Shorty

Call me Shorty! 21 y/o I like to watch horror movies when I'm high. That's it.

[high-and-horrified]

Thankskilling (2008)

Hey y'all! Long time no see! I had some pretty crazy life stuff go down recently but I'm back and ready to review more horror.

Thankskilling is a BLAST to watch when high, especially if you have an equally high boyfriend watching it with you. Me and my bf got an especially big laugh out of the fact Darren (I think that was his nam at least, the dude with glasses) looked like a peanut. I very much enjoyed finding stock photos of peanuts and imagining his lines coming from the peanut.

Other honorable mentions are when Billy discovers the turkey dragging the shrriff's body out of the kitchen, Billy exclaims "if that's the sherriff..." and I couldn't help but ask then who's driving the bus?

And someone telling Darren (Again, I think that is his name) to "do his magic", I asked my bf imagine if he pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

Long story short if you're planning on having a movie night with friends or loved ones and haven't tried Thankskilling yet, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[olrazzledazzle5]

I love his expressions!! ❤️🖤🤍

[high-and-horrified]

director said "cut her head off!!" and Art heard "we're having a cunt off!!"

[high-and-horrified]

Hellraiser (1987)

Here is my full, honest review of watching Hellraiser while I'm high:

Watching Pinhead in all his glory saying the line *angels to some, demons to others* gave me a feeling I can only compare to being a teenage girl in the late sixties and seeing The Beatles live in concert. Any time Pinhead (Doug Bradley) was on screen I felt so giddy and excited like a child who's father came back after 2 years of going to get milk.

That's my full review. It's short and incredibly stupid I know but this is an account about getting high and watching movies. There's gonna be stupid shit in here.

Hellraiser gets a 10/10.

[high-and-horrified]

The Velocipastor (2017)

My first recommendation since starting this account and wowie wow what a start...this was terrible. Awful. One of the worst movies I have ever seen. Even now that I'm sober I can't tell if this was supposed to be a parody/comedy or if this was a genuine attempt at making a movie. This movie is like The Toxic Avenger if it was afraid to be problematic.

Another thing about this movie is I am SHOCKED my boyfriend sat through this entire thing. The fact we made it to the end is insane to me. If he was any less inebriated he absolutely would have shut this shit off immediately.

The one thing this movie has going for it is that it is hilariously bad. Strange editing choices like the "car on fire" in the beginning and the main characters long, long, LONG drive during the opening credits. And the interesting choice to put a clearly elderly man in a blonde wig and mustache instead of hiring a younger actor to be in the flashback scene.

This movie was terrible, but it's very obvious why someone would recommend it to someone who likes to watch movies under the influence. Thanks a lot for that, OP.

[high-and-horrified]

you shpuld watch velocipastor

my first recommendation, how exciting! Next time I buy a gummy I'll look into this

[high-and-horrified]

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

I usually post one review a day, but I'm going to go ahead and type this one out before i forget what little I still remember of this movie.

So, unless this is your first time seeing me you know the premise of this account. I get high, I watch a horror movie, then when I'm sober I review it. And so far I've had pretty good luck remembering what I watched and anything worth mentioning in a review. UNTIL I got to Scary Movie 3.

I do not remember shit from this movie!!! Except 1. How awful Brenda's 'body' looked in her casket, and 2. How much I hated George and Cody.

George sucked and the fact I was supposed to believe Anna Faris saw anything in him as attractive or charming is still insane to me. Tbh I don't know what Cody did to make me hate him so much but every time he was on screen I'd turn to my boyfriend just to complain about him. Sorry Cody.

I wish I could remember more of this movie, I don't know what went wrong during this movie specifically but when I mean I don't remember ANYTHING, I mean it. When it was over I felt like I hadn't watched the movie yet. The only proof I have I even watched this was my hate for George.

[high-and-horrified]

Re-animator (1985)

Sooo usually I pick movies to watch while high based on how funny or fucked up I think they would be to an inebriated mind, but Reanimator I just chose because I really love this movie and I really REALLY love Jeffrey Combs. Seriously, he is my favorite actor of all time. My boyfriend hates him.

Anyways onto the actual review...I don't have much to say. I could go on and on about how much I love this movie, how Herbert West is my favorite little guy ever, how Bruce Abbott and Barbara Crampton make this movie everything that it is, I could praise the morbid humor and the special effects making everything so nasty and wonderful at the same time.

The problem is I think all those things when I'm sober! THC did nothing but make me lock tf in and really focus. I think I laughed harder than usual at a few parts but that's not much to write a review about...

Anyways Reanimator is awesome. May Jeffrey Combs be with you all.

[high-and-horrified]

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

This is the movie ever. I have watched this movie every day since the night I watched it high, fully sober and just enjoying the experience again.

For those who don't know, I have the type of autism that makes me addicted to movies and TV shows. And right now my brain is occupied by Scary Movie 2.

The first reason this movie is so fantastic to me is the perfect cast. Four returnees from the first movie, with the addition of THE TIM CURRY and the always wonderful David Cross. The only thing that would have made this cast better was the addition of Jeffrey Combs, but I'm sure he was busy. Probably.

The second reason is the humor in this movie hits much harder to me, both high and sober, than any of the other Scary Movie films. Anna Faris is a joy as usual, but the rest of the cast was not far behind her with their line delivery and physical comedy.

I also think it's worth mentioning I got my period the night I watched this while high, and Buddy (Christopher Masterson) exclaiming *EW, SOMEONE'S ON THE RAG!* when finding bloody footprints nearly sent me to the hospital. If I had laughed any harder my brain would have exploded I think.

I could sing the praises of this movie all day, from Tim Curry's hilariously disgusted facial expressions during the dinner scene to the wonderful use of a haunted house setting to parody so many different iconic movies at once. But one negative thing I have to say is this:

When I was high, the Nightmare on Elm Street parody sex scene (iykyk) felt like it went on for no less than forty five minutes. That was the longest scene of my LIFE.

[high-and-horrified]

Scary Movie (2000)

Let me start this off by saying I made a TERRIBLE mistake watching this franchise high. It made Scary Movie one of my favorite franchises of all time. And Scary Movie 2 my new favorite movie, but I'm saving that for a full review of THAT film. So let's focus on the first one.

When I'm sober, this movie is entertaining at best. I smile at a few parts, but really laugh at very few. But STONED is definitely the way you were meant to watch this movie.

The jokes hit much harder to the mind when it's on drugs, so much so that I'm struggling to think of a specific line or moment that made me laugh especially hard.

If I had to pick a specific part, it would probably be the iconic *WAZZUP!!!!* scene. Basic, but the changing Ghostface masks really did a number on me.

Lastly, I'd like to say Anna Faris is a national treasure. This series wouldn't be half of what it is without her awkward line delivery and insane facial expressions.

[high-and-horrified]

Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls (2023)

This movie is great to watch sober, thanks to Andrew Bowser's writing, Kreaturekid's awesome puppet designs, and Jeffrey Combs' performance as Bartok. But watching it stoned is an even better experience.

Until the recreation of "I would do anything for love", then I felt like I was trapped in meatloaf purgatory for about 45 minutes. I'm mostly joking, but not really!

Hands down the funniest part of this movie to my fried brain was anything that came out of Onyx's mouth. Especially *I dreamt I didn't fuck anybody last night. So I guess we all had pretty fortuitous dreams!*

Onyx the Fortuitous gets a 10/10, hands down.

[high-and-horrified]

Welcome

Welcome to high and horrified, the blog where I get high, watch a horror movie, and review the experience. Very simple and basic.