bury your softness

i bowed my head low to the crescent moon  /  i bathed in the light of this celestial guillotine

[hlycrwn]

hello all;  i’ve decided im going to soft reboot dimitri as i feel i’ve overstressed myself here to the point of not wishing to be here at all. what that means is essentially i will be   dropping all threads  &  doing a following clean out.   if you would like to continue being mutuals  /  interacting with me  please  like this  post so i know .  i’ll rb this a few times and probably get on cleaning up here within the next week.   hope you’ve all been well xoxo

[hlycrwn]

hello all;  i’ve decided im going to soft reboot dimitri as i feel i’ve overstressed myself here to the point of not wishing to be here at all. what that means is essentially i will be   dropping all threads  &  doing a following clean out.   if you would like to continue being mutuals  /  interacting with me  please  like this  post so i know .  i’ll rb this a few times and probably get on cleaning up here within the next week.   hope you’ve all been well xoxo

[hlycrwn]

hello all;  i’ve decided im going to soft reboot dimitri as i feel i’ve overstressed myself here to the point of not wishing to be here at all. what that means is essentially i will be   dropping all threads  &  doing a following clean out.   if you would like to continue being mutuals  /  interacting with me  please  like this  post so i know .  i’ll rb this a few times and probably get on cleaning up here within the next week.   hope you’ve all been well xoxo

[hlycrwn]

hello all;  i’ve decided im going to soft reboot dimitri as i feel i’ve overstressed myself here to the point of not wishing to be here at all. what that means is essentially i will be   dropping all threads  &  doing a following clean out.   if you would like to continue being mutuals  /  interacting with me  please  like this  post so i know .  i’ll rb this a few times and probably get on cleaning up here within the next week.   hope you’ve all been well xoxo

[hlycrwn]

merry christmas to those that celebrate !!  &  to those that don’t i hope you have a wonderful day nonetheless !  ;v;

[hlycrwn]

still have a bunch of bday asks for dimitri to answer but i probably wont get to them til after the holidays aaaa ,,,  in the meantime tho if you’d like to send smth in feel free !!  i plan on answering everything just , need the time to do it ajifklasdf 

[hlycrwn]

DIMITRI’S BIRTHDAY 2019    .    ACCEPTING     /      it’s an easy decision and a strangely hard action — but today is a day that he could never truly forget, in the end. particularly not now. not ever. still, there are more graceful ways to go about it than placing the sheathed, beautifully made, perfectly tempered and balanced sword by a legendary blacksmith on dimitri’s desk without so much as a by your leave. particularly there are better things to say than, “here,” but none of them seem quite fitting. something like ‘i love you’ lingers.

                HE REMEMBERS WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN  ,  YEAR AFTER YEAR WITHOUT FAIL HE WOULD OPEN HIS DOOR     to hear felix  ,  out of breath  ,  darting up the final flight of stairs to the hallway holding the royal chambers  ,  excitement mixed in with his self - made fatigue .  in a flash he’d find himself all but   tackled   ,  body barreled into to be held in a tight hug and a trill of   happy birthday  ,  mitya !   ringing in his ear as laughter bubbled forth from his own lips  ,  his arms wrapping tight ‘round felix’s slightly smaller stature .  and he remembers the years that followed  ,  the   break   between them  ,  the dissonance of the man and the monster and   /   the boy they both left behind in pursuit of bloodying claws and gnashing fangs and where love once resided only   fear   remained  ,  their sanguine thread cut by his own doing .  that should have been the end of it  ,  really  ,  the road where they   stopped   ,  felix on his own path and dimitri gathering his footing upon his and the concept of holidays and birthdays and   celebration   between the two of them coming to a screeching halt with only the distant echo of   what once   to nip at their ears in the quiet solitude of long and lonely nights .   and it is strange  ,  then  ,  that it didn’t   ;   dimitri is not ungrateful of course  ,  finding relief and thanks in his heart every morning he wakes with the knowledge that felix has not left  ,  that there is a body in his body aside from his own and it is warm and scarred and   perfect .   strange  ,  nonetheless  ,  that their story would continue into act iii  ,  a softer epilogue   /   softer than he deserves  ,  surely .

he’d forgotten what day it was  ,  truthfully  ,  waking in the morning to press lips to felix’s temple ‘fore dressing himself  ,  heading to his office to settle at his desk before the   mountain   of paperwork he finds himself filtering through each day  ,  somehow making no apparent progress at all no matter how empty his space is when he retires to bed .  so focused upon that task the date  ,  or at least the event   accompanying   failed to rustle up much of anything in his head beyond the usual plans he held for the day and as such it is slightly   jarring   when felix arrives some hours later  ,  doors thrown open and item in hand .   dimitri   jumps   slightly at the action  ,  head snapping upward to focus attention upon lover and he hardly has the time to get out a puzzled    ‘  felix  ----  ?  ’    before aforementioned item is being dropped before him  ,  barely missing the nearby inkwell .

still he moves his ink away  ,  just in case .

❛     ━━   oh .     ❜              eloquent as always  ,  he blinks several times as he registers what’s been given and he is  ,  as always  ,  immensely grateful for felix’s learned patience as he catches up to the fact that it is  ,  in fact  ,   his own birthday   and this is undoubtedly a   gift    for said occasion .   ‘  here  ’    he’d said  ,  and somehow it sounds like a promise in hindsight .               ❛     ━━   ah  ,  i  ---  i mean   thank you  ,  felix  ,  you simply caught me off guard .     ❜               &   a sheepish smile  ,  the faintest blush  ,  works its way unto his visage to accompany his bashful follow - up .

quick is he then to reach for it  ,  the sword taken into his hands and he admires the sheath first and foremost  ,  noting the intricacies were not spared here despite being but the home for the more important part of his present and there is a small smile to appear as he runs his fingers over it  ,  feeling the carefully woven textures with a quiet delight .   but he knows that is not the part felix is waiting on him to see and he’s tested his patience   enough   for one day   ;   blade is thus removed from its sheath  ,  metal glinting in the light of the sun that pours in from nearby window and even had he had the time to catch the   gasp   that escapes him upon seeing the handiwork he is doubtful he would have attempted to stop it .

it is   beautiful   ,  not that dimitri expected otherwise but expectations have been succeeded in every possible way and he is near   breathless   as he looks it over  ,  places it upon his desk with the utmost care so he may slide his fingers o’er its surface .   there are carvings made into the blade itself  ,  shallow and intricate and   filled   with a silvery - white material he cannot identify yet can   sense   is home to some manner of magic and the hilt  ,  the   hilt   because it cannot stop there  ,  no   ,  is a   stunning   shade of navy blue and silver that fits the grip of his hand as though it was born to be wielded by him and him alone .   dimitri is silent a while  ,  simply looking it over in absolute awe  ,  examining every inch  ,  every centimeter  ,  of his new blade ‘fore a proper   grin   stretches over his lips .

❛     it is a beautiful gift .  i  ...  find myself at a loss for words  ,  truly .     ❜               love   laces every syllable of his soft tone  ,  lifting from his seat to reach for felix’s hands as he walks ‘round the outside of his desk .   dimitri holds it close once he has found what he was reaching for  ,  presses lips to each individual knuckle and lifts his head with an expression carrying only a quiet fondness and open adoration   ;   they are but the slightest distance from one another  ,  close as can be without being confining .               ❛     thank you  ,  felix .   you are more than gift enough but this blade a wonderful accompaniment .     ❜

thumbs rubbing over the back of felix’s hand  ,  gentle   ,  careful little motions .   loving   little motions .  

❛     it seems a shame not to put it to use right away   ;   a blade such as this hardly deserves to exist only within its sheath  ,  wouldn’t you agree ?     ❜               a tug  ,  gentle  ,  as he begins to step back .               ❛     come  ,  felix .   won’t you spar with me ?     ❜

@knightsdeath​     /     in the end  ,  he thinks he finds the epilogue his favorite of their chapters

[hlycrwn]

DIMITRI’S BIRTHDAY 2019   .   ACCEPTING     /      like a doll on hooks of composition, she stands before the man ( repressed family ) & crosses her arms. her hair flows slightly in the wind & she gives it a confident toss from her face. ' I hear from my class it's your birthday. Did you tell no one ? Needless to say, I hope you make it count. Don't let this new year fail you. '

                ONCE  ,  HE LIVED IN A MANNER WHERE HIS BIRTHDAY EXISTED FAR BEFORE HE DID ON ITS DAWNING DAY  ,     his eyes yet to even consider opening before there were already lavish decorations strewn about the castle  ,  festivals in the streets  ,  an entire   list   of events planned for the day for himself and those he held close     ━━━━━     now he wakes to a quiet of his own design  ,  the birds chirping overhead and the students holding conversations among themselves a replacement for the   fanfare   he once received and it is a welcome thing  ,  this lack of pomp and circumstance .   he had loved it once as a child but now  ...  just the thought of a proper celebration sends his stomach churning and it is not by accident that he has failed to make an announcement to those around him that today is the anniversary of his birth   ;   those that remember  ,  shall remember .   those that do not or care not to act upon it  ,  simply will not .   either way he is content to spend the day no different than any other .  

but of course despite efforts to the contrary there could be no way to prevent word of mouth  ,  the whispers of the   coming of age   of the king - to - be  ,  talk   of how much longer his throne must exist beneath an   unfit   ruler now that he is in a position to claim it for himself and he is grateful  ,  at least  ,  that the questions regarding such have mostly only been overheard in passing rather than asked of him directly as truthfully  ,  he hasn’t the slightest idea what sort of answer he should give to such expectant eyes .   however of those that have wished him well this day he finds a particular   relief   in edelgard’s approach  ,  familiar face   &   the only family that remains  ,  that has come with him to the monastery and the smile he offers is sincere  ,   easy  ,  despite its petite size .

❛     edelgard  . . .  thank you .  i admit i was hoping to keep the day something of a secret  ,  but i suppose the thought was foolish .   whether or not i would choose to say anything i have little doubt dedue and ingrid were quick to spread word of it .     ❜               to their classmates initially  ,  he’s sure  ,  and then they to other classmates and they to others  ...  ah well .  at least it is still considerably less   festive   than when he was but a boy and for that at least he cannot bring himself to feel wholly uncomfortable  ,  despite the   guilt   this particular day brings with it .               ❛     your well wishes are appreciated  ,  however .   as it is i was hoping to go riding for a while as a small gift to myself   ;   it would be a delight to have you join me  ,  if you’ve no prior engagements already .     ❜

@guileheart​     /     let us make our memories soft  ,  while we still are able

[hlycrwn]

TODAY IS DIMITRI’S BIRTHDAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[hlycrwn]

just a tiny baby note that while i am home  ,  that seasonal depression™ is hittin hard lol so while im not ditching this blog i can b considered to be on a semi hiatus while i just like … sort myself out u feel me 

[hlycrwn]

✦  ▌█   ❛  (   001 . * ◞  SEARIA  ⁝  ! ·

▂▂ ♂ ▂▂

   "Interrupted? Hardly,“ she could sense him coming, but there was no need to tell him that. “I find these days there’s always someone a little restless on the grounds past curfew.” Not that she’d blame any number of the student body, given how rough and jagged some of them felt. His gaze wanders to the broken sandbags that are piled to the corner, their contents spilling onto the floor and mixing with the padded dirt in the training grounds. “No, you’re not in my way at all.” She responds warmly, moving to wipe at her face again with the hem of her shirt, turning to readjust the positioning of her self-made target, and propping her arm over it while he answers her.       A polite young man, maybe too polite for his own good sometimes. Apprehension hangs over him like a cloud, like a moving cage that follows him around. There’s a restraint she feels crawl down his arms and ball his fists, but she understands such fears. The want to not hurt or injure others with ones power. “I don’t underestimate your strength at all, Dimitri, but if it would put you better at ease, find a seat.” It wouldn’t do well to convince him should she push him, the young prince is not someone she’d think peer pressure is effective on in the way she’d wish to be. He may crack under it, but it builds nothing meaningful in the end.

   "Mull on this, but I wouldn’t teach you to hit me first, I’d teach you to redirect blows. Being unarmed, people will think you defenseless, and it will terrify them to know you are not. Putting people off kilter is a skill everyone should have, even if they do not need to use it often.“       With that, she parts from the target, backing away from it a pace or two before settling on a memory. Something she has done before, a place and time where she can remember she was hard pressed to fight with all her skill. Her body language relaxes, her hands open, slowly her feet move to position while her hands come in front of her as if she is prepared to grab at the weaponless sandbag. Blaze keeps her hands ready to grasp for remembered weapons, deflect hands, it is how she was retrained under better tutelage than her former masters.

   Dimitri may as well not be in the room anymore, and Blaze takes to the dummy with a shockingly quick kick to the upper target, her foot pounding into the side before it becomes a full spin with the use of momentum to kick lower, and alternate with her other foot to ascend higher up off the dummy and kick off. Flipping back, she’s back at the tough leather again with her hands which have now properly balled into fists as she comes in for a series of rapid blows, each seeming to threaten the stability of how the sandbag has been affixed in front of her before she skips back on her feet, re-assuming her open posture with her hands.       Now things grow more complicated, she turns, she flows, she bends. As hard as she went in, now she remembers the feeling of spinning past The Falchion, and having to redirect the heavy momentum of The Ragnell. Weaving herself between blades unseen, Blaze ducks and rolls from the blade that would have sliced her up the back, and kicks upwards where he would have been in mid-leap. She mustn’t forget the attack from up above, threatening to crush her! The movement of her leg coming up leads the rest of her, as she gets back on her feet and flips again, her hands catching her fall as she goes backwards and jutting both feet in a harsh kick where a spine would have been. 

   Enemies are everywhere! She can remember her foes, reborn as allies, well enough that she has memorized them. She can relive them when she needs to, accessing them in this way is no difficult task. This goes on for some more time, bright green eyes shut all the while, and it ends when the third sandbag is sent careening into the wall behind it, a tear brought into it by the force at which Blaze’s foot swiped it. Once the sound of it hitting the ground hits her ears, eyes open again, and Blaze stands with a short exhale, readjusting to push hair out of her face. "As solid as I usually pride myself on being, the fluidity of movement in a close quarters fight with melee attackers is omni-important. The flexibility and option to change and adapt to changes and openings."        She hardly sounds out of breath, barely looks like she’s broken much more of a sweat than she had before. "Would you let me show you stances, at the very least?” While the routine wasn’t really meant for his eyes, not really to teach but simply to show him that she is without compare and that she is able to manage what he has not mastered yet. Searia still beams with a warm invitation, holding a hand out to invite him to his feet and join her.

                IT IS NOT AS THOUGH HE IS UNAWARE OF HOW LITTLE HE TRULY KNOWS OF THE WOMAN BEFORE HIM  ,     knows that were he to be asked he would undoubtedly fail to answer even the most basic of queries regarding her person     ━━━━━     place of birth  ,  favorite pastime  ,  family lineage  ,  country of origin  ...  the list goes on  ,  and on     ━━━━━     but somehow that is not enough to stop him from feeling such an acute pang of   ignorance   &   surprise   as he watches her from his sideline seat .   searia fights well  ,  of course  ,  and equally in a manner unlike any soldier or knight or mere   student   he’s ever found himself in the company of  ;  as though body itself were her weapon  ,  her shield  ,  her   molten steel   to be forged in but split - second moments into whatever mold best fits the situation at present time .   for all that he does not know of her he can say that in his moment he truly feels as though he knows   nothing at all   ,  and further more thinks that may very well being of her own design .

he doesn’t mind  ,  of course  ,  but it is startling how strongly an already - known fact can still hit .

if nothing else he is aware she’s   impressive .   enough so  ,  even  ,  that he permits himself the thought of whether or not sparring in close - quarters would prove   safe   ,  stomach churning at the thought of a session gone horribly wrong   /   chest warming at the idea of being able to practice without the   worry   he carries near permanently within him from as young an age as he can recall being .   not that he is so foolish as to believe her invincible nor himself incapable of mistakes  ,  but  ...  there’s a   hope   ,  small and budding somewhere from microfractures lining his rib cage as he watches her display and that means something  ,  on some level .   and when she comes to a stop the apprehension is not   gone   ,  per - se  ,  her extended hand still something to be wary of and he does   hesitate   in moving from his position  ;  but that he can consider it at all ?   what an anomaly  ,  what a change  ,  and he has no idea if it is his better or worse judgement in this moment as he slowly lifts a hand to take her own  ,  to allow himself to be tugged to his feet  ,  but it’s the call he is making nonetheless .  a declaration of trust   /   a declaration of understanding in regards to the skill she so clearly has .

❛     i admit that it is difficult to fully shake the uncertainty that i have  ,  but seeing your ability in such a manner has proven worth setting some of it aside .   and as it stands it would be of a benefit to me to improve my combat beyond simply my capabilities with a lance .     ❜               a smile  ,  hand releasing her own to fall back at his side once he is standing firm upon the ground beneath their feet .               ❛     if you’re certain it would not be too much of a bother for you then i would like to accept your offer .   it is clear there is much you could teach me .     ❜

[hlycrwn]

✦  ▌█   ❛  (   001 . * ◞  V  ⁝  ! ·

                         ”   𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐀 … …   𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐎,   𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐍𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐑.   i understand your desire to end the blood-eagle’s war,   but i assure you,   the detour will prove beneficial.   provided,   of course,   that you agree to it.    “

                                   @hlycrwn·         𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 .

. . . . . . .

                ❛     you needn’t promise any sort of benefit  ,  v .   while i am admittedly disinclined to stray too far from our present goal  ,  that does not mean i am unconcerned with the needs of those closest to me .     ❜               a smile  ,  reassuring   /   promising .   perhaps just mere months ago he would have scoffed at the notion of doing anything at all beyond storming enbarr’s gates  ,  all claws and fangs and   hunger   clinging to him as a second skin   ;   now  ,  the softness has settled back in .   perhaps not as it once was  ,  frayed and charred around the edges but there nonetheless .               ❛     i would like to know  ,  however  ,  the reason for our excursion .   forgive me but i do not fully believe you when you say it is simply a minor errand to be run   ;   that you would request assistance with any task suggests it is of at least some degree of importance .     ❜

[hlycrwn]

good morning 💕💞💖

[thunderlost]

haven’t you heard ?  rich boys don’t have hearts .   you stare at the box within your trembling fingers  ,  heartbeat thudding against the polished wood and   /   duh .  you think that’s any kind of news ?   /    dirt piles higher  , and then higher  ;  flooding this self - made grave    (  you think you catch your mother smiling in the reflection of your shovel  )   |   a low activity rp blog for  manjoume jun  ,  as beloved by  nyx   |   personal blogs do not interact

[halfknighted]

just lifts u like a sack of feathers it's up time

please.  //  @hlycrwn

      IT’S NOT OFTEN THAT HE FEELS A GREAT DEAL SMALLER than his actual size, which is admittedly not very tall. despite his significant growth since his years as a student he still stands a great deal smaller than his peers, including the prince who had deemed it best to throw him over his shoulder as if he were merely a light bag supplies. well, so much for exiting the battlefield with dignity. 

      NEEDLESS TO SAY ASHE IS EMBARRASSED. he’d been hoping that the injury he’d taken a few minutes ago would be unnoticed by his friends despite it being pretty evident from the get go. truthfully that was a bit foolish on his part & he supposes he’s paying the price for such naivety as he hangs over the older man’s shoulder.

      ❛    YOUR HI —  DIMITRI. IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY ?    ❜  his mortification is evident in his words, brows knitting together as he sighs. had it been almost anyone else he would’ve protested much more insistently or tried to free himself from dimitri’s grasp. but alas ashe knows that arguing is pointless especially considering dimitri’s superhuman strength. he’s still going to protest a little however.  ❛    it’s not a bad wound, i promise ! let me keep fighting !    ❜  dimitri doesn’t respond & instead keeps moving towards the group of healers in the distance. well … at least he tried.

[blossomfully]

In my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been?’ I say, ‘I’ve been lost but I’m here now. You’re the only person who has ever been able to find me.’

Sue Zhao (via blossomfully)

[hlycrwn]

✦  ▌█   ❛  (   003 . * ◞  DEDUE  ⁝  ! 

                                   the world may be at peace  /  but they are not  :  this passage of time between the emperor’s death  &  the crowning of a fodlan king a mere step and a half from where they left the world as it was  ,  a smoldering pile of ashes   /   like a childhood home  ,  gutted.    like a family burned in their beds.   like a thousand folded stars to wish upon lit until they were black  &  gray  &  catching in the wind.

the world may be at peace   /   but he is not.    dedue doubts there will be a time where he ever shall be.

                                  ❛   your highness  ,   ❜    the question catches him by surprise  ,  the hesitance palpable in the way dedue’s tongue feels heavy in his mouth  /   there’s a yearning in him to place his hands over dimitri’s  ,  the way he had when they were younger   ——–   comparing the breadth of his palms to the other’s  ,  finding familiarity in handle callouses  ,  in old nicks  &  scars.   the years have changed them both dramatically since then  ;  dedue does not think his hand would engulf dimitri’s as it once had.    ❛    i  .  .  .   that would not be appropriate  ,  i think.   you  &  i are no longer children  ,  after all.    ❜

               HE’S RIGHT  ,  OF COURSE  ,  BECAUSE IT’S RARE THAT HE ISN’T  ;    it would be   wildly   inappropriate for them to lay together regardless of reason given the current state of things and it isn’t as though he were not   aware of this   prior to posing his query but  ...  selfishly  ,  he’d hoped   it would not matter   in this moment  ,  that they could pretend for a night that they are mere children     ━━━━━     when it was very much   still   inappropriate but at least they could hide behind the veil of two young boys  ,  struggling not to drown completely in their trauma .  now  ...  he bites at his lip  ,  gaze averting elsewhere  ,  anywhere   but at dedue in some vainly desperate attempt to prevent shame  &  embarrassment from manifesting both within stomach and upon visage .

❛     ━━   of course .  i  ...  i apologize for having asked .     ❜                how cruel  ,  how awful  ,  to ask   favors   of a man so devoted  ,  so loyal   /   to believe your crown does not carry weight no matter how childish the desire that falls from your lips .               ❛     in that case  ,  i believe you should still recall the way to your room .  this castle has changed little since we were children  ,  after all .     ❜