Howdy!

I'm a novelist and just actually pretty boring.....

[sneakyfeets]

I keep coming back to this official Blizzard line of questioning because it is just so very telling and oh so fucking stupid

[eel-soup-moved-accounts]

OOF! OOF! how does FIFTEEN POINTS of DAMAGE TASTE?!

[rogha]

I’ve been searching for this for 20 minutes.

[petiteluz]

[bruja-mafufa]

Our little house in El Salvador has steps like this leading into the ocean :3 when the tide is low, you can step down onto the beach. When the tide is high, you can step right into the water.

[sneakyfeets]

that wood would rot and be hella unsafe I would not trust that shit

[uknown-54112-deactivated2019102]

sneakyfeets ITS LIKE FOUR STEPS

[sneakyfeets]

FOUR STEPS OF DEATH BRO

YOU’RE WALKIN DOWN THAT SHIT, MAYBE YOU A LIL TIPSY, IT’S SUMMER, GOT YOUR COORS IN ONE HAND MAYBE SOME SHITTY IPOD KNOCKOFF BECAUSE NOBODY WHO’S ANYBODY FUCKING BUYS IPODS ANYMORE

YOU’RE DROWSY, YOU FEELIN GOOD THEN BAM! STEP NUMBER THREE SNAPS ON YOU! IT’S ROTTED, IT’S GROSS IT’S EMBEDDED 6 INCHES UP ALL INTO YOUR LEG MAN AND GUESS WHAT

THERE’S A PARASITE SWIMMIN UP IN THAT WATER HE SEE YOUR BLOOD HE FEELIN LIKE HOLLAH HOMBRE GONNA MAKE YOUR WOUND FEEL LIKE HOME BAM STAFF INFECTION YOUR LEG GOTTA COME OFF BRO OR YOU DIE YOU FUCKING DEAD

OF COURSE BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN GET TO THE DOCTOR SO HE CAN SIT YOU DOWN WITH ONE LEG ON YOUR KNEE IN A COMFORTING GESTURE AND THE OTHER HOLDING A TABLESAW BEHIND HIS BACK BAM SMELL OF BLOOD ATTRACTS A MASSIVE SHARK AND HE TAKES OFF YOUR OTHER LEG BECAUSE HE’S A DISCERNING MAN SHARK HE KNOWS YOUR LEG THAT’S SHANKED UP AND WOODEN GONNA GIVE HIM MOUTH SPLINTERS HE AINT NO FOOL

THAT’S TWO LEGS GONE BRO. DEUCE BITCHES

‘FOUR STEPS’ MY ASS NATURAL SELECTION IS COMING FOR YOU

[sagolii-sandcat]

Salt water doesn’t rot wood.

[sneakyfeets]

SHUT UP NERD

[hipster-trichster]

this post was wild

[empressofmythoughts]

Well shit

[amazoogle]

[thatssomanda]

My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.

[auntytimblr-deactivated20150403]

every time we serve chicken at work i think of this post

[gallusrostromegalus]

1.  If you were wondering, you can type the numbers in the works cited into google and they appear to be medical journal articles about using medical imaging to detect and diagnose a rare form of Gastritis.

2. Please enjoy the offical powerpoint presentation of this paper at an academic conference by the original author, complete with Q&A:

[zillyirk32]

THIS IS GOLD

[aprillikesthings]

oh m god please watch the video it’s some of the most contagious laughter on the planet

[artikgato]

When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made

[eliciaforever-deactivated201906]

I HAVE NOT SEEN THE CHICKEN VIDEO IN TEN DAMN YEARS HOLY SHIT

STILL FUNNY

[ruelukas22]

The bell

The last question

The woman howling in laughter 90% of the time

It’s all beautiful

It’s all

So beautiful

[explorerrowan]

I love that he was absolutely 100% prepared for a question in chickenese.

[dumbbadger]

Soot tags gather after fires in areas with low circulation. They are not, as commonly believed, ash covered spider webs.

[armedandgayngerous]

oh, well then what the FUCK are they???

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

They’re made of sticky particles from a polymer or petroleum based fire, like burning carpet, drapes, upholstery, and clothes. Due to a static charge, they chain together and naturally gather near ceiling corners because the rising hot air pushes them into the cool spots by convection. 

Because they’re formed by static electricity, they can only be removed with professional chemicals and equipment. Attempting to remove them improperly will only break the chain before all the soot can be captured, leaving the remaining soot to spontaneously reform the webs later. Even worse, trying to wipe or wash them away can firmly adhere the soot to your wall or ceiling, which will permanently stain it. 

[unclevertitle]

A natural phenomena that only coincidentally resembles the damned webs of transdimensional ghost spiders.

[naamahdarling]

NOPE

[princess-bel]

So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?

Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate.

Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions.

Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared.

Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out).

Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth.

Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare.

Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened.

Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!”

[aplatonicjacuzzi]

Imagine Harry returning with Warrington’s body, and the crowd realizes what’s happened, but Warrington’s parents don’t show up. There’s no one to mourn him, to cradle him in their arms and cry for their son. The Slytherins know why. His parents were Death Eaters, too.

Imagine Slytherins reaching out, asking for help from classmates from other houses. They’re terrified, truly terrified because the being their parents claimed would never hurt them because they’re pureblood, they realize that he does not care.

Imagine Slytherins in the 5th book sneaking off to join Dumbledore’s Army, to learn more about who Voldemort is without their parents acting as a filter. 

Imagine the shock when they’re told what he’s really done.

Imagine that a few talented Slytherins went with Harry and the others into the Ministry of Magic. The others are a bit wary but they prove themselves as friends.

Imagine them being confronted by Lucius Malfoy in the the Hall of Prophecy, and when the Death Eaters descend, they know that any one of them could be their parents.

Imagine the shocked gasp of a Death Eater as they realize their own child, a pureblood, is standing defiantly with Harry Potter. They choke back a cry. They can’t let their child know that they were about to duel to the death.

Imagine a DA Slytherin facing off against their own Death Eater parent. That they make the decision to let their child defeat them, because in that moment, they realize that they love their child more than they fear Voldemort. They go down, mask unveiled, and the Slytherin kid has to be dragged from the fight before he gets killed.

Imagine Book 6 Slytherins getting more friendly and cooperative with the other houses. Two years of Voldemort terrorizing the muggle and Wizarding world, two years where their parents just up and leave some days, cringing from the pain in their arm, two years after the death of the first Slytherin pureblood, Cassius Warrington, killed by Voldemort’s right-hand man, and they’re slowly hitting the breaking point.

Imagine Slytherin kids keeping tabs on their parents, sending the information to Harry, who shares it with the Order of the Phoenix, and hoping that their parents won’t be killed.

Imagine Book 7 Slytherins low-key rebelling against the new oppressive Hogwarts staff.

Imagine the final seige on Hogwarts, where Slytherins stand proudly by their fellow houses, knowing full-well they could be fighting their own parents. Some Slytherins know their parents were in the fighting. They hope to find them first and sneak them away. Their fellow students understand. Professor McGonagall allows 7th Year Slytherin, Pansy Parkinson, to duel a death eater in her stead; her father is under that veil. She knows it.

Imagine the aftermath of the battle; every house suffered loses. Slytherin students crying over the deaths of friends they made in every house.

Imagine a Cassius Warrington statue made in his honor, the first Slytherin to fight and die nobly with Harry Potter, the boy who lived, in the face of ultimate evil. He was a true Slytherin, and its in his name that Slytherin children and their families have cut all ties with the Death Eaters, denounced Voldemort, and are finally living in peace.

[stellaathena]

Imagine the debates in the Slytherin common room after Warrington is murdered. Some continue to defend their Death Eater parents – the Dark Lord must have had a reason, Warrington or his parents must have done something wrong or are no longer needed: the Dark Lord has no use for the “useless”, the “spare” – because everything their family taught them cannot be wrong. This is what they know and these people are their parents; turning on them could mean losing everything. Others are vehement in opposition – how can we follow a madman? He killed Warrington, how does killing the child of your followers make any sense? We cannot possibly be safe. The younger students are frightened because they do not understand what is going on while the older ones are terrified because they do. They have no idea how the rest of the school is going to treat them, though, so they need a united front, as they always have, so they can at least protect each other. The compromise is to stay neutral: no more outward hatred and bullying of muggleborns, do not antagonize the Golden Trio, but do not befriend them either; stay out of school politics and do not cause a stir. Meanwhile, everyone is frantically writing to their parents to find out more information and get an update on the family’s party line. Imagine Snape watching all of this without getting directly involved. When he goes to tell Dumbledore, the headmaster already knows, because the portraits got to him before Snape did, as they always do. The two decide to reach out to the more capable anti-Voldemort students to see how helpful they can be. Thus is born a cadre of double agents under Snape’s tutelage – the Vipers? The Vipers all join the DA and help them learn what Snape had taught: occulemency, clever potions, hexes, and charms. As the war progresses, more students join the ranks of the Vipers and they all funnel information to the Order. Draco struggles the most with his loyalties: he hates the Dark Lord for threatening his family, but sees no way to get out since Lucius is the Dark Lord’s right-hand man. Besides, it is not as if his politics align with those of the Order, and in Sixth Year, the Dark Lord is going to kill his parents if he does not succeed. Draco ultimately follows his father’s lead and stays nominally loyal. Still, even though he knows about the Vipers, he never betrays them to the Death Eaters. 

Imagine the final battle: the loyalists stay in the Dungeons, away from the fighting, while the Vipers stand with the other houses, fighting against their parents. Draco stays loyal until he loses Crabbe to the Fiendfyre and is saved by Harry. He cannot bring himself to fight – it could cause too much trouble for his family should Voldemort win, besides, he might get hurt – but he goes to help those taking care of the wounded. He and Goyle need to get medical attention anyway and Draco is intimately familiar with the types of spells and artefacts Death Eaters are likely to use. Two Vipers watch him at all times, and he is not allowed to cast spells around the wounded, but he does contribute. Imagine the students returning to school after Hogwarts has been rebuilt. There are “good” Slytherins: the Vipers, and “bad” Slytherins: the loyalists. The loyalists have lost, and many of them would prefer to find a place in the new order, but they are shunned, harassed, and excluded. House solidarity continues regardless; the Vipers understand their choices. They refuse to abandon their housemates, even if it might be politically expedient, and convince the DA to help stop the bullying from their end. Slowly, as time goes on the Vipers and the DA lay the groundwork for mending the rifts between houses. By the time their children attend the school, relations are markedly better, though students are still prone to making distinctions between the four groups: Vipers, DA members, loyalists, and neutrals, who did not fight.

[welcomedhappiness]

Farewell online privacy

[tikalgirl]

What happened?

[welcomedhappiness]

Trump happened.

[pizzaalle]

just get a VPN?

[earth-ruins]

You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect. 

Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do!

So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do?

A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. 

Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it)

But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit)

Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want).  

Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey.  The ISP  still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. 

I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security.

There is still more danger!  Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs

More about law  The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst):  

The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source)

There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better).  You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries.  If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! 

I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page.  

Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/

Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. 

I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. 

Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also,  there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest)

Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy)

This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously.

EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research! 

[writing-prompt-s]

I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it. 

[rabbittiddy]

Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

[thecrystalfems]

He hasn’t yet but he says he wants to. And if he is serious about it it would be really easy to do. Since all our data is already recorded, as the person above explained.

[coltrer]

Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent. 

Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it. 

btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. 

Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

[imthedoctor12]

@earth-ruins @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

[writing-prompt-s]

If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruins advice. Do your own research first. 

[writing-prompt-s]

@elvesfromthedeep​ just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). 

Sources

Anger as US internet privacy law scrapped 

Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history 

To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

[greeneyespurpleheart]

Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass.

With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN.

Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

[tthatonefangirl-deactivated2019]

Ok sorry that it’s so freaking long and also sorry for the language, but this is extremely important. Please reblog!

[li-ionsandtigersandbears]

Reblogging again bc this is important

[writing-prompt-s]

You are the world’s most successful marriage counsellor. Each case ends with a 100% satisfactory rate for both sides. One day, a rather unusual couple enters your office. Through questioning you find out that the two people in front of you are in fact Zeus and Hera. And they won’t leave until you fix their mess.

[technicalzombie]

“You two need a divorce.” As usual, Zeus’ fury was a sight to behold. It took all her years of experience as a counselor, and willpower she didn’t realize she’d had, to keep her composure. The conditions of her services had been clear, they couldn’t harm her, but it was small comfort when Zeus is hurling lighting bolts around an indestructible room. Hera, on the other hand, was also perfectly composed. Once Zeus’ rage had played out and he stood glaring at at the counselor from behind the couch, she spoke. “We came to you to fix our marriage. To salvage it.” She explained. “A divorce…” “I don’t fix marriages.” She countered. “Look closer at my testimonials. My help may have saved a few marriages, but what I do is help people fix toxic situations.” “Olympus must have a king and queen!” Zeus insisted. “And who made that rule?” She asked. Zeus didn’t catch Hera’s faint smirk, but the counselor did. Of course she’d known what her would recommendation would be. She was here because Zeus needed to think it was his idea. He went quiet at the question, the almost shocked, dawning realization that he had control here. “You did, naturally. You defeated the Titans, and claimed the right to rule. But Zeus, think on it, why did you do it? Who expected you to rule? Why did you need a queen and why did the queen need to be Hera? And if you’re really honest with yourself, do you even want to rule?” She wondered if it was the first time Zeus had ever taken a moment for real introspection. Most likely it was. Hera was perfectly neutral in her expression, but the light in her eyes told the counselor more. The soft bell timer next to her chair went off. “Well that’s all the time we have to today.” She said, closing her notebook. Zeus was still looking thoughtful. A stunned kind of thoughtful, but thoughtful nonetheless. “Talk to my secretary and he’ll schedule your next session.” Zeus tried to argue, and Hera made a good show of it as well, but they had agreed to follow certain rules, and this was one of them. She did have other clients, after all. It had been Hera who agreed second, when Zeus had demanded she see reason. And there were other sessions. Six months before they finally decided to divorce. The news shook the other pantheons. The news of Zeus’ abdication in favor of his brother Hades shook them more.  Stable, serious Hades, and his wife Persephone. It was better for the pantheon, and with Persephone in the mix, it wouldn’t be boring. Zeus took to adventuring. Diving happily into his new, and old, roles as a god of the sky, thunder, storms, and lusty parties. Astronauts who venerated Zeus were almost sure to come home safe, and come home to the wildest parties. Hera, relieved of the almost obligatory jealousy Zeus had once elicited from her, became more focused than ever on her role. Suddenly there were breakthroughs in pre and post-natal medicine. Marriages became more stable than ever. Stable marriages mean poor business for a marriage counselor. She was glad her services were less necessary, but if things kept up like this, she would need a new career. The knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she answered it. Her secretary had left months ago, finally marrying his husband and moving to the country as they’d been dreaming of. She hand’t bothered to hire a replacement. Opening the door revealed, to her great shock, Hera. She looked different. The stony neutral expression was gone. She seemed softer. She had laugh lines. She was dressed causally, when the counselor had only ever seen her in business formal, with a shawl patterned in peacock feathers. She wanted to talk. Partly to thank her, and partly to apologize for essentially driving the counselor out of business. They talked of other things, mostly trivial, laughing at the latest antics of Zeus and his fellow thunder god, Thor. Most of the world never saw these things, but her encounter with the gods had left the counselor’s eyes more open than before. “There is another reason I wanted to talk to you.” Hera said finally, setting her teacup down. “There are other gods in need of a good counselor. Not just marriages but relationships that need help. You’ve seen the good that you can do with just one pair of clients.” The possibility excited her. She could help the world in ways undreamed of. “That sounds incredible!” She exclaimed. “But…how would it work? We can’t have the gods parading in and out of the building on a daily basis….” Hera smiled and took the counselor’s hand, looking into her eyes in a way that made the counselor shiver and blush. “Why don’t we discuss it over dinner?”  

[hoardofhyperfixations]

GASP

Well written, Greek (and Norse) mythology,

and

GAY?!

A true masterpiece that everyone should read.

[writing-prompt-s]

Thank you for doing this prompt @sinistercoffin

Check out the story tag for more short stories

[authumor]

[badgerofshambles]

a singular scuit. just one. 

[threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat]

an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

[brunhiddensmusings]

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years ‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice baked thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice

behold the monoscuit/scuit

[cameoamalthea]

Why is this called a biscuit:

[brunhiddensmusings]

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

[correspondingnerd]

I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Bards are psychopaths

Context: I play a druid named Kikki and I’m playing with a bard and a dwarven fighter. The bard’s player is normal enough, but when he’s in character- oh boy. And this is just from our first session.

Bard: Kikki, I’m just gonna let you know now, if you die before me, I am totally gonna eat your face.

Me: What?

Bard: I’m gonna eat your face if you die before me.

Me: WHY

Bard: It’s a pretty face. I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.

Dwarf: *general ‘what the fuck’ noises*

Bard:  …

Me:  …

Bard: So would you prefer to be slow roasted or kentucky fried

Me: NO

(About five minutes later my character overhears this whilst trying to fall asleep in their camp. Bard is on watch duty, much to my discomfort).

Bard: Hey Throk (the dwarf) you awake?

Dwarf: *grunts*

Bard: Can I lick your beard

Dwarf: Fuck no

(needless to say, this did not make it any easier to sleep with the bard on watch.)

(Later that session, we were fighting a group of kolbolds and the bard did another creepy thing).

Bard: (OOC) I’m gonna cast Vicious Mockery

DM: Alright, what do you say?

Bard: (OOC) I lean in towards one and whisper  “You smell like my delicious underpants.”

DM: Okay, you roll your die and I’ll roll for the kolbold.

*they roll. Bard gets a nat20 and the kolbold fails it’s save anyhow*

DM: The kolbold turns pale as you whisper these incredibly creepy words in its ear, then crumples to the ground, dead.

Me: (Both in and out of character) WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F U C K

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Our DM: why are you here? What brings you to this town? Our Ranger: thorsty Our whole party breaks down in laughter Ranger: what??? I’ve been traveling for a while and I want a succ of water! DM: I can’t believe DND is cancelled forever

[mrcamillaa]

@therealjacksepticeye​ This is important information!

[cryptidflavored-archived-blog]

[teojida-archive-deactivated2020]

i found out this is actually because ‘mineta’ is the polish word for cunninlingus so any search with him in it is marked as nsfw and not viewable to people who have safe search enabled! fun fact

[cryptidflavored-archived-blog]

[stream]

The Big Sick (2017) | dir. Michael Showalter

[probablygoodrpgideas]

Make sure the system you use matches the kind of players you have, for an optimal experience

Admin Note: This is part of the ongoing series called “D&D isn’t the only TTRPG if you don’t want fantasy play another goddamn game!”

[thydungeongal]

I already reblogged this once but this is important:

Like I run a D&D blog. I understand that D&D is the most well-known and popular RPG in the world. But a lot of the time I see people going like “Hey I want to run a D&D campaign and throw out all the D&Disms and here’s all the notes I have for running a campaign about courtly romance and chivalry in a historical setting” and I’m just like STOP YOU DON’T NEED TO RUN THIS USING D&D

There’s a sort of a mistaken assumption that because D&D is the biggest game on the market and that it’s fantasy that it should be the go-to fantasy game but look it’s not D&D isn’t a generic fantasy game it’s a very specific kind of fantasy all of its own, one that steals liberally from swords & sorcery and high fantasy and adds fucking extradimensional cube robots for good measure

So next time you’re thinking about a fantasy campaign in a decidedly non-D&Dish setting consider instead of jamming the square peg that is D&D into a round hole trying to find a system that actually supports what you’re trying to do

And this is not to say that you shouldn’t play D&D: D&D is hella fun. But there’s a lot of genres and styles that D&D does a piss-poor job of doing, and because of that it’s so good we’ve got other games

[dragons-bookshelf]

*cracks knuckles*

All right then. I’ve been meaning to dust off my own D&D sideblog for a while, so here we go with providing some examples. I’m limiting this specifically to other types of fantasy outside of the standard high fantasy and sword & sorcery millieu.

Courtly Romance and Chivalry

There are a number of options for this, and they range from standard secondary world fantasy to more historical and mythological settings. My list here shouldn’t be treated as fully extensive.

Blue Rose - based on the romantic fantasy subgenre, specifically as seen in the works of Tamora Pierce and Mercedes Lackey. A lot of courtly drama and intrigue and swashbuckling, based in a fictional world.

Pendragon - naturally based off of Arthurian mythology, and having a lot of stuff given over to the court of Camelot and the chivalric adventures of the various knights. The same company also has a kickstarter for a spin-off called Paladin: Warriors of Charlemagne that might be worth checking out.

Historical Fantasy

This one’s a bit more prominent as historical settings serve as an inspiration for a variety of fantasy worlds and games, and this of course invariably extends to settings that actually use historical settings with a degree of fantasy elements thrown in. Note that I’m going to emphasise Europe here simply due to greater familiarity with games in that millieu, and as a European myself I’m ill-equipped to judge how accurate or respectful games using other settings actually are.

Because of this, feel free to add other examples in reblogs

Chivalry & Sorcery - one of the early tabletop games inspired by D&D, taking a more pseudo-historical approach. It’s based on 12th century France and strives for a degree of historical accuracy and medieval politics.

World of Darkness, Dark Ages (including Vampire and Mage) - while the World of Darkness has earned some negative attention lately (and for good reason), the dark ages RPGs are still an old favourite of mine. Also worth checking out is Mage: The Sorcerer’s Crusade, set during the Renaissance. The Mage stuff has a really cool open-ended magic system worth checking out.

Ars Magica - this exists along very similar lines to the dark age material above, based around mages and magic-users in a ‘Mythic Europe’ setting. It also has a really cool open-ended magic system, and one of my personal favourites.

[thydungeongal]

Awwww shit heck yes I might want to add to this list but this is a really good starting point

[neddietrix-deactivated20220618]

ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO FIND THE SYSTEM FOR YOU

13th Age RPG

A Song of Ice and Fire RPG

AEG (A Legend of the Five Rings)

Anima; Beyond Fantasy 

Apocalypse World 

Basic Fantasy System

Blades in the Dark

Burn Bryte

Burning Wheel  

Call of Cthulhu

Castles & Crusaders 

Chroniques Oubliées

City of Mist

Cortex 

Cyberpunk 2020

Cypher System

D&D (All Editions)

Das Schwarze Auge

Dragon Age RPG 

Dungeon Crawl Classics 

Dungeon World 

Exalted

FATE System

Fallout

Fantasy AGE 

Fiasco 

GUMSHOE

GURPS 

Gamma World

Hero Games (Champions) 

Hackmaster 

Hârn

Iron Kingdoms 

King Arthur Pendragon

Labyrinth Lord 

Le Donjon de Naheulbeuk

Maid RPG 

Marvel Heroic RPG

Mouse Guard RPG

Munchkin

Mutants and Masterminds

Open Legend

Palladium Games 

Paranoia 

Pathfinder

Pokemon Tabletop

Rolemaster

Runequest

Savage Worlds

Shadowrun 

Star Trek Adventures 

Star Wars 

Starfinder 

Stars Without Number

Swords and Wizardry 

Tavern Tales

The One Ring

The Quiet Year

Tormenta

Traveller RPG

Unisystem

Warhammer

World of Darkness

COMPLETE TABLETOP RPG ARCHIVE

[icebear-san]

[shiggycore]

give me fuyumi todoroki headcanons pls 

[thotwiingz]

fuyumi is a perfectionist to a default, she feels as if because a lot of her life is falling apart that the things she can control MUST be in order

She has trouble crying in front of anyone. From years of having to basically become the mother of the household, feeling as if her emotions were invalid compared to the others around her, believing that there was no time to “feel sorry for herself”

She really likes warm drinks and she adds lots of sugar to them

that being said she likes chocolates a lot! they’re a nice indulgence for her (cholates with caramel fillings would be her favorite)

adores bubble baths! more bubbles the better

she over all likes cutesy, “childish” things because they remind her of a better time and let her imagine of what could’ve been

this is more of a personal one but i believe she’s bisexual who heavily leans towards females!

[starryempathy-blog]

She use to be physically active all of the time as a kid, but started staying indoors a lot as a teen. She’s back to being physically active now, though!

She orders delivery whenever she’s home alone

She doesn’t just have trouble crying in front of others, she bottles up her anger too. She also felt like she wasn’t allowed to get upset because that would upset the person who’d make it worse, so she just let’s it all bottle up and she has bursts of huge upset feelings sometimes.

She teaches sign language to her students

She also reaches out and gets help for students she recognizes signs of abuse in

Is a "DIY” kind of person, putting together own own desks and drawers, and fixing what needs to be fixed

Is extremely body positive!