( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) @herondalecaves - Tumblr Blog

me [searching the beach with my child]: sorry honey, doesn't look like there's any sand dollars left

child: can't the ocean just make more of them?

me: and cause inflation? destroy the sand economy? jesus christ Tiffany, use your head

Minerva McGonagall purses her lips and shakes her head. The course work is laden with shield charms and hexes and poisons, so unlike the Hogwarts she attended years ago.

We are training children to be soldiers, she thinks, but she carries on anyway.

James Potter sits in front of her, telling her that he’s turned down Puddlemere United and will turn down the next three offers he’s sure to receive. Mr. Potter, we’ve worked on your Chaser prospects since your Fourth Year–

It’s okay, Professor. There’s more noble things for a Pureblood to pursue than the World Cup.

It’s with a heavy heart that she marks “No Prospects” on his career trajectory report. That is not how James Potter should be remembered.

Lily Evans asks for combat training and ways to apply Transfiguration to more practical offensive and defensive techniques. Yes of course, Miss Evans, but we’re here for career advice–

It’s okay, Professor. You don’t have to lie to me. No one will hire a Mudblood anymore and I don’t want to waste your time. But I really do need those techniques, if you don’t mind.

Minerva McGonagall purses her lips and wipes tears from her eyes as she marks Lily’s report.

We are training children to be soldiers, she thinks, and she is right.

The transition from stone corridors to burning muggle villages is too easy. Each trap that James and Sirius set for Filch was child’s play, mere practice for the traps they now set for Death Eaters and, at times, Voldemort himself. Remus and Peter were already accustomed to playing lookout– they do the same now, only the stakes are higher than detention.

Lily Evans is screaming, her hands keeping pressure to the spot on James Potter’s side that grows darker with red by the second. Sirius Black reaches them before she has the chance to and lifts James onto his shoulders, running out of the thick of battle with what she can only hope isn’t James’ corpse. The next curses that Lily Evans sends out her wand next are bright green, and her two targets don’t get up.

Minerva McGonagall wipes her brow, catching her breath behind a fallen wall before rushing towards the nearest Death Eater.

We have trained children to be soldiers, she knows, and she doesn’t think she can bare the truth much longer.

Remus Lupin accepts the rags he’s forced to wear underground now. Peter Pettigrew won’t stargaze like he used to for fear that he’ll be the first to spot a Dark Mark. Sirius Black is bored without James Potter, but James is hidden somewhere with Lily Potter and they haven’t been seen for months.

We have trained children to die, she thinks, and she prays that she is wrong.

It’s November 1, 1981 and Minerva McGonagall stares straight ahead, watching. Waiting. Everyone is celebrating and no one seems to realize that children have died.

She sees the baby for the first time and he is alive, scarred but alive, despite all odds. But no one else seems to realize that children have died. Children she taught and trained and fought beside have died and she feels complicit in their slaughter.

Minerva McGonagall remembers the children who have died. She remembers the students who didn’t return from summer break, the students who simply stop showing up to class, and the students who fall to the Dark Arts somewhere along the way. She remembers the students who graduate and forego the lives they deserve in order to prevent other children from dying. These are the children who are too young at eleven to be exposed to fear and are too young at twenty-one to be left for death, and these are the children whom she has helped raise.

She attends the funeral and her only comfort is that there are only two coffins, not three. Peter Pettigrew is dead, but there is no body to bury. Sirius Black is in Azkaban but deserves to be dead. Remus Lupin is alive, but you’d never be able to tell that from the look in his eye.

We have trained children to be soldiers, she knows. We have trained children to die, she thinks, and she is right.

moeszyslakofficial-deactivated2

i’m like heinz doofenshmirtz because i, too, like being petty, singing off-key, and over-sharing my deepest traumas for no discernible reason

syntax-forest

I also think of myself as evil but am at best a minor inconvenience.

Sometimes I Make Memes To Hide My Inner Suffering -A trilogy featuring me

just-shower-thoughts

We live in a world where trained cops can panic and act on impulse, but untrained civilians must remain calm with a gun in their face

thatsthat24

Inktober Challenge

I was asked to come up with an art prompt for each day of this month, one of my fave times of the year, and I actually really like that idea! So here’s a stab at it!

Day 1 (Today): A character (from a fandom or OC) and what they look like on Sep. 30th and THEN on Oct. 1st

Day 2: A Pokemon dressed up as another Pokemon for Halloween

Day 3: A Disney character drawn in Tim Burton style

Day 4: Two traditional Halloween-ish creatures doing a fusion dance

Day 5: A scene illustrated and based off your favorite fall-based song

Day 6: Alexander Hamilton… and Zombies

Day 7: Peridot is going to have to be taught a lot about this time of year. Draw one of those moments.

Day 8: It’s the Great Pumpkin King, Charlie Brown!

Day 9: What if everything changed colors this time of year, not just the leaves?

Day 10: A character or characters from your fave TV show getting sorted into their respective Hogwarts houses

Day 11: Halloween-y monsters telling other monsters scary ghost stories about us.

Day 12: The 12 Days of Christmas, but it’s the 12 Days of Halloween

Day 13: The World of Trick or Treating: The Epic Anime Special

Day 14: A Disney princess dress, that is either beautifully reimagined for Fall, or reimagined for Halloween

Day 15: Your preferred Marvel/DC superhero(es) dressed up as another Marvel/DC superhero for Halloween

Day 16: An epic monster or costume based off an item of food (either holiday food or just any food you want)

Day 17: Two characters who you ship. One has come down with a seasonal cold, and the other is taking care of them.

Day 18: The kids from Stranger Things just trying to have a normal Halloween

Day 19: Reimagined poster art for the 90s movie, Hocus Pocus

Day 20: Edward (Insert any other random item here)hands!

Day 21: A new brand of candy inspired by the character of your choice

Day 22: Draw yourself as the monster of your choosing

Day 23: Characters from The Last Airbender or Legend of Korra using their abilities to cheat at getting more candy

Day 24: Harry Potter, Ron, Hermione… and one random character from a completely different fandom universe who would not be a good addition to the team

Day 25: Pokemon trainers trying to capture a Halloween monster instead of your average pocket monster

Day 26: Characters from any cartoon series swapping animation design with characters from another cartoon series, and they’re all terrified (or at the very least, miffed) about it

Day 27: Characters from any show replacing the roles of the entire Scooby Doo gang

Day 28: Draw your OTP dressed in coordinating, matching Halloween costumes

Day 29: A typically dark or sullen character (either Halloween-ish or otherwise) simply enjoying a Fall day of pumpkin-spiced everything

Day 30: A typically innocent or cheerful character you would be surprised actually likes getting very dark for Halloween

Day 31: Any character(s) (either from a fandom or OC) and what they would be dressed as for Halloween, in the process of trick-or-treating for the evening, with a message of Happy Halloween!!

Hope you all enjoy these and they inspire you in some way!! Really looking forward to seeing these!!

fabelyn

Yuu really wants Mika to drink his blood: the thrilling saga

In which there is no doubt Yuu really liked Mika drinking his blood.

Stage 01: A wingman’friend’ tries to set it up, but it fails.

Stage 02: He attempts suggesting it himself, but is cockblocked.

Stage 03: ‘Casually’ goes to him and suggest it again. Another failure.

Stage 04: Exasperated at the failure, he accidentally reveals jealousy

Stage 05: To be continued possibly in a M rated fanfic near you

skeptic-manila

Pretty Mika for your dash (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

thisiswhymomworries

writing smut like

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

3tno-moved-deactivated20190902

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

thisiswhymomworries

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick, erection

tier 2 (generally accepted): arousal, length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun

kingbokuroo-deactivated20180926

Everything was hot. Hanamaki pressed matsukawa against the brick wall behind the night club they went to a few hours ago. Both of them were a little bit drunk; but not too drunk, so they could enjoy this. Hanamaki moaned into matsukawa’s ear and then started to kiss his neck. Matsukawa’s custard launcher twitched at that, his neck was one of his most sensitive parts. Matsukawa wanted to feel hanamaki’s heat-seeking moisture middle too, so he turned around, his piss weasle now tightly pressed against hanamaki’s tan banana. They both moaned together, their flesh flutes both leaking now. “Pull your pants down, I want to see it.” Hanamaki panted. “Want to see what, makki?” Matsukawa asked in a teasing tone. “Your.. your schlong dongadoodle mattsun, please..” Matsukawa moaned at that erotic sentence and pulled his pants of and then makki’s. Both of their spawn hammers were flushed red. Hanamaki didn’t waste any more time and grabbed matsukawa’s luigi. Matsukawa looked into hanamaki’s eyes; normally they were shining but right now they were dark, filled with lust and need, with passion and love. He pressed matsukawa’s baby arm against his own, he loved coming off like this. They always managed to come together. “Mattsun..” Hanamaki’s whimpered. “I’m so sorry, I’m so close already. Your wing wang doodle just feels too good.” “Same here..” Matsukawa grunted. A few more strokes and it took both over them over the edge, their whoopie sticks shooting strings of white fluid against each other’s shirts. Luckily they both had things to change with them; always prepared for the worst. They both panted, cleaned themselves up and put on the new clothes. “Do you know how much I love your single barreled pump action bollock?” Matsukawa whispered to hanamaki. “I know. And you already know how much I love your meter long King Kong dong.”

devilcouldweep

@schwing-alicious meter long King Kong dong///

schwing-alicious

Is that Mink’s

devilcouldweep

Yes because Mink is thicc 👌👌😏

schwing-alicious

👀👉👌

devilcouldweep

Oya oya oya? 😏

schwing-alicious

We are not going to heaven for this

herondalecaves

i WHEEZE

mikasahoge

Reblog if the Yuu-chan on the left looks just as beautiful as the Yuu-chan on the right

Bonus

Guren version

rindartist

Omake

parahost-mikayuus

I am horrible and the combo of the size there and the fact the drawing looks a lot like when I first tried making my own stuffed animals as a kid… my brain went…