“I am beautiful from being tainted by the dust of the remains that I used to love.
— “Immoral Beauty” from Infernal Feelings by anastasiasyah
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“I am beautiful from being tainted by the dust of the remains that I used to love.
— “Immoral Beauty” from Infernal Feelings by anastasiasyah
I’ve only ever been
the weapon that Cain wielded -
it has to be around here somewhere, right?
It’s only ever then
that we swallow the stain -
it must be a form of prayer, bright.
When the soil asks for my salt,
I don’t know if it wants my sweat or my tears.
I don’t know if it wants resentment or resilience;
bitterness, or brilliance but
I know it wants the focus of my fears.
The canyons call for carbon,
hoping for a husk to harden -
what could grow in its garden?
The hills howl for hydrogen -
aching for an amen again and again
but whacked the wheels of when.
When the atmosphere asks for my asylum,
I don’t know if it wants my armor or my anthem.
I don’t know if it wants my vulnerability or my value;
my tempest or true but
I know it runs the risk of ransom.
In English we say, "I miss you," but in poetry we say, "Your absence is a hollow ache, a silent echo that reverberates through my days and nights."
I walk through the spaces we once shared, and the world seems dimmer, the colors muted. The laughter that once filled the air is now a distant memory, a ghostly whisper that lingers at the edge of my consciousness. The scent of your presence still haunts the rooms, a lingering trace that clings to the corners, refusing to be forgotten.
The days stretch long and empty, each moment a reminder of your absence. The sun rises and sets, casting long shadows that stretch across the floor, mimicking the void within me. The stars at night seem dimmer, their light no longer enough to chase away the darkness that has settled in my heart.
I find myself searching for you in the little things: in the way the wind rustles the leaves, in the quiet moments of dawn, in the fleeting smiles of strangers. Each reminder a bittersweet pang, a reminder of what was and what is no longer.
Your absence is a melody that plays softly in the background of my life, a tune that I cannot escape. It is the silence that follows a symphony, the quiet that lingers after the music has stopped. It is a weight that I carry with me, a part of me that is missing, a piece of my soul that is incomplete.
In poetry, I say, "You are the unspoken verse, the missing line in my song, the empty space in my heart that only you can fill."
Time to Time
There are different kinds of crazy in my world.
There's the head crazy, the heart crazy, and the soul crazy.
The head crazy ticks and murmurs and rings.
The heart crazy is a longing, an ache of fluttering wings.
The soul crazy, well, she howls and dreams and sings.
And, from tIme to time, I am at least one of these things.
Azuki Lynn
HOME SHAPED HEART
I am making a home,
Within myself.
And it is tough.
As I grow older
And winters become rough.
I worry if the foundation,
Is strong enough
To hold up
All versions of
me, from all pasts
If my walls should be
stark and high.
Or have
More windows
To look at the stars
The night casts.
If i will be able to
Withstand impending rain.
Now that I know,
Joy is a momentary flash flood,
Upon a barren desert of pain.
I acknowledge the worry
Hold it close
And tell it to rest.
I want my home
Within me
To be a sanctuary.
A place to rest
When I return
From adventures of life.
I want to walk from room to room
And in the vaults of my heart
With a song upon my lips
For the beauty
That I may find.
I want to welcome
Reluctant love,
Enough,
To feel, finally at home.
I need to clear out spaces
For gardens with butterflies.
I want a waterfall of giggles
To wash away all grime.
I want a heart shaped home
With bricks, of gratitude
And a roof, of everything enough.
I will put soft warm lights
Outside the door.
The kind that make,
The lonely feel safe
From harshness of glare.
I will build my home
Inside the vales of gentleness,
Where the breeze,
On a warm summer afternoon
Will be much needed
Respite for my friends.
I have to be gone for long.
Into the frightening silent,
wilderness of self.
To pick out pieces of beauty
From dangerous woods.
To gather and to rake.
To draw out a map
And a plan for
My home shaped heart,
To house all my goods.
I have the strength,
I have to remind myself
As I pave the path back
To myself.
I will make my home
Within myself,
From silver curtains
Of full moon nights.
And the quietning that comes
From a dawn about to break in love.
Even if takes all my will and
The milk of my bones.
It is the hardest thing
To make,
I know,
Because I have to do it alone.
.
.
.
.
El mismo de siempre.
La felicidad es una ocasión especial que no reconoce credos ni razas nunca margina a nadie, incluso ni a ella misma al sentirse ignorada, al entregarsé. De modo que nunca será tardé para recibirla como una visita intempestiva ni aún porque llegará tarde. "Nunca cierres la puerta a la felicidad."
— Juan Francisco Palencia.
concept of rizq always amazes me, you travel miles to breathe the air, eat the grain, pet a cat, that was just meant for you ‘cause what’s meant for you always finds you.
I keep forgetting that silence is golden cuz noise keeps distracting us from antique treasures and unrevealed epiphanies.
-2023