Hard Facts - Soft Skills

Hard Facts - Soft Skills is a licensed, certified, strengths-based, leadership development company that provides coaching, training, consulting, & workshop seminars to engage leaders, managers and staff members to positively impact company performance, profitability and organizational efficiency – by developing the hard facts about soft skills. Hard Facts Soft Skills

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Emotional Intelligence: BUILDING TRUST

Part 17 of 17  

Being trustworthy and ethical when working and relating to others; ability to establish a bond of trust with others 

 People with this competence

Share information, including about themselves (appropriate self-disclosure)

Are willing to be influenced; are able to change their minds as a result of talking with others

Treat people fairly, consistently and with respect

Genuinely care about others

Maintain high standards of personal integrity

Behave in accordance with their expressed beliefs, values and commitments

Deliver on their promises and commitments

  People lacking this competence 

Are unable to establish open, candid, trusting relationships

Have developed a reputation for lacking integrity

Make promises they are not able or do not intend to keep

Behave erratically and treat people poorly

Undermine others for their own gain

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Emotional Intelligence: CATALYZING CHANGE

Part 16 of 17

Initiating, managing and leading change

People with this competence

Recognize the need for change, take ownership of change initiatives and remove barriers to change

Challenge the status quo; stand up to opposition and resistance

Champion the change and enlist others in its pursuit, making a compelling argument for the change

Model the change expected of others

Give people detailed advanced information about possible future changes

Demonstrate the mental agility to consider new approaches

People lacking this competence

Are happy with the status quo; do not recognize the need for change

Have a vocabulary that often includes the “way we’ve always done things around here

Overtly and covertly resist change

Fails to prepare for the future

Lacks the ability to maintain an open mind about change and what it might bring

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Emotional Intelligence: VISIONARY LEADERSHIP

Part 15 of 17

Inspiring, guiding and mobilizing individuals and groups; articulating a clear, compelling and motivating vision for the future

  People with this competence

Articulate and stimulate enthusiasm for a clear, compelling vision

Have the ability to bring people together; step forward to lead as needed, regardless of position

Create a sense of belonging in a group, creating an emotional bond or spirit that makes people feel they are part of something larger than themselves

Challenge the status quo, inspire a shared vision, empower others to act, set an example (“model the way”) and “encourage the heart”

Articulate a sense of common purpose beyond the day-to-day tasks, making work exciting, and inspiring others to follow

  People lacking this competence

Do not have a clear vision for the future of the team or organization

Fail to maintain a long-term, big-picture view of the organization and its future needs and opportunities

Work independently; fail to build coalitions; sometimes work against the group

Cannot arouse a passion in others for a common goal or direction; fail to marshal the people or the resources to accomplish a goal or task

Ignore others as a source of support

Are often too opinionated to work with others

Fail to see the value and importance of getting others on board to accomplish a goal or task

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Emotional Intelligence: Communication

Part 14 of 17 

 Listening deeply and openly and sending clear, credible, convincing messages

 People with this competence 

Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning their message

Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly

Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully

Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news as well as good

Communicate clearly, and in a logical, organized manner

Speak effectively in front of large groups

Listen to feedback without becoming defensive

People lacking this competence

Fail to listen, interrupt, and find fault with what other say

Are difficult to connect with, are unapproachable and others may prefer to avoid bringing them news

Tend to communicate with ridicule, threats or emotional outbursts

Lack consideration and tact when expressing opinions

Fail to ask others for their opinions

Are unwilling to change their opinions

May express their ideas or opinions in a dogmatic manner

Are unable to establish rapport with others

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Emotional Intelligence: POWERFUL INFLUENCE

Part 13 of 17 

Wielding effective tactics for persuasion

People with this competence

• Are skilled at winning people over

• Fine-tune presentations to appeal to the listener

• Use complex strategies like indirect influence to build consensus and support

• Are masterful storytellers, grabbing the attention of others and imparting information that grabs attention and makes people want to hear more

• Orchestrate dramatic events to effectively make a point

• Are able to persuade, convince or impact others to get them to support their agenda

People lacking this competence

• Work independently and at times, against the group

• Do not leave a positive or memorable impression

• Are ineffective in persuading or convincing others of a common vision and direction

• Do not respond to their audience, even tend to alienate

• Are unable to successfully defend their ideas if challenged

• Fail to inspire confidence or earn respect

• Come across as opinionated and dull

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Emotional Intelligence: Developing Others

Part 12 of 17

Sensing other people’s developmental needs and bolstering their abilities

People with the competence           

Show a genuine personal interest in helping their employees and others improve their performance

Understand the goals, strengths, and weaknesses of others

Give timely and constructive feedback so people can find their way to excellence

Are natural mentors and/or coaches

Provide others with knowledgeable support and meaningful, often “stretch” assignments

Foster long-term learning and development of others

People lacking this competence

Don’t provide instructions or details to help people be successful or improve in the long run

Fail to provide the necessary feedback intended to help others learn and grow

If they give feedback; its usually negative, and the intent is to hurt or belittle others

Refuse to delegate and five others opportunities for stretch assignments and growth

Are unwilling to spend time with people who need their help

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Emotional Intelligence-Intentionality

Part 11 of 17  Thinking and acting “on Purpose” and deliberately; knowing what it takes to control your own outcomes, your own destiny ​People with this competence • Make decisions and take action in a manner consistent with their goals and values • Manage distractions and keep focused on their objectives • Make a consistent effort to bring about the things they want to make happen • Are clear about what they want to make happen in their lives, in their careers, in a particular week, or in a particular meeting • Act deliberately to achieve the outcomes they want People lacking this competence • Fail to set goals and adhere to them • Allow themselves to be tossed about by the prevailing winds of life or the day • Allow themselves to become distracted from what they ideally want to achieve, whether that’s their ideal life, finding their ideal position or career; or being intentional and deliberate in choosing friends or a mate in life • Are unclear about the outcomes they seek, and fail to plan to achieve specified outcomes

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Emotional Intelligence: Achievement Drive

Part 10 of 17 ACHIEVEMENT DRIVE

Having high personal and professional standards, and striving to improve or meet new, higher standards of excellence; continuously learning

People with this competence

Are results-oriented, with a high drive to meet their objectives and standards

Set “stretch goals” – challenging yet reachable

Take moderate, calculated risks

Pursue information to reduce uncertainty and find ways to do better

Learn how to improve their performance

 People lacking this competence

Tend to avoid firm, fixed standards of performance, whether actively and overtly or passively and covertly

Work without regard to expectations and do not push themselves

Often do the minimum to get by

Don’t take goals seriously, and if pressed to make them, set easy goals they can easily attain or impossible goals they fail to meet (so they can say “I told you so”)

Accept the status quo, don’t “rock the boat”

Do what’s required of them and no more

May get the work done when goals are set for them, but don’t demonstrate an interest in working independently to an internal standard of excellence

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Emotional Intelligence: RESILIENCE

Part 9 of 17 RESILIENCE

 Perseverance and diligence in the face of setbacks

People with this competence

Know how to cope in spite of setbacks, barriers or limited resources

Are willing and able to overcome obstacles to get what they want

Bounce back from adversity and disappointments

Are flexible and adaptable

See setbacks as temporary and failures as isolated and short term

People lacking this competence

See failure as permanent

Demonstrate inflexible thinking

Tend to dwell in the past, get “stuck” in the past and can’t move forward

Experience a great deal of negative “self-talk” (“what were you thinking?” or “you’ll never come back from this one”)

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Emotional Intelligence: INITIATIVE & BIAS FOR ACTION

Part 8 of 17 

Being proactive and persistent; being ready to act on opportunity

People with this competence

Are ready to seize opportunities—or create them—rather than simply wait

Pursue goals beyond what’s required or expected of them

Cut through red tape and bend the rules when necessary to get the job done

Mobilize others through unusual, enterprising efforts

Act before being forced to by external circumstances

Want more from their job than a paycheck, and more from life as well

Consistently strive to do more, be more, and experience new heights

People lacking this competence 

Procrastinate and fall behind

Need direction to get things done

Trend to resist work outside their immediate areas of responsibility-have a “that’s not my job” mentality

React to events rather than be proactive, and as a result, often find themselves operating in crisis mode

Give up easily

Do not plan ahead

Postpone decisions, miss opportunities and tend to be overly cautious, tentative and unwilling to take risks

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Emotional Intelligence: Integrity

Part 7 of 17

Maintaining high standards of honesty & ethics at all times; living our values

People with this competence

Act ethically and are above reproach

Do what’s right even if it’s not personally rewarding

Build trust through their reliability and authenticity

Admit their won mistakes and confront unethical actions in others

Maintain an authentic openness with others about their values, beliefs, feelings, and actions

Take tough, principled stands even if they are unpopular

Keep their word, commitments and promises

Are honest and give true, accurate information

Treat all people fairly, no matter their place in the organization

People lacking this competence

Haven’t sorted out their own opinions and feelings of what’s right

Do what is most expedient rather than what is right

Show little independence of thought-are easily influenced by others

Tend to respond to the needs of the moment and don’t challenge the way things are done, even if they go against their established values

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Emotional Intelligence: EMOTIONAL SELF CONTROL

Part 6 of 17 EMOTIONAL SELF CONTROL (OR BETTER TERM:  BEHAVIORAL SELF CONTROL)

Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check

People with this competence

Manage their impulsive feelings and distressing emotions well

Stay composed, positive, and unflappable even in trying moments

Restrain negative reactions

Think clearly and stay focused under pressure

Maintain their stamina and performance in emotionally-charged situations

Choose not to escalate a problem when attacked, provoked, or aggressively confronted by another

When faced with hostility or opposition, remain “cool under pressure”

People lacking this competency

React impulsively

Get involved in inappropriate situations because they can’t resist the temptation

Respond to problems in a non-constructive way

Are quick to anger

Tend to be defensive

May become angry, depressed or agitated when faced with conflicts and stress on the job (may even think of quitting)

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Emotional Intelligence: ORGANIZATIONAL AWARENESS

Part 5 of 17

Reading social and political currents in organizations, on teams, in their businesses, their communities, their schools, and their neighborhoods

People with the competence

Accurately read key power relationships

Detect crucial social networks

Understand the political forces at work in an organization, the forces that shape views and actions of clients, customers, or competitors

Accurately read the guiding values and unspoken rules that operate in an organization

Accurately read the external forces and realities operating on that organization

Are aware of power relationships, and can make use of both formal and informal power structures and dynamics.

Are very effective at influencing organizational events

Don’t violate organizational norms

People without this competence

Find it difficult to get things done in the organization

Unwittingly offend organizational norms and individuals

Are surprised by organizational events

Make mistakes due to misunderstand the organizational structure

Act in ways that are not appropriate in the organization, the community, the neighborhood, the workplace, the family, etc.

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Emotional Intelligence: SERVICE ORIENTATION

Part 4 of 17

Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customer’s needs

People with this competence

Understand customers’ and clients’ needs and match them to services or products

Monitor and seek ways to increase customers’ satisfaction and loyalty

Gladly offer appropriate assistance; make themselves available

Grasp a customers’ perspective, acting as a trusted advisor

Foster an emotional climate in their organizations so that people directly in touch with the customer or client will keep the relationship on the right track

People without this competence

Focus on their own objectives rather than others’ needs

Provide routine or “off-the self” solutions and ideas

Speak poorly of others

Refuse to take a stand on behalf of another person

Fail to provide extra help (or even any help at all)

May be discourteous

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Emotional Intelligence: EMPATHY

Part 3 of 17

Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns; the ability to put yourself in another’s place and to take that perspective into account in your relationship with the other person

People with this competence

Are attentive to and able to attune to a wide range of emotional signals

Listen for and sense the felt, but unspoken emotions in a person or group

Show sensitivity to and understand others’ perspectives

Are able to help the other person or the group based on an accurate understanding of their needs and feelings

  People without this competence

Stereotype others

Show no understanding, or misunderstand, or are surprised by others’ feelings or actions

Often come into conflict

Cannot “read” people and what they are thinking and feeling

Tend to act without considering how others might feel about something

Come across as indifferent or uncaring

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Emotional Intelligence: EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS

Part 2 of 17

Noticing and being able to label your feelings, emotions, “gut-level” instincts or reactions; being able to connect these to their source; recognizing their effects on your mind and your body; using your feelings as a valuable source of insight and information about yourself, others and the situations around you

People with this competence

Know which emotions they are feeling and why

Realize, in the moment, the links between their feelings and what they think, do and say

Recognize how their feelings affect their performance

Are able to articulate their feelings and appropriately express them

Can tell when they are getting upset

People lacking this competence

May receive messages from their bodies such as chronic headaches, lower back pain, neck or shoulder pain, heart racing, sweaty palms, anxiety attacks or other signals

Generally don’t pay attention to these signals or connect them to what might be causing these physical symptoms

Fail to gain insight and information from what their bodies might be trying to tell them

Get irritated, frustrated or angry easily, causing them to treat people in an abrasive way

Fail to see that what they are doing or being asked to do might not be aligned with their personal goals and values

Often feel stressed and out of balance in terms of their work life, health and family

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Emotional Intelligence: What it is and Why it matters!!

Part 1 of 17

Working Definition:  Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of our own emotions and those of others, in the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and manage our relationships.

Ever since the publication of Daniel Goleman’s first book on the topic in 1995, emotional intelligence has become one of the hottest buzzwords in corporate America. For instance, when the Harvard Business Review published an article on the topic ten years ago, it attracted a higher percentage of readers than any other article published in that periodical in the last 40 years.

When the CEO of Johnson & Johnson read that article, he was so impressed that he had copies sent out to the 400 top executives in the company worldwide.

Given that emotional intelligence is so popular in corporate America, and given that the concept is a psychological one, it is important for anyone in a leadership position to understand what it really means and to be aware of the research and theory on which it is based. 

Even though the term has been misused and abused by many promoters, I believe it rests on a firm scientific foundation. Also, while there are aspects of the concept that are not new, some aspects are. Finally, emotional intelligence represents a way in which Certified Professional Coaches can make particularly significant contributions to their clients in the future.  There are now 26 competencies of social and emotional intelligence generally accepted by all professionals in the field of study.

It is surprising to me that based on how important this topic is to success in the workplace on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being a subject expert that a score of 4 is the average knowledge of the subject.

I want to focus your attention to those competencies that are essential to leadership. Listed below are the sixteen essential Emotional Intelligence competencies for leaders.

• Emotional Self Awareness    • Empathy

• Service Ethic                        • Organizational Awareness

• Emotional Self Control          • Integrity

• Initiative & Bias for Action     • Resilience

• Achievement Drive                • Intentionality

• Developing Others                • Powerful Influence

• Communication                     • Visionary Leadership

• Catalyzing Change               • Building Trust