Kill My Pain

#i-suppose-i-like-poetry

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

I write to you, everyday.

I write you all the things I wish I could say,

We walk on such a thin tightrope,

We could crash and fall at any moment

but, my gosh, we could soar.

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

We were poetry my darling,

Blazing inferno's and tsunamis,

You were my everything.

Let's face it - you still are.

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

You fucking ruined me.

Yet I will still wait for your return to put me back together.

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

I've been told not to beg for you,

I am not going to beg because I am strong and brave.

I am strong and smart and brave so I know what I want and I know what we have is worth fighting for.

I am not begging I am fighting.

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

I told you one day, 'I've written poems about you',

You were shocked,

Of course you would be, I'm not the kind of girl that writes poetry,

That was the last secret I ever got to share.

You asked if you'd ever written poetry about anyone else,

I shot a 'no' out, as fast as I could.

I'm so sorry that that's the last lie I ever told you, but when I think of the pre-you era, I was speaking in a foreign language

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

I mean this when I say - I hate you.

I hate you with everything I have right now,

I hate your wonky sky blue eyes,

I hate that scar on your thigh,

I hate the moles on you back.

But mostly, I hate how much I need you, how you changed my world for the better.

I hate you for making me fall for you.

I hate you for walking away

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

I feel as though our days are limited,

The time we spend is so bittersweet,

But you, my love, are so sweet.

You are strawberries on a summer's day.

You are honey.

You are everything and more,

But maybe?

Our time is up.

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

How cliche, to see oceans in your baby blues,

Your eyes are not oceans, they are organs used for sight, to see,

So I know you can see me.

I know you can see how hard I've fallen for you

Yet you still chose to walk away.

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

'we were pretty great, right?'

My dear we were blazing inferno's,

we were thunderstorms and rainbows and all things in between,

My dear we were fucking fantastic.

~ I will never regret meeting you, you've changed my life forever

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

I wrote a poem, a long time ago, about a boy I thought I could love.

I believed in right person wrong timing when the world was against us and I didn't know how to love

Last week you told me you believed I was the perfect person but didn't want to be with me right now,

'maybe we'll meet again in, like, 5 years? That'd be ideal.'

I thought right person, wrong timing was for people who didn't know how to love, so maybe, you never loved me?

~ I always had a feeling you'd end up fucking me over

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

Isn’t it mad, you’re mine.

Not in a psycho possesive way, but in a self declarative boastful I need everyone to know how lucky I am.

- mine. wow.

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

Do you think it’s naive of us to say forever,

I keep pinching myself,

Surely it’s not this easy, how are you my happily ever after? How did I get it right this time?

I need to know if I’m delusional

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How strange,

You know every inch of my body, every facial expression, the meaning behind every joke,

You know me more than I know myself, more than anyone will or has ever known me,

Yet you are so unaware of how many poems I’ve written about you on nights I’ve missed you.

~ maybe one day I’ll show you your omnibus

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Isn’t it crazy,

Where we were last year?

Worlds apart and attempting to be further.

And now,

You’re on your way home and I’m counting down the seconds.

~ life has a funny way of turning things around

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

I never thought I’d find my forever,

It’s an honour to call you ‘home’

Thank you

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

Intimacy.

I LOVE THAT SHIT

[help-me-hide-my-pain]

Can you come home please?

I miss you