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me: iâm mean

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@ofsofies
person: thatâs mean
me: iâm mean
PARIS (a photo series) by cade larkin part 2.
PARIS (a photo series) by cade larkin.
stshepardsâ:
joseph had all he could pack in his duffel bag and his backpack. he didnât own many clothes to begin with, especially anything he thought were nice enough to bring to a place so nice as the city of paris. so in his nicest clothes, he was already in awe of the city around them, even upon only seeing the hotel. it was the nicest building he had ever seen. he loosened the tie around his neck, as his eyes danced around the grand lobby. he truly stuck out like a sore thumb, he just felt it. he heard a familiar voice, which brought him out of his self doubt. he walked up to the blonde he had come to care for, taking one of the two large bags she had been pulling behind her. âmight do a head count or two, but i dunno,â he looked down at her with a grin, âbut i gotta admit, i think this is your type of place.â he shook his head, looking around the room still. âlet me help you get your bags to your room,â he held out his other free hand to take her other suitcase.
a sweet smile danced across sofieâs face at the sight of joseph all dolled up for their long flight from america to france. the blond had kept a close eye on him during the whole plane ride, acutely aware of how SCARED the poor boy was. but now that his feet were planted on firm ground, she noticed the relaxed, loosened tie that hung from his neck. and joseph looked just as handsome as ever. âwell, i truly hope that youâre wrong. maybe if you tell them that everyone is there, theyâll believe you and take off without me,â sofie teased, knowing full well that the idea was improbable. her light eyes glanced around at their surroundings, a grin on her full lips. âyou know, i really agree with you, joseph. i donât think thereâs anywhere else in the world that could be MORE my type of place,â the blond giggled, a dreamy look having been on her face from the moment she stepped off the plane. as joseph reached out to take her other suitcase, sofieâs brows furrowed playfully. âi can do it. donât worry about it.â a smirk tugged at the corner of her lips as she nudged the curly-haired boy. âi can come get a look at your room later, though,â she winked, teasingly.
junebriggsâ:
juniper hadnât been so excited for something in⊠maybe her entire life. growing up under the conditions she had, sheâd never been one for big dreams or unattainable aspirations. even attending st. etienne wouldâve been a pipe dream, had she not been forced to ashmont in her high school career. but paris? god, everyone wanted to go to paris. she was no exception ( especially considering her lifelong passion was art ), so receiving the beautiful letter sheâd gotten alongside the rest of her classmates was more than a dream come trueâ it was an entire miracle. in a time in her life that had been relentless in its misery, it could even, perhaps, be considered a sign that things could still look up. that there could be light in any amount of dark. this light, for instance, was that of the eiffel tower. june was doing her best to stay in her optimistic state, to keep her mind racing about everything she wanted to do, to ignore all of her baggage that wasnât the duffel bag hanging at her waist and the beaten down backpack sheâd slung over the opposite shoulder. she was doing a pretty damn good job, too, until the voice that rang out over the crowd. her blood ran hot, hand that had been resting comfortably on her bag strap now locked around it in a vice grip. green eyes searched the surrounding area until she spotted her. sofie. âyeah, well, paris can fucking keep you. iâll tell the staff you got lost on champs-Ă©lysĂ©es.â
juneâs harsh words admittedly made a DENT in sofieâs excitement. paris was supposed to be a breath of fresh air, something to just slightly take a load off the burden that the entire school had been carrying recently. the gala and nadiaâs death felt like it had happened ages ago, just like everything at st. etienneâs. so, when juniperâs voice came rumbling through the crowd around them, everything that had happened in connecticut came rushing back to sofie. the blondâs lips set themselves into a firm scowl, dark brows furrowing as she directed her attention toward the other girl. âyouâd only be doing me a FAVOR, june,â she pointed out, with a cock of her brow. the blond crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing the other. âplus, itâs not like iâm exactly EXCITED to have to come back to fuckinâ connecticut and the shit show we have going on there,â sofie huffed, with a roll of her green hues.Â
sofie stopped in front of the grand hĂŽtel du palais royal, a broad grin on her face. her perfectly manicured hands were pulling two LARGE suitcases behind her, totally prepared with amazing outfits for the two weeks ahead. even her current outfit was one to be reckoned with: a pretty black beret on top of blond waves, a gaudy cheetah-print coat hanging all the way down to her calves, a black crop top paired with black leggings, black converse, and teeny tiny black sunglasses to tie it all together. âitâs official,â sofie started, reaching up to slide the sunglasses down the bridge of her nose. âthis is the life i was meant to live. iâve found my calling,â the blond announced, dramatically to nobody in particular. she caught sight of someone in her peripheral vision, turning her head to talk to them. âdo you think theyâll notice if i just donât come home? surely i can find a BEAUTIFUL french person to move in with in the next two weeks.â
écarlate, coquillage, brûler
ââ Ă©carlate (scarlet): is it easy to make you blush?
âiâm going to have to say no. iâve seen it all. hardly anything makes me blush anymore.â
ââ coquillage (seashell): whatâs your favorite sound?
âboys crying.â
brûler (to burn): what are you most passionate about?
âfashion, writing, and family. i just love clothes and making shit look good. i kind of got that from my mom, i guess. but my dad really started my love for writing. oh! and i fuckinâ love cheering.â
péripatéticien, plaisir, pleuvoir, soleil
ââ pĂ©ripatĂ©ticien (wanderer): believe in ghosts?
âi think i do. i mean, iâve never had an experience with a ghost. but, way too many fuckinâ people have for it to not be true, yâknow?â
ââ plaisir (pleasure): your favorite dessert?
âugh, god. vegan cheesecake. any kind of cheesecake. a couple of honorable mentions, though? lemon cake and any type of sorbet.â
ââ pleuvoir (to rain): do you blow dry your hair or let it air dry?
âit depends on the day and what iâm getting ready for. just going to class with a bunch of boring people? air dry. going to a party or cheering? blow dry. it all depends.â
soleil (sun): all time favorite concert youâve been to?
âmy dad used to take me to tons of concerts when i was younger. but, rihanna was amazing on her loud tour. no kidding.â
aesthetic french asks
ange (angel): whatâs your opinion on religion? do you believe in anything?
bisou (kiss): whatâs your favorite place to be kissed?
brûler (to burn): what are you most passionate about?
cĂąlin (hug): who was the last person you hugged?
chaleur (heat): what are your favorite kinks?
chatoyer (to shimmer): what is sure to make you cry?
chaussettes (socks): what do you misplace the most?
citronnade (lemonade): whatâs your favorite beverage?
coquillage (seashell): whatâs your favorite sound?
croquis (sketch): are you artistic? whatâs your favorite medium?
doux (soft): where do you feel most safe?
écarlate (scarlet): is it easy to make you blush?
éclatant (dazzling): what was your first favorite song?
étoile (star): believe in astrology?
floraison (bloom): do you believe in love?
libellule (dragonfly): whatâs your favorite super power?
luciole (firefly): what was your dream job when you were little?
nuage (cloud): what is your dream job now?
orage (thunderstorm): are you scared of storms?
papillon (butterfly): any allergies?
parapluie (umbrella): favorite kind of weather?
péripatéticien (wanderer): believe in ghosts?
piscine (swimming pool): do you like swimming?
plaisir (pleasure): your favorite dessert?
pleuvoir (to rain): do you blow dry your hair or let it air dry?
sirĂšne (mermaid): any tattoos? If not, do you want any?
soleil (sun): all time favorite concert youâve been to?
tournesol (sunflower): favorite flower?
dax âïž sofie
dax: idk after being inside of someone for several months ya just kinda give a fuck if they're hurting
dax: don't be a dick sof
sofie: i mean yeah it sucks and i dont really know what the fuck im doing right now but
sofie: being a dick is what im best at dax
stshepardsâ:
within an instant, joseph could tell she was inebriated. âiâm sorry, i didnât mean it like that, i just want to, i just want to talk to you,â it twisted his insides, it made him feel even worse about everything. she had every right to be as upset as she was, and thatâs what tore him up more. her touch which just a few days ago set him on fire, made him burn in different ways now. as she shoved past him, he bit down hard on his lip, nearly drawing blood. slowly, without a word, he closed the door behind him. it was now that he finally took her in, guilt washing over him totally. she was still just as beautiful as always, but her rage was clear as day. as was her previous activities, getting her into the drunken state she was before him. âiâm sorry,â were the first words he was able to form, a crack ringing out in his last word. he swallowed hard, looking down at her feet, not feeling able to look her in her eyes. âmy,â he wet his lips quickly, never having spoken this to anyone before. he looked up at her, his heart begging to just be able to reach out and touch her, hold her hand, hold her, but he knew that wasnât what could happen right now. âmy dad wasnât a good person.â his eyes darted to the rosary sat atop his dresser, hand darting out to grab it. holding the cross now in his palm, rubbing it with his thumb, he finally spoke again, âhe used to always hit all of us, shout anything at us, and,â he swiped at his eyes quickly, âi had to protect my brother, he was thirteen when it happened.â his insides were in knots, his own throat quickly drying out. âand i know i shouldnât have done any of what i did, but i-â he cut himself off, bringing the religious totem to his lips, as a tear slid down his face. âiâm sorry.â he whispered, not quite sure if it was even for sofieâs sake. âi donât expect you to forgive me, but itâs different than what the blog made it sound like.â he attempted to make his voice sound even and strong, but even he was uncertain if he were able to do so.
the moment joseph began talking, sofie could hear the saddened crack in his words. unfortunately, she knew the way he was feeling as she had broken down in front of zephyr just a week or so ago. she knew that all she wanted then was a hug and someone to whisper that all was going to be okay. a part of her wanted to just that for joseph, hearing him describe the fucked up past that he had. it helped to have him finish the WHOLE picture. otherwise, sofie would be just like the rest of the school, judging someone based on only half truths. still, the small blond kept the scowl on her face, her arms that crossed over her chest acting as some weak barrier between her and the boy. even in her drunken state, she knew that if he made any effort to try and get closer to her, that she wouldnât even try to stop him. her heart ACHED as he held tight to his rosary, the girl wanting so badly to reach out for him. ââm sorry, joseph.â the words sounded weak, contrasting from her cold expression. âit sucks when thâgossip blog only shows part oâ the picture,â sofie admitted, unable to meet the otherâs eyes. instead, she focused on her boots. her small hands clasped together now instead, tired of being angrily tucked against her body. âwhen i got mâbrother tâdrive me to that party, i wasnât going to be the âtown slutâ or whatever that BITCH said,â the blond grumbled, still not even able to look at joseph. âi hadnât even done anything with anyone at that point. but, i think the gossip blog likes tâjust paint these nasty pictures of us, picking and choosing whatever details she wants to mention and manipulating them to be whatever she wants,â sofie shrugged, shaking her head. finally, her light eyes glanced up, meeting his tear-filled ones. and finally, her hard scowl, dissolved into a saddened pout at the sight of him.Â
thaliaellenâ:
âYeah, me tooâŠâ Thalia knew that everyoneâs secrets ranged in severity, and she wasnât entirely ready to learn about whatever skeletons were in her classmatesâ closets. She loved to learn peopleâs secrets, but she wanted to earn them and keep them - she didnât want them to be outed for everyone to see. Thalia looked down at the pajamas, confused by Sofieâs response to them. âTheyâre-âŠâ They werenât that fancy to Thalia, but she swallowed the words. âWalk home? At least let my dad or brothers drive you or something. Or someone from security? Itâs freezing outside.â On top of someone just having been murdered, but she was already rattled and didnât want to voice it out loud. âIâd drive you home myself but Addy picked me upâŠâ Her brother had come knocking on her door way too early as if he didnât know Thalia took 3 hours to get ready. âAnd you should borrow the pajamas. Wearing something cozy will help you sleep.â Sheâd conveniently forget to remind Sofie to return them later. The thought of the person running the gossip blog being friends with Daisey definitely made a lot of sense, but Thalia really thought there was something deeper to the whole thing. How come none of them knew who this person was if they were such good friends with Daisey? Were they just hiding their identity that well? âYouâre right, but I still find something weird about it. I canât put my finger on it, though.â Sheâd have to give it more thought and get back to it later.Â
sofie felt grateful that thalia wasnât asking her anything about the secret that had been posted. the small blond had avoided talking about her brother ever since she stepped foot at st. etienne. she carried something even STRONGER than guilt regarding the incident, because she had not only been the cause of his outing that night, but also lied to her parents about the whole thing. sofie knew that it was wrong, but at the time, it felt like there was nothing else to do. after weeks, months, and years passed, there was just never a right time to tell anybody. but the lasting effects of willâs accident haunted the girl. thaliaâs words snapped sofie from her trance-like state, having found herself deep in thought. âoh, no, thalia. you donât have to have them do that. i walk everywhere,â the blond admitted, giving a LIFELESS, short laugh. her light green gaze cast downward toward the nice pajamas, chewing on her lower lip. âwell, i... thank you. these are nicer than anything iâve ever slept in. seriously,â sofie muttered, moving the perfectly folded set to her lap. she thought for a moment about the words that left her friendâs lips. âno, i agree. makes you wonder if daisey had someone like this all along just in case something happened to her. like, some demented plan to continue tormenting all of us from the grave,â she mused, tone low and slow.Â
stshepardsâ:
joseph spent most of his day reading over and over again the targeted words from the gossip blog. it consumed his mind. he still went to his classes, tucked under his old cap, dodging looks from everyone. and still, his phone still had open the page, eyes scanning it again and again. it was a crushing weight. he didnât know what he needed to do. with a numbness, joseph was on autopilot. doing what he was supposed to do, run through his daily schedule, get done the things he always did. however his mind and heart was in none of it, both of which were back in alabama. back with his family. he decided he needed to do something, but not alert them to the drama on his end. so as soon as he was back in his dormitory, he pulled out a piece of paper and his favorite pencil, and he wrote a letter. hours went by, quickly scribbling words, filling up a page, just to be thrown out. he couldnât find the right words, his head was spinning too much. he felt an ache deep in his chest, a looming sword metaphorically over his head. all the words he attempted to get out only filled him with worry of what his family would think as they read it. he hadnât even noticed how much time had passed until he heard a bang on the door. he looked up at the clock on his desk, the middle of the night, it puzzled him. who would want to see him at this time? as he carefully made his way to the door, part of him feared it could be the cops, however, what he faced felt much worse. he winced at her words. âsofie,â he spoke softly, but her words stung. âplease, just come in,â he opened his door open for her, just as he had a few nights ago, only now the tension much different. âi, thereâs more to the story,â he couldnât bring his eyes to look at her, too filled with guilt.
as soon as joseph came into view, sofie was taken aback. he looked like a MESS. disheveled hair, bitten lips, tired expression. he looked nothing like the boy that she was tangled up under blankets with just days prior. the longer she stared at him, the more her heart wished to just cuddle up with him under those same blankets, feel the softness of his hair, all of it. but sofie did what she knew best. she clenched her jaw, crossed her arms over her chest, and stared back at him with an ICY, expectant glare. âyâcanât just âsofieâ me and get me tâjust come inside with you,â she chastised, one of her manicured fingers coming to poke him on the chest. the small blond had stepped closer to him, trying to be a little more intimidating. however, this small action did nothing for the barrier of bitchy defense that she was trying build around herself. sofie noticed the guilt in josephâs eyes as he fixed his gaze on the floor beneath them. she noticed the now familiar scent that emanated from him and his room. the look on his face caused a sharp pain to stab through her chest. with the same fixed scowl on her face, the small blond let out a dramatic huff. âfine. iâll come in for five minutes. thatâs it,â she muttered, flipping her long hair over her shoulder as she practically shoved past him in the doorway. âthese âextra detailsâ better be super good, shepard. âcause itâs gonna be hard tâ tryân redeem yourself for buryinâ a fuckinâ body,â sofie grumbled, her arms still crossed tightly over her chest.Â
zvphyrâ:
when it came to familial advice, zephyr surely wasnât the one to ask. his train wreck of a family had too been exposed by the gossip blog and while they already hated him in the first place, the situation sure as hell made other people hate him. these wounds had healed into a âgive no fucksâ attitude, especially towards his family, and he knew that sofie might not be in the same boat as him. in addition, it didnât help that zephyrâs view of the world was twisted. he knew his advice and comfort wouldnât be top notch, but he hoped that it was at the very least able to help his friend in the moment. âit fucking sucks, i know, iâve been there too. you know, not the same shit, but iâve been through this whole exposing shit too,â he started, trying to make eye contact with her while using the softest tone heâd ever used around sofie. âsometimes thereâs shit we canât help and things we do because we think we have to. it hurts to live with it, yeah, but youâre gonna get through this. i promise.â zephyr patted a spot on the floor next to him, signaling for her to sit down rest. âno, donât apologize. i came here to support you through whatever you need to do. you can cry all you need â i wonât judge. whatever youâve gotta do, iâve got you.â
sofie knew that it was NOT zephyrâs natural instinct to be soft and kind. she knew that and she understood. so, when his voice dropped into a sweet, comforting tone, she couldnât have appreciated it any more. âthanks, zeph. that... that means a lot. seriously,â she mumbled, a small smile forming on her lips. the blond dropped her heels at the end of her bed, dragging her feet over to where he sat on the floor. sofie settled herself beside him, sitting crisscross. the golden dress still adorned her body, the girl far too tired to even THINK about changing out of it at the moment. âiâve got you, too, yâknow?" sofie smirked slightly, nudging him. she reached over, grabbing her box of giovanniâs and placing it in her lap. âthatâs what friends are for, i guess,â the blond murmured, eyeing the spaghetti zephyr had brought for her. âwell, being there for each other and getting each other good ass spaghetti,â sofie sleepily grinned, already picking up one of the forks to dive in. her light green eyes glanced over at the boy beside her, brows furrowing. âhow long have you been here,â she questioned, mouth full of food.Â