@hembrista - Tumblr Blog

practicing letting go by changing my pfp without having a backup of my old one

yesterday I was a bit tired+restless having drinks with people and I was thinking I need someone to want me carnally or I will die then I went to a the house party of a woman who used to court me and her girlfriend was there and I was very tired and antisocial and then I dreamed that I was at a house party feeling ignored and a woman I know who I'm not into AT ALL and find annoying was rubbing her breasts on my head

hembrista

you might think that the rubbing breasts part was unpleasant but it wasn't, I actually used to be intimidated by her in a limiting way (do you ever feel like you can't do or say xyz because a person you barely know might know about it and disapprove?) now I'm not anymore and the annoyance has transformed into a slight attraction

#she is a masculine woman what does this all mean #annoyance and attraction both relate to perceived vulnerability

Minami Gessel

“[…] In wrestling, a man down is exaggeratedly so, filling the spectators’ entire field of vision with the intolerable spectacle of his powerlessness.

This emphatic function is quite the same as the one in ancient theatre, whose resources, language and its accessories (masks and cothurns), concurred in the exaggeratedly visible explanation of a Necessity. The gesture of the vanquished wrestler signifying to the world a defeat which, far from concealing, he accentuates and holds like a pedal point, corresponds to the mask in antiquity intended to signify the tragic tone of the spectacle. In wrestling, as on the stage in antiquity, one is not ashamed of one’s suffering, one knows how to cry, one has a taste for tears.”

Roland Barthes, In The Ring from Mythologies

kitschday

1960s Harry Gordon Poster Dress

yesterday I was a bit tired+restless having drinks with people and I was thinking I need someone to want me carnally or I will die then I went to a the house party of a woman who used to court me and her girlfriend was there and I was very tired and antisocial and then I dreamed that I was at a house party feeling ignored and a woman I know who I'm not into AT ALL and find annoying was rubbing her breasts on my head

#good afternoon #i didn't remember this until I watched the annoying woman's insta stories