I'm Helio (~30, he/they, queer, Jewish) and I write things in my spare time. (AO3 | DreamWidth) This is Helio's valveplug & dark fic side-blog, 18+ only. Follows/likes from heliopauseentertainments No drama or discourse. I block blank blogs and antisemites. Looking for my Megatron Shipping Tracker? Here it is. Requests: OPEN (Guidelines) Icon by lizzyeprime
I decided I'll also use this side-blog for both valveplug and dark fic because it's a good enough place for it. Please see this post for request guidelines.
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This blog will have three main categories:
Valveplug
Dark Fic
Suggestive (things that are purposefully naughty, but not explicit)
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Separate tiers so that people who donāt want to see NSFW donāt have to. ATM only suggestive works will be posted in both but fully (non exclusive) SFW works will be posted on my socials for free 2 weeks after theyāre published on my Patreon. So youāll be able to see them on Tumblr a while after theyāre published here if theyāre not exclusive.
If you really like the sneak peeks of my exclusive Patreon-only art you see on Tumblr, the tiers are both the same price at the moment.
Characters:Ā Rodimus & Megatron, Toaster is referenced but is not really "on-screen"
Warnings:Ā Extremely Dubious Consent, Mistaken Identity, Accidental Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Portals, Vaginal Sex, Swearing,Ā Silly, Not Beta Read
Summary:Ā
:: Megs, what are the odds of these portals desyncing? ::
:: Very low. :: There was a telling pause. :: Why? ::
Crossposting: AO3 | Dreamwidth
Fic under cut. See AO3 for complete notes.
:: I didnāt know you could turn these off. ::
Well, until they had powered off when Rodimus had picked them up out of their storage box this morning. Megatron had been kind enough to continue allowing Rodimus to borrow his portal rings on occasion.
Today, however, they had a plan.
:: Which will explain why they were dead earlier, yes. ::
A plan that had been saved by Megatron showing him how the box was also a charging dock when plugged in correctly. An excruciating wait of 20 minutes was unfortunately the cost to be paid to have functional interface aids rather than bland, tasteless gunmetal bracelets.
Though, the plan hadnāt emerged unchanged.
Megatron had then taken one of the rings, still powered off, and left for his shift without affixing the ring in place. The charging situation had eaten up too much time for him to arrive promptly, apparently. As though a captain could ever be considered late, Rodimus had thought, regardless of what Magnus liked to say about punctuality. Outside of emergencies, it was no big deal.
Another hour later, after Rodimus had variously lounged on Megatronās less-than-ideally cushioned slab and poked through his datapads in the roomās dim lights while airing out his array, his communicator buzzed with an incoming call.
He answered immediately, throwing himself away from the shelves and backwards gracelessly onto to the slab with his limbs splayed wide. The brief stinging pain from his spoiler being pinched on impact was just the price of doing business.
:: About damn time. ::
There was no sigh in response, but Rodimus chalked that up to everything being set to internal audio.
:: Rodimus, I donāt know what you expected. I had to be sure I would be uninterrupted. ::
Blah, blah, blah.
:: Itās not exactly an inconspicuous activity. ::
:: Sure, Megs, whatever. Moving on. ::
They had naughty things to do and private parts to put private places.
Time to get this show on the road.
Sitting up, he felt around along the circle of the dark gray ring now resting on his palmāa better place than on his wrist, where he had previously been wearing itāfor the subtle rise of a flat button. It clicked softly when he pressed it, the ring now glowing bright blue with a hollow black void in the center.
:: Alrighty, Iām powered on. ::
:: As am I, yes. ::
Nothing came through the portal, no vision of the other side in the center of the ring. Only the black void remained.
:: Are you sure? ::
:: Yes. ::
That was weird.
But in a few moments, the soft outer folds of a valve, complete with a round node, emerged from the bottom of the ring to press into Rodimusās palm.
:: Sorry, I had the ring upside down. ::
The colors and shapes didnāt seemā¦ quite right. It wasnāt like how he had remembered Megatronās valve to look, but the lighting was dim and he could write that off as having any number of causes. Rodimusās memory wasnāt exactly a steel trap.
He turned the ring around so the node was pointed towards him, as though this were a face-to-face affair before placing it gently over his spike housing. Warm and soft and inviting.
:: Ready? ::
Sure, he still needed to wake his spike up, but that was generally an easy task. A little gentle caressing of his own node with the disembodied valve ought to do the trick.
:: Whenever you are. ::
Way easier without the legs involved, he thought, rubbing the already moist silicone against himself. Warm tingles of charge fluttered along his circuits as he teased, watching his spike slowly stiffen, rising out of the housing.
:: Iād say weāre good to go. ::
The ring was moved, held over the tip of his spike. The was, of course, a little jostling to get the right angle on the entrance hidden inside, but once he was lined up, Rodimus slowly pushed the ring down.
He moaned quietly into the audio channel as the soft silicone of the valve engulfed the head.
:: You always feel so good. ::
There was an odd silence. Megatron usually had some sort of comment.
:: Itās like a friendly hug for my dick. ::
:: Rodimus, what in the hell are you talking about? ::
He never did seem to care much for Rodimusās sweet nothings. A shame.
Rodimus held the ring in place, relishing the wet warmth. The valve was already squeezing against him eagerly; Megatron must have put some sort of sensitizing gel in there or something. A hint of a chilling compound lingering on his spike was a good indicator.
It even seemed a little tighter than normal. They made gels for everything these days. He could have had any number of goops in there.
:: Me fucking you, obviously. ::
:: Youāre not. Stop playing games. ::
Apparently Megatron was expecting something more vigorous. Sure, whatever. Seemed a little early in the event for that type of thing, but Rodimus could oblige him.
:: Alright, fine. More dick, coming right up. ::
He slammed the ring all the way down to the base of his spike, though it took some effort given the lubrication hadnāt been sufficient for a completely smooth glide.
Even with the rough treatment, he found himself groaning as the valve abruptly clenched tightly. As the valve began to rhythmically pulse, the round node twitched in time against his pelvic plating. The telltale sign of an overload.
:: Already? ::
That was strangely fast, but maybe with the gel, that wasnāt too surprising. Heād never tried the stuff before. Maybe he should.
The node, however, still seemed weirdly small, in addition to the pulsing lights being more of an orange than a red, but maybe that was just the angle and the shadows.
:: No, Rodimus, nothingās happened. ::
:: Sure, sure. :: Megatron was probably just embarrassed at overloading before they even really got started. Heād save the big guyās dignity this time. :: Whatever you say. ::
There was always time for more anyway.
Since Megatron seemed to be wanting it hard and fast today, Rodimus could certainly make that happen.
:: Youāre so wet, :: he lied. Partially. It was only a little bit of a lie. The gel just wasnāt that slippery. If thatās what it was. What else could it be? Maybe it didnāt matter. Megatron would be soaking wet soon.
Gripping the back of the ring in one hand, he slammed the valve up and down the shaft of his spike, never quite pulling it all the way off. He endeavored to shove himself as deep as possible on each downstroke, a loud moan accompanying the motion.
It was hard to hear if Megatron was also enjoying himself, but maybe he was trying to be mysterious orā¦ something.
After several moments, the valve again clamped down on him, lubricant seeping out all over his lap. Rodimus paused, holding the ring in place against the rim of his spike housing to savor his partnerās trembling. He watched as everything poking out of the ring shuddered.
Definitely verifiably slippery now though.
:: How about now? ::
:: Rodimus, stop pretending. Youāre not even on this side of the portal yet. ::
:: Iām not pretending. Are you just going to ignore me until youāve had enough? ::
Whatever. He could keep going. He wasnāt finished yet anyway.
:: I could fuck you all day. ::
He resumed stroking himself with the valve, this time slowly dragging the glowing blue ring up and down. Charge built in the wake of the motion, a tingling sensation concentrating in the tip.
:: You fit like a glove on me. ::
He paused as the base of his spikeās head popped through, lingering at the entrance.
:: I just want to stay inside forever. ::
:: I wish you would get inside at least the once. Rodimus, this is beyond ridiculous. ::
He pushed the ring back down, the folds sliding on the surface of the spike.
:: Shush, donāt kill the mood. ::
The silicone walls were beginning to squeeze again, trembling as they approached the edge once more.
That was Rodimusās queue to hurry, picking up the pace to chase his own climax.
:: Megs, Iām gonnaā¦. ::
The valve clenched tightly around him in yet another overload as he tensed, unloading transfluid deep inside.
Rodimus collapsed back down against the slab, letting several moments pass while he caught his breath, letting the excess heat escape into the cold air. Andā¦ letting the pain fade from pinching his spoiler yet again before speaking.
:: Itās alright; you donāt need to say anything. :: He held still, his hands pressing the ring of the portal down as close to his hips as it could go. It would be his turn again soon enough anyway so he could just relax and enjoy the rhythmic squeezing while imagining Megatron struggling to keep a straight face in their office. :: Your valve said enough. ::
:: Rodimus, what are you talking about? I keep telling you that nothingās happened. ::
Huh? That wasnāt a good sign. There was no reason for Megatron to keep pretending like this.
Maybe he wasnāt pretending.
A horrible, nauseating sensation began to build in the pit of his fuel tank.
:: I told you that youāre not even on this side of the portal yet. Stop playing around. ::
Hm.
Thatā¦ was not a good sign. Even Megatron wasnāt that good of a liar. Well, Megatron was actually a poor liar at the baseline, butā¦ regardless, something was wrong here. Especially after all of those vehement denials.
Maybe Rodimus should have picked up on the issue sooner.
:: Megs, what are the odds of these portals desyncing? ::
:: Very low. :: There was a telling pause. :: Why? ::
:: I think Iāve just been railing some random guy. ::
There was going to have to be a report. Magnus wasnāt going to like this, though maybe the random guy would be in a better mood about it after having overloaded a few times.
:: Hey, Megs, do you think this counts as cucking? ::
--
Megatron threw the report down onto Rodimusās desk and Rodimus, arms crossed, frowned upon at him. Thankfully, he thought, Megatron had been able to actually find the information given some anonymous tips about a mysterious portal spike bandit.
No need for an unending nightmare of being unable to look any given mech in the optic for fear of not knowing if he had accidentally fucked that guy.
āAlright, so what youāre saying is that the only reason Toaster doesnāt want to press charges is that it was an accident.ā
Probably not the only reason, but certainly the only reason on paper. Rodimus could respect that. No one would want it written down.
Megatron nodded, looking a little like he had additional comments that he was keeping to himself for the moment.
āIāll take it,ā he said, flopping his arms down onto the table.
Opening his mouth, Megatron ended the moment of keeping his peace.
āHe had a pair of rings that he shared with a long-term partner on Cybertron and had been waiting for his partner to patch through. Unlucky timing isāā
āLook, itās whatever.ā
Rodimus stood up, making his way to the door as fast as his feet could carry him without also toppling facefirst into a wall or the floorā¦ unless the floor was willing to swallow him up forever. But it probably wasnāt.
āJust shred that report before Magnus sees itāā
He paid the price for his haste, bonked his knee into the wall and launching himself sideways to the ground through the open door.
Reblog this and let people send you asks (anonymously or not) about how they would describe your fics, your writing style or just anything they've thought about when reading your work
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Warnings:Ā Mildly Dubious Consent, Phone Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Portals, Masturbation,Ā Vaginal Sex, Swearing,Ā Silly, Not Beta Read
Summary:Ā
All that was left was to turn the whole thing on.
:: Iām gonna do what Iāve been told to go do my whole life. ::
Crossposting: AO3 | Dreamwidth
Fic under cut. See AO3 for complete notes.
The portal rings glowed brightly in the darkness of Rodimusās habsuite, little blue halos in each of his hands as he sat on the edge of his berth.
It had taken more begging than Rodimus had wanted to admit to for Megatron to let him borrow the expensive paired portal device. Megatron had described it as being āon loanā but no money or collateral had actually changed hands. Rodimus was just going to hold onto it for the afternoon, after all. It wasnāt that big of a deal.
Thoughā¦ how to clean a toy that probably violated one or more of the laws of physics was a different question. Was it self-cleaning? Maybe Megatron could figure that part out. It wasnāt like they hadnāt shared it before the one time. Megatron hadnāt asked him to do anything with it specifically so it was probably fine.
Rodimus wouldnāt worry about it. It was already a dubiously safe contraption. What more did he want?
Well, probably what he had planned to do with the rings. Something that he was certain everyānearly everyāmech had wanted to do but was blocked by the limits of physics. Nearly every because Rodimus had doubts that Megatron, being broadly a boring person, would have wanted to do this despite the very tool necessary to doing it having been in his grasp.
Maybe it would be more fun if he bothered Megatron about it too, let him know his device was getting put to good use. He set up a private audio call, not particularly fussed about the fact that the recipient was supposed to be stationed on the bridge.
Megatron answered anyway, the silence in the background telling that this was internal audio only.
:: What is it? ::
:: Hey, Megs, Iām gonna do it. ::
:: Do what? ::
Right, he hadnāt actuallyā¦ told Megatron what he wanted to borrow it for exactly. Though presumably for indecent activities. That part was understood implicitly, surely.
:: Uh. ::
How to explain itā¦.
Valve panels already open, he set one of the rings against the folds. Soft silicone emerged through the other ring which he used to make everything was appropriately centered.
It took a few moments of awkwardly dragging the ring around to get it where he wanted. His node was kept out of the way on purpose; better angles, he reasoned.
All that was left was to turn the whole thing on.
:: Rodimus? ::
:: Iām gonna do what Iāve been told to go do my whole life. ::
Rodimus let the panel over his spike snap out of the way, though his spike itself still needed some coaxing.
The remaining ring with its plush payload was turned downward to rub over the top of the spike housing as encouragement. Warm, softā¦ regrettably still a little dry, but that would change.
:: I donāt follow. ::
:: Iām gonna fuck myself. ::
There was a confused pause in the audio feed. That could either have been from the words or the strange, sticky sound of the folds bunching up and catching on the housing. That would probably be difficult to identify by sound alone.
:: With the portals. ::
:: Ah. ::
:: I think itāll be fun. Iāll tell physics to get stuffed while stuffing myself. ::
The soft texture alone didnāt seem to be quite enough to interest his spike though, but talking and fiddling was a little difficult to pull off at the same time.
:: Anyway, enjoy the show. ::
Megatron said nothing, but he also didnāt hang up either. That was a good sign.
He didnāt even object that the āshowā wasnāt even visible. Mental note: get a camera drone to forcibly beam this sort of thing directly into his co-captainās eyes.
Rodimus held the portal down over his spike housing with one hand, the other reaching around to lightly prod at his node.
That ought to get things warmed up and he could even get hard right into his valve in one fell swoop. How convenient. Not thatā¦ intercourse was ever really about convenience. Well, sometimes. Now he was thinking about it too hard. The wrong kind of āhard.ā
The prodding at least began building a gentle tingle, warmth spreading through his array. The slightest tension in his spike promised it would soon make an appearance. He groaned quietly.
His hips jolted as his spike extended, bumping up into the flat area next to his entrance. Rodimus yelped as the portal ring in his hand was suddenly launched upward out of his grasp.
The blue ring illuminated his valve as it flipped through the air before falling, folds down, onto the floor across the dark room with a soft splat.
:: Rodimus? ::
He stared at the glowing ring on the floor while trying to ignore the uncomfortable cold of the ground on his slightly moistened valve.
:: Donāt worry about it; itās fine. Justā¦ a little setback. Nothing I canāt handle. ::
Unfortunately, with the other portal ring wedged between his hips, Rodimus was forced to awkwardly waddle his way over to collect the rest of himself, his spike bouncing shamefully the entire way.
After more minutes than he wanted to acknowledge, he was once more seated on the edge of the berth, legs once again splayed and the portal granting him access to his valve was once more in hand.
:: Alright, take 2. ::
At least, the entrance to his valve was a bit less dry. He perhaps should haveā¦ lubricated that more. A dab of the artificial stuff didnāt hurt, but he was already this far.
The head of his spike dripped some prefluid which he helpfully smeared around with his finger. Ready.
:: Iām gonna do it. ::
:: Thatās what you said earlier. ::
:: I really mean it this time. ::
:: Of course, you do. ::
Rodimus lowered the ring, setting the folds of his valve against the head of his spike. Still too dry for comfort, but he still needed to line everything up properly this time. That was fine.
:: Donāt be jealous because I get to enjoy my spike this time. ::
He rubbed the vaguely moist entrance back and forth over the head, enjoying the tingling sensation as it twitched from the mild intrusion. Growing traces of lubrication spread across the surface.
:: Why would I be jealous? ::
:: You enjoyed it the one time. :: Not that Rodimus had seen it. Since it was through the portal when heād stumbled across it in Megatronās room awhile back. :: You even got off about it. ::
The clenching and Megatronās node pulsing had been big clues. He moaned at the memory.
:: I mean, unless you wanna leave me a ring with your stuff in it for whenever. ::
Thatād be fun.
:: āFuck youā could be a promise instead of an insult. ::
Megatron said nothing.
In the meantime, soon he would know what it was like to be on either side of a night in his company.
Once there was enough lubrication, he bucked up, using his hand to push his valve onto the head of his spike. Just the head for now.
He moaned again, squeezing his valve around himself. He could hardly believe that it was working.
:: Iām doing it. Iām really doing it. ::
Now the āshowā was really getting started. Megatron had better enjoy it.
Rodimus sighed in pleasure as he slid the ring down, dragging his valve more fully onto his spike in further violation of physical limitations. Feeling the smooth slide of his soft silicone against the rigid heat of his spike from both sides was maddening.
:: Iām fucking myself. ::
And he was only a third of the way down.
:: Most people donāt sound so awestruck by it when it happens. Typically theyāre distraught. Occasionally, frustrated and confused. Enraptured is a new one. ::
:: How could I not be? I feel so good. ::
He held still, letting his valve adjust to the increased pressure. It wouldnāt take long. It was as though he was perfectly sized for his own array. Megatronās dumb jokes be damned.
:: Iām really fucking myself. :: Another moan interrupted the call. :: I canāt believe it. ::
:: Do you have to phrase it this way? ::
Megatron was the one to enable this, so he got to deal with the consequences.
:: Iām fucking myself right now and youāre not even appreciating it. ::
:: I wouldnāt say that. ::
His hips bucked up, more of his spike disappearing into the wet void beyond the ring as he groaned. He could feel his valve shift in angle with the thrust, the walls clenching down.
:: And Iām just halfway in, Megs. Itās incredible. Youāre missing out if youāve never tried this. ::
His spike twitched at the mental image of Megatron moaning, deep in his own plush valve. Even if the rings themselves would obscure most of the action, the unobstructed node would tell all. Maybe Rodimus would even get to suck it some more.
He circled his own node with his fingertip to remind it that he hadnāt forgotten it.
:: This is the best. ::
If Rodimus had something like this available, heād never have to worry about choosing between topping or bottoming again.
Even only halfway in, Rodimus lifted the ring his hand up and down, smearing the lubricant across his shaft.
:: Iām so wet. Itās amazing. So this is what itās like to fuck me. :: He sighed loudly, drawing his valve further down. :: I love fucking myself. ::
:: You certainly do seem to. This is hardly news. ::
Megatronās sarcasm was unhelpful, but it didnāt matter. His words couldnāt change the tight, pliant slip of his valve as it embraced his spike, like a long lost pair, forged for each other, finally reuniting.
Unable to take the suspense any longer, he slammed his palm down, shoving himself the rest of the way into his valve. The plush exterior folds rested on his lap as the head of his spike rested against the far back of his valve, stretching the silicone just so.
:: Iām in. All the way. ::
His legs shook as he held his palm down. A long, slow trembling ventilation escaped his mouth as he relished the comfortable fullness of his valve and the reciprocal snug embrace enveloping his spike.
:: ā¦ Congratulations. ::
:: I feel so good. :: He didnāt specify which part. He didnāt need to. His valve and spike were perfect together, like a key in a lock that the universe had conspired to keep him from opening.
And then he starting pumping, dragging the ringāand his valve with itāup and down his spike. A furious, obscene squelching undercut his moans as he impaled himself over and over. In and out. In and out.
The tense tingling sensation in his spikeās head, mirrored by the clench of his valveās walls and pulse of his exposed node, grew with each passing pump of the portal ring.
:: Fuckingā¦ myselfā¦. ::
Surely, Megatron had to find this play-by-play color commentary arousing. Heād surely be by immediately after his shift to try it out and get Rodimusās expert tips on how to love yourself even when physics says not to.
His voice began to fail, his vocalizer crackling with static.
:: Iāmā¦ Iāmā¦ Iām gonnaā¦. ::
He shoved the ring down as far as he could get it to go, pressing his array as tightly as possible.
His body tensed in overload, his spike pulsing hot transfluid deep inside himself as his valve desperately squeezed in time to each buck of his hips.
In a few moments, Rodimus collapsed back against the berth, the ring of the portal still firmly down against the ridge of his spike housing as his arms fell away to the sides as he struggled to get his breath back. His array still trembled, his hips twitching as his spent spike began to retreat.
:: Iāveā¦ Phew. Iāve really fucked myself this time, Megs. Iāve really done it now. ::
There was an oddly long pause.
:: That you have. ::
:: Iām gonna do it again. ::
As soon as his spike recovered, of course.
:: At this point, Rodimus, I donāt think I had any business being surprised in the first place. ::
Warnings:Ā Mildly Dubious Consent, Phone Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Portals, Masturbation,Ā Vaginal Sex, Swearing,Ā Silly, Not Beta Read
Summary:Ā
All that was left was to turn the whole thing on.
:: Iām gonna do what Iāve been told to go do my whole life. ::
Crossposting: AO3 | Dreamwidth
Fic under cut. See AO3 for complete notes.
The portal rings glowed brightly in the darkness of Rodimusās habsuite, little blue halos in each of his hands as he sat on the edge of his berth.
It had taken more begging than Rodimus had wanted to admit to for Megatron to let him borrow the expensive paired portal device. Megatron had described it as being āon loanā but no money or collateral had actually changed hands. Rodimus was just going to hold onto it for the afternoon, after all. It wasnāt that big of a deal.
Thoughā¦ how to clean a toy that probably violated one or more of the laws of physics was a different question. Was it self-cleaning? Maybe Megatron could figure that part out. It wasnāt like they hadnāt shared it before the one time. Megatron hadnāt asked him to do anything with it specifically so it was probably fine.
Rodimus wouldnāt worry about it. It was already a dubiously safe contraption. What more did he want?
Well, probably what he had planned to do with the rings. Something that he was certain everyānearly everyāmech had wanted to do but was blocked by the limits of physics. Nearly every because Rodimus had doubts that Megatron, being broadly a boring person, would have wanted to do this despite the very tool necessary to doing it having been in his grasp.
Maybe it would be more fun if he bothered Megatron about it too, let him know his device was getting put to good use. He set up a private audio call, not particularly fussed about the fact that the recipient was supposed to be stationed on the bridge.
Megatron answered anyway, the silence in the background telling that this was internal audio only.
:: What is it? ::
:: Hey, Megs, Iām gonna do it. ::
:: Do what? ::
Right, he hadnāt actuallyā¦ told Megatron what he wanted to borrow it for exactly. Though presumably for indecent activities. That part was understood implicitly, surely.
:: Uh. ::
How to explain itā¦.
Valve panels already open, he set one of the rings against the folds. Soft silicone emerged through the other ring which he used to make everything was appropriately centered.
It took a few moments of awkwardly dragging the ring around to get it where he wanted. His node was kept out of the way on purpose; better angles, he reasoned.
All that was left was to turn the whole thing on.
:: Rodimus? ::
:: Iām gonna do what Iāve been told to go do my whole life. ::
Rodimus let the panel over his spike snap out of the way, though his spike itself still needed some coaxing.
The remaining ring with its plush payload was turned downward to rub over the top of the spike housing as encouragement. Warm, softā¦ regrettably still a little dry, but that would change.
:: I donāt follow. ::
:: Iām gonna fuck myself. ::
There was a confused pause in the audio feed. That could either have been from the words or the strange, sticky sound of the folds bunching up and catching on the housing. That would probably be difficult to identify by sound alone.
:: With the portals. ::
:: Ah. ::
:: I think itāll be fun. Iāll tell physics to get stuffed while stuffing myself. ::
The soft texture alone didnāt seem to be quite enough to interest his spike though, but talking and fiddling was a little difficult to pull off at the same time.
:: Anyway, enjoy the show. ::
Megatron said nothing, but he also didnāt hang up either. That was a good sign.
He didnāt even object that the āshowā wasnāt even visible. Mental note: get a camera drone to forcibly beam this sort of thing directly into his co-captainās eyes.
Rodimus held the portal down over his spike housing with one hand, the other reaching around to lightly prod at his node.
That ought to get things warmed up and he could even get hard right into his valve in one fell swoop. How convenient. Not thatā¦ intercourse was ever really about convenience. Well, sometimes. Now he was thinking about it too hard. The wrong kind of āhard.ā
The prodding at least began building a gentle tingle, warmth spreading through his array. The slightest tension in his spike promised it would soon make an appearance. He groaned quietly.
His hips jolted as his spike extended, bumping up into the flat area next to his entrance. Rodimus yelped as the portal ring in his hand was suddenly launched upward out of his grasp.
The blue ring illuminated his valve as it flipped through the air before falling, folds down, onto the floor across the dark room with a soft splat.
:: Rodimus? ::
He stared at the glowing ring on the floor while trying to ignore the uncomfortable cold of the ground on his slightly moistened valve.
:: Donāt worry about it; itās fine. Justā¦ a little setback. Nothing I canāt handle. ::
Unfortunately, with the other portal ring wedged between his hips, Rodimus was forced to awkwardly waddle his way over to collect the rest of himself, his spike bouncing shamefully the entire way.
After more minutes than he wanted to acknowledge, he was once more seated on the edge of the berth, legs once again splayed and the portal granting him access to his valve was once more in hand.
:: Alright, take 2. ::
At least, the entrance to his valve was a bit less dry. He perhaps should haveā¦ lubricated that more. A dab of the artificial stuff didnāt hurt, but he was already this far.
The head of his spike dripped some prefluid which he helpfully smeared around with his finger. Ready.
:: Iām gonna do it. ::
:: Thatās what you said earlier. ::
:: I really mean it this time. ::
:: Of course, you do. ::
Rodimus lowered the ring, setting the folds of his valve against the head of his spike. Still too dry for comfort, but he still needed to line everything up properly this time. That was fine.
:: Donāt be jealous because I get to enjoy my spike this time. ::
He rubbed the vaguely moist entrance back and forth over the head, enjoying the tingling sensation as it twitched from the mild intrusion. Growing traces of lubrication spread across the surface.
:: Why would I be jealous? ::
:: You enjoyed it the one time. :: Not that Rodimus had seen it. Since it was through the portal when heād stumbled across it in Megatronās room awhile back. :: You even got off about it. ::
The clenching and Megatronās node pulsing had been big clues. He moaned at the memory.
:: I mean, unless you wanna leave me a ring with your stuff in it for whenever. ::
Thatād be fun.
:: āFuck youā could be a promise instead of an insult. ::
Megatron said nothing.
In the meantime, soon he would know what it was like to be on either side of a night in his company.
Once there was enough lubrication, he bucked up, using his hand to push his valve onto the head of his spike. Just the head for now.
He moaned again, squeezing his valve around himself. He could hardly believe that it was working.
:: Iām doing it. Iām really doing it. ::
Now the āshowā was really getting started. Megatron had better enjoy it.
Rodimus sighed in pleasure as he slid the ring down, dragging his valve more fully onto his spike in further violation of physical limitations. Feeling the smooth slide of his soft silicone against the rigid heat of his spike from both sides was maddening.
:: Iām fucking myself. ::
And he was only a third of the way down.
:: Most people donāt sound so awestruck by it when it happens. Typically theyāre distraught. Occasionally, frustrated and confused. Enraptured is a new one. ::
:: How could I not be? I feel so good. ::
He held still, letting his valve adjust to the increased pressure. It wouldnāt take long. It was as though he was perfectly sized for his own array. Megatronās dumb jokes be damned.
:: Iām really fucking myself. :: Another moan interrupted the call. :: I canāt believe it. ::
:: Do you have to phrase it this way? ::
Megatron was the one to enable this, so he got to deal with the consequences.
:: Iām fucking myself right now and youāre not even appreciating it. ::
:: I wouldnāt say that. ::
His hips bucked up, more of his spike disappearing into the wet void beyond the ring as he groaned. He could feel his valve shift in angle with the thrust, the walls clenching down.
:: And Iām just halfway in, Megs. Itās incredible. Youāre missing out if youāve never tried this. ::
His spike twitched at the mental image of Megatron moaning, deep in his own plush valve. Even if the rings themselves would obscure most of the action, the unobstructed node would tell all. Maybe Rodimus would even get to suck it some more.
He circled his own node with his fingertip to remind it that he hadnāt forgotten it.
:: This is the best. ::
If Rodimus had something like this available, heād never have to worry about choosing between topping or bottoming again.
Even only halfway in, Rodimus lifted the ring his hand up and down, smearing the lubricant across his shaft.
:: Iām so wet. Itās amazing. So this is what itās like to fuck me. :: He sighed loudly, drawing his valve further down. :: I love fucking myself. ::
:: You certainly do seem to. This is hardly news. ::
Megatronās sarcasm was unhelpful, but it didnāt matter. His words couldnāt change the tight, pliant slip of his valve as it embraced his spike, like a long lost pair, forged for each other, finally reuniting.
Unable to take the suspense any longer, he slammed his palm down, shoving himself the rest of the way into his valve. The plush exterior folds rested on his lap as the head of his spike rested against the far back of his valve, stretching the silicone just so.
:: Iām in. All the way. ::
His legs shook as he held his palm down. A long, slow trembling ventilation escaped his mouth as he relished the comfortable fullness of his valve and the reciprocal snug embrace enveloping his spike.
:: ā¦ Congratulations. ::
:: I feel so good. :: He didnāt specify which part. He didnāt need to. His valve and spike were perfect together, like a key in a lock that the universe had conspired to keep him from opening.
And then he starting pumping, dragging the ringāand his valve with itāup and down his spike. A furious, obscene squelching undercut his moans as he impaled himself over and over. In and out. In and out.
The tense tingling sensation in his spikeās head, mirrored by the clench of his valveās walls and pulse of his exposed node, grew with each passing pump of the portal ring.
:: Fuckingā¦ myselfā¦. ::
Surely, Megatron had to find this play-by-play color commentary arousing. Heād surely be by immediately after his shift to try it out and get Rodimusās expert tips on how to love yourself even when physics says not to.
His voice began to fail, his vocalizer crackling with static.
:: Iāmā¦ Iāmā¦ Iām gonnaā¦. ::
He shoved the ring down as far as he could get it to go, pressing his array as tightly as possible.
His body tensed in overload, his spike pulsing hot transfluid deep inside himself as his valve desperately squeezed in time to each buck of his hips.
In a few moments, Rodimus collapsed back against the berth, the ring of the portal still firmly down against the ridge of his spike housing as his arms fell away to the sides as he struggled to get his breath back. His array still trembled, his hips twitching as his spent spike began to retreat.
:: Iāveā¦ Phew. Iāve really fucked myself this time, Megs. Iāve really done it now. ::
There was an oddly long pause.
:: That you have. ::
:: Iām gonna do it again. ::
As soon as his spike recovered, of course.
:: At this point, Rodimus, I donāt think I had any business being surprised in the first place. ::
having two characters have bad sex, not badly written sex, but sex thatās objectively terrible for everyone involved, itās such an interesting writing choice because it either shows a) their relationship is strong enough that it can survive some intimate awkwardness or b) that there are serious problems with the relationship that canāt be papered over with sex
