Where’s everyone going? Bingo?

Sydney, 24 I merely exist.

[adderall-juice]

me when they call my name at mcdonals (i am approaching the counter)

[blogspede]

here you go sir

[adderall-juice]

thank you

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Your pets only love you because you feed them”

Yeah well that’s also how your relationship with your parents starts out but more stuff happens after that doesn’t it

[ymawgat]

your car: *bounces back and forth, defeated, its hood swinging by a mere thread*

my car: *triumphantly leaps six feet in the air, spraying hubcaps in victorious fervor*

[mousenemy]

What?

[chromatic-king]

[madredhattie]

turtle school

[madredhattie]

[hotvampireadjacent]

Um

[bruzum]

[otthonzulles]

i'd rather slit my own throat with a scissor

[pmamtraveller]

The Pearl With The Girl Earring by Olaf Falafel

[silima]

it's always funny to me when ppl act like it's somehow incestuous for characters who consider each other found family/chosen family/whatever u wanna call the trope to date each other, and it's funny for many reasons, but most specifically it's funny because irl when you meet a person and get really attached and decide that you want to be family with them, there's a very popular legally recognized way of doing that & it's called marriage

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Marriage promotes incest because then you end up having sex with a family member

[tbdagent]

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

[tbdagent]

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

[tbdagent]

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

[tbdagent]

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

[zombiezinmydreams]

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[liquidstar]

yknow its interesting how something can impact one demographic in a completely different way than everyone else. in the exorcist when the demon starts speaking in greek, to most people its creepy. but if youre greek and you suddenly start hearing the demon speak perfect fucking greek its genuinely the biggest scare of the movie. you just do not expect to ever hear your language in american movies so it catches you so badly off guard, it feels like the movie is talking directly to you

[liquidstar]

the first time my dad saw it, it was with his american friends. and when she started speaking greek he turned to one of them and was like "re malaka did you hear that in english?"

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[joshlovesyou]

[salmonballer]

a masterlock? bro you are practically free-use

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[paranormal-taters]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD

[lakevida]

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

[lakevida]

your majesty what is upppp