That's What I Said

Ray. 23, queer as fuck. Peruvian/Latina (light skinned Mestiza/Arab Latinx). She/They pronouns.

[anxietyproblem]

[wellyfullofale]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[thequeenofsunflowers-deactivate]

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

[sstudyblr]

not risking it

[barredandboujee]

I have been beside myself about the emergence of child concentration camps so I want to give a shout out to all the immigration attorneys doing your respective deity’s work right now

How can the rest of us best support you? I know of RAICES and KIND, and am trying to find the best local legal services groups to donate to

[barredandboujee]

Update, friends–

My law school just emailed alums a bunch of information if we’re interested in helping immigrant families who have been separated at the border.

Here’s the gist.

Opportunities to assist with family separation:

Immigration Justice Campaign (**for attorneys only** powered by the American Immigration Council and American Immigration Lawyers Association)

https://actionnetwork.org/forms/we-stand-with-immigrants-their-families-sign-up-to-volunteer

If you are able to go to Texas: http://caraprobono.org/volunteer/ Other volunteer opportunities to help immigrants generally:

Serve as a child advocate for an unaccompanied minor:https://www.theyoungcenter.org/volunteer-at-the-young-center/

Find local legal and non-legal opportunities: https://www.standwithimmigrants.org Donate to organizations that have hosted Pro Bono Caravans and/or In-House Pro Bono Projects and are assisting immigrant families and unaccompanied minors:

KIND – Kids in Need of Defense https://supportkind.org/ They are supporting kids directly at the border and beyond through legal and social services.  

Aldea supports families at the Berks family detention center: https://aldeapjc.org/

RAICES is a nonprofit that provides free and low-cost legal services to immigrant children, families and refugees in Texas. Donate generally or specifically to the RAICES bond fund: https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/bondfund

Las Americas Immigrant Advocacy Center in El Paso, Texas: http://las-americas.org/

Urban Justice Center Asylum Seeker Advocacy Project:https://asylumadvocacy.org/get-involved/ Other lists/drives/charitable efforts:

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/06/how-you-can-fight-family-separation-at-the-border.html

https://www.texastribune.org/2018/06/18/heres-list-organizations-are-mobilizing-help-separated-immigrant-child/

In NYC: http://www.marklevine.nyc/childrefugees

Let’s all do what we can!

[oaluz]

The practice of assertiveness means acting. Act as if you are already the healthiest person you can be. Do not wait until you feel better about yourself or until you believe you have what it takes. Act as if you are self-actualised and your beliefs will follow suit. Act while you fear rather than waiting until you feel unafraid. “Acting as if” is a form of playfulness. Play successfully combines contrasts and opposites. When we act as if we are already more advanced than we imagine ourselves to be, we are creatively playing with an old, habitual self-image and welcoming a new self that wants to emerge. This new self is encouraged into existence by the image we are displaying when we “act as if.”

David Richo, How to Be an Adult (via dostevsky)

[lemonmeirngue]

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

[unclebabie]

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!

[cutedemonbabe]

I’m convinced bc I reblogged this on Friday, got hired at a job I had a million interviews for, went on a first date that went well, and got kissed a billion times so like hell ya to the luck cat

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[escapewithmeforeverbabe]

[sheismysquishy]

Do you ever just lay in bed and realize how not okay you are

[quasi-normalcy]

No, I’m serious, if women all got together and went into electrical engineering or automotive repair en masse, then ten years later people would be talking about how it was a “soft field” and it would pay proportionately less than other fields.

Likewise, if men moved en masse to bedeck themselves in sparkles and make-up, then suddenly you’d get a bunch of editorials talking about how classy they look.

None of these things are inherently masculine or feminine; none of these things inherently elevate you or drag you down. But whatever women are seen to do is automatically seen as being inherently more frivolous than anything men do. And shaming women for not pigeonholing themselves into a narrow range of acceptable “masculine” behaviours is just going to result in the goalposts getting moved once again.

[an-gremlin-deactivated20160222]

This is literally what happened to basically every field women have entered. The opposite happens when men enter. Computers used to be a “woman thing” until the guys who did it got really mad about how badly their job was viewed and realized they could fix it by forcing out women.

[meariver]

Also happened/ is happening with the fields of biology and psychology….

[quasi-normalcy]

I honestly wonder how much of the backlash against public education in the last generation has been due to teaching becoming a woman-dominated profession.

[warpedellipsis]

Fashion used to be a men’s thing. Then women got involved in the late 17/1800’s, so men went the other way because it came to be seen as “frivolous” and “anti-intellectual” to care about how you looked. Add in the homophobia that arose around that time, bam, staid bland dress. Ditto leggings/tights, that are now called attention-whoring when on men they were required to show you cared about your figure and had the money to pay for such a fitted item. 

People want to say misogyny doesn’t exist, that male privilege doesn’t exist. Look beyond “living memory” and you’ll find that’s what drives the “inexplicable reversals” society seems to make on many things. Hell, just look beyond your own society, and you’ll find out that what’s considered “for men” elsewhere is held in high esteem while here it’s scoffed at purely because it’s “for women”: 

Skinny jeans are the height of masculinity in several east Asian societies, rather than being seen as “gay” in the USA because of their association with femininity. 

Medical fields in Russia are valued like kindergarten teachers are here, because it’s women who are the doctors instead of men.

Love and romance are highly valued in eastern countries, because men are interested in it too—of course they would be, surely you want to share your life with someone? Here, it’s strictly a women’s subject.

[darksnowfalling-deactivated2020]

The field of anthropology as a whole illustrates this.

Significantly higher proportions of females compared to males are currently entering the fields of archaeology and biological anthropology, and as this occurs, the prestige, funding, acceptance as valid kinds of science, etc, are fading quickly.

This has already occurred with linguistic anthropology and cultural anthropology. Cultural anthropology in particular went VERY quickly from being seen as a manly, scientific discipline (e.g., Franz Boas, Bronisław Malinowski) to being seen as a touchy-feely female thing.

[maxofs2d]

Let’s examine a traditionally male-dominated role that is very well-respected, and well-paid, in many parts of the world — that of a doctor. In the UK, it is listed as one of the top ten lucrative careers, and the average annual income of a family doctor in the US is well into six figures. It also confers on you significant social status, and a common stereotype in Asian communities is of parents encouraging their children to become doctors.

One of my lecturers at university once presented us with this thought exercise: why are doctors so highly paid, and so well-respected? Our answers were predictable. Because they save lives, their skills are extremely important, and it takes years and years of education to become one. All sound, logical reasons. But these traits that doctors possess are universal. So why is it, she asked, that doctors in Russia are so lowly paid? Making less than £7,500 a year, it is one of the lowest paid professions in Russia, and poorly respected at that. Why is this?

The answer is crushingly, breathtakingly simple. In Russia, the majority of doctors are women. Here’s a quote from Carol Schmidt, a geriatric nurse practitioner who toured medical facilities in Moscow: “Their status and pay are more like our blue-collar workers, even though they require about the same amount of training as the American doctor… medical practice is stereotyped as a caring vocation ‘naturally suited‘ to women, [which puts it at] a second-class level in the Soviet psyche.”

What this illustrates perfectly is this — women are not devalued in the job market because women’s work is seen to have little value. It is the other way round. Women’s work is devalued in the job market because women are seen to have little value. This means that anything a woman does, be it childcare, teaching, or doctoring, or rocket science, will be seen to be of less value simply because it is done mainly by women. It isn’t that women choose jobs that are in lower-paid industries, it is that any industry that women dominate automatically becomes less respected and less well-paid.

http://cratesandribbons.com/2013/12/13/patriarchys-magic-trick-how-anything-perceived-as-womens-work-immediately-sheds-its-value/

[bons-sonos]

“Men may cook or weave, or dress dolls or hunt humming birds, but if such activities are appropriate occupations of men, then the whole society, men and women alike, votes them as important. When the same occupations are performed by women, they are regarded as less important (Mead, 1949, p. 159).” https://www.questia.com/library/journal/1G1-19279160/in-a-complex-voice-the-contradictions-of-male-elementary

[tk-tako]

“The wage gap is a myth”

[drferox]

The entire field of veterinary medicine says hello.

[shez-a-dove-deactivated20161204]

no offense but I look forward to having a healthy way of thinking and coping and living

[sancty]

This Japanese couple, who have been married for 37 years, share their matching outfits on their instagram account: bonpon511 💗

[guava-pussy-deactivated20181119]

Holy cuteness

[kamonra]

This is the money pentacle. Reblog and unexpected money will come to you!

[darkcocosb-blog]

Shiiiiit. I reblogged, and I got $750 in two days for basically nothing! The first day this client/POT asked my agent to invite some girls and I to his end. We basically sipped wine and left with $500 each. He called me yesterday and we took a ride on my highway and gave me $250😂😂😂. Money blogs everyday any day!

[soflobrat]

Won’t chance it.

[br0wnsugarandspice]

Yo this shit works not even gonna front like I didn’t just get money

[tastelikehoney-sb-deactivated20]

Let me reblog this 2x then 😂

[nudiemuse]

Do the thing pls

[quickweaves]

im screaming it worked lmfao

[hunter-dahl-deactivated20161208]

Not to be a “tumblr witch” but I’ll try anything twice

[dunsparce]

Guys…. I didn’t think it would work but wtf….I just checked my email…

I have an extra $600 I didn’t have before ;____;

[jaxblade]

Lets go!

[bpd-trichster]

um somebody invent time travel so I can go back to my childhood self and Save Her from the crap that will cause a personality disorder

[ruibird-deactivated20170901]

since it’s a scary time to be trans: refuge restrooms is an app which maps gender-neutral/single-stall restrooms. it’s community-mapped, so it’s possible you might be the first person to log the restroom locations, but hopefully it’ll help some people.

please reblog this post if you’ve got trans followers. stay safe.

[shanology]

For my non-trans followers: please consider getting the app just so you can add neutral restrooms to the map when you run across them. Simple way to help.

[markv5]

мне на нём тепло и мягко.

[positronicpussy]

[radicalbrownbabe]

VALENTINE'S DAY | ASK SPECIAL

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

7: Have you ever cheated?

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

23: How many relationships have you had?

24: Do you think love can last forever?

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

29: What do you notice first about another person?

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

33: Do you want to get married one day?

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

36: Are you still a virgin?

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?

38: Do you enjoy love films?

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?

48: What's your favorite love song?

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?

62: How do you define "cheating"?

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?

[radicalbrownbabe]

Hi idk what to think about this. This guy and I were messing around and he wanted to have sex and at first I didn't but then we made out more and eventually had sex. I felt so icky afterwards and idk if i was raped but i just dont know what to feel and its been bothering me for days. Was it rape?

Ooof.

Anon, I really don’t know what to say.

While I have clear definitions of what rape is, I am not going to take away someone’s feelings about a situation. If it felt fishy to you, then it probably was.

If he pushed you by manipulating you, ignoring your “no"s, or acted angry at your rejections, then yes it would be rape. There are no grey areas about that.

There’s also other situations where, especially womxn, don’t necessarily go through assault but they weren’t honest with themselves either. I myself have consented to sex that I did not want to, mainly out of the fact that I was not taught that I had the RIGHT to say NO and not do a sexual act just cause I was naked, had said yes before, or so many other factors.

While I wouldn’t call what I went through rape or assault, during those times, I would be lying if I said I was 100% honest and sure of what I was doing. And this is why it is so crucial that people learn about consent at a young age. Not only to learn when other people are not consenting but to also learn when YOU are not consenting and that you have the RIGHT to not consent to anything.

I’m not going to judge your situation for you, Anon. In the end, you know your feelings and situation more than anyone else. If this is similar to what I explained, just know that it’s okay. Be honest with yourself and know that you have the right to not do anything you do not want to do.

If you are in a relationship with this person, I suggest communication (if you are in a safe situation to do so) because it is clear that, consensual or not, YOU are not okay with what happened. The reasons why maybe varied and complex.

But what is not complex is this: if he in any way pushed you or made you go past any boundary against your will, it IS rape. And if so, I wish you the absolutely best and my inbox is open if you ever need to talk.

You don’t have to carry this burden alone.

Take care anon