Hey there! So, a little birdie told me you're new to my blog, well welcome to Hell in written form!
My name is King, but you can call me King. Or King if you want, I'm very flexible.
This page is 18+ only! Well, maybe a few 16+ here and there, but let's face it, the older you are the better. So absolutely NO CHILDREN!
Here you're not gonna see anything you wouldn't read to your mother, but maybe one day ;)
So for now, prepare for the gore, prepare for the war, and prepare for the worst and most cursed ships of your life.
I'm adding this here because if you don't read this part, trust me, I'll know.
Here's what I am willing to write:
Gore
Angst
Cheating
Happy shit
Here's what I won't write (on Tumblr at least):
Intimate moments
Incest
Certain kinks
Here's what I won't write at all:
CP
Weird kinks
So yeah! If you got this far, enjoy the cursed and the worst shit you'll ever see. And hey, drop me a request and I might consider it! If it's cursed enough...
Just wanted to say as the requester I enjoyed that ;)
Awe, thank you so much! I only cried once writing it. :)
If you wanted an 18+ version, I'll always write them on ao3. Same username, same cursed ships, more sin.
Requests are open for anyone who wants to see something not written so far! (Maybe not anime though or real life people, since I don't watch anime and having a Thomas Jefferson x Donald Trump fanfic of real people isn't on my to do list at the moment)
Personal rating: I give this a scooby snack/10, thanks for the suggestion anon
Summary: Scooby needed help. Shaggy ate too many scooby snacks and fell asleep, and he really needs to takes a piss. Luckily, a handsome little birdie flew in the window at just the right time. Scooby knew birds were smart, maybe he can open the door. Little did he know, Pericles was there for more than just helping Scoob. He wanted some seeds. Or seed.
Warnings: Might be considered omo shit, Pericles is a weird little bird who just wants to eat
It was an ordinary, wet, humid, depressing day. Shaggy ate far too many scooby snacks, more than his small twink body could handle, and he passed out on the couch. Scooby isn’t too worried since it’s happened before, but it couldn’t have come at a worst time.
He has to pee. Like, really badly. Last time he pissed on Shaggy’s floor, he was banned from scooby snacks for a week! He isn’t sure if he could handle that. But he doesn’t have thumbs like humans. He could always use his mouth to turn the handle, but even he knows how bad of an idea that is. Plus, Shaggy didn’t usually wash his hands.
Scooby whines softly, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. He can feel his bladder pulsate, begging to be emptied. If Shaggy keeps doing this, Scoob won’t mind doing it in a shoe.
The more Scooby paces, the more it throbs. It’s starting to hurt to walk now. Scoob is close to exploding. Conveniently, he found his savior at the best time.
A bird he chased once upon a time crash right into the window, scaring just a little bit of piss out of the dog. Right as Scoob goes to sniff it, the bird jumps to life. Wait a minute, Scoob recognized this bird. It was Professor Pericles!
“Roressor Rericles?!” Scoob barks out, getitng into a threatening pose. The bird just scoffs as he dusts himself off.
“Calm down you mutt. I am not here for small talk, nor here to collect my disks. I am here for...assistance if you will.” Pericles says, seemingly embarrassed my his request. Now Scooby was confused.
“Relp? Rith rut?” Scooby asks, now taking a seat. If Pericles doesn’t want to hurt Scooby, then what does he want.
Professor Pericles’ eyes drift down Scoob’s body for a second, lingering a bit too long before he clears his throat and looks back at Scooby’s face.
“I am craving...some seed.”
“Reed?”
“Yes. But not any seed you know. There is a specific blend I like. One that only a specific animal can bring.”
“Ranimal?” Seeds don’t typically come from animals. At least, Scooby doesn’t think so. What other seed could Pericles be talking about?
Professor Pericles walks up to Scooby, settling between Scoob’s paws, pushing against Scoob’s very full bladder. Scooby lets out a slight whine. When Pericles hears that whine, he can’t help but push more.
“I think someone needs help of his own. We can help each other out you know.” Pericles says, glancing behind himself at Scooby for a moment. Nothing but hunger in his eyes, and Scooby can’t help but feel too desperate to disagree.
Who’s involved: Oogway (Kung Fu Panda), Nick Wilde (Zootopia)
Personal rating: I almost cried
Warnings: Not proofread, just posed in all its glory. Interspecies for the win
Summary: Nick was just a shell of his former self. After Judy became mayor, she had little time for her poor cop partner. She was too busy trying to commit fraud for her carrot farming family. Nick was alone in a club, or was he? Once he saw that glistening shell under the multi-coloured lights, it was all over for him.
Nick sighs softly, swirling his drink in the brown colored glass. After another day of hard work, you would think he wants to go home and rest. Maybe even take a bubble bath and have some private time, but no. He's here, sitting at a bar with dozens of strangers and watching dancers get money thrown at them from desperate animals.
That's something he's always been jealous of. There's rarely any predator strippers. It's always bothered him no one wanted to see a cheetah or a wolf strip. Foxes were out of the question. All there are are gazelles and a few deer, but nothing that suits him. Another issue, they're females.
Gay strip clubs were rare, even more rare if they let predators in. While he wasn't entirely gay, he was bi. He leaned more towards the male side of things though.
Speaking of rare sights to see, light bouncing off a shell caught his eye. A turtle? He hasn't seen many reptiles or amphibians around here. So this guy is definitely new to the area, but he didn't seem lost. He knew exactly where to sit to not get attention on him. Nick thinks for a few moments, trying to think if approaching the suspicious turtle was a good idea. He could be hiding something dangerous after all, but Nick was a cop for crying out loud. He lived in the line of fire.
So he gathers up what's left of his courage and stands up, taking his drink with him to the lone turtle.
"Hey." He says once close enough, not knowing what else to say. The turtle slowly looks up, a glimpse of mischief in his eyes. He's wearing a cape of some sort, along with a hat. That was definitely odd to Nick. No one wears hats anymore. Hell, some don't even wear clothes.
"Hello there," the turtle replies, sending a shiver down Nick's spine at how smooth his voice was. It was almost like...silk.
"I don't see many turtles around here you know, are you new?" Nick asks, taking a seat across the other. The turtle lets out a soft chuckle.
"I am returning from a mission close by." The turtle replies, slowly taking a sip of water from his own glass. Water? Who gets water at a strip joint?
"Mission? Like...one of the church ones? I mean, I don't hang out around that much so I wouldn't know, but isn't a strip club kinda...I don't know, against your beliefs or something?" Nick was genuinely confused. All the people who did missionary stayed far out of this area. As they called it "a sinful place". The turtle just laughs, the loose skin around his neck bouncing lightly.
"No, young one, I am a Kung Fu Master. I was informed of a runaway ox, and came here to find out and put a stop to him. I am known as Master Oogway." Nick's jaw drops a little, a master??? Of Kung Fu? This old man? There were so many questions running through Nick's head, but he couldn't figure out which was the least offensive, so he just continued on.
"Oh...wow. And here I thought I was good at my job." He chuckles slightly. "What do you do as a kung fu master? Is there like...protocol you have?"
"Protocol? About what exactly?"
"Well...you know...private matters..." Nick mumbles the last part a bit, realizing how it sounded. He didn't mean for it to come out like that, but Oogway didn't seem to mind.
"I have devoted my life to kung fu. All other forms of connection and nothing but a choice I do not choose." He said, pausing for a moment before continuing. "As long as I have lived I have been devoted to the arts, but I have missed much. As I grow older, and the universe pulls me closer to my last breath, I wish to experience things I have not in my prime." Nick nods, mentally deciphering the words in his mind. Oogway spoke words of absolute wisdom, even if Nick didn't understand.
"What things are you looking to experience?"
"This club is a start. I never never seen such animals be as provocative as this." Oogway says, looking around slowly before laying his eyes once again on Nick. "Are you here for the same reason?"
"What? Oh, no no no. I just...I don't know, needed to clear my head I guess. I'm a cop, so it can be a little stressful sometimes. This kind of club isn't really my thing, but the ones I'm interested are...not very catering towards my species. Being a fox and all you know."
"Mmm, I understand. In my home village, we do not come across many foxes. I don't see that as a reason to not like you. You are an animal, as am I." Ooogway says, confused how someone can just be untrusted for their species.
"Where is your ideal place?" Oogway asks curoiusly. Nick's cheeks just heat up as he rubs the back of his neck.
"I'm not too sure how someone of your class would be interested in it."
"Do not judge me for my class, as I have not judge you for yours." Oogway says with a mischievous grin. "Nothing can surprise me."
"...a gay strip club."
"...that does surprise me." Oogway says after a pause. He thinks over the comment for a bit before speaking.
"Would you like to demonstrate what goes on in these "male clubs"." He says, pointing a finger in the direction of the private rooms. Nick's cheeks have never been redder. Was this the turtle's way of flirting? Cause if it was, it sure did work.
Nick just wordlessly takes Oogway's hand, leading him towards the rooms. If it's a show Oogway wants, it's a show he'll get.
Read the rest on my ao3 (explicit version) “hitmelikeaship”
