Hopefully Healing

Just someone trying to heal, pfp credit to @riverwindphotography

[thevirgodoll]

heal from the narrative you told yourself in survival mode. heal from the narrative other people told you while they were in survival mode. it’s all false.

you did your best. you are good enough. you don’t have to operate out of fear anymore.

and i know what you’re thinking… “but i don’t have a choice.” you do. you can give yourself those moments of living and being present with yourself. even if it’s for five minutes.

everything doesn’t have to be processed right away, but you’ve got to stop operating as if time is running out and as if your life needs to play the background and be blurry as it moves by so quickly.

life isn’t as ephemeral as our trauma makes it seem. we have blocked parts out, and survival mode is how we compartmentalize and get it back. that’s okay, but it’s no way to live. it’s not sustainable.

it’s time to be sick of being on autopilot. stop surviving and start living.

[artsycatmom-deactivated20230827]

It's hard work

[hopesandmountains]

There is no escaping from deep subconscious feelings, but there is reframing and acceptance.

Accept the facts around the situation and how you feel, but not what the dark feelings tell you. Things will get better and tomorrow can be brighter. Always

[traumasurvivors]

For some survivors, healing comes from realizing there wasn't anything they needed to forgive themselves for. For others, it means that they forgive themselves for the things they didn't know, for making mistakes, or any number of things.

Whatever your journey looks like for you, you don't deserve to punish yourself forever. You deserve to heal, and grow.

I hope that soon you are able to forgive yourself, or perhaps realize you never did anything you needed to forgive yourself for. I hope that the days get lighter, and the weight on your shoulders feels lighter. I hope that you heal.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes being a Responsible Adult™ doesn’t mean cooking a balanced meal. sometimes it means adding a spoonful of nut butter to your microwave meal so at least you get some protein. 

sometimes it means buying a gallon of the one brand of vegetable juice u like, so you get some green stuff into your diet.  

sometimes it means running the dishwasher twice when u can’t rinse stuff by hand, or using paper plates so the dishes don’t pile up.

sometimes being a Responsible Adult™ means getting your body & mind the stuff it needs in an unconventional way. sometimes it means realizing there is no such thing as the “right” way. there is only what you can manage, and what works for your situation.

[lambergeier]

the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING

[lambergeier]

yeah it makes life worthwhile. i hope you get to hang out with a bunch of people you really like for several days in a row some time soon!

[robertreich]

The President is lying about Social Security as an excuse to gut Social Security after promising not to touch it. Why? To pave the way for more tax cuts for the rich.

[robertreich]

"We must especially beware of that small group of selfish men who would clip the wings of the American eagle in order to feather their own nests." -FDR, 1941

[traumasurvivors]

If you suffered abuse as a child, I want you to know that no matter what you may have done, it wasn’t deserved.

Consequences for bad behaviour should never be abuse.

Any excuse given to you for why you were abused isn’t valid. There is no reason you should have been abused.

Abusers abuse you because they are abusers, not because you’re “bad”.

[chillizabeth777]

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

Narcissistic families are run like cults… so if you’re raised in one, you’re used to this kind of environment and may find yourself drawn/susceptible to them in your adult life

[divineexpression]

Throwing away people, sabotaging the connection, shutting down, looking elsewhere, pushing them unconsciously or consciously away through various patterns of behavior, looking for better & different can be a mechanism of protection & fear of true intimacy & connection. For sure there are situations where it is necessary to say stop. When it comes to matters of emotions discernment is needed. If you find yourself changing people often, unable to create long lasting relations, relations where you are seen, heard, acknowledged, relations that go deeper than the surface, or to create relations at all, there is a deeper issue behind it. That issue is fear. What would happen if it became reality? Can you allow it? Can you open up & receive it. There might exist deep seated fear of what would happen if a 'dream relationship' would actually exist within. There might also be stagnation & resentment towards receiving it. It sounds paradox, but the very thing we wish for is often the thing we are most afraid of. Thats why making our dreams come true is always connected to facing ourselves fully. There is a lot of unhealthy conditioning within all of us because of not so nice experiences we made. It is crucial to understand, that these mechanisms don't work against us intentionally, they try to protect us. So as long as the fear is still working through us unconsciously it will keep the experiences we wish for away from us. Learn to feel the emotion & move with the waves, going deeper & deeper every time something is shown to you through the experience of dissatisfaction & contrast to what you actually wish for from the heart.

[hopesandmountains]

For me this is a struggle because subconsciously I seek out people who are familiar (so recreating my childhood which wasn’t healthy), so it can be really difficult to tell if I am pushing away people for the right reasons or not.

It can be a challenge to tell if I’m drawn to someone for the right reasons or not, and I really have a fear of settling with someone who is really unsafe due to attachment issues.

I’ve been able to protect myself by taking things slow and backing away when I feel off.

But posts like this make me worry that I’m pushing away people who would actually be good for me and that I’d want to be with.

[radicalbrownbabe]

shoutout to the survivors who are not forgiving, who do not believe that what happened to them was ‘for a reason’, who know they did not deserve it, who are angry at what happened to them, and who do not show the typical ‘good victim’ trope. You all get so much shit from people about how you should act from your trauma because only ‘good victims’ are deserving of empathy and support. You deserve so much more than that.

[myfatherwasapredator]

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

[loveyourlovelysoul]

I'm firmly convinced that each decision you've been taking (or not), each change of mind you had (or not), as long as you've followed your heart at that exact moment you had to take action (or not) and acted in accordance with what you felt was best for you (even if it didn't seem so or didn't turn out as so), is always always going to take you were you're supposed to be. And it'll be also wehre you wanted to be from day one (but you just didn't know too well/how). Please be patient and positive. And forgive yourself: it'll be good.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

It may be that if you grew up in an unpredictable and unsafe environment, you have learnt to predict and read everyone's mood and smooth any tension in order to save yourself. This habit may still be part of how you act in your relationships; the moment you don't know how to read someone's feelings, it may give you deep anxiety because you unconsciously may feel like you're in an unsafe situation, where you cannot prevent any possible outburst of anger or any other sudden reaction about you.

To continuosly monitoring people in search of possible threats and finding solutions for those, it's very draining for you, and keeps you away from yourself and your emotions by making you focus on others' ones solely. To keep looking on the outside and abandoning yourself in order to preemptively try to save yourself from danger has surely worked well in your childhood, but now it's no more what's going to save you. You're not responsible for anyone's emotion nor you have to make it better all the times and asap. Not everything is your fault nor it's your duty to solve everyone's problems: people often needs to solve their stuff by themselves.

[daily-reminders-that-ur-enough]

It's okay to slip-up, to relapse, to make mistakes and fall down. Know that there is always a way to get back up.

[snapnarcissisticabuserecovery]