im a mess @herculescat - Tumblr Blog

tindershwinder

I challenge you up

anonymoustypewriter

Fuck he did it tho

agentmisfire

He spent almost 2 hours coming up with that, honestly the dedication

humorstar

cr: @thepigeongazette

this-is-cthulhu-privilege

trenchcoats-anonymous-deactivat

I can smell the entitlement in the air

volcel-official

Oregon was a mistake

thevoluntaryist-deactivated2018

faedreamer-deactivated20180128

Oregon, what you doin???

earlgreytea68

I think I am most bewildered by how many people seem to think that you spend the rest of the day reeking of gas fumes if you touch a gas pump. Do they think you pour the gas all over yourself…? Why are these gas fumes clinging to you through your day such that you will not be fit to be around other humans…?

antyc67

I didn’t even know there were places left that let you pump your own gas.

ladyoftheteaandblood

@antyc67 in Britain we pump our own.

gehayi

I didn’t know there were any stations left where people don’t pump their own gas. Every gas station I’ve ever seen has been self-service since the 1970s.

aphonicgod

I’ve lived in Central Michigan my entire life and i have never heard of people just….not pumping their gas……i’m so fucking confused.

safitheartist

Oregon: You expect us to pump our own gas like peasants? :/

The entire rest of the world:

shelbygraces

New Jersey is the only other state where it’s actually ILLEGAL to pump the gas yourself

surprisebitch

In Vancouver BC, we pump our own gas. it’s so easy, even a bottom could do it

bob-belcher

introfiant

reblog this post for your pets to actually use the things you buy them

tuhgootoo-gone-deactivated20191

im going to lose my fucking shit over this tweet nothing will ever live up to this

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

being a cashier is so stressful i’ll be like “hi! how are you :^)” and the customer will hand me a screwdriver and say “my granddaughter had a miscarriage this morning” and I’m like …………………..i’m so sorry that’s $2.33

mothdogs

Deadass I once told a customer “Have a nice day!” and he responded that he couldn’t because it was the anniversary of his wife’s murder

itskyalenotkyle

When you drop anything in the bathroom

pizzaotter

Remember when someone said this dude makes real twilight zone shit they were not fucking around

cc-h79

b0ggyb1tch

baby want SNACK

secondlastk

u dont understand how disappointed i am that this dog didnt appear on my dash this year and how hard i tried to find a post that included both pictures

jigglybuff

Heartache (Music Box) - original song by toby fox (Undertale OST) credit to Luna_KB for the music sheet

i feel like that windmill man in ocarina of time

9gag

note-inthepages-deactivated2014

Accurate post is accurate.

datrump-deactivated20170405

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

thegirlinthesea-deactivated2015

Lame

yeahmicah

For those in retail.

tamtoee

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

mulderhatesqueequeg-deactivated

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

winmu

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water). Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

novitasnovus-deactivated2014030

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

mysteampunkheart

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

failedhellos-blog

That last bit of commentary though.

defydamage

You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.

a cute baby

x

what on earth

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating

tchaikovsky is proud

tinker-tanner

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.