Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to Bucky? You can just call me E. Well, yesterday a friend of mine committed suicide, and since I was already depressed I've gotten much worse. My mom doesn't quite understand and is now yelling at me to "be in a better mood" and to just "suck it up and be happy". I cut, and yesterday I made 15 marks and today I made 12 (probably because I really hate myself). I am so lost and don't know what to do. Please help.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, we’regonna do a breathing exercise real quick, okay? Inhale and count backwards from5…4…3…2…1. Good. Now exhale and do the same thing…5…4…3…2…1.Awesome job! Do you feel calmer?
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Suicide is a tough thing to talk about and deal with the aftermath of. You gotta know that it is okay to grieve, and there will be some days where you feel like the world is caving in, but please, please, please, I don’t wanna see you using a not-so-awesome coping mechanism to deal with it. Self-harm, especially at a point where you feel kinda sorta really numb, is Not Good. It’s destructive and can lead to you really hurting yourself, which we wanna avoid. Can you figure out a specific trigger ortriggers that you might have? If you can, you’regonna wanna try to avoid those things as much as possible. Blacklist their tagson tumblr, and ask your friends not to talk about that sorta stuff if it’ssomething that comes up in conversation. Another thing I would do would be toget rid of whatever it is you use to self-harm. Throw it in the rubbish bin,destroy it, burn it– okay, maybe you don’t wanna do that lastone– but I’d definitely suggest getting rid of it somehow. Ifyou’re gonna throw it in a rubbish bin, throw it in a random one or maybe yourneighbor’s, so you’re not tempted to go back for it. When you feel the urge tocut, try to distract yourself by doing something that involves your body oroccupies your hands. Draw on the places you like to cut, go find that hellacool Game of Thrones coloring book and go to town, play with your dog, go for arun, have a dance party, or try cooking. This list is a totally awesome list of alternatives, ‘cause it’s gonna giveyou alternatives based off of your current mood.
Healthy grieving is kinda weird, but basically, you’ve gotta steer clear of destructive behaviors. This might sound cliche, but you’re gonna need to be gentle with yourself. Everyone grieves differently, so don’t think that you gotta set up some sorta deadline to be “over it” by– that’s not how it works, y’know? Writing in a journal might help you get out your feelings when you don’t know how to express them, just like drawing or painting. There are also a lotta books out there that help people with grieving. Libraries are full of ‘em! Also, keeping some sorta keepsake with you– like a bracelet or a pin or something– that reminds you of your friend is something that people say has been helpful for ‘em. Here’s the full guide for you to check out.
I think that you might wanna talk to atherapist about all of this. You’ve got a helluva lotta stuff on your plate,and it’s not easy to handle all of this alone. I know thattherapy can seem kinda sorta definitely scary, but it really can help. Remember,not every therapist is gonna be the right one for you, and if you don’t thinkyour therapist is helping you, you can always switch therapists– of course, yagotta give it a few months first, ‘cause it takes a coupla months to getin the swing of things and see what’s up.
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