A bricoleur

Working words into wor(l)d problems Trying to find myself and my love for academia again

[rainydaydecaf]

…genuinely scares me how many people in my life have shown me some AI bullshit all excited and saying “I don’t even have to think, it just does it for me!!”

Let that sink in.

I don’t even have to think.

[ohevoyev]

the messenger: the story of joan of arc (1999) / anne llewellyn barstow, ‘joan of arc and female mysticism’ / saint joan, george bernard shaw / the passion of joan of arc (1928) / anne sexton, consorting with angels / angela barrett, joan of arc, (1998) / excerpt from the trial of joan of arc / saint joan (2018 production), starring condola rashad

[hvnnigrvhm]

[aestheticbiopolar]

-Benedict Smith, I wish I wrote the way I thought

[metamorphesque]

When Kafka said All language is but a poor translation and when Murakami said It is not that the meaning cannot be explained. But there are certain meanings that are lost forever the moment they are explained in words.

[aradeia]

I was thinking about this quote I found digging through my likes from Euripides’s Helen. The quote is as follows: Ἑλένη δ᾽ ἐκλήθην. ἃ δὲ πεπόνθαμεν κακὰ λέγοιμ᾽ ἄν, and in English: “I am called Helen. Let me tell you of the evils I have suffered.” 

It’s interesting that she uses that passive form of the verb, ἐκλήθην, or “I am called.” She is called “Helen,” stating that “Helen” is the name others use to address her, with all its negative connotations. “I am called Helen,” or perhaps alternatively “I am called whore” or “I am called witch” or “I am called destruction of many men.” Her use of the passive voice makes me think that Helen understands what it means to be Helen and what people perceive Helen to be. Her own perception of herself doesn’t come into play here, and thus the use of the passive also makes me wonder what name Helen uses to call herself. I hope she uses other names than the κύων (dog) she uses in the Iliad.

The quote also reminded me of Seneca’s Medea, in which he has the titular character declare “Medea nunc sum,” or “Now I am become Medea,” once she has decided to carry out the revenge for which she is famous. Here again Medea understands what it means to be Medea, what people perceive Medea to be, and only at that point in the play does she truly attain the status of Medea. It’s as though Medea knew all along what she would have to do to become the Medea expected of her, and that she had to take certain steps to fill up the role. 

The line has such a spookiness to it. Like the audience, the character knows the story, or at least hints of it. Indeed, as Helen tells Hektor in Book VI of Iliad: “εἵνεκ᾽ ἐμεῖο κυνὸς καὶ Ἀλεξάνδρου ἕνεκ᾽ ἄτης/οἷσιν ἐπὶ Ζεὺς θῆκε κακὸν μόρον, ὡς καὶ ὀπίσσω/ἀνθρώποισι πελώμεθ᾽ ἀοίδιμοι ἐσσομένοισι,” and in English: “Because of me being a dog and because of the infatuation of Alexandros (Paris), on us Zeus has placed the bad fate that we will be sung of by men yet to be.” Imagine hearing those words as your bard sings to you the story of Troy. Helen is not only correct, but speaking to you about you. She knows that you are listening. She knows what you expect to hear. 

[monallisassmile-deactivated2021]

The Last Day of Pompeii (Details) 1830-33 Karl Bryullov

[inkskinned]

one time he and i were sitting in bed and i said “where do you feel stuff?” and he said “what do you mean” and i said, “here is anxiety” and pointed to my bottom left rib where the spiders start. he pointed to his throat. “it’s here for me.” 

i keep anger in my breastbone, he holds it in his hands. i feel sadness on my shoulders, he feels it in his lungs. 

we play this game until we come to love, and i realize that i am terrified (jugular vein) of what might come. what if it is not the same. what if he feels it somewhere else, what if it is just a flash fire, not the slow burn, what if it is congealing in one place instead of radiating, i try to change topics, flight response (sternum)

he takes my hands in his and puts them over his ribs and says, “everywhere, everywhere, like a sun is trying to escape me, like i am being consumed and you are filling up where used to be empty.” i say, “don’t be ridiculous humans are 99% empty space,” i nervous laugh (spiders down spine), he holds his gaze with me. 

“everywhere,” he repeats.

[sleepdeprived-dumbass]

Do you ever just have a breakdown over the fact that there are too many books to read, too many movies to see, too many poems to memorize, too many plays to watch, too many artworks to stare at and that you will never be able to consume all of it or is that just me

[hocruxing]

The only appropriate answer for “how are you feeling?” ᵃᶜᵃᵈᵉᵐᶦᶜˢ ᵉᵈᶦᵗᶦᵒⁿ

Text in image quoted from:

Trivedi, Harish. “India and Post-Colonial Discourse.” Critical Theory: Western And Indian: Essays Presented to Professor V. Y Kantak, edited by Kar, P. C. (Prafulla C.), Delhi: Pencraft International, 1997, pp. 37.

[frog-sovereign-deactivated20211]

Free resources:

https://about.jstor.org/oa-and-free/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/arts

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds

https://www.onlinelibrary.wiley.com

https://core.ac.uk

https://www.econbiz.de

http://revealdigital.org/independent-voices/

Thank me by adding any resources you find to the list. Academic journals were created to distribute knowledge not for capitalist exploitation and most of the time you can just email the author of an essay to ask for a copy if you are are writing a dissertation.

[seifenblasenwolke]

I have to accept, that I have only limited power over the world. I can have a self-effective mindset but I do have to set borders, as well.

[hocruxing]

This, this, THIS! No matter how strong your passions are, know that you can't conquer it all! Besides, passions aren't conquests. We're all farmers cultivating our chosen crops ten ways to Sunday. Harvests can come and go, but the act of farming is what will stay. Love the act. Don't overkill it.

This applies particularly to all us aspiring academics.

[b1tch4ss]

I think it's nice to remember that even the most prestigious academic papers have sections that were most likely written at someone's home desk in their pyjamas.

[emustelidae]

It is always a very frustrating moment when you realise that being multilingual actually carries a lot of baggage with it.

I just wrote one (1) sentence in three different languages and now I am not sure any of them are grammatically correct.

[noosphe-re]

“A (s)word in the words.”

— Ahmed Salman

[prokopetz]

“Avast” means “stop what you’re doing”.

“Avaunt” means “go away”.

There are contexts in which these words are interchangeable, but exorcisms aren’t one of them unless you meant to tell the demon to stick around!

[exhaled-spirals]

“The history of men’s opposition to women’s emancipation is more interesting perhaps than the story of that emancipation itself.”

— Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own