So this is in response to this psa which I just saw on my dash. I want it to be clear I don’t hate anyone who thinks like that, nor do I really want to start drama, but I just need to say this for myself:
If you agree with that PSA 100%, or think it’s legit to prioritize your own interactions over someone’s safety, please unfollow me.
I’m not interested in dealing with people who won’t listen if I tell them someone has abused me in a RP community (whether or not you asked me to know). I’m not interested in dealing with people who won’t listen if someone else tells them there is a problematic person in the community. I don’t give a single fuck if you think its petty or whatever; obviously it matters enough to that person for them to warn you or let you know. I want people to tell me who’s caused them real problems in the community so I can keep them and myself safe bc I consider my RP partners my friends and that’s what friends do.
Now, is pressuring you to stop interacting with someone shitty? Yeah, it is. If someone’s pressuring or harassing you to drop someone, they’re obviously a problem and should be dealt with accordingly. But 80% of the time when someone tells you that someone else is problematic, or at least tries to make you aware of it, they’er doing it with your best interest in mind. They don’t want you hurt, they don’t want you to deal with what they dealt with. Even if what they say is wrong or isn’t as “bad” as you think it is, they’re still trying to help you.
Whether or not I experienced abuse first hand doesn’t matter. Other people matter. Other people’s rp safety matters. Am I their “mother” or “guardian” for wanting to help their experience be safe? Fuck no. Wanting to help create a safe place DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE MOTHERING SOMEONE. It means you are helping people feel safe enough to write/be creative in the first place. Look at it this way: if they don’t feel safe, do you think you’ll have people to roleplay with? Fuck no. No one wants to rp in an environment they feel unsafe in.
I’ve had to do it with someone who abused me and one of my close friends before. I’ve had to do it plenty of times, and let me tell you, unsafe environments are not conductive to creativity. EVEN WITH blocking someone’s username, blocking them, so on so forth as that PSA mentions, they will still pop up. They will still be there. Seeing that grey x-kit extension blocked box reminds you that people don’t give a shit enough about you to listen to your warnings, and that is disheartening.
I’m not saying you HAVE to stop rping with someone that your partner tells you is problematic. I am saying you should at least be fucking aware so you don’t hurt your friends or yourself in the process.
I’m not asking you to be my mother if I’m telling you someone hurt me in the past. I am not trying to control you when I tell you that your RP partner has hurt my friends. I am not trying to force you to do anything when I say you should be wary of x person you are rping with. I am trying to help you and help myself feel safer.
It’s very shitty to say “unless that person abuses me, I won’t believe you or respect your own abuse.” How would you like it if someone said that to you over something you took serious?
It doesn’t matter if you think their abuse is real, or if there’s proof or not, or if you think it’s just a “small spat” versus their “its a huge issue.” Fucking up happens, yeah, and we all grow as people, sure, but you still need to be aware of fuck ups so you can save yourself because surprise, not a lot of people in this community change their behavior or are honest enough to do so.
So please, if you agree with that PSA, don’t follow me. I don’t want to roleplay with someone I know won’t even consider my safety over their convenience to roleplay with someone.
P. S.: Authorities IRL don’t help you with shit unless they consider it enough of an issue in their terms to be worth their time. So that’s something to note, too, from someone who’s had stalkers before.