honey bread

instagram @wu.jess | YouTube @sortajess https://youtu.be/w1kOqGsZ_CU | never on tumblr anymore

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[vermillionkill-deactivated20230]

worth a shot huh

[grascet]

WHY THE HELL NOT

[thikachu]

sorry my dudes i can’t not

[ratatatatataracoon]

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY LOST WEIGHT. I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING LIKE MY PANTS ARE STARTING TO SLIP DOWN A LOT OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK SO I WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND LOOK CUTE AND OR INNOCENT DURING THE PROCESS AND LITERALLY TWO TIMES THIS KIND TEACHER AT MY SCHOOL SAID I ALWAYS LOOKED COMFY

Guys.

And the second time she asked why do you always look so comfy with so many sweaters and loose jeans as I was walking to the bus. Mind fucking blown.

[d-135am]

Let’s see

[zackisontumblr]

this is the money minaj, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!! 

[haramheaux]

I just found $2 in my pussy omg!!!!

[zackisontumblr]

see it really works!!

[dat-chem-nerd]

This is the best picture

[milotlc-deactivated20141029]

please get off my blog you are in the middle of the ocean you are probably drowning

[milotlc-deactivated20141029]

oh wait I’ve been told thats hawaii

[always-a-sad-girl]

i was looking for free furniture but maybe thats not what i was meant to find

[toastoat]

what are its talents

[braftdead]

enemy of the dogspotting community

[teumessianfox89-deactivated2021]

[bonerfart]

this looks like the kinda pic 40 year old moms would post on facebook with the caption “the doctor said I could only have one glass of wine a day… I can live with that lol!”

[abadeerzs]

[urulokid]

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

[saevuswinds-deactivated20240226]

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

[urulokid]

BLESS YOU

[seriousjones]

late night confession: i’ve been doing the cha cha slide for years now and i have no fucking idea what to do when the guy’s like “cha cha real smooth.” i have no fucking idea what to do so i just kind of walk in place until everybody else takes it back now y'all. i hope that nobody notices, but even then, i notice. i’m a fraud

[the-treasures-untold-deactivate]

Okay so I’m watching my friend’s cats while she’s away and she left me descriptions so I could tell who’s who

They’re pretty accurate 

[gothicprep]

before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that

[avvocarlo]

[rooks]

The best moments of this show are where Eric has realized they’ve gone too far

[roaringstream]

They deadass got a live bear….

[wrathofthegiraffe]

There should be a word to describe that horrible feeling you get when you realize halfway through telling a story that it’s not as funny as you thought it was, but it’s too late to back out. So you just finish the story and everyone listening does that awkward polite laugh and then it gets quiet, so you burn your house down, fake your death, move to Chile and start a new life as a loner fisherman.

[perchu-deactivated20180224]

in skyrim you can ride a bee

[perchu-deactivated20180224]

in real life you can ride a bee

[tsarbucks-deactivated20190812]

[perchu-deactivated20180224]

dont do this here

[angelsguideher]

I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think Kylie’s new legs are SO fun..”

[jumbo-queer]

imagine your current friend group but dwayne the rock johnson is an unquestioned part of it

[angelsguideher]

I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think Kylie’s new legs are SO fun..”