āDude, you havenāt lost your phone ⦠youāre talking to me on it.ā
āWhy are you going out in your pajamas?!ā
āSince when do you have a dog?ā
āSo guess what I did last night!ā
āLook at what I found!ā
āStop throwing onions at me!ā
āOk, listen. Weāll calm down, stop panicking and handle it like adults. And by that I mean weāll call our parents.ā
āCan you use shower gel instead of shampoo?ā
āCall me when you get this message, we need to talk.ā
āNo, having an anthill in my bedroom is NOT the lesser of two evils.ā
āl donāt want to explain what happened, all you have to know is that I need to take a shower asap and that I can never go to Burger King ever again.ā
āSorry, am I interrupting something?ā
āCome on, itās not like itās gonna kill you!ā
āWhy is there BBQ sauce on your bed!?ā
āMy place, pizza, ice cream, and a movie. How does it sound?ā
āSo I saw this very weird photo of you on the Internetā¦ā
āYouāll never guess what I heard!ā
āDo you have butter? Itās like, really important.ā