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official daine visual archive
The Bowery Presents
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
#extradirty
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
RMH
Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
blake kathryn
The Stonewall Inn
trying on a metaphor
Noah Kahan
cherry valley forever
h
if i look back, i am lost
seen from United States
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@highpriestessofswords
I’m back and full of incandescent rage :) I kind of abandoned the blog to keep my practice more private, but given the state of my country my religious freedom is the least of my problems. My own blood, the same people who said they loved me, knew what would happen if they voted for him and they did it anyway. They looked at me, my sister, my mother, my aunts, and they abandoned us because their hate was stronger than their love. My religion won’t do that to me, even if theirs did.
ANYWAY i’m sick so it’s time for bourbon-spiked ginger tea with a medieval fortune’s worth of cinnamon and honey. and eating whole sautéed cloves of garlic.
i haven’t pulled the tower in a while but i sure do feel like i should’ve.
i am DOWN BAD. update to come, cards are not being helpful lol
lol that went to shit. my cat died, i got ghosted, and i haven’t had the energy to be as active in practice as before. i AM having dreams about having my left eye gouged out so that’s fun :) pinky promise i’m still around but bro this is my last fucking straw :) :) :)
i am DOWN BAD. update to come, cards are not being helpful lol
12/5/2021
My appointment wasn’t too bad, no bad news but the doctor said based on my symptoms and family history that it could be anything. I have an ultrasound appointment coming up, I did a quick past-present-future reading and uh. Lots of “fight, plan, don’t give up”. But I finally pulled an upright card!!
It was the Tower. For my future. Fun times.
Im still not very optimistic about the actual diagnosis but if I prepare for the worst, I’ll either be relieved by a less-serious diagnosis or I’ll be. you know. prepared.
I got this, though. I had some lemon cake and spicy chai for Loki. Maybe I should stock up just in case?
12/2/2021
it’s been a while. a lot has happened and i haven’t been documenting as much as i want to, but here’s hoping i’ll keep up with it better. for now, just a little vent post.
i have a GYN appointment scheduled later today because i’ve been bleeding since October 30th and the clots are the size of my palm. i’m exhausted. i hurt. my toes went half-numb yesterday and they haven’t come back. i’m cold. i’m scared. my family medical history is almost every type of cancer and reproductive disease or disorder in the book.
my appointment was supposed to be yesterday but the office cancelled it and i had to fight to be seen before mid-December.
yesterday, the original day of my appointment, the apartment was filled with flies and we can’t get rid of them. you could do surgery on our floors, that’s how clean we keep the place. we have no idea where they came from and nothing we’re trying is getting rid of them.
my last tarot reading was a couple minutes ago and it was supposed to help me calm down about the stupid appointment but all i’m getting is messages to keep fighting, it’ll get worse before it gets better. i asked if i should expect the worst and i got “give up, let go”.
i didn’t pull a single upright card.
am i only seeing the negative??? i’m trying so hard to find any positive meaning (from the last month especially)
my grandmother is dead. i don’t know how to pray for her. do i pray to her god? mine? do i take communion at her mass? if catholic prayers come out of my mouth but i’m thinking of my gods are they meaningless? disrespectful? she fought until her last breath. does that count as a battle? do i pray she goes to valhalla? folkvangr? hel? or should i pray she walks through the gates of st peter? my father suggested i pray the rosary but i don’t know how.
i want to be respectful but catholic prayers don’t hold any meaning for me, and heathen prayers didn’t hold any meaning for her.
do i just hope my intentions are enough? i would be upset if someone prayed i went to a catholic heaven but i would appreciate the love behind it; do i assume she’s the same?
Y'all want Norse Heathen pride stuff? I have no ideas but all the ability to make things.
The only idea my dumb tired man-brain is giving me is a shirt design that says "Wet Ass Pussy" in rainbow futhark.
I got some new piercings! I got snakebites done, didn’t swell, no infection, and no jewelry rejection! :D I was worried I’d get an infection no matter how much I cleaned them because I’m really prone to stuff like that; look at me wrong and I’ll have a reaction.
They’re, uh, accidentally devotional? I didn’t mean to get them for Loki, I just wanted them, but Loki claimed them. I got back from the piercing place and got hit with a wave of “oh?? is for me?? those are mine??” from him so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And, you know, since they’re lip piercings, and they’re literally called snakebites, they’re pretty on-brand as far as devotional piercings go.
Had another fun(?) dream last night!
So I lived in a village just outside the ruins of a large futuristic city, with lots of flooding. I was picked as the leader of some mission into the more heavily damaged parts of the flooded city with a small group, and given a necklace with a reversed othala rune.
As we ventured through the flooding, I kept seeing a man with the same necklace as me, guiding me through the more dangerous parts of the journey by acting out what I should do (he never spoke to me). No one else in the group could see him and I’m assuming it’s because of the necklace I was given. We made camp for the night, and I had a dream within a dream! Weird. In THAT dream, I didn’t have the necklace on. I was swimming through murky water and found the man I had seen throughout the day, dead under the water. His eyes snapped open and he moved my hands to the back of his neck where the clasp of the necklace was, so I took it off of him and put it on myself. After I put the necklace on, his eyes closed again and he went limp, like a marionette after you cut the strings.
I woke up from the dream-in-a-dream and told a member of the group, an older man. He told me that the man in the dream was a god and the village had married me off to him in exchange for him watching over the village and keeping us safe. I kind of didn’t have a strong reaction to that? I was just kind of irritated that I wasn’t asked about it beforehand but otherwise I was feeling pretty ambivalent about it I guess. I remember thinking, “He better be cool with this staying a political marriage because I only like girls” but like. That was it. I was more curious about how one can marry someone who’s dead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
We continued on our journey. I don’t remember why we had to go into the flooded city, but we were looking for something important I think. At one point we all got trapped in a building with rising water, and the god showed me how to make the water recede so we wouldn’t drown.
We left the flooded city, and I asked the older man about the god I was allegedly married off to. According to him, the god is Freyr, but I didn’t get any more information before I woke up. Reflecting back, it seems plausible that Freyr is the god from the dream? The environment was very post-apocalyptic (maybe even post-Ragnarok? Freyr DOES die, and the god in the dream was very dead) and it makes sense that the village would want a god of peace and prosperity looking out for them.
But was it actually Freyr? I dunno. Was I meant to take the marriage thing seriously? I guess I don’t mind if I am, but this is my first interaction with Freyr (if it was actually him) so like. I’ve got some questions. Let’s hit the brakes for a minute.
And what was the reversed othala about? Was that a message about reality, or should I interpret it only in the context of the dream? I plan on doing a little research, a little meditation, probably do a card reading. Maybe Loki has some answers if I don’t like what I come up with.
Chime in if you’ve got any thoughts!
I want to love an imperfect god:
A god who makes mistakes;
A god who knows sins like sisters,
Who made the queer children in his image
And looked upon his work and saw that it was good;
A god of “Judge not less ye be judged, in which case
Rain your tongues upon them like darts
Until your oppressors lie cowering at your feet.”
I want to love a god who stole me fire
And taught me to make a net;
How to put myself before others
And how to throw bricks at police officers.
A god who walks city streets at midnight
In high heels and glitter
To break bread with homeless children.
A god who displaces kings
And ushers in the winter
Once summer leaves him bored.
“Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned,” you say,
And he says, “Ooo, tell me more.”
my family, taking communion: we consume this to be closer to god
me, eating Taco Bell leftovers out of the fridge and chugging juice straight out the jug in the middle of the night: me too :)
I’ve been busy busy busy with my new job, I haven’t gotten the chance to document what all has been happening lately.
so. good news! i got the job. i celebrated with many sweet things and sparkling rosé. i’ll be able to fix my car and save up a good amount of money with the paychecks coming my way.
bad news. my coworkers are idiots. we’re only in training but they just. lack common sense. two of them don’t want the covid vaccine because they think there’s a chip in it to track us. two others refuse to wear their masks above their noses because it makes them uncomfortable.
WE ARE HEALTHCARE WORKERS.
do you see my frustration?
is this the price i have to pay for demanding Odin teach me? for praying to Loki, a chaos god, a trickster?
i’ll pay it, if that’s what it is. for a positive change in my life this extreme? for these new opportunities to learn?
i’d pay anything.
Plauntie how accurate is this nearly lost an eye thing for Odin followers because a cat nearly took my eye out when I was younger and volunteering at the shelter... he was angry because I was putting him back in the cat condo because he and another Tom cat couldn't both be trusted when their weren't staff their during the day so as I carried him he turned around and got a really good scratch in a few centimeters under my right eye I still have a scar from it
Well uhhhhh let’s just say more than 50% of us.
i haven’t “nearly lost” an eye but a guy threw a rock into my left eye in high school
also i wear glasses but only my left eye needs a prescription lens lmao
a prayer
please. please, please, please help me, Loki. there is a change coming, the catalyst is within my grasp and i need help to claim it as mine.
don’t claim it for me. i could never ask for something i don’t deserve—haven’t earned. i would never. don’t give it to me. keep me steady so i can take it for myself.
steady my voice, my hands, my heart; brace me against my doubts and my fears. i am your child and i know how to charm, lend me the peace to do it.
keep me calm; help me be as serene as i was as a child lying in a field of dandelions.
keep me calm; stop the anxieties that spread ice through my veins, soothe me and keep me warm like my favorite spiced chai.
keep me calm; stop my fears from sewing my mouth shut.
all i ask is that you help me remain unbound.
i can do this, Loki, i know i can. chase away the monsters in my head that tell me i can’t.
time for a 4 AM walk to bask in the moonlight :)
everyone’s talking about recharging their crystals but i’m finna recharge myself. i might even fuck around and cleanse my glasses lenses for clear visions.
PSA
If you’re a Norse pagan that sympathizes with the alt-right/neo nazi movement or is a neo nazi that uses Norse pagan symbols, please smash that unfollow button and block me.
I don’t want that filth here.
I’m looking at other pagans here and begging y’all to reblog this and help us Norse pagans take back the symbols that have been twisted into a mark of hatred
White supremacists and neo nazis have no place on my blog. Please stop tainting my heratige with your bigotry, thanks and have a shitty day.
If I ever don’t reblog this, assume the trolls have come back for me
I’m a queer, brown, female with immigrant parents. If you sympathize with Nazis/the alt right/Trump & Pence, GTFO
They’re more and more infiltrating Gaelic Polytheism spaces, too. We can’t afford to be lazy about this either.
The ones invading Gaelpol tend to be fond of the Morrígan I’ve noticed. Which is sickening on a number of levels. They’ve no right to even a space to speak in our religion.
The Gods and Ungods you’re trying to lay claim to are a beautiful bag of queer, disabled, and multicultural beings that don’t adhere to your bullshit racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, bigoted talking points.
This blog is not for you. These communities are not for you. May Balor gaze upon you pieces of shit.
Please. Please, for the love of Thor. If you hate people because of their nationality, sexuality, gender, the color of their skin, disabilities they may or may not have… any and all of that.
Unfollow me. I don’t support hatred and neither do the god or gods you profess to follow.
