Fuck... I recently found out that the name "Yacob" is spelled as "Yakob", not "Yacob"💔 I didn't know that because I don't speak English💔Fuck... I've been wrong for so long💔 I feel illiterate
Your headcannons are so peak could you mayhaps do headcannons for the Wounded Man? There is literally nothing for him and he is one of my favourites
I will do my best considering all we know about him is that he suffers 🫡
This guy is literally so funny to me and there’s no reason why other than the dumb made up scenarios in my head. Which I will describe to you now:
General headcanons:
His name is Valery
He is 42 years old
He’s about average height about 5’9-5’10
I believe he’s straight, but possibly open to experimenting??
He’s not a super judgmental guy. He mostly pays attention to his own problems rather than anyone else’s.
But he also likes to cause problems when he’s bored. He’s a prankster, but sometimes his pranks are really only funny to him.
He’ll definitely lie to get out of trouble if he knows it’ll work, but he’s not great at lying, he has a lot of tells like smiling awkwardly and not making eye contact.
He’s actually pretty fit for his age. He’s able to beat the vigilante in a fight and run with a bullet hole in his guts.
He likes his hair longer because he tells people he’s still in his 20s at heart.
He has the vibes of someone that owns a weird pet like a raccoon or a squirrel. But he loves that thing and it’s the most well-fed, taken care of pet you’d lay your eyes on.
Pre-cataclysm:
He lived in a quiet neighborhood, maybe taking care of his older father at home. He doesn’t have a partner.
I believe he probably works in a factory somewhere, but has to keep his hair tied up for safety reasons.
He liked annoying the shit out of his shrill, stuck-up neighbor next door. A lot of his pranks would be directed her way.
I can see him liking to work on old cars. Like he has junk cars parked outside of his house and works on them on occasion. The amount of junk cars just pisses off his neighbor even more.
Post-cataclysm:
His neighbor, Fema Wife (aka: Daria) reported him to FEMA because she swears she saw a visitor sign and definitely NOT because she hates him and wanted to join FEMA herself.
I think he’s a human, just because it makes his entire backstory even funnier. Like he went through all of that and he’s not a visitor.
He went to the Quarantine Zone, where he experienced all of the horrible stuff going on there. The Surgeon (AKA: Sergey) forged his documents to get him out of there.
Then he ran into the vigilante on the way back, who did his bullshit check and swore he was a visitor (he’s not). He was shot in the gut.
Because he doesn’t appear anywhere in my fics, I believe he actually makes it back home to his dad and his fucking raccoon/squirrel. Then he gets back at his neighbor by breaking into her house and stealing her stuff and ruining the rest.
gummygunk
2087
turnnoffyourmind
romaincrisis