Forgive me, I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Most days I write too little and sleep too much, and this is all because the paper gets too wet from tears.
Ink and tears, they don't work well together, you know?
I miss you and we never really spoke, but that's because we never really had hope.
You and I never trusted anyone to hold our hearts, and while we passed through eachothers lives like a summer breeze,
I wish you were here to watch every sunset with me.
Forgive me, I don't really understand why anymore...
Why am I still here thinking and breathing and crying and not really eating?
Why are you gone? Is it because you felt like you didn't belong?
I don't feel like I belong, either, but I remain here because...
I guess I see that by being here I have this opportunity to exist,
and that beyond existing I want to live, truly live.
For what, though, I am still trying to figure that out,
Which I guess is what keeps me here.
I don't really want to be here, but if I'm gone then who will be there to tell the ones that feel as you did--and I do-- that the world is good?
Even in the darkness I have to be the light.
Forgive me for not joining you.