He is mindful that we are but dust...

My name is Toni. It's not a boy's name because it's spelled with an 'i'. I'm 24. I love writing backwards and watching movies that have hardly any white people in them...but not because I don't like white people. I adore my dog, Sneakers. She's the cutest Shih Tzu, Bichon mix ever. And, most importantly, I love Jesus! This blog will probably seem like a lot of rambling to some of you...and that's because it will be a lot of rambling. I'm just figuring life out. Life with God. Life with people. Life, in general. There's a lot to think/write about. Come ramble with me.

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I'll continue to worship.

Written on: September 4th, 2012 at 11:44 p.m. ------------------------------------------------- So, here I am. It's real now. I packed all my stuff. I got on a plane. I traveled for 4 days. And now I am in Germany. I am living in a Castle and making new friends. My life is so good right now. The Lord has blessed me. So, what's my problem? I am happy in every single sphere of my life except the one that matters most. I feel...disconnected, shut-off, blank towards God. I'm not sad, I'm not mad, I'm not depressed. I'm nothing. I see those around me feeling movements of God's Spirit and enjoying His presence and I desire that, but I can't seem to get to Him. I continue to worship. There is some kind of invisible wall there. I can see people enjoying His glory and I can hear people enjoying His glory but I can't seem to touch His glory. I continue to worship. He moves my heart towards the breakthroughs of others and I feel joy when my leaders and teachers speak truth. I can't help but smile when I feel the vibrations of the floor when everyone is worshipping the Lord in song and dance. I am not sure what it is that I am feeling. I continue to worship. I do know that feelings are deceitful and the devil is a master of lies. I know God did not bring me here to leave me empty. He brought me here for great things. I continue to worship. Tonight, during a worhip session at one of the leaders' houses, a girl turned to me and told me that she felt God wanted me to "let go of whatever I am holding onto". I don't know what I am holding onto though. I feel ready. But there is something, I'll admit. I'll continue to worship. I know this is disappointing to you. There are some amazing things to be said though...such as, I learned today that we will be turning an entire building on the base into one giant canvas as a way of preaching God's Good News and to show the world what is really happening in this small area of Germany...and around the world. We will all come together, writers, musicians, photographers, graphic designers, dancers, fine artists, hand-crafters and videographers, in order to move peoples' hearts towards Christ. That is amazing. God will change the world through the gifts He's given us. We have an awesome speaker for the next two weeks. Her name is Donna Jordan and she is speaking to us about hearing the voice of God. It has only been two days and it's already amazing! There is hope here. Our Father is here. We are together here. I could really use your prayers right now. I need this wall broken down. The Lord has spoken two things to me today. Earlier He said, "wait" and later He said, "let go". I have no idea how long to wait and I couldn't tell you what He wants me to let go of. Please, if you've made it this far, would you please say a prayer for me? Please pray that God would shatter the barrier between His Spirit and mine and that we would flourish in intimacy, that my love and desire for Him would grow with every breath that I breathe and that He would lay Himself so heavily upon my heart that I would have no other choice but to be in constant awe and worship of His holy Name. If you feel a specific call to pray for anything else, please do! I need every single prayer! Please. And thank you. I meant to send out so many thank you's before I left! They are coming! They will be sent from Germany! Awesome, right!? I am so sorry that I am so terribly late but THANK YOU TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WHO BELIEVED IN GOD'S CALL ON MY LIFE. I was struck today during worship at how amazing it is that you would each give of yourselves so that I can come to Germany and other nations to grow closer to the Lord and follow His will for my life. Wow. Humbled. I love you all. I am praying for you.

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I find Him in these moments...

Yesterday, I saw an old school bus that appeared to have been painted in some sort of a grayish green color by the nozzle of a hand held spray can. It was completely packed full of stuff...on the outside and on the inside. The rear end of the bus held a tangled mess of metal which my eye could hardly unwind except for to see that at the very tip top sat at least two or three bicycles. The license plate told me that they were from Kansas. I don't think I know anyone from Kansas. As my car stealthily crept alongside the bus and I nosily peered into the numerous windows, I caught a glimpse of a painting facing outwards for everyone to see. Just below the windows, ladders were attached to the side of the bus. The other things they brought with them were so abundant and carefully stacked to the ceiling that I couldn't make any of it out. As my car reached the front of the bus, a woman wearing a rather floppy hat and a very large smile waved enthusiastically at me. Her skin was tan. She looked like she worked…or played…in the sun, I’m not sure which. I found myself captivated by the people inside that bus. "Who are they? Where are they going? What are their lives about? What do they know about Jesus?" I so badly wanted was to stop and talk to these people, to simply listen.

Circumstances did not allow for this meeting to occur in the parking lot of the Great Falls Walmart last night. What I took away from that moment though was an insanely desperate desire to reach people for Jesus, to love on people and to be in Germany learning exactly how to execute the Great Commission.

I drove away wishing I had more courage. Here I am tonight, praying that I will find it.

There is a freedom coming in the next six months that I have never known before. I feel it in the air. I feel it when I breathe. I feel it when He shows me things like that.

It might seem silly. This whole post might not make any sense at all to most of you. But this is what I feel. This is what I see.

This is what He gave me yesterday.

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This is where I am going in 2 months and 9 days!

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MY Dad...

Let me start this out by saying that GOD IS GOOD and HE IS FAITHFUL.

He has given me so many blessings. I regretfully admit that I take most of them for granted and I often forget to say thank you for the ones that I can clearly see, however, today, I want to praise my heavenly Father for my earthly one. I won’t pretend like my Dad is perfect or that we never disagree…that would not only be stretching the truth, it would be an outright lie. We have had our moments, both good and bad, but he has always been there. Just like my Most High Father, my Dad has remained a constant in my life and I appreciate how rare that is.

God has been and is changing my Dad’s heart in incredible ways. To others, the things I notice might not look like much, but to me they look like Jesus. My Dad is a big talker, a real “tough” guy…and we banter back and forth all the time…but deep down, way underneath all that gruff is the heart of a softy…and it’s showing more and more these days… Most recently, my Dad was headed to ND to check on some business when he saw an older woman hitch-hiking. My Dad was worried about her so he picked her up. Her name was Rhythm and she rode with him all the way to his, and her, destination. Once they arrived she didn’t want to stay…it was too large and it scared her. So…what did my Dad do?…he brought her home with him. My parents put her up in one of our motel rooms without bothering to worry about how long she might decide to stay. She only stayed two nights before she headed West again but that was long enough to help me see… I am truly blessed to know my parents.

As my Dad grows older and I see his hair turning gray it makes me wonder if it would be easier to never love at all. It’s hard to watch my parents age. I am learning to appreciate the little moments I share with them…the shared laughs, the kind words, the inside jokes…and bind them to my heart.

I won’t have my Dad forever and I can’t think about that for too long without bursting into tears, however, now I am sensing that this is not the only place where we will be together.

On earth, love is such a bittersweet thing, isn’t it?

Thank you, Jesus for defeating death and thank you, Father for my father.

I love you, Dad.

“…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”            

Philippians 1:6

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No regrets AT ALL!

I have needed to update all of you for so long now...but I haven't known where to begin. The longer I've waited the more overwhelmed I've gotten with all there is to tell. However, tonight is the night. I'm finally sitting down and organizing the events of the last four months or so and my thoughts on them.

I was going to Northern Ireland. I was fully committed and extremely excited to go learn how to use radio and media to serve the Lord and spread His message of grace and life beyond simply surviving day to day. I have had a problem with commitment in the past, so committing to Ireland for a whole year was an amazing feat for me. It took an entire year of prayer before I arrived at the decision to simply make the leap...for real finally!

My commitment issues probably stem from my childhood...where all good psychological problems begin, so I'm told...when my family was a very unstable one. Long story short, there was a lot of verbal abuse and my parents never stopped arguing...divorce was always a looming cloud and I often begged for it to just rain already. My Mom did the best she could to buffer us from her sadness and the darkness that filled our home. As far back as I can remember I suffered horrible panic attacks, some resulting in a trip to the hospital. I was checked for ulcers when I was around seven and I spent most of my teen years in my bed. Depression and anxiety were my constant companion for a very long time.

Missions have also been a longtime friend of mine. All those years of laying in bed left a lot of time for dreaming and praying about a future filled with hope.

When I moved to Boise to live with some friends in August of 2010, three of us began dreaming about doing missions work in Northern Ireland together. I committed right away! I finally had friends to take a huge adventure with and I was not about to pass up the opportunity.

However, it didn't take long before I was second guessing my decision and struggling with the idea of leaving my family for so long. I had an overwhelming sense that something was not right and I just couldn't continue as planned. Telling my friends was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I broke their hearts and mine shattered. There was a simultaneous sense of relief and overwhelming sadness.

Pretty soon we had all moved past it and were on track. Best friends.

But once again the runner in me was triggered.

I am a runner. I am well trained and have a PhD in Avoidance. I am capable of backtracking my way out of almost anything.

I couldn't find a job and I was barely staying afloat...I had already given up. The news that I had decided to move home was even harder to break than the previous news. After many tears and pleas to try harder to stay, I left.

I cried all the way home.

One of my best friends couldn't talk to me for roughly five months. To say the least, I felt very lonely and very lost.

I always dream of being the sort of person who lives in the moment, someone who doesn't need five categorized lists and a room where everything is in it's proper place...but I am not that person. I am both sides of the spectrum. I make an instant decision to commit to something and then after I commit...after I have said the affirmative "yes"...a very scary word for me...I run. I begin to think over every aspect of the decision I've made. I search and search until I find the excuse I need to be done with that dream.

When I finally received an email from my friend, who I consider a sister, I cried. It was like a piggy-backing elephant was finally kicked off my shoulders in an instant. The thing I had been praying about for months had finally happened and I couldn't have been any quicker in responding.

Soon enough I was making plans to visit.

The two weeks I spent with my friends in Boise, Oregon and Washington were bittersweet. I wanted to go back in time...but I couldn't.

It was late August of 2011 when I got home and began praying about the idea of recommitting to Ireland...but this time I would be all alone in fundraising. I kept praying for a clear word from God about His will for me...but I couldn't quite hear it just then.

I had been friends with Dondi Scumaci, an amazing Christian woman, author and speaker, on Facebook for about a year. We had never met in person nor had we ever exchanged emails. I just couldn't shake the idea that I should email her and ask for her wisdom on the situation. I did NOT expect the things that were about to unfold. Dondi emailed me back very quickly and suggested we talk on the phone. Ever since I was seven years old I've dreamt of being a published author and there I was preparing to talk to an amazing one on the phone...my goodness, I was so nervous!

I had no reason to be.

Dondi is an amazingly successful woman and she is also one of the kindest and most generous people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She talked with me for over an hour about the mission trip, my concerns and everything in between. She helped me realize that sometimes God just lets us do really awesome things and that He loves it when we have the faith to simply step out of the boat and trust Him. By the end of our conversation Dondi offered to help me in so many ways that it was clear, not only that she is a true believer and disciple of Jesus, but also that God was giving me the nudge I needed to attempt water walking.

And that's where it all began...again.

I needed to find a church because I knew I couldn't do it without a family of people supporting and praying for me. At first I did not want to try the Alliance (for reasons that haven't mattered since I was 13 or 14) but my Mom and I finally decided to go. Right away I knew the Church was different. The people welcomed us and noticed that we were new.

There was also a huge focus on missionary work...I didn't yet know that the full name of the denomination was the Christian and Missionary Alliance. :P

Despite that information, I was still looking through the eyes of someone with a preconceived notion about how the Church would be and I wasn't sure I wanted to return...but we did...and I am SO extremely thankful that we did!! God has so richly blessed me in Church family. I have the best there is. I am very grateful that He doesn't care how stubborn I can be sometimes...He just pushes through it.

As you've read in previous posts, the fundraising was going amazing and I've never been happier in a Church. I was looking forward to Ireland with a focus that was concrete solid. I never even considered backing out.

Then in December, tragedy struck. My future DTS leader and friend, Nathan Asiimwe, went to be with Jesus. My friends and I were mourning the loss of Nathan and soon after the loss of the Media DTS we were going to attend. Understandably, Nathan's wife Annmarie, was not prepared to take it on all by herself.

In default mode I just figured that I would go to the DTS that was 30 miles away...still in Northern Ireland. It had no particular area of focus.

One night, I ran across a ministry that was all about knitting hats and blankets for new mothers in the Middle East as a way to show Christ's love to them. In an instant, my softening heart for Muslims came to mind and I decided, out of curiosity, to see if there was a YWAM base in the Middle East somewhere. My search led me to a DTS called the Marriage of the Arts in Herrnhut, Germany. It was like a dream come true...several all at once actually. They train up young missionaries to use art to reach people for the Kingdom and to specifically go into the 10/40 Window, the least evangelized region of the world.

I never knew that my love for God, writing, missions and the 10/40 Window could all be combined into one awesome 6 month experience! I began to question what was keeping me attached to Ireland. No matter what, aside from my friends and the country, absolutely nothing would be the same as I had originally set out pursuing so...

I decided to tell my friends about it after discovering that there was an art track that would interest each of us.

One of my friends decided to remain on her journey to Ireland because she feels a specific calling to do so. She may end up helping with the new beginning of the Media DTS we had all originally set out for. I know that God is going to work amazing things through her life.

My other friend decided she also felt a tug towards Germany. She is hoping to gain a ton of experience through the Handmade Art track in Germany for her calling of one day starting a creative healing ministry.

After speaking with my Pastor and taking time for prayer and consideration, I felt complete peace about applying to the Marriage of the Arts DTS.

It was hard waiting to hear whether I was accepted or not. My Church was waiting to see where I was going and I felt guilt over not being able to tell my supporters what I was doing. I wasn't sure how people would respond to the change in plans. Annmarie assured me that those who have supported her life in missions have always supported her more for God's call on her life rather than the specific location she is going. Sure enough, when I was finally able to update everyone, my Church continued to love and support me...which I really rather expected. They are wonderful.

All of you are wonderful.

This is all new to me. This entire experience and every emotion along the way. I have grown so much since finally getting out of the boat of my comfort zone. I've come along challenges and there have been times when I wasn't sure of where I was going or if I was on the right path. I have engaged in spiritual warfare...

I am still going.

The excitement I feel just bubbles over at times and I start dancing around and singing to the Lord. I must look crazy.

I don't care.

The things I am going to experience during my time in Germany and on outreach somewhere in the 10/40 Window will absolutely leave me different than I've ever been before. I anticipate healing and growth happening like no other time in my life...and I just can't wait!

There is not one thing I would change about my past. I am where I am and I am who I am because of every good and bad experience in my life. Specifically within the last 2 years, despite the struggles, I don't regret one thing.

No regrets AT ALL!

If I hadn't moved home...as hard as it was...I wouldn't be a part of my amazing Church and I wouldn't be healing from those hard teenage years in this town. I have grown to love the town that I used to hate being in.

I am happy here.

I still have a hard time living in the present instead of the future but it is beginning to get easier. I am cherishing the time I have left in this season of my life because I know that things will never be the same again. Every time has a purpose and these last couple years worth of lessons most likely have more significance than I can even see now.

Thank you to every one of you who care about my random update (I'm sure I've left out a lot) and who continue to pray for me. Your prayers are precious necessities. I still have some funds to raise and I would be so grateful if you would prayerfully consider helping me.

Much love to you all,

Toni~

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Contentment in 2012

So many things changed during the last week of December. My friend and soon-to-be YWAM DTS leader, Nathan, passed away on the 26th after a long battle with cancer. Nathan is 100% healed; he is now in Heaven with God Almighty! After the tragic loss of her husband, Annmarie needs time to just be with God and their 3 daughters, therefore the Media DTS has been postponed indefinitely. Please continue to pray that peace would fill their hearts and home. Annmarie has shown such astounding strength and faith through this time; she is truly an inspiration!

I was so sad when I was told of Nathan’s passing. I met him once on Skype and we had emailed back and forth for over a year. I considered him a friend and was looking forward to his mentorship in the near future. I mourned his loss with many tears but I am so happy that he is with God now. Up till now, I have never known anyone as faithful as Nathan who has died, so I have found myself, in the oddest moments, in awe of the fact that he is with Yahweh right now. In my brain and in my heart I know that Jesus lived and died for me (and everyone else) and that someday I will meet with Him in Heaven, but it just astounds me that someone I was talking with not so long ago is now seated with God. Amazing.

I will now be applying for a DTS located just 30 miles from Banbridge (where I was going) in Rostrevor, Northern Ireland. I don’t have many details as of right now but the next DTS is estimated to start in September. I believe it will be a Compassion and Justice focused program. This means that I will not be going to the 2012 Olympics but instead, will most likely travel to a completely different continent for the 11 week outreach outside of Ireland.

When I have more information, I will update everything. I am excited about this change only because I know that God works everything together for the good of those who love Him…and I do love Him. It’s reassuring to be reminded that I am not in control. If He wants me there, I will get there, if He doesn’t, I won’t. It’s simple. This opportunity may hold the very hinge that dictates the destiny God has laid out for my distant future. Who am I, really, to argue with God’s plans!? I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t disappointed. I did go through a few hours worth of mourning over my lost dream. But there was always that huge part of me that was assured of God’s goodness through the sadness I was feeling. Most of what I was feeling was simply a pile-up from losing Nathan and from the uncertainty that comes from having plans halted. However, after a good cry and a let-it-all-out talk with one of my best sister-friends I was ready to give it all over to God. He can take me wherever He wants. I will move forward on a slightly different route to Ireland but if He halts that plan as well then I will trust Him still.

Today in Church my Pastor, who is amazing, preached on Ecclesiastes. He bluntly said, “Life is boring.” No one can really deny that our everyday actions, day in and day out, aren’t a little mundane. We repeat everything over and over and over again. However, he assured us that that is where we find God. Our Father is with us always, during every boring moment, waiting for you and I to be with Him.

I find that one of the reasons I was so disheartened by the loss of the Media DTS was because it ripped my purpose from my hands in just a moment. I’d been counting down the months till I would go and have an amazing experience with God in Ireland where people would teach me and help me seek God in new and exciting ways.

Today I was deeply convicted by the message. Ecclesiastes is a corrective message against those who thrive on emotional religious experiences, among other things, but this being the one I feel most convicted by. It’s not so much that I am seeking after revival meetings everyday but, instead, that I always seem to need something “big” to motivate me to seek after God’s heart. When I don’t have that large, new and exciting experience coming up, I seem to let the blah-ness of everyday living take away from my intimacy with God.

I continue to look for someone to teach me how to seek God when…I ALREADY KNOW! It’s certainly not a hard thing to figure out. God has spelled it all out in His Word.

Not anymore! If I commit to one thing this new year it is this: I refuse to seek after the idea of God more than I seek God.

I mentioned to my friend that I continue to feel like I am living in Limbo on a daily basis, as if there is something always waiting in the future that is better than what I possess. My revelation: I am not in Limbo! God continues to give me amazing things. I live in a state of blessing everyday!!

My real problem is not Limbo, it is…discontentment.

When I look back on past experiences I feel a sense of lost opportunity. I wasted so many blessings, simply because I refused to live in the moment. I looked ahead…and when I got there…I just kept looking.

I refuse to reach the end of my life only to feel a deep sense of loss at all the time I spent looking into the distance, waiting for something magical to come, and realizing too late that the true miracle was with me all along, beckoning me to look to Him instead.

I look ahead now, with 9 months till I reach Ireland, and I am not waiting to live until I get there.

I am living. Right now. In this moment. Right where I am.

The blessings I have are innumerable. I have new experiences waiting to stretch and grow me right where I am. I truly love my Father and I know that when I just let myself be with Him, He will be with me.

I am content.

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Thank you to everyone who continues to support me. I will update you when I know more.

I pray that this year you will seek new levels of intimacy with the Creator and Giver of life. Let’s breathe Him in. I know He is always waiting for us to take our eyes off of whatever is separating our hearts from His. Let’s make that happen this year! I love you all. Happy New Year!!

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Noodles to Spare.

Recently, my mom, little brother, some ladies from my church and I put together a Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser. Mom and I were optimistic about how many people we were going to get. I believed that when I stepped out in faith that God would bless my efforts. So, we started planning over a week in advance for the dinner. I attended to every technical detail and wrote about 100 “to-do” lists…or so it seemed. A couple days before the big event we went shopping for the groceries and we decided that, since this dinner was going to be such a huge thing in our little town, we would plan for 200 people and if we ran out before the dinner was officially over we could just run across the street to the grocery store for more food.

The night before found us preparing deserts and decorating the Hall where the event was to take place in less than 24 hours. It was all so exciting! We were exhausted already but I just knew big things would happen the next day, so my energy levels were high! The Hall looked so nice! A wonderful friend of ours, who I always find myself wanting to call Grandma June, loaned us some beautiful decorations embellished with sparkles too numerous to count. The center pieces for the tables were so pretty and Christmas-y! The stage was all set; now all that was left was to cook up some noodles and await the enormous and ferociously hungry crowd.

The dinner was set to start at 4:30 pm and last until 7:00. We had a few glitches to start the evening off right. I think we only blew the fuses a few times though. Ha. I prayed that God would send the people when we got those figured out and, sure enough, the first couple of people arrived exactly after everything had been remedied. We served almost every family from my church…and we had an awesome time doing so! But we kept waiting for that big rush that was coming…and we kept waiting.

It was 7:15 pm when we finally decided to start cleaning up. As I vacuumed and pondered the evenings happenings, I realized that I was far too tired to worry. I was exhausted. I thought back to the day before when I told my mom that whatever happened I would stay faithful and I remembered how just that morning I had read in Philippians that “my God will meet all my needs…”

I had planned to make a good chunk of money from this event. In my head, I had done all the calculations about how much farther along I would be after the dinner. But guess what…

My plans were not what I needed.

The Lord knows far better than me what I need versus what I want. Yes, I’ll admit, it would have been wonderful to be a good bit closer to fulfilling my financial needs for the coming year in Ireland, but since it didn’t happen, what am I really out? Nothing. I will tell you what I’ve gained though…

I found, once again, that my church family loves me and supports me. I grew closer to them, I know them better and we spent time communing together as families should. I had a wonderful time with them and I feel immensely blessed to have them in my life.

I learned that God cares about the tiniest details. Mom and I had been wondering how we could “deck the Hall” for the dinner and, low and behold, a divine appointment with “Grandma June” and some boxes in her attic just happened to void that need.

I confirmed with myself that I am very content with letting God drive. He has raised more money through His children’s giving hearts in a single gift (multiplied many times) than my event that took weeks to plan did. My best laid plans are nothing compared to His Spirit moving in others.

We also had the pleasure of donating a whole bunch of left over baked goods and delicious deserts to the food kitchen. I would suppose that God had that planned all along. :)

We made more than we spent and the blessings far outweigh the energy expenditure. Everything I needed that night, God provided.

I trust Him.

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Thank you again to all of you who helped me with this event, who have donated to my mission trip, who are praying for me and who are considering joining with me on this adventure! I love you all and pray that you will be “blessed out of your socks”…as a friend of mine puts it.

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This is the two month outreach outside of Northern Ireland that I will be involved in!! Pretty awesome! *FOREVER*

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Wow. This will convict you to the core.

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$1.00 Drive

Hey Everyone!

I am currently doing a ONE DOLLAR DRIVE! If you believe in Who I am going for and would like to see me get to Northern Ireland, would you be willing to donate $1.00 and a reblog towards my mission trip?

I realize that this post may not go with the look and flow of your Blog but if you repost this I will be sincerely grateful. I know that you will be blessed through your decision to bless me!  

If you would like to give, simply visit my Blog and click the "DONATE" button towards the top, left of the page! Easy as pie! :)

I pray that you are all safe and warm tonight!

Thank you for your prayers and support,

Toni~

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Thankful!

I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to feel truly welcome and loved by a church body! The members of my new church home are going out of their way to introduce themselves, to track me down to invite me to lunch and many are saying, “Hey Toni, I have an idea on how to get you to Ireland!”

It is so refreshing to meet people who are wholeheartedly in pursuit of fulfilling the Great Commission by going and sending people out to the nations.

I know that God is providing for me and it’s amazing! I couldn’t feel more loved and thankful right now!

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Amazing.

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Jehovah-Jireh

God doesn’t need our counsel; He doesn’t need a certain amount of time or any assistance in causing things to happen. All that He requires is FAITH! When we step out into the unknown and give everything to Him, He IS there! Jehovah-Jireh means “The Lord will provide.” I am in awe of Him. It is so easy to forget that He knows my needs before I do…and He is already providing for them.

One of my best friends just received awesome news tonight! Whatever money she doesn’t have for her mission trip when it’s time to leave will be paid for! A friend of hers is paying the difference!! Isn’t God amazing!? When we just start to think that it’s not happening fast enough or that it won’t come in time…BAM!…that’s when God shows us what He’s been doing while we were struggling to remain hopeful!

The simple truth of the matter is that...we can’t do it. We need Him. All He wants is for us to admit that and follow Him in faith.

I am so thankful and extremely humbled.

God is good.

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To make them wonder...

When I was 13 years old I began to dream about combining photography with missions. Photography is beautiful. As they say, "a picture is worth a thousand words." Hearing about a war or hungry children is one thing, seeing it is another. As humans, and speaking particularly from a Christian point of view, our compassion is set aflame at the sight of tragedy. We want to fix it. However, sometimes we fall prey to that old adage, "out of sight, out of mind" and we forget that there is pain outside of our own.

Before I can become staff at Voice of Peace, I must attend a Media DTS where they will teach me how to effectively reach people for Christ by using the tools that modern technology has made available. These include, but are not limited to, Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and of course, Radio. Often these things are looked upon as enormous sources of evil in today’s society…and, admittedly, they can be. In this era, we have the ability to share information in a way that has never been available to any other generation. So, we can sit idly by and watch as the world goes on using this power to spread their ideas on life OR we can use those same tools to preach the Good News. Let's utilize these things that have the ability to reach more people than our physical bodies alone can.

As people created in God’s image, we hunger for art and beauty in unique and captivating ways. We want meaning. We want depth. Many times this leads people to follow pagan religions, idols, and all sorts of evil things disguised as good, all in an attempt to fill a certain void.

It is our responsibility, as the possessors of the Truth, to reach out to those lost and inspired souls in a way that will spark their interest and will open their hearts to the Lord. This generation and generations before us can be set on fire for God! They are looking for Someone to be in love with, to live for!

Give me one line of poetry, of words that fall together like rain, and I will come alive. It is the artist in me. It is the Creator in me. We were made in His image and He loves beauty. Look around you and you'll see Him. He composed those mountains just for you. He framed those trees to draw your eyes toward Heaven. Every aspect of His creation shows us another layer of His mystery.

The position for Creator is filled, but humans were created to invent, to construct, to bring about, to manufacture new things MADE from what has been created. We hold no rights to anything, but our souls long to give birth to beauty. It is a type. A picture of our Father. This is one of the many ways He pulls us in.

On a much smaller level, I believe that media outreach can attempt what God's creation achieves. For a generation who's lives are lived online we must inspire them to log off and look up. They need that soft whisper towards God's creation to simply make them wonder.

Will you help lift their eyes to God? Will you help me explore the possibilities that media holds to bring people to Christ?

To get there I will need your prayer support and I will also need your financial support.

Together we can change the world.