There Is No Plan B @hihelloimrachel - Tumblr Blog

officialunitedstates

“What does the chef recommend?”

“Sir, this is a mcdonalds”

aptxx4869-deactivated20160504

my traumatized ass: do I have a crush or am I just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me

neebedankt

peoplegettingreallymadatgay

angelicguy

talking to my infant son like im a youtuber

looking4myson

Whats up baby. Father here bringing you another spoonful of Gerber ham and gravy baby food

wrotten

kiss ur own forehead. haunt ur own house

itseasytoremember

me: i wanna swim in a natural pond or lake, i want to walk in and see the moss and the trees and the little fish and just be one with nature

also me: hUHEDN SomNETH sloPRY TOUHCY MEy LEG

sucboy-deactivated20200423

My room gets trashed super easily bc I live my whole life in here

pinataparty23-deactivated201404

babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it

sushie

got crunchy joints. crispy bones. popcorn ankles. pop pop pop pop thats me gettin out of bed

kazbrkcer

End tweet: “…I would probably be somewhere in the middle” and like. WHAT.”

gragnack

Here’s the source, it’s from his biography “The Good Neighbor”

blackreigen-deactivated20190402

COME THROUGH MS TWENTYBITEEN

hilarioushumorfromouterspace

unstablemotions

tfw your mom tells about how her mom fucked her up and you’re like lol same

nourrice

me being ignored (now that i am mature): this is fine i suppose

nourrice

this is a lie im on the verge of tears

stereomike

as a kid I never appreciated the comedic genius of my elementary school principal, who, whenever our school won against another school in a sport, would play what felt like 2 minutes of “we are the champions” over the PA during announcements, and just as it’s going “cuz we are the champions…of” he’d hit stop and his deadpan voice over the PA system would go “Brampton.”