My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
Hello, my name is Heidi Ramsay and this is my favourite book to ever exist. This is my fifth time reading it and every single time I go into it, I feel that same shock, admiration and emotional pull all over again. It is an extremely important and painfully real story. There is a line that always hits me the hardest: “Vanessa, you didn’t ask for that. You were just trying to go to school.”
The structure of the novel is one of the reasons it stands out so much. Moving between Vanessa’s mind at different stages of her life, including when the grooming is happening and later when she is older and looking back on everything, makes the entire story even more powerful and absorbing. It is uncomfortable, it is raw, and it is told in a way that never once shies away from the truth. When we hear from Vanessa at fifteen, I always picture myself at that age. That is how rawly the story is written and how deeply it sinks in.
Vanessa is probably my favourite book character of all time. She is strong, intelligent and so vividly drawn that she feels real. Grace Gummer does the most extraordinary job narrating her. She morphs completely into Vanessa, giving the audiobook its own sort of magic. The emotional landscape, the dissociation, the power imbalance, the manipulation, the gaslighting, the emotional abuse and the bullying are portrayed with such accuracy that it breaks my heart how many people fail her throughout.
This is the book I wish I had written. It holds such a special place in my heart and I will always be thankful to Kate Elizabeth Russell for telling this story in a way that made me feel seen. There is a moment where Vanessa says to Henry, “you know how sometimes there’s a book that’s yours?” and that is exactly how I feel about this one. It is mine in a way I cannot fully describe.
It is beautifully and flawlessly written. Powerful. Moving. Emotional. Phenomenal. Truly one in a million. A book that stays with you long after the last page. Every time I finish it I want to go straight back to the beginning. I want this book injected into my veins. I will forever recommend it, although it is not for everyone due to the nature of the subject matter, so please check trigger warnings before reading.
I could write an essay on this book. It is a masterpiece. Incredible.
@authored-evidence thank you.
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