Breaking the casual silence around the campfire, Scar asks, âDo you think we were ever in love?â
The question is out of nowhere, but it isnât a surprise either. Grian thinks about it, about the livesâ worth of history between them. Of the mundane: slowly becoming friends on Hermitcraft, of the most memorable pranks theyâve gotten up to. It must be a side effect of enjoying his time on Empires that he doesnât first think of Scarâs lips on his own, of shivering together in the desert and all of the ruin that came after. Guilt. Anger. Desperately trying to be anything other than Grian and Scar, In Love.Â
He says the same thing heâs said before, when Scar has asked similar questions. âIt wasnât nothing.â
Scar sighs, looking into the flames. âI know that.â He doesnât push the issue, though. Grian isnât going to say anything else, because thatâs all he can offer.
Scar misses it, but he respects the decision. In a lot of ways, it makes sense to stay this way.Â
That doesnât mean he never thinks about it.Â
The problem with asking Grian if he lovesâ or ever did loveâ Scar is that they both know that Grian did. And he still does, but Scar isnât sure what kind of love it is anymore. Most of the time it just feels like friendship, but the ghost of whatever it was they used to have changes the taste of the words he says to Grian. Every single one is far sweeter than it ought to be.Â
Itâs harder to know if they ever were in love, though.Â
Third Life was soâ well, it was a fast few months. In the grand scheme of things, it wasnât much. More importantly, it didnât end well. Grian won, because heâs that kind of man. Selfish. Itching to cause trouble. Scar didnât fight back, either. It left no choice. In the moment, Grian mostly felt his red heart pumping red blood through his veins, anger and despair and a need to survive mingling with the hot feeling heâd always get, being around Scar in that desert.
Before all of that, though. Was he in love with Scar? Did Scar know what he was getting himself into enough to truly be in love with Grian back?
(Of course, of course, of course. What else could it have been?)
He thinks about why Scar even asked. Itâs been a while since even Double Life, which was both disastrous and miraculous. So much has happened on Hermitcraft this year alone. He figured theyâd aged out of it as best they could. It doesnât matter anymore that sometimes he still wants Scar. Thatâs only sometimes, anyway.
He could have moved on. Scar gave him an easy out. Thereâs never really an easy out of your feelings, though, is there?
âIâll tell you a secret,â Grian says, barely a whisper.
A few feet away, cowboy hat discarded, illuminated gorgeous and orange, Scar looks back down at Grian, back from the stars he had been staring silently at. âI love secrets,â he replies, easy yet cautious, eager yet balanced precariously.
âWe were definitely in love. At least for a little while.â
