Immersion Breakers in East Asian Settings: A Cautionary List and Guide
the list below will generally apply to all east asian or east asian-inspired settings. the more modern the setting, the less applicable many of these notes may be to it. plenty of established settings incorporate anachronistic and blatantly alien elements to great effect: what in-universe logic you choose to follow or to ignore is up to your own discretion.
this list is by no means exhaustive and, as someone chinese rather than korean or japanese, there are regional differences and nuances i will have missed. time, too, may make certain entries out-of-date.
i welcome additions to this list with the reminder that this list is intended to cover east asia as a setting, not as an individual experience or anecdote.
switching name orders so that family names are last and given names are first: our names are designed to be said family name first and many east asian names will sound wrong when switched.
leaving out age-based titles (e.g. qianbei/sunbae/sempai/"senior"; gē/hyung/oppa; jie/noona/unnie. the confucianist hierarchy of age and gender affects all socialization. without these default terms of deference, the tone of any relationship with a year or more age difference will feel "off".
(rather than the standard translation of these terms to "older brother" and "older sister", respectively, it is best to leave them untranslated as these terms are used more to mean "older male peer [respectful]" and "older female peer [respectful]")
simplifications of titles such as san a-yi (chinese: "third aunt") to just "auntie" is more forgivable but there are many cases where texts will never name characters as anything else. since there will always be multiple aunties hanging about, i recommend you just embrace "auntie three" as a perfectly normal form of address. it is the easiest and least confusing way to name such characters.
a complete absence of bowing: this is especially egregious in any setting alleging to be japanese.
in historical settings, handshaking as a common greeting: in most cases, it would be more appropriate to bow. please recall how long our sleeves tended to be.
(other, non-bowing physical greetings include: nods; salutes but not those salutes; clasping arms; raising one's glass; pouring tea; hugs; waves; the throwing of varyingly lethal objects; etc)
the complete absence of folk festivals: the spring festival ["chinese new year"] is the most joyous celebration of the year and qingming/hansik/"tomb-sweeping day" is the most solemn. there is almost always a festival going on somewhere, for some thing, in east asia and we east asians will take any excuse to throw one: music, drumming, paper decorations, cultural dress, specialised food dishes, fireworks, and parades happen for almost all of them.
the existence and celebration of christmas, even in settings where jesus has yet to or has never existed. we had and have our own winter solstice traditions to follow.
similarly, the existence and celebration of: valentine's day; white day (invented after the capitalist adoption of valentine's day); easter; usamerican independence day; [usamerican] memorial day; halloween; thanksgiving; or any other western holiday.
(of the western holidays that have been adopted by modern east asia, very few retain their original meanings of faith: these holidays are primarily capitalistic in function, as inspired by usamerican sales events and hollywood movie consumerism)
christianity, with all its scriptures and characters and hangups: it was not introduced as a religion to until very recently, per asian history reckonings, and, even today, christians are a religious minority.
(the majority of modern east asians are some kind of spiritually-inclined atheist and it is buddhism that dominates our cultural landscape)
swearing by "God" (singular & capitalized) when no one in the setting is monotheistic. "Buddha", "Saints", "Sage", and sometimes "gods" all exist as reasonable alternatives.
conversely, most east asian mythologies have a concept of a "hell"/underworld/dìyù/yomi (though, funnily enough, early christianity did not): this means it is weirder not to use "damn you" or "go to hell".
brides wearing white: this is a fairly modern tradition even to the west, one largely attributed to the british queen victoria (19th CE/Qing Dynasty). red is the more traditional bridal colour in asia.
wearing a "suit": the term is too strongly associated with western menswear and was not readily adopted in east asia 'til the 20th century.
big 16th birthday celebrations: 20 is the more traditional age of majority or, more historically, 15 for girls specifically.
(while most of east asia now sets legal adulthood at 18, many traditional ceremonies and social expectations are still withheld 'til a person is 20 &/or married)
a weirdly puritanical approach towards alcohol despite east asia having little to no history of prohibition. nowadays, heavy drinking is pretty much mandatory in asian office and university cultures because it's not socially acceptable to refuse a drink from a superior.
in modern settings, a weirdly relaxed approach to recreational drug use: all drugs are illegal, outside medical use, and recreational drugs are far more harshly criminalized than in the west (especially in mainland china).
casually proposing same-sex marriage: individuals, the very wealthy, and persons above mortal reproach can make whatever arrangements they desire but there is very little precedent for such unions gaining legal recognition (thus the ongoing practice of adopting one's lover so as to share a family registry).
(the only asian countries that have legalized same-sex marriage are taiwan, thailand, and nepal: everywhere else, the most a queer couple might get is "recognition of cohabitation". protections against discrimination differ from country to country)
(gender transitioning is somewhat more protected... but only after surgery: asian fantasy and certain historical contexts are much more accepting)
surrogacy: it is widely considered immoral in east asia due to its associations with child trafficking, femicide, western exploitation, infidelity, and "heartlessness". it is an attitude based in contemporary exploitation and confucian misogyny. its legality varies from country to country.
adoption of infants: the same rationales condemning surrogacy largely apply to adoption also. adoption has still existed, historically and now, but there is more social scrutiny and stigma for everyone involved.
the ability to openly adopt kids with one's same-sex partner: yeah, no, not unless you're in taiwan.
(your better options are: taking in an apprentice or live-in students; fostering younger relatives due to geographic convenience or after familial tragedy; fishing for fruit; founding a gang or sect...)
in historic or fantastical east asian settings, any expectation of a child "moving out" before marriage: families traditionally lived and worked together. only daughters were ever expected to leave home and that was only upon marrying "out" into their husband's family home.
to a lesser degree, any expectation of adult children moving out from their family home in modern settings for reasons other than education, employment, or marriage. without those justifications, the implication is that the family is in disharmony or has failed in some way.
in historical chinese settings, calling hanfu "hanfu": the term was only invented after the adoption of western dress became widespread, as it previously went without saying that fu ["clothes"] were han fu ["han chinese clothes"].
in modern settings, not wearing a face mask in public when sick: industrial smog, the SARS outbreaks of the 2000's, and social collectivism established masking as a civic duty.
outside of south korea, reluctance to see doctors or call ambulances due to fears of medical debt: most countries in the world subsidize healthcare by default. in mainlad china, payments are 50/50 by government and citizen. in japan, it's 70/30. taiwan's universal healthcare system has been ranked best in the world for seven years in a row now. this is not to say that east asian systems lack exploitation or corruption, just that medical debt is less of a threat (...unless you're a non-citizen).
the presence of: corn; potatoes; tomatoes; chocolate; or chili peppers in historical settings. these plants are indigenous to américa and their current forms only exist through many millennia of indigenous horticultural engineering.
(more local options for spice include: ginger, peppercorns, star anise, onions, and horseradish. indian spice mixes were not easily accessible 'til europeans started stealing exporting them)
drinking milk: the vast majority of humans are lactose intolerant and only 10% of east asians can drink milk after infancy (thus the popularity of much more digestible yoghurt drinks).
use of the latin names for months: both the traditional chinese lunisolar calendar and the newly adapted gregorian solar calender name their months as 一月[1st month] to 十二月[12th month]. the same logic is used in japanese and in korean. modern settings can disregard this note.
(if numbered months are unappealing, seasonal references such as "last month of sowing"/"harvest season"/"first snowfall"/"eve of the spring festival"/"when the sakura bloom"/etc - are a viable alternative)
bathing in a bath: japanese household baths, public bathhouses, and hot springs are communal spas. you're meant to scrub yourself clean before getting in and you are definitely not supposed to cloud the water with every individual's personal soaps! washtubs are, however, free game.
