me looking at the person i like: i am enamored even with the way your fingers move, with the way the light plays on your skin, with your freckles and your smile and your laughter, with your voice, with how you get around the things you love, with your humor,
me aloud: what’s up asshole
okay so, hi !! 10 million later, and i finally have this bad boi up. for those of you who don’t know my name is maaria ( or mars. ) i am 23, i live in nyc, i can touch my tongue to my nose & i respect any bich that can bring me a good meme. holden ( the magnet ) is literally the worst person i know and i’m so sorry abt him lmao. learn more fax him below.
history.
holden is the product of an extramarital affair, his father was a new york city corporate lawyer ( largely based on jordan belfort aka leo dicaprio in wolf of wall street so pls be sympathetic towards his daddy issues lmao ) & his mother’s father owned one of the corporations he was retained for. they met at a cinco de mayo party, drunk off of margaritas. his entire existence was destined to be a travesty.
prior to him, his father had a daughter from first marriage, gianna ( 28 yrs old ) who vehemently pretends that holden is not related to him. he has two younger twin sisters margot and bridgette. ( both 13, both terrible. )
his parents clash heads a lot as holden’s father is quite frankly always toeing the line when it comes to matters of legality regarding his finances, stock trades, and client list so the fbi has fluttered in and out of their lives for years, trying to gather evidence against him.
regardless of the bullshit, holden’s always lived quite cushy living with a bougie gated community of mansions, summering in exotic places, and receiving a range rover the second he was able to drive, however given holden’s father’s unsavory background the rest of ashmont society has a low opinion of holden’s family.
his mother fusses over him to no end, still treats him like he’s six, calls him twice a day even tho he lives in the same damn town as these people, and still calls her mommy lmao. he literally has a tattoo in her honor. yah boy would throw hands for his mom.
he’s also fairly close to his younger sisters, his football jersey is their birthday year. ( 06 )
personality.
okay so summarize holden holistically, i will be providing two videos: this one + this one. now you know who holden is a person lmao.
ya boy turns up to every single party ever, invited or not. will 100% get drunk and dance in your kitchen to brittney spears. *britney vc* he’s not that innocent.
on the football team, and is dfjklfd very competitive. it’s sad boi hrs for holden any time the boys lose a game. catch him listening to celine dion and dramatically looking out a window for days after.
met bill nye once and cried abt on instagram live.
if he hasn’t quoted a vine all day, please know that like avril lavigne, the real holden has died and been replaced with a clone.
v v v friendly, and tries to make everyone and anyone he meets feel comfortable and appreciated no matter who they are, what crowd they’re from as long as they are respectful. gets super defensive when people are being bullying someone, and always calls them out.
the kinda dude who sits with the lonely kid if they let him fsdjlsfj.
will kick your ass, but will also cry if you put him on a roller coaster.
HE’S A PRE-MED STUDENT LMAO, I KNOW I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER... but at his core, hold is v much someone who lives to help other people. he’s incredibly stupid at a surface level bc he has big fuck boi energy, however he’s immensely gifted in mathematics and science and does try hard to keep his grades up between getting crunk at your next event.
was named after holden caulfield and has never read catcher as a lifelong protest to his name being an accidental dick joke.
volunteers at the hospital every other weekend, tho he wants to specialize in pediatrics, he loves spending time with the seniors. learns magic tricks to dazzle them
a huge fucking flirt. god this man is engaged to be marry ( holla cassidy turner ) but fdjslkfs... will flirt without even realizing he’s flirting.
also he was big slut back in the day so there’s big chance he might have slept with your muse ): this is what happens when your name is a dick joke. the dick life chooses you, you don’t choose it.
more aggressive than he should be... gets wound up and defensive over his friends, his girl, what he believes to be morally correct. is known to immediately start brawls without hesitation over the listed matters.
is fueled by rice krispy treats, skittles, burgers, cheese sticks, pizza, gatorade and probably like nothing else lmao.
has a v douchey 2019 range rover, and drives like a 84 yr old grandfather in it bc he’s afraid of fender benders. it’s name is lightning mcqueen, after the fucking movie cars even tho they look NOTHING alike.
holistically a nice guy, kind of a slut, prob needs an outlet for his anger.
based off of.
jared ( booksmart ), fred jones, aladdin, james potter, richie tozier, sodapop curtis, michael kelso, joey tribbiani, gob ( arrested development )
pinterest .
( X )
i’ll have a connection’s page and a pretty theme up later tonight fdljdfs.
thalia hadn’t been able to sleep despite having been exhausted from the plane ride over to paris. once she’d gotten settled in she’d resolved to get right into bed and go to sleep, but once under the covers her mind had lit up like a christmas tree, begging for her attention. she was hungry, first of all, and wanted snacks for all of her exploring the next day, and wanted alcohol so she could enjoy herself every time she got back to the hotel room she was sharing with alana, sofie, and rachel. so she’d put on some warm clothes and had set out on a quest to find a corner store so that she could stock up. she’d wound up with very little - mostly because she couldn’t read the names of most of the products - and with what she didn’t really need (a keychain, of which she had many but she needed one from paris), but resolved to head back anyway and try when an actual grocer was open. she’d just come out of the corner store when she heard holden’s voice calling out to her. she stopped to wait for him, expression lighting up. “funny, i was just thinking about you,” was how she greeted him, feeling shorter than usual in comparison to him while wearing plain vans. now she was glad that she hadn’t been able to sleep; it was hard to pretend she didn’t want to spend absolutely every minute with him since they’d hopped off the plane, and even though their rooms were technically right across from each other thalia hadn’t wanted to intrude or feel overbearing. “here.” she dug through her bag to grab the keychain, giving him half. she’d planned on giving it to him later, but the city was making her feel bold and her feelings for holden were clouding what she’d call her usual judgment. their date was still fresh in her mind, creating butterflies in her stomach. she was a little bit scared, honestly. one person couldn’t be so perfect for her, and she was doing her best to rein her typical skepticism in; there was no point in actively looking for flaws. it would just drive her crazy. besides, so far he’d proven to be nothing but sweet, holding her hand and not even kissing her on the first date. “you’re never intruding. lucky for you i was just heading back. ‘s your phone dead?” she glanced down at her watch to make sure she was heading in the right direction.
holden couldn’t believe his luck, stranded out in the middle of this city was one of the most beautiful faces he knew, smiling back at him. it seems the fates were being kinder to him than he thought. unable to suppress his grin, he beamed down at her, absorbing her words as they rung out in his head, “were you thinking of me? i guess then the stars were aligned for me to be lost until you found me, huh?” he joked lightly, gently knocking his elbow against her side. his head was clouded with a million thoughts, heart beating wildly in his chest, feeling as though he were a lovesick middle-schooler in her presence. ordinarily, holden was someone constructed of bold actions and cheeky remarks, but there was something about thalia that dissipated his sense of courage and persuaded something far softer within him. their first date was spent holed up in his car, nursing hot chocolates between shy smiles. their fingers were laced atop arm rest that segregated them, this innocent touch alone feeding their deep blushes. before he could manage to get anything more out, thalia was holding her hand out to dangle a keychain, one part of a whole. the image of it all made the familiar feeling of butterflies surge within him at the implication, “that’s fuckin’ adorable, thal,” he commented with a soft smile, taking the small token from her hands, and inspecting it closely. “i hope you know this is going on my car keys as soon as we get home, even if the boys give me hell for it,” holden added, reaching down to take the tiny hand that had just offered him a gift, and pull it up to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles. “thank you,” the brunet sighed out against her skin, allowing their joined hands to drop down once more, grateful that the darkness of night could conceal the flush of his cheeks. “heading back?” the question was laced with a hint of disappointment, but he tried his best not to let it leak onto his face. he couldn’t expect thalia to want to wander the streets of paris this late, with the air so gelid but he was hopeful. “was kinda hoping you’d... dunno, want to do something? i mean, it’s too late for a proper date, but we could go exploring. maybe get coffee and walk along the pont neuf and hold hands,” holden sputtered out nervously, the hand that was not wrapped around hers, coming up to anxiously run through his mess of wavy hair.
eleanor didn’t want to go on this trip, truth be told ; but she didn’t have another choice but to go. she grumbled to herself while getting off the plane. she could be in her cozy & familiar dorm, wrapped in a blanket sipping on rootbeer & gaming her life away. but instead here she was. in paris. alone. “ i could be back at st e.’s playing video games, ” eleanor said more-so to herself than to the other. her mood had gotten so low that there were tears in her eyes causing them to glisten. “ anyway … what should we do now that we’re here? might as well do something. ”
holden was torn between being absolutely thrilled from the temporary break from ashmont, and devastated they were thrown into new terrain during this most tumultuous point in time. everyone else seemed more than thrilled, to pack themselves away and leave their worries behind, but eleanor wore the same sense of wariness that holden carried. he offered the brunette a tentative smile, aware of the tears that shone in her eyes, and wishing her could coax them away. “m’sure there’s a cool retro arcade somewhere ‘round here, el...” he told her gently, hands stuffing themselves into his pockets. “c’mon, it can’t be too bad. hate paris this much? you seem more of a fun, tokyo kinda gal.”
the first night in paris and injected holden with a quiet curiosity, one that led him out his hotel door and to the streets of this historic city, allowing his feet to take him in a direction that promised the most adventure. he dipped into cafes and knocked back expressos, filtered through webs of tourists as he glanced at the iconic steel tower that was situated in the heart of paris, and gorged himself on pastel desserts till he could hold down no more. hours had past, and his trail had been jagged and unsystematic. despite visiting several times before, holden found himself in the dark, and now lost in the foreign city, further disoriented by the signs scribbled out in a language he failed to speak and the phone that lay dead in his pocket. a frown formed on his face at his poor luck, eyes dancing around for a familiar sight that might tether him back to the safety of the hotel. and then he saw them, across the street and slinking along. a face from school, sparking a sense of relief within holden. “hey, wait up!” he called out, jogging across the cobblestone avenue to catch up with the other. “shit, sorry for intruding on your stroll, but i just am super lost. d’you know the way back to the hotel from here? or d’you wanna get even more lost with me? either one works for me, ‘cause i’m fuckin’ bored.”
libellule (dragonfly): what’s your favorite super power?
i would give anything to be like the flash, and be fast as hell. i could stunt on everyone on the track team and run down to the local 7/11 for a midnight snack in like, seconds. so much raw power, just waiting to be accessed.
sirène (mermaid): any tattoos? If not, do you want any?
i do! i have one for my mom, because i love my girl victoria woods more than anything, i’d be a scrub without her constant guidance and light. and i have one on my forearm under the crook of my elbow for luck.
citronnade (lemonade): what’s your favorite beverage?
ya boy goes pretty hard for a pina coloda, i can’t lie…
god, of course i fuckin’ do. i’ve watched like ( 1 ) nicholas sparks movie and it was pretty... soft, so i guess that means love is out there, lmao. i mean, i have had plenty of love in my life. my parents have been so loving with me, i’m so fortunate for that. blue is without a doubt the love of my life, and sorry folks, but that is platonic. ( we’re both sad about it because we’d be the it couple around here, and you know it. ) and obviously, i’ve been romantically in love too. every kind of love is magical, and to be cherished. of course i believe in it, it’s the only fuckin’ thing worth believing in.
nuage (cloud): what is your dream job now?
well, i mean. i’m getting a degree in pre-med so i can get a degree in medicine. all signs point to me wanting to be a doctor or something, huh?
Thalia couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her, wiggling her hand playfully. “Eh, close enough. It’s not even English, anyways. College parties are a completely different atmosphere.” That in and of itself said a lot about Holden, though. She tucked the information away for later, eyes trained on his smile. “We’ll have to continue in part two, where I can see you in your natural habitat,” she joked, shifting nervously on her feet. She chewed at her lip, nodding her head at his response; he was definitely right because nothing was ever normal around here anymore. “Considering the circumstances? Okay isn’t too bad…” She agreed easily. “Uh-…” She definitely hadn’t been doing okay, but seeing him had managed to brighten her mood a little. Knowing he’d been worried about her sent butterflies careening in her stomach, and she pushed her hair back behind her ear as she tried to conjure some kind of response in her head that wasn’t too telling of how flustered he’d made her. “I’m…” Her eyebrows pulled together in thought. “I’m hanging in there. Trying to be thankful I’m alive to feel anything, good or bad.” That much was true. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “You? Annoy me? Never.” She could feel her face begin to heat up. “But anyway, it’s okay. We all kind of panicked and scrambled without thinking much.” They didn’t know each other that well, so she wouldn’t have expected him to text her, but the fact that he’d thought about it was sweet and made her a little weak in the knees. “I guess you’ll just have to text me later to make up for it,” she managed, voice coming out breathless in the wake of everything she was feeling.
A grin lit across Holden’s face at the giggle that was tugged out of Thalia, and her effortlessness in conversation. They hadn’t known each other long, nor gotten off on the right foot, but there was something about the tiny girl that had a strong effect on him. A childish crush, making him feel the same way he had when he was a boy, jittery, palms glistening with sweat, nervous laughter following his words. All of his boyish charm seemed to vanish in her presence, replaced with an anxious need for her to like him... “I’d really like that, actually. Next time you’re at a party, just uh, shoot me a text and we can team up together in beer pong, and hang out with the homeowner’s dog or somethin’,” he joked with, biting his at his lip a little, eyes sweeping over her face to gauge a reaction. It was possible Thalia had just offered this up in politeness, but he was hoping that there was truth to her words... When she began talking about herself, the night that had changed them all in so many ways, his face blanched, still remembering pulling his friends into a car and getting the hell out as soon as he could. Putting as much distance between himself and that nightmare, as if it would make it any easier to deal with... It hadn’t. Even still, he felt foolish for not reaching out to the few people he’d left behind, Thalia being one of them. “I’m glad you’re doing better... That gossip bitch can be pretty fucking evil, and harsh. But-- I know you’re a good person,” he stated softly, shooting her a small, earnest smile. “Is that an invitation, Ricci? Because I’ll take you up on it, and you’re going to get so fucking bored of my lame texts by the time the week is up,” Holden told her in honesty, a laugh finally jumping out of him as he stuffed his hands in his pockets sheepishly. “But I can’t be stopped now that I’ve been given the green light, so don’t even try to convince me otherwise,” he joked, shaking his head and feigning seriousness, despite the grin that threatened to break through.
june was doing her best to ignore the way hearing his familiar nickname for her, hearing the way he sounded saying it, instantaneously quelled a small portion of the unease that had nestled into her spirit. every burden that had been pulling her down, that made her feel like a sinking ship, was slightly easier to carry. there were just some people in life who could make themselves your home, and try as she might, juniper couldn’t manage to take such a privilege away from holden. he had been everything to her, once, and although their paths wouldn’t cross in such a way again, she could still seek a level of comfort in him that was unparalleled to anyone else in her life. she wondered if that bothered him. she hoped it didn’t. “no sleep, no viable options for food, no company. a plethora of reasons, really. this is all just convenience for me.” june waved a piece of pizza through the air between them, her clear smile ruining the joke as she said it. as quickly as her mood had started to rise, it had once again fallen, with the memory fighting to replay in her head as she busied herself with studying his blanket, expression concentrated as she willed her forming tears not to fall. “i’ll text the group chat. or i’ll go back and let you sleep in peace.” she put her best effort into grinning again, but all she could manage was a thin line. her hand raised the pizza to her mouth as she visibly winced at the cold food hitting her teeth. “ow.” it was quiet and full of betrayal, as though she hadn’t been the one who decided against heating it up. she aimed for a laugh at his next words, but all that came was a disappointing sigh. an almost scoff. “i’m not the one with a bottomless wallet. if anything, this should just be the start of the pizzas you give me. it can be an act of charity. philanthropy will look good to all the other doctors. you fed the poor. now, imagine that the other way around: you made the poor feed you? not a cute look for someone saving lives.” this all being a long-winded way of saying she wouldn’t be returning the favor anytime soon, of course. “so, honestly, this?” she shook the box lightly at him, the lightest traces of amusement seeping back into her eyes, “is for the both of us.”
it felt so strange, almost as if holden had been sitting in the midst of a fever dream, perched besides an ex-lover who had sworn that she’d hated him for months, and now was casually eating a pizza as if nothing had happened. in the past weeks, holden and june had tentatively built at a friendship, one that was organic and true. it was the first time in forever that holden felt... well, happy, since they’d broke apart. june had been a funnel for his joy, and all of his love. severing the cord had been immensely difficult, nursing wounds far beyond their break-up date. but now, nearing the anniversary of this dreaded date, holden felt strangely okay. holden was content with the companionship with a girl he’d always love, the girl he thought he’d marry... finally ready to allow her to be just junebug, his friend, allowing her to seek out better options. he let his head thwack back against the headboard, folding his slice of pizza and ripping into it as he observed her. the poor thing had underwent a great deal over the month, still mourning the death of a friend. of someone she might have even loved, though holden was careful not to dwell on this. it seemed to sting too hard. “well, i’m glad you decided to come here,” he told her, authenticity in his voice as he smiled broadly at her. “i want you to know that, no matter what i’m always gonna be around for you to... like fuckin’ steal pizza from and just talk to at three in the morning. so just come on over whenever, and give me a good shove. always happy to see ya,” he attached in earnest, brown eyes drifting to his duvet as if maintaining a gaze might be a touch too intimate. but the seriousness dissipated quickly as the blonde snapped her teeth against the cold pizza, tough and leathery to eat with no warmth to it. a laugh was coaxed out of him at the image of her wrinkled nose, looking disappointing down at the pizza that was surely supposed to be a delicious meal. holden, someone who was not very choosey in his tastes continued to devour his slice, even moving onto the next one as june essentially told him that she would not be buying him any pizzas anytime soon, in fact, he should be buying her all the pizzas available. “oh, so you can’t get me pizza but you can name three hissing cockroaches after me at the bronx zoo? i see how it is,” he retorted with an eye-roll, a ghost of a laugh on his lips. “and no more pizza for you! i’m already getting you the fanciest ravioli known to man, i’ll have you know!” holden pointed out, cheeky grin crossing his face as he gave june’s shoulder a light shove savoring the lighthearted playfulness of the moment.
thalia: hmm. that means i've done a good job at hiding!
thalia: hence cheerleaders. for you specifically?
thalia: i'd love to go out for some hot chocolate 😊
thalia: but shouldn't you like, go do celebratory things w/ your team after the game?
holden: have you? why would you hide such a pretty face?? ):
holden: ahh, it's different when it's someone you know in the stands being supportive, y'know?
holden: i see those fuckers like everyday lmao. they'll live. besides, we gotta warm up somehow, right? 😊 least i can do to repay you for freezin for the team!
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