self-diagnosed Vampire

valentine/V, they/he, 21 TERFS, exclus, bigots ect DNI

[vampire-valentines]

Hello everynyan i made a strawpage so u can learn a lil more about me

[eldr1tch-cr0w]

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

[eldr1tch-cr0w]

u guys scare me this is an untagged post Where are u coming from

[not-spiders]

here’s to all the weird little girls growing up into even weirder men

[injuries-in-dust]

And to all the weird little boys who grew up into weird women.

[nick-nonya]

and the weird little whatevers that grew up into weirder whatevers

[knitmeapony]

[super-affection]

was ringing up a customer and added his coupons, he was surprised it took off so much off the total and i accidentally said “well tits the season!” instead of tis the season but he let out a very long and powerful “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell yeah”

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

for those of yall who got on tumblr after 2017 and are wondering if it’s a typo whenever i say this, let me reassure you, it is not

[soaphoe]

this tweet is absolutely taking me out

#UseYourButt

[yellbug]

telling my cat to stop licking trash using the following bank of adventure game protagonist voice lines:

that's not for kitties

kitties can't use that

i don't think so. not for kitties, I guess.

heh... no way... that's not for kitties

huh? kitties can't use that...

kitties won't be able to use that

[quasi-normalcy]

HOBBES vs. TIGGER cage match TO THE DEATH say goodbye to your childhood because ONE! WILL!! DIE!!!!

[quasi-normalcy]

Picturing two tiger plushies just kind of sitting there facing each other in Thunderdome

[silverwhittlingknife]

i am picturing it

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Hobbes and Tigger would find some aspect of tigerhood to bond over, but Calvin would put Christopher Robin in the ground.

[teathattast]

[only-cat-memes]

[girlballs]

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like it was expensive

[girlballs]

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like a shining example of your country's functional healthcare system

[girlballs]

[sweating and taking notes] hey girl awesome pussy. it looks nuanced and complicated

[babushkaat]

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

cr 艾姨蔬妃娘娘原创

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[princessnijireiki]

[dailycatsblog]

[the-composite-doll]

Wait is that THIS cat?

IT IS

[robotdwarf]

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine

[fageleh]

I adore the weird things people do with/for their cats, where it's clearly something the cat is demanding, but there is no clear way for the cat to have communicated that so you're just like ????????

[fageleh]

for sure these are things that arose organically and simply became more intricate over time, but from the outside it's always like

cat: *normal meow*

human: hang on, she wants me to kickstart her rube goldberg machine

[nunown]

me: i dont like gangnam style

you: yeah me nei-

me: PSY-ch!

[nunown]

reblog if you gangnam smiled

[teomodo]

my moms reaction to my bat incident tonight

[draintheblood]

happy birthday to all goth and emo characters whos creators in strokes of genius made your birthdays on halloween to symbolize how goth and/or emo you are. and to frank iero who this happened to in real life somehow 

[draintheblood]

thank you and happy birthday to these icons and pillars of the community

[nebulations]

[ID: L from Death Note, Sebastian from Black Butler, Wei Wuxian from Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Kuromi from Sanrio, Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance, and Death the Kid from Soul Eater. End ID]