follow my other blog: itswhativegot for art

or follow not-tallenuff4thisrollercoaster for personal and mental health shit. I don't use this one as my main and switching isn't something the Tumblr staff has considered yet.

[helpimstuckindreamland]

Trying my hand at makeup again, out here daydreamin.

[recaption]

[not-tallenuff4thisrollercoaster]

You ever go to bed, super tired, fall right asleep expecting to wake up refreshed only to have lived 12 lives, waking up exhausted and confused?

Question for the void: what do you think about dreams? Why do they happen, do you find meaning in them?

https://youtu.be/JrBnTzswI0k

[helpimstuckindreamland]

I had a dream last night that involved a lot of people from high school, but we weren't in a school setting. We were at this outdoor casino park. There were some snack bars, some convenient stores, and a few open-wall bars with card tables and t.v.s (like a classic sports bar)

Anyway, I was at one of the bars, gambling (which was weird because I'm very not into gambling) I don't even know what was at stake, but I was determined to win. Not for their prize, but because I was convinced I couldn't get an oatmeal creme cookie if I didn't. Well, I didn't win, and I didn't lose. Money at least. I got up from the bar remembering I had actual cash with me so I made my way up to a convenient store. However I kept getting inconvenienced on my way, people were coming up to me, asking what I was doing, where I was going. Everytime I got stopped I watched the convenient store get further and further away. Finally I was desperately over it and I grabbed a kid by the shoulders and said "I NEED that oatmeal cream cookie." And broke away, determined to get that cookie. I finally get to the store and I see them: lil Debbie oatmeal cream cookies. It's all I want. I could feel it in my mouth already. I grab the pack and walk up to the counter. But when I go to pay, I realized my wallet was in my jacket that I had left on the bar stool back when I was gambling.

In a panic I rush down to the bar again to grab my jacket, only to find that someone else was sitting on it. It was theirs now. I would never get the cookie. I felt it slipping away from my future.

I lost my cookie and my jacket when I lost the game of gambling.

And when I woke up, I felt this emptiness in my stomach that could only be fueled by mass amounts of fried chicken wings.

But I'm vegetarian so here I am, empty inside. And without a cookie.

[helpimstuckindreamland]

Hey my fellow bipolar peeps, here's an amazing workbook for you to help understand, identify, and cope with your mood swings.

I was diagnosed a year ago and honestly wish I had this booklet from the start- but it's not just for the newly diagnosed and I highly recommend it to anyone with bipolar or who has a family member with bipolar.

[itswhativegot]

The first few chapters are to explain what bipolar is, what it looks like, and how it differs from other mental illnesses like depression. The next few chapters go into charting your personal history (ups and downs/medication) the chapter after that talk about identifying personal warning signs you might see or notice that happen before an episode (major mood swings). This part really helps me a lot because it kinda of highlights symptoms or behaviors I hadn't noticed before or didn't make the connection that it's linked to my illness. And with recognizing/acknowledging these early signs, you can better prevent them from reaching to extremes (identifying triggers is part of this). It goes into detail about what these symptoms and behaviors look like and how to counteract them both in the short term and long term. I haven't read past that yet, but the upcoming chapters are supposed to be about helping yourself become more self-aware of these early signs by "checking in" by evaluating you thoughts, your thought process, moods and emotions. Then taking these self-check-ins to the next phase of making things better for yourself (routine; core needs; managing triggers, stressors, symptoms, and consequences; medication) and the effectiveness of these methods.

I know a little about bipolar, I've done my best to do my own research and found that either a site or book has only general information or the opposite, too much detail (getting down to the chemical/molecular level of it) and while the science behind it is very interesting, it doesn't provide tools for recognizing and coping with bipolar disorder. The workbook is like a nice, organized, step-by-step process into educating and better understanding yourself.

*I'll find a price for it and reblog this with it*

[helpimstuckindreamland]

[helpimstuckindreamland]

Hey my fellow bipolar peeps, here's an amazing workbook for you to help understand, identify, and cope with your mood swings.

I was diagnosed a year ago and honestly wish I had this booklet from the start- but it's not just for the newly diagnosed and I highly recommend it to anyone with bipolar or who has a family member with bipolar.

[kulluto-remade-deactivated20201]

trump really rolled back healthcare protections for lgbt people during pride month AND on the day of the 4 year anniversary of the pulse nightclub shooting. i don’t know why i’m even shocked at this point but i still feel physically ill

[kulluto-remade-deactivated20201]

while this is going to affect lgbt people in general because we are now at risk of being charged higher premiums or fees for being lgbt or at risk of being completely denied healthcare for simply existing it’s especially going to affect trans men and trans women. i know there is a lot happening right now but please don’t let this go unnoticed. they are purposely passing these anti-lgbt laws right now because they know with the protests going on it’s an ideal time to do so. it’s an evil, underhanded tactic. don’t let them get away with keeping us in the dark about this.

[pivovarovah]

“I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.”

— Allen Ginsberg - from The Book of Martyrdom and Artifice: First Journals and Poems: 1937-1952  (via weltenwellen)

[alittledizzy]

I’ve seen a lot of lists of black owned makeup/skincare/haircare/clothes but none of those are things I buy on a regular basis, so… I went to search for some black owned shops that fit my specific interests and I thought I’d share what I found. 

Dope Coffee - black owned coffee sellers

Brooklyn Tea - black owned tea sellers

Natty Garden - black owned nursery with an online shop

Maya’s Cookies - black owned vegan bakery

Trade Street Jam Co. - black owned jams and baking mixes

[oberynmartell]

here is a google doc of resources to support george floyd, ahmaud arbery, roy stoddart, and the many, many, many other wrongfully murdered black people in the united states — as well as the black lives matter movement in general

please share this link or post to anyone and everyone

[daydream-ings-deactivated202010]

WAYS TO SUPPORT/BE AN ALLY

Here is a compilation of places to donate (IF you can, simply reblogging and sharing this can help) and petition to sign. I found these websites and organizations on twitter.

DONATIONS

THE MINNESOTA  FREEDOM FUND: Donate to this to collect funds to pay jail bonds for the protesters who get arrested.

BLACK LIVES MATTER: An organization fighting for the BLM movement. Donate if you can. 

BLACK VISIONS MN: an organization that is led by Black, Queer and Trans people. Donate if you can.

NAACP Legal Defense Fund: Fights for the overall equality fight. Donate if you can.

PETITIONS

Willie Simmons has spent 38 years in prison for a $9 robbery. He had two prior convictions similar to robbery that he served time for. He was prosecuted under the Alabama Habitual Offender law and was given a life sentence for his third strike - stealing 9 (NINE) dollars. Sign his petition. 

Breonna Taylor was killed by police who were conducting an UNANNOUNCED drug raid, where they gave no request to enter. They bashed her door and entered, shooting her EIGHT times. They were in the WRONG HOUSE. 

George Floyd was killed by a police officer who knelt on his neck and suffocated him to death, after George pleaded with the officer and told him he couldn’t breathe. The officer had pulled him from where he sat in his car on an alleged FORGERY. You can also text “FLOYD” to 55156

ARREST THE OFFICERS WHO KILLED GEORGE FLOYD: The main police officer who murdered George is being kept in PROTECTIVE CUSTODY. You probably have heard he was arrested, but this is NOT TRUE. He was placed under PROTECTIVE custody because of the riots and “threats” on his life. 

If you know of ANY other organizations or petitions, PLEASE ADD TO THIS LIST. The fight for justice doesn’t end here, it will never end. Especially when the president of the United States calls white supremacists good people and protesters of a mans death THUGS. USE YOUR VOICE. NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE. FUCK COPS. FUCK “BLUE LIVES”. ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER!

[waveridden]

the minnesota freedom fund is asking folks to donate to other organizations instead. the specific ones they listed are black visions, linked above, and these two:

northstar health collective, organized healthcare professionals working with anti-authoritarian groups

reclaim the block, a collective that aims to redistribute funding away from police and towards more community-oriented projects in minneapolis

these are the links i send to my facebook friends who keep running their mouths about “the protests hurting the community”

minnehaha food shelf & calvary church food shelf are both centered in the south minneapolis area where the riots started. the grocery stores in the area have been decimated, so food shelves and food insecurity charities need a lot of love right now.

northside funders group is a philanthropic group in the twin cities that’s using all its funds right now for helping local businesses

migizi is a native american media/history nonprofit whose office was destroyed in the riots

we love lake street is devoting funds specifically towards rebuilding the lake street area in south minneapolis

some more groups that could use your help

the healing justice foundation is a national nonprofit that’s specifically focusing on mental health resources for bipoc right now

ctul is a nonprofit focused on low-wage workers and workers rights in minnesota

mpd 150 is focused on policing and specifically trying to reroute the conversation from “we need to change police procedures” to “the police need structural reform”

the spiral collective is providing funds for supplies, medic kits, and other things that protesters will need on the ground

unicorn riot is a media collective that has had people on the ground filming every night in minneapolis

last but not least some more bail funds

atlanta

baltimore

brooklyn

columbus

connecticut

dallas

denver

detroit

houston

las vegas

los angeles

louisville

massachusetts

philadelphia

pittsburgh

seattle

[fbwzoo]

Kansas City

[pangur-and-grim]

Toronto

[newworldm]

[not-tallenuff4thisrollercoaster]

You ever get so angry that you just completely shut down?

No smiles, no frowns

No slamming of doors or hot tears

Just this immobilizing energy and a longing for self-destruction.

[helpimstuckindreamland]

Last night's dreams were bittersweet. I dreamt of my dog, just hanging out with him. Then I woke up and remembered today's the day we have to put him down. I've known for a week now, but the time flew by and as much as I wish he could stay, I know it's his time to go and that putting him to sleep is the right thing to do. I'm gonna miss him so much.

[helpimstuckindreamland]

He's gone.

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

[helpimstuckindreamland]

Last night's dreams were bittersweet. I dreamt of my dog, just hanging out with him. Then I woke up and remembered today's the day we have to put him down. I've known for a week now, but the time flew by and as much as I wish he could stay, I know it's his time to go and that putting him to sleep is the right thing to do. I'm gonna miss him so much.

[helpimstuckindreamland]

Yo, to the people who follow this account: I rarely use this blog despite the fact it's my main, so if you wanna see some art, follow my side blog @itswhativegot

[helpimstuckindreamland]

I just want to make everyone feel loved and cared for, is that too much to ask?