for them at all, far too busy with whats on the ground around you.

——

Two weeks pass by in a blur and that feeling you had found at the fire didn’t fade. You are sitting comfortably in nostalgia for your starting days on the road and excitement for whats to come, a second wind of sorts when it comes to your passion for traveling.

Or more accurately your love for the people you’re traveling with as you start to feel the lines of your relationship tightening again.

You’re more content than you had been for the entirety of the year before and having a large ridiculous boy clinging to you every sunset definitely was helping out a bit.

Jungkook had been quick to inform you that he believed the honeymoon phase was a state of mind and had no end when it came to him. You had rolled your eyes at him, still working on being kind to him when he was sweet instead of instinctively calling him cheesy or shying away from compliments.

He brought you rocks from every lake beach you passed and you ignored Yoongi mumbling to you that penguins proposed like that. He spent hours laying his head on your lap as you read you things from his journal or sketched you and the others on blank pages.

He kissed you goodnight and kissed you good morning, kissed you when he caught your eye or when you had been quiet for a second too long.

Jungkook was warmth and familiarity, blending perfectly into this life style that had been foreign to both of you in different ways. He had lacked experience in the world and with people and you had been almost everywhere but couldn’t find yourself processing the moments and their precious nature.

He talked to anyone he could possibly spend a moment with these days, sweet voiced to the older waitress in between coffees and extra chirpy with the teenage gas station workers who looked just as tired in their uniforms as he had. It felt like years ago he had gotten in that van with you and the days were starting to blend together into one big puzzle of sunset and lake dried hair.

You even started going on laundry runs with Seokjin again, Jungkook’s suggestion. The conversation ran short sometimes and downright awkward almost constantly but it was a step in the right direction.

Currently you were laying down on the roof with Jungkook, the others below somewhere making a soothing amount of noise. You could hear Yoongi and Namjoon talking about something too intelligent for you to fully grasp onto, Jimin and Taehyung bickering over the rules of a game with Seokjin softly interjecting with helpful suggestions.

You could actually see Hoseok whenever you sat up to stretch, a few feet away from the van taking a nap in a hammock he fastened to some sturdy small trees.

Jungkook had his shirt off, lying flat on his stomach and resting his head in his crossed arms. His eyes were closed but you knew he was awake because the way he was breathing and the twitch of his nose ever so often. You had been resting your head on his warm back but now you were just sitting there and staring at him, mapping out the freckles and the small patches of peeling skin from the sun.

You leaned forward to kiss his tanned shoulder and it was a very Jungkook thing to do. His influence on you had become increasingly obvious. Small nature gifts being given to him casually like it didn’t matter to you, like you hadn’t spent twenty minutes finding the perfect colored leaf or little notes left in between random pages of his journal.

His eyes fluttered open and he gave you a soft tired smile when he saw you were watching him so fondly.

It was quiet for a while before he sighed and rolled over onto his back. You selfishly let your gaze run up and down his exposed torso, hands twitching in your lap with the want to touch.

You knew he would allow you, probably would beg you in all honesty but obsession was a problem you were familiar with so you withheld and just let yourself stare.

“Hey.” His voice was a gentle low whisper and you torn your eyes away from the small trail of dark hair leading down past the waistband of his weathered jeans. His gaze was knowing and curious but you could tell there was something else he was thinking about besides your obvious visual desire. “Call your mom tonight?”

Your head cocked at him. It had been a few weeks since you had gotten ahold of her and a few entire days where you had forgotten about her at all. It was a terrible thought to have especially with Jungkook in your line of vision.

There had been plenty of conversations about his mom since the initial one where you shared your grief. You had held him as he shook and cried about the loss, possibly letting himself feel it for the first time. He let you kiss the tears away and you pretended to not see when he left pieces of paper at random stops.

“Just have a feeling you should.” He whispered back to your curious gaze and you knew you couldn’t argue with that.

It wasn’t particularly easy to find a pay phone and you didn’t end up anywhere with one in sight until it was dark outside and Seokjin couldn’t drive anymore.

You stopped at a rest stop and you knew it would have one inside, getting your shower things and waiting for Jungkook to do the same before heading inside.

You had added showering together as a part of your routine, not without a few overly boy like comments from your friends. Surprisingly, it was one of the most innocent things you did despite the obvious fact you had to be naked in a shared space.

There was nonstop heat between the two of you, every locked gaze felt like foreplay and you could barely breathe whenever his hand skimmed over your stomach or your waist but there was something sweet about showering with him.

Sure there was a fair share of heated make out sessions, tongues tangling and hands touching places you hadn’t even explored yourself in a long time. He would press you against the cold tile and kiss you like he was trying to swallow you whole, occasionally slipping his fingers inside your wet heat if you were somewhere you could be quiet enough.

Jungkook still had the mesmerizing switch in him that you never got used to. He could joke with Taehyung about some old show the entire walk to the stalls and then press his hand over your mouth roughly as he made you come undone silently.

The things he would say in your ear were nothing like the sweet nothings he whispered during a quiet morning.

For the most part though, it was an innocent domestic exchange. He bent down low enough for you to wash his hair gently and he kissed your shoulder as he rubbed soap off your stomach and ribs.

After you finished, you sat on the counter as he ran a towel through your hair and you managed to spend a few minutes giggling into kisses before Yoongi demanded you hurry up and let someone else use the private shower room.

Normally you’d ignore him and soak in the rare alone time but you remembered your task with the pay phone.

Jungkook stood beside you as it rang and the line connected after only two, quick and enough to make your heart lurch.

“Dad’s sick.” Your mother’s voice was as soft and calm as always but you knew it must be bad if she was mentioning it immediately like this.

You thought about the last time you had spoken and how she had brought it up casually like it was a regular cold and you felt nauseous. What if you hadn’t called in time? How scary it must be for your mother to have such important information without any way to give it to you.

She just had to wait and wait and hope you would remember her existence before it was too late.

You must have looked upset or dizzy because Jungkook had his large hands wrapping around your middle from behind, half hugging and half supporting your body weight.

The words escaped you so you did as you always did and assured her you would be home soon, this time without the knowledge it was a lie sitting between the promise.

——

The others had taken your decision well, understanding the circumstances and giving you teary eyed hugs when they brought you to the train station. Hoseok had looked stiff and more weary but you spent extra long assuring him this was only temporary.

If you had went home for some reason a few months ago then you might have ended up staying, finding some peace in the old boring life you used to live. But now you felt differently and you knew there was nothing that would stop you from meeting back up with them as soon as the situation allowed it.

They were less accepting of the fact Jungkook was coming with you.

You hadn’t asked him to but he had been insistent that he couldn’t let you go alone and you weren’t able to imagine any time spent without him now anyways. The thought of being back in your hometown where he didn’t even existence while he was somewhere you couldn’t pinpoint made you feel sick to your stomach so you hastily agreed with his request.

Pulling out of the station made the dizziness hit hard and you had to bury your face into Jungkook’s neck when Jimin and Taehyung started chasing the train as far as the platform stretched.

It was the quietest week of your life.

Your sisters and mom adored Jungkook and were beyond shocked when they opened the door to the sight of you and a guest. He turned almost shy when he introduced him and your mom gave you a heavy loving gaze when she caught the two of you holding hands at dinner.

Visiting your father in the hospital was nightmarish, his pale skin highlighting the weight he had lost. He was feeling well enough to tease you about bringing home a stray dog and to give Jungkook some light hearted warnings about kicking his ass if he did anything to hurt you.

He humored him despite all of you knowing he wouldn’t be leaving the hospital bed for a long time and you caught them mumbling to eachother on some of the nights you stayed extra long and they assumed you fell asleep on the visiting couch.

It was strange to create a new reality of your hometown with this wonder of a boy inside it. You saw the drab downtown and old shops through a new light as you showed him around and you could appreciate the simplicity more than you had when he was holding your hand.

But there was a longing in your chest and you know he felt it too.

You’d lay in your childhood bed together and miss the sounds of the others attempting to whisper, Namjoon snoring and Hoseok strumming that guitar he swore he would eventually learn.

It was on the fifth day of being home, reliving your past with your future sleeping beside you each night, that Jungkook whispered his latest hopeless romantic confession into the fabric of your pillow case.

“My love for you would make any life worth living. It would all be an adventure to me if you were there.” He sounded half tired and half delirious and you wanted to respond with something, regardless if it ended up being teasing or genuine but you felt like you couldn’t speak.

You wondered why he felt the need to reassure this, maybe assuming you were having second thoughts about leaving your family again.

“I wanna go home.” You said eventually and it took you so long you thought he had fallen asleep before you got it. He shifted though, picking his head up and kissing your cheek softly before rubbing your noses together. “I love you here too. But I want to go home.”

You both knew what you meant when you used that word. It was a home unlike the traditional image of the word, a home with no address and no structure other than the hands that drove it and kept it running. Your home had peeling stickers stuck to the metal like glow in the dark stars and initials carved into various places on the exterior paint.

It had a dent on the roof where you and your lover laid and dirt from nearly every state in the country on the tires.

There was a pile of gifted rocks tucked under some books on your favorite spot to sit and missing pieces of various games lost under seat covers. There was love and personality pouring from every inch of your home and you were incredibly sick with the knowledge it was far away.

You kissed Jungkook goodnight just to get a taste of it. He seemed to be coated in the sunsets and the freedom that you were offered on the open roads, his skin always warm like he had spent the day at the lake and his smile bright with adventure. He kissed you back and you weren’t sure what he tasted in you but you hoped he never got sick of it.

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs