The Girl That Never Touched The Ground

Age: 21, Gender: Female, Location: Texas (Y'all), I'm not sure what else to put here... Fandoms include, but not limited to; Doctor Who(and spin-offs) Supernatural, Harry Potter, Metalocalypse, many other things, i just cant think of them now. I enjoy...

[alien-glitter-fiend]

[miss-united-states-deactivated2]

You’re safe.

There’s nothing chasing you. There won’t be a face in the window. Nothing is following you up the stairs. Nothing is under your bed. You can throw your legs over your bed, you can have your arm over the side of the bed, because nothing is out to get you. I promise. I’m here to protect you. I’ll kick its ass.

You’re safe.

[donotusethisonesblog-deactivate]

Same Mark

[hemp-mistress-blog]

No but i had the same reaction though. Fuck that Nightmare bitch.

[the-stoner-sage]

*ashes blunt on your opinion*

[the-stoner-sage]

*blows smoke in your face*

[throwtime]

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

[throwtime]

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. Chipotle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

[rosslynpaladin]

Martial artists, nonviolence, and a seriously lovely little bit of harmless vengeance. I love this whole story.

[gothberries-r-us]

This is my family cat, Miss Kitty, who thinks that the phone is a kitten…

[micdotcom]

With one cover, Erika Schenk is shattering stereotypes about fat and fitness 

Erika Schenk has been an avid runner for nearly a decade. But 18-year-old Schenk isn’t just gorgeous and fit — she’s also a plus-size model. That’s why the world rejoiced when Schenk’s Women’s Running cover hit newsstands. And rightly so, people are finally starting to understand the truth about weight and fitness.

[femmedilemma]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[szce-deactivated20140629]

u know its ok to admit that u love me in my ask

[thechaipapi]

DAILY REMINDER: ISIS DOES NOT REPRESENT ISLAM

[judasisgayriot]

The breadsticks thing to me is hilarious I think it must be another Europe/America thing bc my whole life ‘breadsticks’ have been these hard crunchy thin stick things you buy them at the supermarket and it says breadsticks on the box Never in my life has anyone around me referred to an actual stick of bread as a breadstick lmao But then we don’t have Olive Garden either

[newblogisnotjustanoxymoron-deac]

wait, that’s not what they’re talking about?

[wildwood-faun]

Are you telling me this meme is not about grissini? My life is a lie!

[stammsternenstaub]

WHAT

[entomancy]

I… did wonder why there would be such a focus on going to somewhere with unlimited dry wheat twigs.  Googling ‘olive garden breadsticks’ does seem to suggest a tastier thing.

Huh.

[sweatitoutshutyourmouth]

breadsticks (grissini)

olive garden breadsticks (baguettes)

[xvesperrose]

Omfg I thought they meant the top breadsticks

[martiethebat]

How the hell are you supposed to shove a massive baguette into your purse???? I thought it meant the little breadsticks because you can break them into smaller pieces so that they fit

[hopeful-weirdo]

they’re not actual baguettes, they’re very soft and probably 7-10 inches long. They’re served warm and brushed with butter. 

[macleod]

this week in: the rest of the world learns of the amazing american olive gaden breadstick

[lospaziobianco]

[garrettt]

Science fails to recognize the single most potent element of human existence 

[summershadowtwin]

There is no spoon

[castielcampbell]

there is no scientist

[notlindsay]

what the fuck

[rosequartzdiedforyoursins-deact]

are you kidding me

[veinitas]

i hate conservative christians so much

[doctorsiggy]

Well… There went all our celebrations. I’m going to fucking cry, what the fuck.

[jariolikesrugs]

What the fuck texas

[understudier-deactivated2016012]

I dont even live in Texas and im crying

[edgebug]

Hey, but marriage is still legal in Texas. There are secular wedding officiants who will definitely still officiate same-sex marriages. You don’t have to be religious. Hell, my parents were legally married by my mom’s friend in my gran’s kitchen. So like, all this headline is saying is that if the clergy wants to throw a tantrum, they can.

IN FACT, you can become an ordained minister, online, for free, right here: http://www.themonastery.org/ordination It’s legal and it’s legit and once you’re a minister you can religiously officiate weddings, or whatever.

SO, YEAH, this actually doesn’t mean much, and it’s just the Texan government making pissbaby noises. Get your friend/mom/cat to become a minister and get married, folks.

[a-fucking-velociraptor]

original post [x]

[dajo42]

this is the happiest day of my life

[loki-is-my-god-now]

that……is adorable

[mcgrlabroad]

If Aphrodite had stomach rolls then so can I

[bee-girlfriends]

This is veryveryvery important. My wife was feeling down about herself the other night and asked me “why do I look like this?” And I immediately brought up a photo I had taken of a sculpture of Aphrodite I had taken at the Chicago MOMA. I said, “look at this picture. What does she look like?” And my wife very shyly answered “Me…” (Literally her body is IDENTICAL to the sculpture) so I replied “that is the Goddess Aphrodite. THAT is why your body looks like this.”

[humunanunga]

I very rarely reblog miscellaneous posts but there are some followers of mine who really need to see this.

[neckstime-deactivated20140216]

Reblog if you'll PUBLICLY answer anything in your ask right now.

[hemp-mistress-blog]

Amazing photo set back in April. Any chance of you doing more?

I did another shoot yesterday (thursday the 18th) I’ll post them as soon as i can

[tai-korczak]

23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.