MDZS Chapter 117, Extras 2: Incense Burner — Let’s all watch Er-ge-ge’s dream! (part i.)
*note: ‘Wei Ying’ and ‘Lan Zhan’ are used to refer to the not-themselves, ‘Wei Wu Xian’ and ‘Lan Wang Ji’ are used to refer to themselves-themselves. You’ll see.
In a room for antiques at the storage facilities in the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wu Xian finds an old incense burner.
The burner has a body like a bear, a nose like an elephant, eyes like a rhinoceros, a tail like an ox, feet like a tiger. The stomach is the incense holder, and after lighting it, thin smoke drifts from its mouth.
In their rooms*, Wei Wu Xian plays with it for a while. “This thing looks interesting. It doesn’t hold any malignant auras, so it’s nothing dangerous. Lan Zhan, do you know what this is for?”
(*more accurately it’s a room where cultivators cultivate — the word used was 静室，静 referring to ‘quietness, calmness’. typically used in describing temples and where people meditate.)
Lan Wang Ji shakes his head. Wei Wu Xian inhales a few whiffs of the smoke, doesn’t feel any changes. The two can’t figure out anything, so they put away the incense burner for now, planning to study it at a later date.
But, not long after the two laid down, they felt extremely sleepy, and drifted off into sleep. When Wei Wu Xian awoke, he had no idea how long had passed, and found himself and Lan Wang Ji in a patch of wilderness instead of their rooms in the Cloud Recesses.
Wei Wu Xian stands up. “What’s this place?”
Lan Wang Ji replies, “Nowhere in the physical world.”
“Not the physical world? Nah, can’t be.” Wei Wu Xian gives his sleeves a shake, feeling instantly more awake. “What else can it be but reality?”
Lan Wang Ji does not reply. Walking quietly to a nearby stream, he indicates for him to look down. Wei Wu Xian follows, peeked into the water, and freezes. Reflected in the water is his visage from his previous life!
He looks up immediately. “That incense burner?”
Lan Wang Ji nods. “I’m afraid so.”
For a while, Wei Wu Xian stares at the face in the water. Then he wrenched his gaze away. “That’s alright. I’ve checked that incense burner, it doesn’t hold any resentful energy, so definitely not the tool of any monsters or ghouls, and it’s probably something some cultivating master made to entertain themselves. Let’s walk around, scope the situation.”
And so the two began to walk around this strange piece of mountain wilderness. Not long after, they come across a small wooden hut.
“Huh,” goes Wei Wu Xian, when he sees the hut.
“What?” says Lan Wang Ji.
Wei Wu Xian looks carefully at the little house. “I think this looks familiar.”
It’s an extremely average farm house. Despite his reservations, he can’t be sure if he’s really seen it before. Just then, a series of mechanical whirrs drift from inside the house.
The two look at each other. Without another word, they walk closer.
When they reach the doorway and look inside, they’re taken aback.
What’s inside was too different from whatever they thought they’d find. There’re no evil bandits, no monsters or ghouls, just a person. A very familiar person.
Inside the little wooden hut is another “Lan Wang Ji”!
This “Lan Wang Ji” and the one beside Wei Wu Xian has the exact same handsome looks, the exact same tall build. The simple set of blue-white robes worn by him takes on the aura of immortals. The loom seems to be operated by a spell, creaking through the motions by itself, and he sits by its side, book in hand, reading with a distilled concentration.
The two have now walked to the doorway, and made no small amount of noise, but “Lan Wang Ji” doesn’t seem to have noticed, continuing to read, flipping a page with long, thin fingers.
Wei Wu Xian looks from the Lan Wang Ji beside him to the “Lan Wang Ji” inside, and exclaims, enlightened, “I see, I see!”
Lan Wang Ji’s brow lifts a fraction, the minuscule motion expressing his puzzlement. “What?”
“This this this— this is my dream!” Wei Wu Xian says.
Barely a second later, a dark shadow sways into view outside the hut, shouting in a sing-song tone, “Er-ge-ge, I’m back~!”
Looking at this “Wei Wu Xian” — hoe on shoulder, fishing rod in hand, grass stalk between his teeth — Lan Wang Ji is silent.
If this is Wei Wu Xian’s dreamscape, then being invisible to these people is on par for the course.
The “Lan Wang Ji” in charge of weaving raises his head, sees “Wei Wu Xian”, and a corner of his lips tilt up. He stands up to welcome him, and pours him a cup of water.
“Wei Wu Xian” spits out the grass stalk in his mouth, sits down beside the little wooden table, picks up the cup and gulps a few mouthfuls of water before saying, “The sun today is way too bright. The work is still in the fields, we’ll talk about it when we’re free.”
(*isn’t he one lazy asshole.)
“Lan Wang Ji” says, “Mm.” and takes out a snowy-white towel for him. “Wei Wu Xian” sticks his face towards the other, grinning, with unmistakable meaning — he wants him to do it. “Lan Wang Ji” doesn’t mind, beginning to wipe his face for him. “Wei Wu Xian” enjoys the treatment, not forgetting to keep talking. “I went to the river just now, caught some fish, make me some fish soup tonight Lan Zhan!”
“Wei Wu Xian” continues to make requests: “How do you normally eat the carp at Gu-Su? Lan Zhan do you know how to make Suan-Cai-Yu*?”
(*sour-vegetable-fish. tastes better than it sounds, trust me.)
“Then make that! I like that one. Don’t make it sweet, you hear? Ate it once, vomited it out.”
“It’s getting warmer, today’s bath water won’t need to be that hot, so I only chopped half the firewood.”
“……” Lan Wang Ji stares at this nonsensical domestic scene. “Your dream?”
Wei Wu Xian’s about to burst a gut laughing. “Hahahahahahahahah, yep, that’s right, these few days I’ve been dreaming of these for some reason. I dreamt that we withdrew, moved to the mountains, I go out to hunt and tend the land, you stay home to weave and cook, oh, and, you also help me do the budgeting, plus you fix my clothes at night. Every time I would dream we got into the bath together, but it always stops just after we’ve taken off all our clothes, what a goddamn pity, hahahahahahaha……”
Not for one moment did he think it was humiliating for Lan Wang Ji to know these things, in fact he’s enjoying the feeling. Lan Wang Ji sees him beside himself with mirth, and his gaze softens. “That’s alright.”
Retreating into the woods, never again concerning themselves with the noises of the mortal realm, that’s truly alright.
(*idealistic much? …such an enabler, tsk.)
Wei Wu Xian’s dream was about the simple things in life — cooking, feeding, chopping firewood — and just as he said, when it’s time to get into the bath, the dream comes to a stop. The two walk a few steps, and they’re away from the house, approaching an elegant tower. The delicate scent of magnolias winds through the night air, coming from a flower tree situated in the tower’s yard.
The dream’s location has changed, and this new place is instantly recognizable to both. It’s the Gu-Su Cloud Recesses Library Pavilion.
Lantern light shines out from a second floor window; voices sound from within. Wei Wu Xian looks up. “Let’s go in?”
For some reason, Lan Wang Ji suddenly stops, something he doesn’t normally do. He stares at the window, deep in thought, like he’s hesitating. Wei Wu Xian thinks this strange, and, not coming up with any reason Lan Wang Ji wouldn’t go in, asks, “Is something wrong?”
Lan Wang Ji shakes his head. He’s just about to break his silence when a peal of laughter rings out from within the Library.
Wei Wu Xian hears it, eyes lighting up. With three bounds he’s in the Library and charging up the stairs.
Since he’s gone in, Lan Wang Ji naturally won’t remain outside alone, so he followed. The two walk into the lantern-lit Library, and something very interesting greets them.
On a faintly-colored mats, beside the books for copying, a fifteen-year-old Wei Wu Xian is slapping the table, laughing wildly, “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”
A book lies open on the ground, images yellowing from age. A similarly-fifteen-year-old Lan Zhan treats it like a venomous snake, having retreated all the way to the Library’s corner; he roars furiously, “Wei Ying——!”
A young Wei Wu Xian is just about rolling off the bookshelf from laughter. With some difficulty, he raises a hand. “Present! I’m present!”
The Wei Wu Xian here is also about to fall over from laughing; pulling on Lan Wang Ji’s sleeve beside him he gasps, “This is a good dream! I can’t anymore, Lan Zhan, look at you, look at you then, that face, hahahahaha…”
For whatever reason, Lan Wang Ji’s face has a strange expression. Wei Wu Xian pulls him to a bench nearby and sits down, watching their younger selves argue with a wide grin. On the other side, the younger Lan Zhan is already brandishing Bi Cheng, and Wei Ying hurriedly grabs Sui Bian. Metal gleams, the sword three parts out of its sheath, and Wei Wu Xian warns, “Watch it! Lan-Er Gong-zi! Watch your manners! I brought my sword today, if we start fighting I don’t think you’ll keep your Library in one piece!”
Lan Zhan rages, “Wei Ying! You—who do you think you are!”
Wei Ying shoots back, “Who can I be, I’m a male!”
“……” Lan Zhan sounds pained, “Shameless!”
Wei Ying says, “Even this kind of thing has to do with shame? Don’t tell me you’ve never seen that kind of stuff before, I don’t buy it.”
After a second of holding it in, Lan Zhan lifts his sword, face cold, and attacks. Wei Ying is shook, “What, you’re really going to fight!” returning the attack, and just like that, the two starts fighting in the Library. At this point, Wei Wu Xian goes “huh?” and looks to Lan Wang Ji. “Did it happen like that? I thought we didn’t actually start fighting?”
Lan Wang Ji is silent. Wei Wu Xian looks at him, but Lan Wang Ji avoids his gaze. Wei Wu Xian starts to suspect something is wrong with Lan Wang Ji tonight. He’s just thinking of asking, when suddenly on the other side the little Wei Ying begins to joke while still parrying blows, “Alright alright alright, good technique, good moves, you can wield a sword! But Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan… look at your face, it’s so flushed, is it from the fighting, or from looking at the Wonderful Book from earlier?”
The little Lan Zhan’s face is not red at all; Bi Chen swipes through the air. “Nonsense!”
Wei Ying bends backwards at the waist, does an extremely flexible half-somersault, then straightens and quickly pinches Lan Zhan’s lily-white cheeks, going, “What nonsense, why don’t you feel yourself, your face is burning up, haha!”
Lan Zhan’s expression flips between anger and shock. He goes to slap off Wei Ying’s grabby hand, but Wei Ying withdraws first, avoids the hit, spins around, seeming very familiar with this event progression and at ease enough to tease, “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan… I’m not picking on you, but it’s just that among the kids our age, is there anyone like you, going red at the smallest of things~. You can’t even take this level of shock, you’re way too innocent~.”
This scene didn’t simply not happen, it’s not even a dream he had, so it can only be Lan Wang Ji’s dream. Wei Wu Xian’s certainly enjoying this show. “Lan Zhan, you truly understand me. That is very much something I would say.”
What he didn’t notice is that right now, Lan Wang Ji seems to be slightly uncomfortable.
The Wei Ying over there continues. “Copying books is way too boring, why don’t I teach these stuff like these while we copy books? Just take it as payment for your watching over me……”
Lan Zhan has finally had enough of Wei Ying’s ridiculous ramblings. Bi Chen flies forwards, the two swords collide in a flash of sparks, knocking both out the window. Seeing Sui Bian flying out from his hand, Wei Ying yelps, “Oi, my sword!”
Yelling, he makes to leap out the window after his weapon, but Lan Zhan grabs him from behind, pressing him to the floor. Wei Ying’s head knocks on the floor, he starts to struggle, and almost immediately the two are tangled in a confused mess of fighting. Wei Ying kicks desperately, flailing with his elbows and knees, but no matter what he does he can’t escape the hold Lan Zhan has on him, like he’s been snared by some sort of metal net. “Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan what are you doing! I was joking, just joking! The hell’re you getting at, being so serious!”
Lan Zhan grabs his wrists in one hand, pushing them behind his body. “You said, just now, you’re going to teach me something.”
He’s tone sounds cold, but his eyes are burning with the intensity of a volcano.
The two would normally be evenly matched in strength, but Wei Ying slipped up and now he’s pinned solidly to the ground, and so he just plays the fool. “What? No? Did I say something just now?”
“Nope!” Wei Ying replies staunchly.
And then he keeps going. “Lan Zhan you don’t have to be so stiff you know, you shouldn’t take everything I say so seriously, you can’t believe all that crap, no need to get angry over that. I won’t say anything anymore, how about that, can you let go of me now, I haven’t finished copying my portion for the day, not playing anymore.”
(*yeeah WWX tends to string a lot of stuff into one run-on sentence, pick at your own risk.)
Hearing that, Lan Zhan’s expression softens a fraction, and he lets up on the pressure a little. Seeing this, Wei Ying frees a hand, arches a brow, blinks once, and a fist goes flying upwards.
Although, Lan Zhan is prepared for this. The second Wei Ying moves he’s caught and pinned once again. This time, Lan Zhan used more force, pressing Wei Ying’s wrist into an even more vicious angle, and he shouts, panicked, “I said I was joking! Lan Zhan! Don’t be so sensitive!”
There’re flames dancing behind Lan Zhan’s eyes. With nary a word, he pulls off his forehead band, winds it three times around Wei Ying’s hands, binding them tightly, then made a dead knot.
Who’d have thought? On one side, Wei Wu Xian’s jaw is about to drop to the floor at this scenario.
It was quite a while before he turned to Lan Wang Ji. A glance, and he sees Lan Wang Ji’s pale, composed face, not a blush in sight, but the tips of his ears have turned pink.
Wei Wu Xian grins, sidling up. “Lan-Er-ge-ge……this dream of yours, isn’t there something, not quite right?”
“……” Lan Wang Ji suddenly stands up. “Stop watching!”
Wei Wu Xian immediately pulls him back down, saying, “Don’t go now! I still want to see what happens next in this dream, we aren’t even at the good parts yet!”
Beside the writing desk, there was a spat of howling from Wei Ying, and once he calmed down, he tries to reason with Lan Zhan. “Lan Zhan, the wise speak instead of act, doing this shows your heart is too narrow, too small. Think about it, did I say anything about you just now?”
Lan Zhan sighs without sound, saying coldly, “You think about it yourself, what did you say just now.”
Wei Wu Xian tries to argue. “I only said you were innocent, said you didn’t know some things, that’s all. Isn’t that just the truth?
Lan Zhan is indifferent. “Who says I don’t know.”
Wei Wu Xian raises an eyebrow, laughs. “Oh—really? Admit it, like hell you’d know, hahahahahaha……ah!”
He screams quite suddenly, because Lan Zhan is suddenly holding onto a particular part of him below.
Lan Zhan’s handsome face holds some measure of childish aloofness, repeating, “Who says I don’t know.”
Wei Wu Xian is sprawled out beside Lan Wang Ji, nearly nibbling on his ear as he says, “Quite right, whoever said you didn’t know? Thoughts come by day, dreams come by night, Lan Zhan, tell me the truth, you really wanted to do those things to the me in those days, right? I never thought……you were that kind of Han-Guang-Jun.”
Lan Wang Ji’s face is still expressionless, but pink is creeping up his neck. The fingers resting on his knees are also curling imperceptibly.
The little Wei Ying over there has something important of his in another’s hands. He’s frozen on the floor, gasping for breath, “Lan Zhan the hell are you doing! Are you crazy!”
Lan Zhan has slid himself in between Wei Ying’s legs, whole demeanor exuding control and threat. Wei Yin saw that it wasn’t going well for him, and immediately switched to, “……no no no! No one said you didn’t know! You you you you let go, let’s talk properly!”
He flails his hands madly, but the forehead band of the Gu-Su Lan Sect is made from the best materials, and no matter how he struggles, he can’t free himself, can’t escape. After a few more flails, he spots a book lying by the side, grabs it, throws it at Lan Zhan, hoping the saintly quality of this Library would shock him back to sanity. “Wake up!”
The book hits Lan Zhan’s chest, falls to the ground between Wei Ying’s legs, its pages falling open. Lan Zhan glances down, and stops moving.
What the hell, the art on that page is of an extra-revealing erotica. And, the two people on the drawing, were both men!
Wei Wu Xian still remembers, the book of erotica he gave to Lan Wang Ji didn’t include any homosexual material, so there definitely was no such drawing, and couldn’t hope back a surprised gasp. The attention to detail in this dream……it’s way too intricate, color him impressed!
Lan Zhan lowers his head, staring unblinkingly at the open page. Wei Ying sees it too, and in a moment of awkwardness goes, “……er……” Keeping his lamentation to himself, he decides it’s still better to act instead of speak, and so kicks with all his might. But Lan Zhan frees a hand, grabs his knee, pushes his legs further apart, and bends down to pull open his waist -band and pants.
Wei Ying feels a cold breeze around his lower half, looks down, and his heart just about stops. He screams shrilly, “Lan Zhan the fuck are you doing?!”
The Wei Wu Xian watching is beside himself with glee, practically vibrating with excitement, and thinks gleefully to himself, “What else! He’s going to do you!”
Incense Burner 2. part iii. part iv.
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