[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

when in doubt you should always fuck that old man

[fortuneaday]

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[captain-price-returns]

Arrest everyone involved.

[captain-price-returns]

Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.

People killed: around three quarters of a million.

[yamelcakes]

world’s most evil man and I’m not being hyperbolic

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[allegedly-human]

I will. I WILL!!

[stahsm]

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

[thatisuseful]

Damn, that's useful

[fluidstatick]

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

[watsdaughter]

tags by @gallusrostromegalus

[teaboot]

OH HELL THE FUCK YES

[breya-etherium-shaper]

You ever think about how the only reason Samuel l Jackson got into acting is because he was a radical activist and his mom got threatened that he’d end up dead so she sent him away to school to save him

[postmarxed]

Literally the FBI told her to get him out of Atlanta or they were going to murder him

[pretentiouslimericks]

[yourkpopidolsucks]

UMMM???? CAN WE GET SOME ELABORATION PLEASE?????

[breya-etherium-shaper]

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

the fbi literally threatens people fighting for racial equality with death without a trial and people still think theyre the good guys

[godsfavoritespecialangel]

The chances of your fish committing credit card fraud is low, but never 0

[tuxankhamun]

[dogpuppy]

[vivietoria]

The Strawhats whenever they're in a crisis:

[eatcopperwire]

[glowcowboy]

it meant something to me! maybe that can be enough

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[mf-dude]

[vadergf]

I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead

[rudolphsboyfriend]

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

[bisexualalexmercer]

tumblr may have censored porn but check this out

i hope Elon musk KILLS himself and DIES a thousand DEATHS. and i hope every other billionaire a very merry DIE DIE DEATH KILL MURDER DEATH KILL

[the-trash-eating-llama]

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[worldtherewithin]