Fucking Fuck Happens

Himi. Otome gamer; A3! trash JJK; Chainsaw Man; FE3H

[hunxi-after-hours]

Any thoughts on the similarities and differences between hualian and yanshen??

(kicks down the door) DO I HAVE THOUGHTS OR WHAT

so it's funny you ask this, anon, because when I was reading 《千秋》 and Going Through It, I distinctly remember trying to explain it to people and at one point saying "the main ship of 《千秋》 is like TGCF if the central ship of TGCF was Xie Lian/Bai Wuxiang"

which, having now finished the book, isn't actually that accurate, but I think it gets at the Two Main Things that come to mind when I compare and contrast TGCF/QQ: 1) Xie Lian and Shen Qiao parallels, and 2) the arc of enemies/symbolic opposites/narrative foils-to-lovers

I think there's a lot to unpack between TGCF and QQ on levels of character, theme, and relationship, which all orbit around/interact with the material of the central ship, so grab some tea, this is going to get roundabout:

first, let's talk character similarities w/o relationships in the picture:

Shen Qiao 🤝 Xie Lian:

too good for this world, too pure

has gone through literal hell and back

refuses to give up morals even under the threat of intense suffering/death

ridiculously pretty

unrepentant sword nerd

always assumes the best of people

Yan Wushi 🤝 Hua Cheng:

will roast anything that moves

ambiguously evil (or at least, perceived as evil by other characters in the narrative)

can and will wipe the floor with anyone in the room

does not especially care for anyone beyond their immediate circle of close loved one(s)

so we can see a lot of superficial similarities between hualian and yanshen (it's the dynamic of ghost king/demonic cultivator x pure-hearted Daoist), but truth be told, I think the similarities between Shen Qiao and Xie Lian does most of that work, rather than anything inherent about the hualian vs. yanshen relationship

because Hua Cheng and Yan Wushi have starkly different character arcs, which then reflects upon the general relationship arcs in their respective stories

in TGCF, the only thing keeping hualian apart are the secrets they hold about themselves. seriously, by the end of book one (book!! one!! of!! five!!) the two of them move into Puqi Shrine together and live in peak domesticity until the plot comes rudely knocking on the door. the only reasons why hualian don't get together immediately are because 1) the plot Continues to Happen, and 2) they met each other like, yesterday, they're still getting around to actually knowing each other

the slow burn of TGCF primarily comes from the flashback reveals about hualian's past--for Xie Lian, his greatest secret and greatest shame is how close he came to becoming a Calamity, which is why when Hua Cheng tells Xie Lian that he was there, that he had been at his side, that he supported and loved Xie Lian unconditionally through the darkest days of his immortal life, Xie Lian is amazed and moved to tears

for Hua Cheng, his greatest secret and greatest shame is the true depths of his obsessive love, overcoming a certain amount of internalized shame and of course, the mortifying ordeal of having exactly how much you care be known by the object of your affections

but like, once they talk it out on both sides, they are in full battle couple mode from pretty much mid-book three onwards

MEANWHILE WITH YANSHEN. god. meanwhile with yanshen, there are no secrets to be revealed between them; their relationship does not hinge on the revelation of truths but rather the slow accumulation of shared experiences. in direct contrast to hualian, who are functionally together for most of the book, yanshen don't get together until the literal fanwai because Meng Xishi makes them earn it

oh my god she makes them work so hard for it

Yan Wushi is quite upfront with his attraction to Shen Qiao from the early chapters, but that’s all it is, really--Shen Qiao is drop-dead gorgeous, Yan Wushi is human, and there isn’t really any emotional or romantic content in their relationship beyond that. Shen Qiao, however, is definitively uninterested in Yan Wushi’s cursory advances (and the advances of literally everyone else in the jianghu sdlfkjs;flakdj), and brushes them off with long-suffering tolerance

in direct contrast to hualian, whose primary obstacle to their relationship is their knowledge (or ignorance) of each other’s past (which is, again, fairly easy to overcome because it’s no more and no less than the mortifying ordeal of being known), the primary obstacle to yanshen’s relationship is yanshen themselves

exhibit A, of course, being The Betrayal, but also the separate journeys yanshen take to realizing and accepting the fact that yes, they would in fact be interested in a relationship with the other, and yes, it takes these two chuckleheads the whole damn book to figure this out (I say, with great fondness; I wouldn’t have them any other way)

if Hua Cheng’s character arc is coming to accept himself for who he is (I’m thinking of this phenomenal meta in particular) and how much he loves (and that his love is both valuable and good), then Yan Wushi’s character arc revolves around realizing that Shen Qiao (and what Shen Qiao represents) is not only worthy of respect and admiration, but specifically worthy of his love and devotion (one of these days I’ll get over the story of the goddamn stone but not today)

meanwhile, Shen Qiao’s character arc... is about a lot of things besides yanshen, but specifically Shen Qiao’s character arc in context of their relationship goes through:

he saved my life so I owe him mine. it’s not personal though

he sold me out. that kinda felt personal?

I saved his life so we’re now even, I swear it’s not personal

we keep saving each other’s lives, and also helping each other out. it might be getting personal?

oh my god it’s personal, I actually care about him now, please don’t die you dumbass

Shen Qiao is such a fascinating character because if you don’t take the time to  excavate his interiority, he seems simple, boring, one-dimensionally good, but once you go looking, the fabric of his person is actually built of an incredibly complex weave of guilt and grief, sacrifice and selfhood, determination and resolve

and a good amount of it has to do with his developing relationship with Yan Wushi. for the vast majority of the book, Shen Qiao keeps Yan Wushi firmly at arm’s length, and his interactions with Yan Wushi are never anything beyond necessary, polite, and professional (as he can make it)

this of course, gets sorely tested due to (waves vaguely) All the Shit That Goes Down in the plot, and also Yan Wushi In General, but all the way up until... heck, up until Shen Qiao takes back sect leadership of Xuandu Shan, Shen Qiao sees Yan Wushi as nothing more than like... a coworker. a weirdly close colleague. someone he’s fought with, multiple times, a fellow traveller of the same way somehow, and it’s not until Shen Qiao hears of Yan Wushi’s challenge to Hu Lu Gu, which isn’t on Shen Qiao’s behalf but neither is it not on Shen Qiao’s behalf that something slides into place and Shen Qiao goes oh. oh?

...him, really?

and like... there’s all the domesticity of the days before the final duel, Shen Qiao slowly allowing himself to admit that actually, he does care, and in fact cares very deeply, which culminates in his realization on the peak, cradling Yan Wushi’s cooling body

because here’s the thing: as long as their relationship is professional, is impersonal, then Shen Qiao doesn’t have to acknowledge how deeply Yan Wushi’s betrayal hurt him. when people try to offer him sympathy, or condolences, or mockery disguised as sympathy or condolences about Yan Wushi’s betrayal, Shen Qiao shrugs it off and explains that Yan Wushi is just like that, it wasn’t personal, but at the same time, as long as Shen Qiao denies this, he will never have closure. he cannot forgive Yan Wushi for this betrayal until they both acknowledge that actually, it’s been personal from the beginning. Yan Wushi gets there before Shen Qiao does, but Shen Qiao figures it out, eventually

I’ve written in the past about the yanshen relationship, and how it isn’t so much a relationship of knowing as it is one of choosing. Yan Wushi chooses Shen Qiao to love and cherish; Shen Qiao chooses to forgive Yan Wushi, to allow their relationship to move forward. again, in stark contrast to hualian, the main obstacle in the yanshen relationship is their own individual character arcs, which eventually lead them to a place where they can realize the potential of their shared relationship arc

I also think it’s worthwhile to point out that Hua Cheng isn’t... he’s not evil at all. his morals are at all times taizi-dianxia-oriented, which is quite compatible with Xie Lian’s general goodness and Xie Lian’s laidback attitude about morality in general (Xie Lian may be a pure force of kindness and goodness, but he recognizes his own exceptionalism and does not expect the same of anyone else). meanwhile Yan Wushi isn’t... he’s not like, the mindless, destructive evil that Bai Wuxiang embodies in TGCF, but doing good and accumulating merit isn’t particularly high on his priority list. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng almost never argue, and especially never come to blows over their disagreements in moral frameworks. Arguing and coming to blows over disagreements in moral frameworks, however, lies at the heart of the yanshen relationship. Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao are constantly challenging each other and each other’s beliefs, taking turns to verbally roast or physically drag the other as the opportunity arises (fine, it’s mostly Yan Wushi doing the roasting/dragging but Shen Qiao gets a few good ones in there)

sldkjfslkdjf this is getting extremely long again, tl;dr hualian / yanshen parallels exist primarily on the levels of Xie Lian / Shen Qiao parallels, but the differences between Hua Cheng and Yan Wushi is where the hualian / yanshen parallels begin to diverge

[hunxi-after-hours]

Are there any scenes in 《山河剑心》 which are unique to the animation only that you really like? And why?

man oh man... WHAT a question, anon...

okay I think I’m going to go ahead and use this ask to springboard into my thoughts about 《山河剑心》 vs. 《千秋》, because I’ve seen some takes about the changes they’ve made from the novel and the relative merits thereof, so here’s my few cents on the matter:

the tl;dr of my take is that 《山河剑心》 is stronger dramatically, but 《千秋》 is stronger thematically.

spoilers for literally everything about the show and book below the cut, you know the drill

the thing is about 《千秋》 the novel is that it’s a work with powerful themes--much of the story, characters, and character arcs are concerned with two questions: 

what does it mean to 入世 / enter the world, and 

whether or not two people with fundamentally opposed worldviews can be in a relationship together

Since 2) really only concerns the development of the relationship between Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi, much of the story is focused on 1)--what it means to exist in the world as a person with power, as a person who acts.

《千秋》 follows Shen Qiao as he learns about the world outside Xuandu Shan--the political jockeying, the rampant corruption, the unfairness of it all. On his travels, he shares meals with refugees, rooms with beggars, befriends a village girl on the edge of empire who struggles to speak with him because this far out, Chinese isn’t even the primary language. He speaks with kings, negotiates with sect leaders, suffers insults from rich merchants and other jianghu sword-folk. The Shen Qiao who returns to Xuandu Shan at the end of the book is profoundly different from the Shen Qiao who was flung off a cliff at the beginning; this Shen Qiao is worldly, cautious, knowledgeable, practical--he hasn’t let go of his optimism and goodness, but his actions and speech are tempered with a realism that can only be gained from experience.

What really struck me about 《千秋》 is the sheer scope of the story—Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao are mere players in a vast game of politics and intrigue, the fall of kingdoms and the rise of dynasties. The cast of characters is so large that when the director of the audiodrama received the list of characters he would have to find voices for, he despaired at the length of it (look, the bonus material for the audiodrama is hilarious, would recommend). Many characters appear with fanfare and pomp, have hints of backstory, then vanish for the rest of the book, only to be vaguely mentioned in passing. And while narratively, this might feel unsatisfying (I really thought that Xie Xiang was going to be relevant! I really did!!!), it also feels profoundly realistic, because that’s just how life is, isn’t it? You meet people, you learn their names, you smile at them; and when you part, you have no idea who they’ll be to you in the future, if they’ll become plot-relevant fifteen chapters later, or if they’ll vanish for eighty chapters and then stroll up to a sword conference calling you 师弟 like no time had passed at all.

And this works for 《千秋》, because it’s not a story about how one person changes the fate of the world—it’s about one person learning to navigate the complex web of human relation and society, coming to terms with the limits of his ability, learning how and when to act with the power and influence he has. Look at all these people that we will never know, 《千秋》 says. Look at the lives they have that we will never see. In the scope of the story, Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi are small. The consequences of their actions and their influence are huge, don’t get me wrong—they aid a political coup, make the founding of the Sui Dynasty possible—but they are just… people. Individuals, in a world full of individuals fighting for power and influence and fame and fortune.

The story does not begin or end with Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi, and it’s clear, even after the end of the book, that the story continues.

okay. okay okay okay—back to 《山河剑心》, the donghua adaptation. First, there are the limits of adaptation—you cut down the number of characters, consolidate a few here and there, make the story tighter in terms of pacing and plot because you’ve got a lot of ground to cover in sixteen 20-minute episodes (and they cover almost 60 chapters of content in this first season, which is wild). But what this means is that they cut down on the small moments, the in-between times—many of the interactions between Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi, the months Shen Qiao spends travelling alone and learning about the world.

What 《山河剑心》 does instead is tighten the plot, funneling it down to focus on Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi. When five powerful warriors team up to take Yan Wushi down, the narration in the book emphasizes, again and again, that it isn’t personal—I mean, sure, no one’s going to pass up the opportunity to beat up Yan Wushi if they can get away with it, but everyone came to the fight with ulterior motives, often political, always practical. Meanwhile in 《山河剑心》, Yan Wushi’s assassination becomes a conspiracy, a plot, a concentrated attack on his person that is months in the making (they even get Yuan Xiuxiu and Ruyan Kehui in on it, who were notably neutral in the book). Likewise with the expansion of the 走火入魔/qi deviation subplot—instead of being a temporary aftereffect of Yan Wushi’s duel with Ruyan Kehui, it worsens, damaging Yan Wushi’s physical and mental stability, directly spurring him to turn Shen Qiao over to Sang Jingxing.

Ah, and isn’t that the heart of what’s really changed in the donghua? Yan Wushi is nicer.

Which, to be fair, is a pretty low bar—Meng Xishi came into this novel with the express intent to write a relationship between two characters who were 三观不同. The concept of 三观 in Chinese means ‘three views’—a person’s belief in the nature of the world, the prioritization of certain values, and outlook on life. Given that Shen Qiao is often compared to Xie Lian from TGCF, or Xiao Xingchen from CQL/MDZS, well… that gives you an idea of what kind of person Yan Wushi is.

Shen Qiao believes in the inherent good of man? Yan Wushi believes in the inherent evil of man. Shen Qiao believes in doing good in the world? Yan Wushi believes that the only law is self-interest. The two of them clash over this, verbally and physically, throughout the book. It catalyzes what might be the most important turning point—Yan Wushi turning Shen Qiao over to Sang Jingxing, to certain torture, possible death, excruciating shame, and the insidious implication of sexual violence. And for what reason? Little more than idle curiosity—Yan Wushi wants to know if Shen Qiao can still maintain his faith in humanity, in goodness and friendship, if Yan Wushi betrays him so deeply and thoroughly.

It’s not personal. If anything, it’s scientific. Clinical, curious.

(of course, this doesn’t break Shen Qiao—instead, it reforges him, lays the foundation for his return to power, and it’s Yan Wushi instead who’s proven wrong, Yan Wushi who grudgingly comes to accept that Shen Qiao is unique, is good, is right, that Shen Qiao is the exception to his belief that all people are inherently evil and selfish, and though Yan Wushi does not abandon his views, he comes to acknowledge Shen Qiao’s worthiness, and eventually—well. we all know what the endgame ship is)

and so.《山河剑心》 makes changes to Yan Wushi’s character and actions, soft-pedaling the extremity of his beliefs and conduct. Yan Wushi turns Shen Qiao over to Sang Jingxing, not for curiosity and lulz, but in exchange for something that will help him recover from complications with his qi deviation. That pivotal scene is no longer a targeted move to break Shen Qiao, but a trade that Yan Wushi makes with some difficulty and regret (给他编出一些苦衷了). Crucially, after Shen Qiao has detonated himself in an attempt to take Sang Jingxing down with him, Yan Wushi is the one who pulls Shen Qiao out of the water, leaves him on the front steps of Bailong Temple to be cared for and saved.

In 《千秋》, Shen Qiao at one point comments that Yan Wushi simply does not have a heart, but in 《山河剑心》, Yan Wushi does. He’s not quite the heartless sect leader of the novel, aloof and untouchable and casually cruel. The Yan Wushi of the donghua has subtle moments of interiority and deeply-hidden good intentions. In episode 16, he throws his life away to take a hit for Shen Qiao—an act of gratitude and self-sacrifice (and also dramatic flair, because c’mon, this is still Yan Wushi) that is far beyond the Yan Wushi of the novel at this point in the narrative.

In the book, Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao come together despite their differences. In the show, these two come together because of their similarities (i.e. an alliance against Beimu). It’s a subtle distinction, but a crucial one, because it weakens the themes of the book, which took such care to emphasize their differences and incompatibility, their roles as pieces of a larger puzzle. At the same time, the donghua strengthens the relationship between Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao—in making Yan Wushi less polarizing and extreme, the show makes his motivations more human and believable.

ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY—《千秋》 is stronger thematically, for taking the time and the space to work through the various aspects of Shen Qiao’s journey and the problems stacked against the Yanshen relationship. 《山河剑心》 is stronger dramatically, for increasing the relevance of characters and plot points that 《千秋》 often discards freely and flippantly. Regardless, I am having the time of my life consuming both.

[hunxi-after-hours]

Do you think that one of the things that attracted YWS to SQ is also SQ’s quiet confidence? Throughout the story, I don’t think SQ ever doubts his own abilities or feels sorry for himself. He appears to simply accept his injuries and a and just…adjusts to accommodate them and moves onward. Where YWS is all arrogance and showy confidence (and with the firepower to actually back it up), SQ is more like “I really don’t want to fight you but I will wipe the floor with you if you persist”. They are flip sides of the same coin. I think despite what he tells SQ about not qualifying as a rival, YWS did respect SQ’s abilities and tenacity, because he repeatedly tests SQ and chooses to stalk-…ahem, spend time with him. YWS strikes me as someone who loses interest in people quickly, and wouldn’t waste his time on anyone whom he thought was anything less than worthy (scientific experiment or otherwise). I also have cursed thoughts about how Lao Yan hasn’t had sex in a decade when he first encounters this intriguingly resilient and pretty guy. Just sayin’…LMAO

ahaha the hilarious thing is that Yan Wushi explains to Shen Qiao multiple times why he likes him, but the problem is, The Betrayal happened so Shen Qiao is like "hilarious. okay Yan-zongzhu why are you REALLY here" until Yan Wushi is just like 说了你都不信 / I TOLD you and you don't believe me

off the top of my head, there's this moment time in chapter... 78? 79?

...晏无师笑道：“食色性也，人人如此，我的确喜欢你的容貌，却更爱你对我爱答不理的冷淡，这又有什么不好承认的？..."

Yan Wushi laughed and said, "Food and sex are human nature--all people are so. While I am quite fond of your appearance, I love your aloof coolness more. Why shouldn't I admit this?..."

there's definitely another time when Shen Qiao is like 贫道何德何能得到晏宗主如此青睐 / What great virtue or ability does this lowly Daoist have to earn sect leader Yan's favor? but like, in that particular brand of Shen Qiao Deadpan (TM) and Yan Wushi just smiles and goes 你既有德又有能 / On the contrary, you are in possession of both great virtue and ability and it's like okay, okay sir, we get it you're in love but very understandably, Shen Qiao does not get it then

so like, yes, Yan Wushi is rather taken with both Shen Qiao's capability and virtue, determination and persistence, but I think that, despite his occasional lines to the contrary, Yan Wushi is most intrigued by the fact that Shen Qiao is--okay hear me out--a worthy opponent from day one

like you said anon, I think Yan Wushi is absolutely the kind of person who would lose interest in other people quickly, which is precisely why Shen Qiao is so intriguing

he starts out as a science experiment, right? Yan Wushi is on a walk and happens across Shen Qiao's body and is like "oh free sect leader? I'll take him, and see if I can turn him evil and/or drive him mad," because in Yan Wushi's worldview, those are the only two possible roads that Shen Qiao can take after Shen Qiao has lost so much

and what does Shen Qiao immediately do? prove Yan Wushi wrong

Shen Qiao, even while amnesiac, is locked in constant battle with Yan Wushi, except this isn't a contest of martial skill--the two of them are engaged in an ideological battle. Yan Wushi believes in the inevitable corruptibility of human nature. Shen Qiao plans to prove him wrong simply by being himself. Yan Wushi plans to prove Shen Qiao wrong by doing his literal worst. Shen Qiao, when he hears news of the impending attempt on Yan Wushi's life, decides to go back and save him not just for the greater political picture, but also because he wants to prove Yan Wushi wrong. literally, Shen Qiao says:

“我没有你想的那么伟大，我只是希望能再见那个人一面，看一看他的脸上失望的样子，让他知道，我没有被种下魔心，我也没有被魔心控制，我还是我。”

"I'm not as noble as you think. I just want to see that person one more time, to see the disappointed expression on his face and let him know that the demonic core didn't take in my heart, that I have not been controlled by the demonic core, that I am still me."

(not to say that Shen Qiao was like "I'm gonna go save this man's life out of SPITE" but like. he kinda did say that)

what's one of the first things we learn about Yan Wushi? it's that he's obsessed with the battle, the fight, the contest. the improvement of oneself and the triumphing over the other. he'll take risks, break taboos, invent new paths of cultivation to climb higher in martial achievement. he's really goddamn competitive, so it should come as no surprise that when Shen Qiao continually defeats him on the level of the ideological simply by refusing to roll over and die, of course Yan Wushi is going to pay attention. when was the last time someone had the audacity to remain stubbornly undefeated like this out of sheer will?

I do think that the Ruoqiang arc in general, and specifically the fall-out from the ambush is an extremely important tipping point in Yan Wushi's character development. it's one thing for Shen Qiao to save Yan Wushi's life--a life for a life, they're pretty much even now--but Shen Qiao continues to go above and beyond in protecting Yan Wushi. Shen Qiao himself doesn't think much of it, just considers it the logical thing to do (救人救到底，送佛送到西), but this is Yan Wushi we're talking about. when was the last time someone took care of Yan Wushi, tended his wounds, defended him ferociously, fought to bring him to safety? Yan Wushi cannot deny that Shen Qiao has shown Yan Wushi--heck, not just Yan Wushi, but also Xie Ling, the weakest and least worthy form of Yan Wushi--an unutterable amount of kindness, tenderness, and care, that I'm willing to bet Yan Wushi hasn't seen in decades

tl;dr despite all of his protests to the contrary, Yan Wushi never stood a goddamn chance

[hunxi-after-hours]

So this was gonna be a somewhat amusing discussion of if Yan Wushi was actually jealous or resentful towards his own personality (xie ling) for gaining Shen Qiao’s affections because I think it’s funny to think about and I never came to the conclusion of whether I think he was legit or if it was just for show and just to tease SQ. However, it got me thinking about deeper implications like about his past and perhaps him holding resentment towards that particular past when he was Xie Ling and whatever caused it. Maybe it could tie into SQ’s favoritism of that part of him like “I’m so superior to who I was in the past and yet he is the one you like?” It makes me wish we got some insight into when Yan Wushi was Xie Ling. But I am definitely overthinking this and dumping it all into your ask because I didn’t know who else to bother with this lol

anon you know exactly why you’re bothering me with this and it’s because this absolutely haunts me on a regular basis

I’ve mentioned off-hand before, buried somewhere in the absolute mess of my 《千秋》 tag, but I really do appreciate Meng Xishi’s decision to leave Yan Wushi’s backstory completely opaque and unknown, unknowable. we don’t know who Yan Wushi had been, what caused him to change, why he is like this--she just offers us the barest, tantalizing hints of who he might have been, who he might have become

(again, another reason why I thought Xie Xiang was going to be like. moderately relevant to the plot? and then he vanished and never showed up again)

what’s the first thing Yan Wushi says to Shen Qiao, when he’s delirious and nearly-dead from a head wound, before he remembers who Shen Qiao is, before he even remembers his own name?

don’t go.

which you can shrug off as something anyone would say if they had woken up, alone and hurting in an unfamiliar place, to the first person who shows them kindness. Shen Qiao certainly shrugs it off as Yan Wushi’s delirium, because he knows that the Yan Wushi he knows would scoff at weakness like that

don’t go. who left Yan Wushi, and why? who had they been to him?

what did their leaving do to him?

after I’d finished the book, I went back and re-read the little summary/hook/inside cover blurb for 《千秋》， and ended up spending way more time thinking about it than I’d expected to:

晏无师是从尸山血海里走过来的人。

他不相信人性本善，更不相信这世上会有大仁大义，不求回报为别人着想的人。

某日，有天下第一道门之称的玄都山掌教沈峤与人约战，却因故坠下山崖。

晏无师正好从下面路过。

看到重伤濒死的沈峤，他忽然生出一个绝妙的主意……

千秋之后，谁能不朽？

Yan Wushi was someone who had lived to today by walking across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.

He did not believe in the inherent goodness of human nature, nor did he believe that there could truly be a person who lived by great benevolence or righteousness, who would care for others with no expectation of reward.

One day, Shen Qiao—the sect leader of Xuandu Mountain, the greatest Daoist sect in the world—dueled an opponent, but for some unknown reason, fell from the peak. Yan Wushi just happened to be passing by below.

Seeing the heavily-injured Shen Qiao near death, he suddenly had an extremely clever, exceedingly ironic idea…

After all, who could remain uncorrupted after a thousand autumns?

first of all, I was struck that this passage is written from Yan Wushi’s point of view.

let that sink in for a bit. narration in this novel veers into omniscient on occasion, but for the most part we are firmly anchored with Shen Qiao’s perspective, following his journey and experiences, his emotions and struggles. we don’t get a ton of Yan Wushi interiority (the story of the stone is a notable exception), and I remember reading the one of the extras from Yan Wushi’s point of view (set shortly after The Betrayal) and being rather disoriented at his starkly different perspective, the shift of voice and narration

in a sense, this inside-cover blurb before we even get to the story proper is Yan Wushi’s backstory, the essence of his character and experiences that led him to the beginning of the book. Meng Xishi may not have written out his tragic backstory in graphic detail, but she gave us the essence and characterization of Yan Wushi before she gave us anything else

(this story may be about Shen Qiao, but it starts with Yan Wushi)

secondly, I kept thinking about the the first two lines, specifically because Meng Xishi could have left the first line out.

she could have started this blurb with “Yan Wushi did not believe in the inherent goodness of human nature” and the rest of the passage would have flowed just fine--everything about Yan Wushi wanting to mess with a fallen Shen Qiao, everything about the themes of purity/corruption, the title drop of ‘a thousand autumns.’ she could have left it at that, gotten the crux of Yan Wushi’s character across just fine, but no--she adds the line before that:

Yan Wushi was someone who had lived to today by walking across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.

which then, of course, implies causality. why doesn’t Yan Wushi believe in the inherent goodness of human nature? because he has walked across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.

the prevailing rumor in the jianghu is that Yan Wushi, before he renamed himself the masterless (haughty, arrogant, overbearing), held the surname Xie. and who were the Xies? one of the greatest families of the time (this is actually a historical reference: the 谢 Xie family was one of the Four Great Families during the Eastern Jin period)

Yan Wushi was someone who had lived to today by walking across mountains of corpses and oceans of blood.

whose corpses? whose blood? where is Xie Ling’s family, and where does all of Huanyue Zong’s money come from?

who is Xie Ling?

Yan Wushi is single-mindedly obsessed with achievement, with attaining ever greater heights in his cultivation. he has no need for friends; the only people who deserve to speak to him on his level are rivals, are opponents, are people who can challenge him, maybe even defeat him

which is to say--Yan Wushi does not care for the inherent goodness of human nature, or the merit of benevolence, because both have failed him. the only true law is might, the only true directive is selfish self-preservation. Yan Wushi continually tests and mocks Shen Qiao saying that that the only reason why Shen Qiao hasn’t lost hope, hasn’t given in to corruption yet, is simply because Shen Qiao has not yet come face-to-face with the level of suffering that would shatter his faith in morality, his belief in goodness, and Shen Qiao reluctantly concedes, because he did grow up and come of age in a rather sheltered environment, and perhaps, maybe, somewhere out there in the world is a force great enough to torment him into evil. Shen Qiao doesn’t know, and he can’t know until it happens. it’s not an argument he can win through logic or experience, and both Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi know that

who doesn’t want to be a good person? who doesn’t want to be righteous and admired, venerated and exalted?

what makes you believe in the inherent goodness of humanity, and what makes you lose faith? what kind of experience, what sights and horrors and sorrows and agonies lead you to the only conclusion that all goodness and morality are nothing more than empty words in the face of the need to survive?

Yan Wushi is single-mindedly obsessed with greater martial achievement--for pursuit of the martial way and actualization, sure, I think that’s what it becomes, but I don’t think that’s where it began. the simplest, saddest answer to that desire to become stronger, mightier, more powerful, is painfully, poignantly obvious--so no one else can hurt him

why doesn’t he need friends? because the only person who can stab you in the back is someone you trusted. why is he so dismissive of his disciples, harsh in his criticism and uncaring in his manner despite their resounding capability and inherent talent? because coddling Yu Shengyan and Bian Yanmei will do them no favors--only greater achievement, the amassing of power, resources, influence, skill can truly guarantee their survival and success

and then there’s Shen Qiao

when Shen Qiao comes back for Yan Wushi and saves his sorry corpse, Yan Wushi acknowledges that he had been wrong about Shen Qiao (about Shen Qiao specifically, not necessarily about human nature entirely) with surprising grace. admittedly, there are quite a lot of confounding factors (head injury, split personalities, hijinks and adventures in a deserted ghost city, further assassination attempts, etc etc), but once Shen Qiao defeats Yan Wushi’s ultimate test, Yan Wushi comes around surprisingly quickly, considering that Shen Qiao is a living, breathing, walking refutation of the laws Yan Wushi has lived his life by, built a bloodied reputation on. but Yan Wushi doesn’t go about re-shaping his understanding of the world or human nature; he simply opens a gap in those laws, large enough to fit Shen Qiao. Shen Qiao, to him, is the exception that proves the rule, and Shen Qiao, for that reason, is all the more precious

for decades, Yan Wushi didn’t believe that mythical creature, that legendary figure, that genuinely, purely good person who lived by great benevolence, who cared for others with no expectation of reward, truly existed, or even if they did, they died swiftly, foolishly, tragically, young

and here is Shen Qiao, doggedly hanging on to both his life and his silly, silly morals

of course Yan Wushi falls. of course Yan Wushi falls hard, chases, pursues, cherishes, protects. he hasn’t seen such light in years. he’s almost forgotten what it’s like to be warm, and here Shen Qiao comes, lit from inside with a flame that even Yan Wushi cannot douse

and so--who is Xie Ling, to Yan Wushi? someone young, and weak still; someone foolish enough to do things like trust a young man with a pretty face, needy enough to cling to a complete stranger who had shown him kindness, someone soft enough to go back for Shen Qiao when Yan Wushi himself has made it out of danger just fine. Xie Ling is who Yan Wushi had been, before he’d bettered himself, made himself stronger, more invulnerable to the injustices and assaults this world hurls at him

and Shen Qiao has the audacity to care about Xie Ling, even knowing that Xie Ling is a transient ghost, a wisp of a soul, a shadow of a self not long for this world? Shen Qiao has the absolute goddamn gall to mourn who Yan Wushi had been?

Yan Wushi is jealous, absolutely; resentful, even; and more than anything, I think, he is furiously, desperately angry, because here is Shen Qiao, thirty years too late, crying over a boy that Yan Wushi had buried with his own hands, with his old name

all of which is to say--Meng Xishi does a devastatingly masterful job of giving us just enough hints about Yan Wushi’s backstory to know what matters (trust and betrayal, kindness and pain), and how perfectly Shen Qiao upsets everything in Yan Wushi’s world with the force of his own pain and power, brokenness and brilliance

[soupy-the-only-one]

Patalliro! The Movie

Bancoran and Maraich love song

[distort-opia]

I'm sorry, I will go nuts about Thousand Autumns on main, because this bit from Volume 2, Chapter 46 has been living in my brain rent free:

Yan Wushi literally just traded Shen Qiao for a sword he didn't even need, to a man who very likely would rape him and kill him, knowing Shen Qiao's only choice was to self-destruct and die. The worst possible betrayal... right after Shen Qiao had started to see Yan Wushi as a friend, to think that even if Yan Wushi was a monster to everyone else, maybe to him he could be different; maybe there was a speck of humanity hidden inside him.

And still, after all that, in excruciating agony after having shattered his own foundations and barely alive, Shen Qiao goes over every interaction they ever had and thinks that even if he could go back, and undo it... he wouldn't change it. He wouldn't take back knowing Yan Wushi, learning about the world, breaking out of his naive and secluded worldview. It makes me want to chew glass, because of course I've also seen people go "But when did Shen Qiao develop feelings for Yan Wushi?" and it's all... right there, with this being one of the most beautiful and subtle moments. Shen Qiao did fall first, and then couldn't even take it back, didn't want to take it back. And then cried about it. Someone save me from the Yanshen shaped Hell I find myself in!!

And I love MXS's writing because this isn't forgotten. Later on, in Volume 3, Chapter 79, Yan Wushi himself asks this, right before he sacrifices his own safety to lure Sang Jingxing away from Shen Qiao, in a reversal of what he did before:

Shen Qiao says he doesn't regret it. And I swear, when I first read the novel, at this part I instantly went "OH GOD YAN WUSHI WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO YOU HORRIBLE BASTARD NOOO" but then he proceeds to save Shen Qiao. All while spewing bullshit about how it doesn't actually mean anything. There's no feelings involved, of course not!

It's just. I love the symmetry of it, which is clearly intentional. Of having Shen Qiao, after Yan Wushi's betrayal, find himself unable to regret having met him. And then the same thing, but explicitly, right before Yan Wushi's one conscious, unselfish act of kindness.

[korol--reznii]

[khywae]

Hey everyone!

Before the Darkness, a Geto Suguru dating sim is out now for free on itch.io! With the end of Jujutsu Kaisen, I hope this game offers some comfort to those of us still lingering in delulu land, giving our beloved characters the happy endings they deserve 💖

Summary:

The year is 2017, and Geto Suguru has announced a terrorist attack in Tokyo and Kyoto. You’re tasked with seeing possible futures to predict his moves. Despite everything he’s done, you never stopped loving him. So when you discover a way to go back and change his dark fate, you don’t hesitate. But changing the past doesn’t come without consequences. Geto’s obsession with killing shifts into an obsession with you. Can you break the cycle of pain and tragedy, or will you become trapped in a fate worse than the one you tried to rewrite? Be Geto’s light… before the darkness consumes you both.

The game has two endings, can you get them both? 👀

P.S.: There’s currently a poll on Patreon to decide the fandom and guy for October’s game. I’ll update you soon on who the lucky winner is!

[khywae]

Gojo Satoru needs a new teacher. Will you be the mentor he needs, or something more? Teacher's Pet is out now on itch.io! Enjoy ♡♡♡

[catmask]

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

[catmask]

BRO?

[themysteriousinternetentity]

anon is a puritan who time traveled to remind us all that novels lead to sinful flights of fancy and we must read naught but the scriptures

[themysteriousinternetentity]

the problem with ice cream is that it is inherently degrading to the original milk, and the act of creating it is inherently self-indulgent and perverted. even when it isn’t filled with pieces of candy/baked goods (though that is the most blatant example), the person creating it is doing so just because it makes them feel good or they enjoy fantasizing about certain flavor profiles and combinations. it’s gross and masturbatory. not to mention that many ice cream makers use freezers, an appliance riddled with many problems.

[nitrochiralfan]

Lamento Beyond the Void Official Visual Fanbook White Notes: Kabura Fuchii at Scriptwriter Interview

Keep reading

[lunatis18]

For anybody unaware, these shots of Argenti from the new livestream are inspired by Lady Oscar from Rose of Versailles, a shoujo manga from the 70s.

[frillyfujoshidev]

Cool-B Lamento Beyond the Void Comic Anthology 2 Let’s Play with Papa by Homuro Mita

[frillyfujoshitranslations]

Lamento Beyond the Void Expiatio (Tomoko Kanemaki/N+C) Chapter 1

Caput 1

Rai always got information about bounties from a bar in the back alleys of Ransen. Ransen—was the largest city in the center of Shisa. Built on ‘two stick’ ruins, it was a large town where things, cats, and information all gathered. Shisa was an island country surrounded by a coral reef. Having a central formation of several villages around Ransen, it hadn’t had much interaction from the surrounding countries. The lord of Ransen ceremoniously rules over all of Shisa, but each of the villages have their own system of governing, so he rarely interfered. You could say that Shisa was a self-governed country composed of small villages. He had heard there was prey in the forest near Ransen, so he was going there for the bounty. There was a secret hideout in the forest to go to for bounties. Normally, a cat could live comfortably off a bounty for about a year. Bounties were the only thing he worked for. Rai was in fact a bounty hunter. He’d swing his sword, take down the bounty, and collect the money. It was the sort of occupation that depended on his own strength and sword. Bounties weren’t always necessarily cats. Lately there had been a lot of bounties for demons. Once the ‘void’ started to cover the world, the number of demon sightings had increased. Rai was currently in the forest to capture that sort of bounty.

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[sakasamarainbow]

Analysis//Otome game sales in 2022

Better late than never…? For newcomers, the otome game market in Japan is a sporadic topic I’ve been writing about and analysing once in a blue moon. It is my hope that as I do more, I’ll get better at it but who knows. My past posts: Up until 2017 with seedy data From 2017 to 2020 with better data Analysis//Otome game sales in 2021 plus some side notes If you want to know what an otome game…

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[mielipuolistapaskaa]

[edgeworth-s]

the author’s name is wright i can’t believe my eyes

[cacaitos]

springs to come.