hello, little bean

Cyleen, 28. Writing down the things I don't want to forget—soft moments, hard lessons, and everything in between.

[heyitscyln]

Trentahin

Ang hirap kausap ng ibang trentahin 'no? I mean not a bad thing but they are resting na kaagad at this hour or pagdating ng 9pm, sleeping time na? Hahahaha

[free-my-mindd]

Some people never deserved access to me and they won’t ever get that again.

[i3c]

[icaseybaybee]

[undertheinfluencex1]

and sometimes all i want is a person who feels like home, where i can be tired, soft, quiet, messy and still feel safe enough to rest without being too much

[black-hearted-bat-deactivated20]

[heyitscyln]

Sometimes I weird myself out. 😭

What do you mean I still show up to job interviews even when I already have a feeling I'm not gonna pass... or worse, I don't even think I'd like the job that much?

Like??? Why am I here? HAHAHA.

I don't know if it's curiosity. Or maybe I just don't like the idea of leaving a "what if" unanswered. Maybe I just want to know how far I'll get. Maybe I just enjoy collecting experiences. Or maybe I'm trying to prove to myself that I still have choices.

It's funny because I don't even get my hopes up anymore and I just go.

Sometimes I leave thinking, "Yeah, that wasn't for me." Other times I surprise myself. But either way, I still end up showing up.

Maybe it's not about getting the job after all. Maybe it's just my weird little way of reminding myself that life is still moving and so am I.

Or maybe... I really am just doing it for fun. I honestly can't tell anymore. Hahaha!

[heyitscyln]

I'm finally letting myself give up on people who only remember I exist when it's convenient for them.

I used to tell myself, "They're probably just busy." "Be understanding." "Don't take it personally." But I think I became too understanding that I started making excuses for people who never really considered how their actions made me feel.

I've realized I don't want the bare minimum anymore. A random "hi," telling me you're home after disappearing the whole day... and then what? What am I supposed to do with that? It doesn't make me feel close to you. It just reminds me that you were perfectly fine not talking to me until it fit your schedule.

Maybe I'm just tired.

Tired of always initiating. Tired of always understanding. Tired of people asking things from me but never taking the time to understand what I'm trying to say. Tired of being dismissed, then expected to move on like nothing happened.

The hardest part is realizing that not everyone is capable of accountability. Some people will hurt you, make you question yourself, and still never see what they did wrong.

I'm slowly accepting that I can't keep begging people to value me. If losing me doesn't bother them then maybe I should stop letting it bother me too.

[icaseybaybee]

[belmasworld]

[heyitscyln]

I remember my ate's unsolicited advice: don't like someone too much. Sometimes they won't like you back, and if God doesn't intend for you to end up with them, you'll only end up getting hurt.

I'm slowly learning to let people go. I don't want to beg for attention or wonder why I'm only remembered when it's convenient.

I deserve a love that chooses me too.

[heyitscyln]

Been getting invited to interviews with big companies but I’ve never landed the HR position I wanted. The most recent rejection I received was from Grab. I’m okay with the rejections actually pero somehow they still make me sad huehue.

Still, I’m choosing to see each one as practice and motivation to do better. Maybe one day, the right opportunity will finally say yes to me pero sabi ni co-star eh not this month. Huhu

[heyitscyln]

Who would've thought that after three days after posting this, I'd receive a call from the company I least expected to hear from?

The recruiter called and told me I was selected.

It still feels surreal tbh. I never imagined I'd be joining one of the nicest companies here in the Philippines and it's the TWT! I'll finally get the international experience I've been wanting for the longest time.

I guess this is your reminder that not every interview you overthink ends in rejection hehi. Sometimes the opportunities you think you've already lost are actually finding their way to you. Thank you, Lord and St. Jude! ✨

[brian4rmthe6]

[heyitscyln]

Been getting invited to interviews with big companies but I’ve never landed the HR position I wanted. The most recent rejection I received was from Grab. I’m okay with the rejections actually pero somehow they still make me sad huehue.

Still, I’m choosing to see each one as practice and motivation to do better. Maybe one day, the right opportunity will finally say yes to me pero sabi ni co-star eh not this month. Huhu

[nxv]

you did exactly what I told you i was scared of

[heyvamin]

i hope wherever you are, you won the war, the one i couldn’t help you win

[dafancyuhinspiration]