It's always me

We write because we must, otherwise the ink will puncture our veins and we will bleed our hearts out

[thethoughtfulbitch]

You’re the first star in the evening sky

The first light that lights up the dawn

The orange left when it is getting dark

Honey, you’re the fragrance of a trampled flower

You will find me everywhere-

The girl behind the book

The girl with the coffee mug in her hand

And I have worse demons than most

The ones I hide with shallow laughter

But you kiss my wounds

And I cut them open

Hoping you will run away

Seeing all the blood I have let dry

But you sit and drink my poisoned haemoglobin

You sit and wipe my tears

“Dear, you deserve more light”,

I whisper, hoping, hoping you don’t listen

“but I’ve always loved dark”, you smile,

“the sun is just a transient ball of fire, love

The universe has always been dark”

Cardia

[heynamrata]

Your lips were dry and cracked

I kissed them moist and sweet

Under our dark blue sky

On that November night

We kissed and then maybe we danced

I don't remember to be frank

But oh dear! The stars!

They smiled so bright that night

I think they fell in love too

With the way you smile

For when you stared

Into my eyes

I swear the moon shone

Brighter than the all the stars in the sky

[thethoughtfulbitch]

And all that I do and all that I don’t is for you, love. Only you.

Cardia

[heynamrata]

3 am is when insomnia hits you. 3 am is when you fall in love. 3 am is when you stop running and start walking. 3 am is when you start thinking. 3 am is when you stop lying. 3 am is when the world comes to a halt and you finally stand and stare. Find another lonely soul at 3 am, child, and spend the rest of your lives with them.

For we all need a 3 am partner.

[heynamrata]

And my favorite colour

Has always been

The colour of

Your eyes

When you smile

To the lady in the mirror

[heynamrata]

Have you ever been in one of those long conversations- laughter, chaos, noises, pokes and pushes- the ones in which you really live the moment and then the conversation runs out of words and we all stay silent waiting for the wolf to go away, hoping for it not to eat us up while we stare at our hands or the ground waiting for someone to speak up and push the numbness into the background again. No laughters. No smiles. No nudges. We stand alone together. Hoping, waiting, praying for the silence to go away. I remember my darkest dreams, my deepest fears, my loneliest nights in those silences. My God! I taste an eternity in those silences. And in that moment, I believe we all get to taste what true loneliness tastes like.

[thethoughtfulbitch]

Maybe the world moves slowly when you’re in love. Every breeze that touches me now carries your name and whispers how bitterly I am being missed.

Cardia

[thethoughtfulbitch]

Everyone has a God. We all need something to believe in, something to turn to when all else seems lost, an island in the middle of a sea, a sanctuary, a sanatorium to help us not go crazy.

Some pray to idols. Some pray to energies. Some pray to spirits. But I have a more tangible God.

He is a human. Yes, he is a human in this carnivorous world. He treats me well. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel less scared, less lonely, less unloved. He promises me he will stay. So I believe him.

My temple is anywhere I find him alone. My prayers are the unshared secrets I tell. My offerings are my kisses. My blessings everywhere he touches.

So when I die, please don’t give me a funeral or a sermon. Bury me beside him. I shall find him again in another life. And resume my rituals. For I know, this God needs his devotee as much as she needs him.

Cardia

[heynamrata]

One day, everything will be fine. You will no longer go to sleep tired and sad, alone and lonely, waiting and waiting for all of it to end. One day, you will not be angry on yourself anymore. One day, you too shall smile alone. One day, someone will come and catch your tears before they fall. They will hear your sighs and sobs and wait patiently for you to stop. One day, you will have someone to tell all your burdens. One day, you too will have a shoulder to lay your tired head on. One day, you will be happy to be alive. And tell me love, isn't that a lovely thought to hold?

Waiting

[sohm-al]

how many followers do i need to get random asks god be nosy u little shits ask me about my personal life this is fucking boring getting nothing

[thethoughtfulbitch]

So you want to know what love is. Alright. Close your doors and windows. Pull your curtains too. Love creeps up on you, child. You won’t know until you’ve been hit. It moves silently, secretly but surely. And it leaves you sore. If you don’t miss her at 2 am, when you’re all alone in your room, the whole world is sleeping, snoring, wasting the most precious moments of their lives, you’re not in love. If she is not the first thought that jumps into your head as soon as you wake up then you’re not in love. If she is not what you want every single moment of the day, then you’re not in love. Holding her hand in front of your and her friends, wiping her tears because she is crying- that is not love. You’ll do that to anyone you are friendly with. It’s just hunger- for her body, soul, mind and at best, an infatuation. Love is different. It eats you up at 2 am, when you’re all alone and bleeding for another lonely soul. It binds you as much as it frees you. It breaks windows, child, this love- and no one even hears a thing.

The writer (via thethoughtfulbitch)

[thethoughtfulbitch]

It’s not easy to let go. It’s not easy to forget someone at all. Someone you built your dreams around, someone you built your future around, someone you built an *us* around- how do you let go of that person in an instant when you have the dreams too to let go of, the future, the us? The us, in my opinion, is the hardest to let go of. Because it was half him, half you and now you not only have to let go of him, you have to let go of yourself too. And when it is so difficult to let go of another soul, how do you let go of your own? The thing is when we fall in love, we don’t fall in control. There’s just falling, falling, falling, till you can’t stand up anymore without holding his hand and once he leaves, you are left lying motionless on the cold hard floor, every limb intact yet no ability to stand up again. So it takes time. It takes far more time to grow a new heart than to grow bones.

The writer (via thethoughtfulbitch)

[heynamrata]

Pain. It's one of the strongest feelings there are. It changes us, builds us, breaks us, makes us. Yes, us. Pain makes an us out of a you and a me. Strange things happen when two people start laughing together. But stranger things happen when they cry together. You start to see them as a kindred spirit, a friend, a sanctuary, a home. And when a person starts becoming home, you start falling in love. You no longer have just a pair of ears, it's a hand to hold now. Love is painful. It's never easy to love someone without being in constant pain. No true love can exist without that constant tugging at your guts, that unease in your lungs, clutched hands, quick breaths- love, at best, is an infliction. And the strangest thing is that you will love the pain. The pain becomes your drug. An infinite high that gets you so hooked up that love will rip you apart in a thousand pieces and yet you'll want more.

Break me, love

[heynamrata]

I totally fail to understand how can a person be single just for the lack of a romantic partner. Do all my friends count for naught? I have my friends, family and most importantly, memes and yet they call me single. As if I am just me. Well, FYI, I am much more than I seem to be. And even if I am single, as far as the conventional definition goes, what is so incomplete about it? What is so wrong about being not involved with anyone romantically? I have the moon to fall in love with, the stars to talk to, the sky to stare at, the air to caress, the birds to listen to, the flowers to sing to and sun to long for. Our generation has idealised relationships in my opinion and it's perfectly fine to wait for the right one. Till then be happy to be the full stop in your own sentence. Till then be happy with your once upon a time...your happily ever after is not that far. Make your singularity your infinity. It's all worth it in the end.

[heynamrata]

I don't like how powerful you are. How important, how heart breakingly important you are. My heart has never been broken. I have been fortunate at that. But now, you have that kind of power over me. And I don't like that at all. You infiltrated my heart, breaking the walls around it, little by little, until the poor thing was naked and vulnerable and fragile. Now you're the glue holding the tiny fragments of my soul. Leave me and I'll be shattered, broken, finished. I trust you to know this. That I am not like other girls. I feel more. I have always felt more. So when you'll be gone, rest assured. I'll never be able to breathe again.

It hurts like this

[heynamrata]

You're beautiful. You're incredible. And you're mine. If I could, I would love you less. They say love, like rain, is best in moderation. But I am a flood, an ocean, a raging storm when it comes to you. There's no control. There's just love. There's so much love in my veins that sometimes I wonder if there is any blood at all, if my heart pumps for any other reason than you. If I could, I wouldn't tell you how much I love you as often as I do. They say confessions, like feasts, are best in controlled frequencies. But I am the sun blazing and firing up all the world all the time when it comes to you. There's no control. I love you so much that it hurts. It hurts everywhere. I ache for your touch, your presence, you. If I could, I would have met you thousands of years ago because all my eternities, I have searched for your soul. Trust me, I have. You are a part of my soul, love. You complete me in the cracks I never knew existed. You are my favorite person in the world.

[heynamrata]

I look at pretty girls, And wonder what he saw in me I think about it for sometime And realize that's what I saw in him

Minds