I hope your silent retreat is awesome! Do you have any recommended resources for doing Lent when you struggle with scrupulosity, especially around food/disordered eating?
I knew this would be a long answer, so I'm sorry for waiting this long to respond, I just needed to set time aside for it.
I'm going to get on my soapbox for a moment and say we desperately need more resources across the board for scrupulous Catholics. In a Catholic bookstore, 95% have a theme of "improve this virtue! root out this vice! clean up your act, become more faithful!" Now these things are good! But they specifically have a target audience of a normal to lax conscience. Now consider the fact that someone purchasing devoutly Catholic literature in the first place has a vastly higher percentage probability of being scrupulous. The result of this is that the scrupulous Catholic who purchases these books rarely if ever recognizes that these resources are not helping them grow in holiness - they are just feeding the scrupulosity, which they think is holiness. Which is incidentally what I have done my whole life until a few years ago.
Okay, rant done. But I wanted to say that because no, I cannot think of specific resources for Lent when you struggle with scrupulosity. I can recommend a few books about scrupulosity in general, and I can give my own advice. The gold standard book for scruples is Understanding Scrupulosity Thomas Santa, CSsR. He really breaks down what scrupulosity is and how to overcome it. Another book which is on my wishlist but that I haven't read is Scruples and Sainthood: Overcoming Scrupulosity with the Help of the Saints. Colleen Carroll Campbell has a new book I am listening to called The Heart of Perfection and it is really good. Also, if you google "Catholic Scrupulosity" there are a bunch of articles that discuss it that I have found helpful.
The biggest help by far, more than any of these combined, is St. Therese. Literally anything St. Therese! She HAD scrupulosity, and her spirituality she developed was her antidote to it. 33 days to Merciful Love, The Little Way of Lent, and reading St. Therese's own writings on scrupulosity have helped me heal so much and have reoriented how I traverse my spiritual life during Lent (and all seasons).
For food issues specifically, again, there is really nothing. I have had an eating disorder since age 15 that has taken many twists and turns, including a 5 month hospitalization, so believe me, I have looked. There is one (TINY) book called Weightless by Kate Wicker, a Catholic woman who tells her story of recovering from an eating disorder, but I found it unhelpful because she came to love her body when she became a mother, which wasn't something I identified with as a single woman. I also read Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God but I found it to be very spiritually shallow. The Catholic Table: Finding Joy Where Food and Faith Meet by Emily Stimpson Chapman is one that has good reviews but I have not read it. I know she had an eating disorder at one point, but the focus of the book is relationship between food and God I think.
Now for my advice: Get a spiritual director who you trust, who you like, and who understands scrupulosity. They will be the best thing to help you navigate the spiritual life with scruples. For food during Lent, my spiritual director said that those who have disordered eating are exempt from fasting and abstinence from food, and can instead fast from other things like TV. I know you're scrupulous so you're probably doubting me, but ask any priest you trust! Allowing myself to observe the fasting in Lent in non-traditional ways has really helped me not see Lent as a time to engage in damaging food behaviors or reignite my disorder. Finally, remember - fasting is a spiritual practice to help us detach from earthy things. The only reason the Church has historically fasted/abstained from food is that it is our most basic human desire and literally everyone eats! So it is not fasting from food that makes the devotion special. You fasting from other things during Lent is not less than others or going against the Church. God wants us to draw near to Him through fasting, and with disordered eating, you will be focused on the food behavior, not God.
I hope some or any of this helped! I pray you have a peaceful Lent.
