WOW

Take your dreams seriously

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lesser-flamingo]

every time i see this the more i think he’s right actually

[whitepeopletwitter]

[homoidiotic]

[toastbutteregg]

[sushie-moved]

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[jxhn-mulaney]

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

[lovelydeck]

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

This is my favorite version of this thread now

[jimmypesto]

“Listen, Gene: you may get distracted sometimes, but I love you. And I love you who are.”

[archangelruind]

my friend is studying for the mcat and was just trying to explain to me about heat transfer and she said ‘you know, like the reason you get cold when you go outside on a freezing day is that your tiny human body is trying to warm up the entire universe’ and i think that’s the best thing i have ever heard

[telesilla]

I kind of needed this today. Thank you.

[gingahhh]

when are male celebs gonna stop wearing boring ass plain black and white tuxedos and suits to award shows like step it up they all look the same I don’t care who made it. I wanna see some hunger games Capitol style fashion

[zombb-8-deactivated20190924]

They need to take a page from John Boyega’s book. That purple suit. Hot damn.

[babblingbug]

Not forgetting the all red, and the one with the blue blazer…….

[metallikato]

In case people missed the red suit and his blue look: 

And then the gorgeous purple Decepticon one: 

[star-spangled-jackass]

damn son

[louislumbarcurve]

I see your John Boyega and would also like to add Michael B. Jordan 

also, it’s not red carpet but I refuse to ignore these beauties:

[scrimbrim]

I need these suits

[evilspice]

yes

[peppapigvevo]

come thru bitch

[verybestmonica-deactivated20211]

If I had legs like his I'd show them off all the time too

[peppapigvevo]

If I had this much ass I'd wear skin tight pencil skirts all the time

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

KING HAS LEGS

[ororomunroedontpullout]

A true warrior queen has risen

[black-nata]

whoever said scooby doo isn’t intellectual: explain this then

[whitepeopletwitter]

[fullpraxisnow]

“[I]t is actually more expensive to be poor than not poor. If you can’t afford the first month’s rent and security deposit you need in order to rent an apartment, you may get stuck in an overpriced residential motel. If you don’t have a kitchen or even a refrigerator and microwave, you will find yourself falling back on convenience store food, which — in addition to its nutritional deficits — is also alarmingly overpriced. If you need a loan, as most poor people eventually do, you will end up paying an interest rate many times more than what a more affluent borrower would be charged. To be poor — especially with children to support and care for — is a perpetual high-wire act.”

— It Is Expensive to Be Poor | The Atlantic

[bae-in-maine]

“Poverty charges interest ” holy hell. Ive never read$heard someone put it that way before. But its so friggen true.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[toastbutteregg]

THIS IS SO WHOLESOME

[toastbutteregg]

this is adorable!!!