TheSofaKingStoner

Social Justice Worrier here to exist on the internets with lolz & puppers.

[daily-bad-jokes]

occasionally the universe orders one of its many snipers to fire a warning shot at me. not to cause any (physical) harm, mind you. they’re just reminders that the universe hates me and could snuff out my puny little life anytime it wishes.

today that warning shot came in the form of my microwave burrito being completely empty. no filling. just tortilla.

[daily-bad-jokes]

how can you look at this and still believe the world is kind and just

[meckamecha]

It has filling. The filling is more tortilla

[its-going-down]

[iguanamouth]

You should draw a puma wearing puma shoes.

[pizzaotter]

I fucking lost it here

[bonjour700]

[icameas-roman]

tha fuck? This squirrel water bending!

[emeraldcharos-blog]

[tommyverscetti-deactivated20141]

*opens photobooth to take selfie*

“maybe some other time”

[teenagerposts]

that car we used to draw in kindergarten does exist

[just-shower-thoughts]

Insurance is a subscription based gambling game, where you bet against your own luck.

[armorabs]

[notyourmothersspellbook]

Happy Imbolc

Imbolc marks the halfway point between the winter solstice and the spring equinox. As an in-between holiday, Imbolc is often easily forgotten or passed over, particularly since it falls during such a cold part of the year when many of us lack motivation to celebrate. Nonetheless, Imbolc celebrates the slowly lengthening days and the unseen stirrings of the earth beneath the ice and frozen ground as it prepares to awaken for spring. Imbolc is the perfect time to clean, to celebrate the light, to keep warm with friends and family, and to make specific plans for how you will make progress this year. It may be too cold to do much, but planning and cleaning and preparing for warmer and more productive days is the perfect way to celebrate the inevitable return of spring.

[gorgeousgeology]

[edderkopper]

Yes

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Absolutely

[sulpher]

I feel so much better after seeing this picture so yes you must be

[rainbowbuttconfetti]

[ryukisgod]

Customer service bosses be like:

[mmarkle]

all y’all had to do was vote for hillary clinton

[yayitsjenni]

I’m reblogging this every single time it pops up.

[transgenderer]

maybe its maybelline. maybe its goblin magic. those are the only two options

[businesshag-deactivated20160606]

[followthebluebell]

adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision.  On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me.  i know that fucker’s weaknesses.  i could totally take me in a fight.”

[dreamingofbabylon]

frog and toad are my two remaining brain cells struggling to keep my horrible body alive

[babyanimalgifs]

the best thing you will see all year

[theshitneyspears]

friend: yeah the club is lit but drinks are so expensive

me: