I Like It Better After Midnight

Hey I’m Sayce! - 18

[hotsayce]

Welcome :)

Hello hello! Welcome to my blog. You can call me Sayce!

I enjoy writing (mostly for nct) but I am very aware that I’m not the best so please bear with me and know that I only write to have fun and learn. 🥰

No rules yet, just be nice and feel free to talk to me or suggest fic ideas if you want to!

Masterlist

[creativepromptsforwriting]

May Prompts 🌺

Word prompts to use for doodling or writing

strawberries

adventure

golden hour

lake house

picnic

mayflower

nostalgia

homecoming

juice box

farmer’s market

morning light

birdsong

drive-in theater

island

photographs

riptide

coffee-to-go

tree house

instrument

cerulean

porch

animal shelter

lemonade

potted plant

spirit

milkshake

orchids

field

petrichor

sketching

memory lane

[hotsayce]

{Johnny x Reader - <1k - You don’t feel well because of your period and Johnny notices }

"I don't want to watch anything right now!" You throw the remote you’re holding on the chair beside you and slump into the couch with your head down. You use the blanket you've been holding to cover your head.

"What's with you today? You've been so mean." Johnny slowly sits down beside you and starts rubbing your back.

I can't help it.

You say nothing and sit in silence while he thinks of something to make you feel better.

"Do you want to eat something?" he asks.

Yes please.

Nothing.

"Are you tired?"

Extremely

Still nothing.

He tries again. "Hmm okay what about—"

"I want to be left alone!" you snap.

He takes the hint and gets off the couch and walks upstairs.

You know why you're acting so mean. Your period is a day late and you've been starting to feel cramps so you know it's coming soon. You're always easily irritated before it comes and you feel so bad for taking it out on Johnny but you just want to be alone right now.

While looking at the calendar on your phone to see when your last cycle was, Johnny comes back inside the living room. Peeping your head out from under the blanket, you see he's holding your heating pad and a snack.

You take the heating pad from him and pull it under the blanket once he plugs it in.

"How'd you know." you ask him at it starts to heat up.

He sits down beside you again, laying on your back. "You don't normally get upset like this."

You nod your head silently under the blanket.

"And the period tracker on my phone says that your period should be coming soon."

Hearing this, you sit up and turn towards him.

"You have a period tracker on your phone?"

"Of course!" He pulls his phone out of his pocket to show you the calendar and dates from your last cycle. "I like being prepared."

Of course he has a period tracker on his phone because he cares about you and doesn't deserve to be yelled at. No matter how awful your cramps feel.

You lay your head down on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around you.

"Thank you Johnny."

He kisses you lightly on your forehead. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Well…I was a little hungry?"

Does this count as vent writing? Was feeling very yucky today and no one wanted to watch what I wanted on tv 🙄🙄 so then I obviously had to sulk and be moody. So this story is basically abt me but minus the Johnny😋

[creativepromptsforwriting]

November Prompts 🍂

Word prompts to use for doodling or writing

crisp air

memories

tea time

rainy

carriage ride

star gazing

mysterious

early sunsets

historic

cozy

shooting stars

gloomy

cuddling

scarecrow

gratefulness

stellar constellation

blanket

rainboots

hugs

mist

fireplace

steaming mugs

wind

puddles

moonlight

Thanksgiving

grey sky

smoke

apple cider

lanterns

[ncitytweets]

[hotsayce]

Very upset at school for giving me no time to watch my kpop boys 🙁 I’m so behind on everything I wanna cry 👎🏾

[hotsayce]

Waking Up

{ Doyoung X Reader - <1k - You wake up to your boyfriend getting ready for work - Kind of suggestive - NCT }

Waking up you roll over, eyelids still tired as you look up at your boyfriend.

"Good morning."

"Good morning my love." Doyoung replies already wide awake, reading a book he's been into lately.

"You haven't left yet?" You ask trying to lean up on your arms but then laying back down because of how sore they were.

"No not yet," he leans down to kiss your forehead. "I wanted you to wake up before I go." Doyoung gets out of bed and walks over to the bathroom and you notice his hair is already done and he's already wearing the tank top he wears to work. He must've gotten up before you to get ready.

"Aren't you going to be late for work?" you question stretching, noticing how sore the rest of your body is as well.

Doyoung comes back out of the bathroom wearing his black slacks for work. "I can afford a couple late days," He walks back over to you and places a soft kiss on your lips. "I fixed you some breakfast by the way." He's already brushed his teeth too.

He was probably being so nice to you because of the vulgar acts he performed on you the night before. You were hurt in places you could never imagine being hurt in, not that you were complaining. Doyoung had been wanting to try something different with you for awhile and you finally let him. It was something you never experienced before and you hoped you could do it again soon.

Doyoung begins putting on the rest of his dress clothes as you lay in bed. The silk of his white shirt glides around his muscles so nicely, you were kind of sad to see him cover them up. He faces you while he buttons his top.

"What's that look mean?" He asks while smiling at the expression you have on your face.

"It means you're sexy, now come back to bed." You lift up the covers to get him to come back and hope he misses the wince you make when your arm has to move the heavy weighted blanket.

He doesn't miss it though, and walks over to you, taking the blanket and wrapping it around you himself.

"As much as I wish I could stay, I have to go to work. Stay in bed and rest so you'll be ready for round two when I get back home." He winks and kisses your lips once again, a little longer and more wanting than last time, then picks up his suit jacket to head of off to work.

You were planning on taking the reigns tonight but you wouldn't mind taking Doyoung up on his offer to show you more tricks up his sleeve.

"I love you." You say quietly before he walks out of the door.

He turns and smiles. "I love you too."

A/N: Uhm Doyoung's arms in The Who is Sticker video?? 😳 Sheesh.

[hotsayce]

12:16 PM

After placing the letter and his house key on your counter, Jacob steps out of your house for the very last time.

Even though he hated to end things like this, he'd always been a runner and he doesn't know what else he can do. His things are still littered all around your home and they'll stay there until you throw everything out or donate them; he doesn't care. He just needs to get as far away from you as possible. The farther away he is, the lesser of chance he has of hurting you and if he only knows one thing, he knows he hates hurting you.

That’s why it was so hard to put into words how easy it was for him to hurt you time and time again.

But Jacob knows that won't happen anymore because, without even taking a final glance to the porch where you both shared your first kiss, he gets in his car and starts driving.

What a bad ending to your beautiful little story.

[creativepromptsforwriting]

September Prompts 🌻

Word prompts to use for doodling or writing

coffee smell

horizon

foggy mornings

juke box

lighthouse

bonfire

recipe book

windmill

gas station

wildflowers

bookmark

cave explorations

rosebushes

pine cones

nightlight

rocking chair

hitchhiking

lemon tree

vintage dress

bike ride

art museum

ghost town

blackberries

harvest moon

picture frames

dreamers

flower garland

ring bearer

color change

nightgown

[hotsayce]

Finally finished my two books for summer reading😤😤 one was Frankenstein and I think I’ll write a short lil fic based on it after I finish the essay

[hotsayce]

Cherry Popsicle

{ Sunwoo x Reader - <1k - Your boyfriend is eating his popsicle much too loudly so you try and get him to stop - Suggestive }

Sunwoo's pretty lips fit around the popsicle nicely, it takes everything inside you not to stare.

You two were just sitting around in some pool chairs, basking in the sun and each others company; you with your book and him with the ice pop he recently went to get.

This would've been a perfectly peaceful day if Sunwoo weren't making such lewd noises as he ate his snack.

Pop. As if on cue, he brings the popsicle out of his mouth.

"Do you have to keep making those sounds?" you huff.

Sunwoo shrugs. "What sounds?" He looks oblivious but he knows what he's doing, using every second to try to distract you from your book so he could have your full attention.

But your book is too good and you aren't going to give him the satisfaction. Going back to slurping too loudly on his ice pop, you try to continue reading.

Minutes pass and its beginning to be a bit unbearable; every time you look to a different page, Sunwoo is doing something to distract you.

You haven't been able to concentrate on a single word what with the vulgar image of Sunwoo's lips around anything else except that popsicle filling up your mind every 2 seconds.

How has that thing not melted yet?

Wanting to shut him up, you lay your book down and move to lean over Sunwoo, closing him in by placing your hand beside his head and your knees on either side of his hips on his chair.

He doesn't try to move away, just looks at you as if he's been waiting for you to do this all day.

"That looks good." You don't know if you're actually talking about the popsicle or the way his red tinted lips look around it.

He puts the popsicle in his mouth again, purposely reaching the base and then bringing it out with the same popping sound as before.

"It is." He plays with his long necklace hanging loosely around his neck, drawing your attention to his semi-exposed chest. He smirks as you take the bait.

Lifting the cherry popsicle in front of your face, he asks, "You want some?"

"Please." is all you say and he grabs your chin and places the popsicle on your tongue. When you close your lips around it, he smiles as if he's won.

Not wanting him to have the upper hand, you take the popsicle from him and suck on it by yourself, trying to look as seductive as possible.

It works too, the look on his face is pure surprise and you watch as his eyes follow every movement your mouth makes.

Satisfied, you press the popsicle back to Sunwoo's lips and he opens his mouth, sucking lightly until you take it back again. He stares up at you, waiting for you to make another move on him but instead, you get off the chair and bite off the tip before giving it back to him.

"You can have the rest, I just wanted a taste." you say, trying not to show how cold the popsicle is against your teeth.

Sunwoo doesn't notice and you let the cold cherry taste melt on your tongue as you pick up your book and saunter away from the pool, him following close behind.

{ A/N: I made another dirty fic, somebody stop me. This is the first thing I've written for the boyz AND my tenth fic on tumblr, let's celebrate. S/O to Sunwoo for letting us know twice that the Thrill-Ride lyrics are dirty. This one is for you king. Also don't lick other people's popsicles during a pandemic guys🤚🏾 }

[hotsayce]

Saving Water

{ Ten Lee x Reader - <1k - You and your cute roomie try to save water by showering together ;) - Suggestive }

"How about we just shower together?"

"Excuse me?"

You and your roommate Ten were trying to find more ways for your apartment to be more earth friendly after reading an article online.

"It's a great way to save water."

"I don't know Ten." You say while avoiding his eyes. "I'm sure there are other ways to save the earth."

"Oh come on." Ten grabs your phone from your hand so you have no place to look except for at him. "I heard that this is the perfect way to bond with your friends. You don't want to bond with me?"

It's not that you didn't want to bond with Ten, you love Ten, you've been friends for so long and always enjoy spending time with him. But showering with someone as attractive as him and seeing parts of him that you've never seen before were sure to not add up to anything good so you'd rather just admire how cute he is from afar and not while he's naked.

"Are we even close enough to shower together Ten?" The look on his face is a mixture of shock and deject.

"No no! I didn't mean it like that. Of course we're close." you reassure him. He doesn't listen and overdramatically gets up from the couch and begins sulking up to his bedroom.

He gets to at most the 8th step before you yell out. "Fine! I'll shower with you."

You didn't even have to look at the stairs, the sound of him running down them is enough to tell you how excited his is.

Ten pulls you away to the shower while you debate how much you truly love the earth.

~~~~~~~

"Come on in! The water's fine."

Ten had already begun scrubbing himself with soap and you couldn't help but stare at his body. His lower body to be specific.

Ten never minded showing off his body as much as you did. The most (or lack of) you'd ever worn around him was short pajama shorts meanwhile, he often walked around the house shirtless without a care. Keeping your eyes on his face then was hard enough, it could only be harder now.

Stepping into the shower, you try your best not to prolong looking at him so as to not make things awkward.

Grinning at you, Ten continues to wash and hands you the soap.

It doesn't take long to get used to having your hot, naked roommate behind you. Once you weren't facing him, it was kind of easy to forget he was there. Neither of you had anything to talk about either so it was just a 'normal' everyday shower.

"Can you help me wash my hair?" Ten says abruptly, waving his shampoo bottle in front of your face.

Wash day? It's like he's trying to get me to stay in here for longer than need be.

You turn around and take the bottle from him while he takes you in. It was the first time he really got to look at you since you immediately faced a different direction when stepping into the shower.

As Ten spends a bit too long looking down at your body, your face begins to heat up and it's not because of the hot water from the shower head.

"You look good." He says after finally lifting his eyes to look at you. As your ego swells from hearing Ten's compliment, you thank him and begin washing his hair.

While your hands run through this hair, you take the time to stare at the serenity of Ten's face, the length of his lashes on his closed eyes.

"Are you staring at me Y/N?" Ten peeks open one of his eyes trying to avoid getting shampoo in them.

You look away from his face, embarrassed you were caught. "How'd you know?"

"I just knew. And because your hands stopped moving." You notice that your hands on the top of his head were in fact frozen and then resume washing his hair, wishing you could wipe the smirk off Ten's face instead.

Two can play at this game.

Once you both finish washing, it's almost time to get out but you stop Ten before he can turn off the water.

"This wasn't as bad as I thought." You say while wringing out your washcloth.

"See? I told you." Ten does this same with his towel and you take them both, pushing past him to hang them on a shelf outside the shower. Your position brings you closer than you have been this whole time and he reaches out to grab your waist.

"Maybe we should try to save water again sometime." Taking Ten's hand on your waist as a signal, you rest both your arms on his shoulders, stepping forward.

Ten has always been sexy when dry but between the hot water still running down his back and the water drops left all over his body, this is a sight that you've never seen.

"I'd like that." He says, then leans in towards you with his eyes closed and head tilted.

You lean in as well but right before your lips touch, you dip down to shut off the water behind him.

He looks at you dumbfounded, his mouth slightly open.

"What? We're trying to save water remember." You say coyly, while stepping out of the tub and getting your dry off towel, leaving Ten alone to wonder about how soon you'll both be doing this again.

{ A/N: This may the most suggestive thing I've ever wrote, how do y'all do this all the time?? This was also inspired by a prompt I reblogged. Also uhhh Paint Me Naked is so good! It would be a shame if some good smut writers wrote a fic on it 😋}

[hotsayce]

Makeup

{ Moon Taeil x Reader - < 1k - You walk your tired boyfriend to your hotel room. He's a bit flirty ;) }

Taeil could barely stand as you led him to your shared hotel room.

He had been working hard all week between photo shoots, dance practice, and vocal recordings and he hadn't had the chance to rest at all.

"I can walk by myself Y/N."

His words contradict his actions as he slightly sways in front of the door.

"No Taeil, you can't." Wrapping your arm around him tighter, you swipe the key card and unlock the door.

The hotel room was cleaner than you left it thanks to housekeeping and you slowly walked Taeil towards the bed so he could finally sit down.

More like flop down. Dropping his bag on the floor, he flops on the bed face up.

"I assume today was hard as well?" You say as you sit down beside him.

He sighs. "Hard is an understatement. Our choreography was changed and vocal recording ran longer than expected because one of the mics wasn't working."

"And I bet you couldn't relax once?" Hearing the rasp in his voice, you move to the mini fridge to get him a bottle of water.

"Nope. There's always something that needs to be done." Taeil coughs but smiles once he sees the water you brought for him.

"Have you let anyone know about your voice?"

He sits up to take a sip of water. "There's nothing wrong with my voice. My throat's just a little sore from singing so much. You can't even tell when I take cough drops."

Due to all the singing Taeil has been doing, his voice had become hoarse but he's too afraid to to tell anyone because he fears that they'll have to postpone recording.

"You can't sing if you don't have a voice to begin with." You say getting some cough drops from his bag.

"I'll be fine baby." Unwrapping the cough drop that you gave him, he pops it into his mouth and lays back down, the scent of eucalyptus filling the room.

"Taeil, you have to take a shower first." You tug slightly on his hand.

"Not tonight." He grabs your hand instead and pulls you down so you can lay beside him.

You chuckle and sit up instead of laying down, still holding his hand. "You need to get clean. I'm sure you sweat a lot today."

"Not really, come cuddle with me." He snuggles up to you, moving his head to lay on your lap.

You stroke his hair, wishing to give him all the cuddles he could ever want but you knew that he preferred to get clean before getting into bed, even if he was too tired to move.

"At least let me remove your makeup."

~~~~~~~

Letting his hand fall beside himself, you pick up his makeup wipes. Holding his chin to make sure he doesn't nod off, you begin wiping away his makeup.

His eyes begin to droop as you carefully wipe away all the product on his face.

"Thank you for always taking so much care of me." His hands find their way to you thighs, resting there.

"Well someone has to." You say and he laughs, eyes still closed because he's so sleepy.

He looks so soft and calm like this, waiting for you to tend to his needs since he was too tired.

Once Taeil changes and gets into bed, you dim down all the lights and sit at the desk working on your own things. You can't help but notice the smile on Taeil's face as he drifts off to sleep.

Even if you couldn't help lessen his work load, you were happy to care for your boyfriend anytime he needed you.

{A/N: I love this (and him) so much oh my gosh. Saw a cute prompt that inspired this, it's reblogged on my page }

[many-gay-magpies]

the inherent tenderness of someone you love falling asleep beside you so you go to pry their phone or whatever they're holding out of their hands and plug it in for them, before turning off all the lights and going to sleep yourself

[koishua]

some more similar motifs :)

loosening their hair tie

taking off their glasses

unclasping their watches or jewelery

loosening their collar

pulling off their shoes

shrugging off their jacket

adjusting their pillow

pulling out their earphones

wiping off some of their make up

and much more <3

[creativepromptsforwriting]

August Prompts 🍋

Word prompts to use for doodling or writing

sunglasses

underwater

backpack

shade

pavilion

sentimental

tent

garden party

swimming pool

coconut

popsicle

island

spicy food

airplane

bubbles

watermelon

palm tree

seashells

ocean

parasol

snorkel

Wanderlust

vintage

bugs

string lights

homemade lemonade

surfboard

polaroid photos

childhood friends

summer reading

water park

[hotsayce]

Shade

{ NCT fanfic - <1k - Gender Neutral - Someone interrupts your summer reading :) }

A dark shade runs over your book and you look up to see what's blocking the sun that's already filtered through the leaves of the tall tree you're sitting under.

"Hello." Chenle stands above you smiling.

"Hello." You return the smile and pat the grass beside you, motioning for him to sit down.

"What are you reading?" He snuggles up beside you trying to get as comfy as the ground will let him.

"How to Read Literature like a Professor." You show him the cover of the book you'd been assigned for summer reading.

He grabs the book from you, making sure to keep his thumb marked at the spot where you left off. While eyeing the book with disgust, Chenle reads a couple lines before hastily giving it back to you while you chuckle.

"That seems very boring, and the words are too small."

"Yes it's boring and yes the words are small but I have no choice but to read it. Not to mention I have to finish another book after this and write an essay."

His eyes widen. "An essay too? Don't your teachers know it's summer?"

"Well," you place a sticky note on your page and close the book. "It wouldn't be so bad if I started reading earlier. We got the assignment at the beginning of summer but I just started reading last week."

Chenle picks up your book again looking to see how many pages you have left. "You need to be better at getting your work done." He scolds and you playfully hit his shoulder with your book.

"I was busy reading until someone came out here and began bothering me."

"Fine. Read to me then." He rests his head on your shoulder waiting for you to begin.

"Are you sure It won't be annoying for me to read all these long and boring pages to you?"

Chenle grins and shakes his head dismissively, telling you to continue reading.

Re-opening the book, you read for a bit and then turn the page, landing on the next chapter.

"It's All About Sex..." reads the title.

Chenle raises his head, now alert. "What kind of books do your teachers assign you?"

You laugh at his reaction. "The interesting kind."

Once he lays his head on your shoulder again, you resume reading while he follows along to see what will unfold in the next few pages.

{ A/N: I want to start putting my author's notes at the bottom?? I hope you enjoyed this self callout to myself to finish my summer assignments. Prompt from @//creativepromptsforwriting }

[hotsayce]

The Lake

NCT fanfic - 3.4k - Gender Neutral- A group of friends go to their nearby lake to hang out:)

Warnings: Drowning is mentioned but don't worry! No one actually drowns, the narrator just can't swim and is scared. Sex is also mentioned. Alcohol.

Author's Note: This is written in first person but the narrator is referred to as Y/N. Johnny and Ten aren't THAT important in the story, it's mostly the narrator and Mark.

~~~

It was almost time.

My friends and I were getting ready to go to the lake for a celebration.

Though the only thing worth celebrating was that Mark was finally graduating high school. He was the baby of our group. Ten and I were both 20, Johnny was 22 and Mark was just 18. We all started being friends in high school, I met Ten in dance class and Johnny in chorus my freshman year. We adopted Mark during my junior year though. We noticed some random kid sitting alone at lunch most every day. Nothing wrong with that, I myself sat alone sometimes during my freshman year. But this was different. Another group of kids began to sit with him, we thought he finally found his crowd. Until one week, Mark's little table was empty. We just assumed he was sick or something, until it lasted the whole week. We didn't have any classes with him and we had never spoken to him so there was no way to know what happened. The next Monday, Johnny just so happened to stop by the bathroom during lunch and saw poor Mark sitting on the (disgusting) bathroom floor, crying and eating alone. Then he brought him to sit with us. The rest is history.

Not really, I've never had a history class with any of them.

But that brings us to tonight, I am just about to open the door to leave my dorm room when my roommate asks, "Where are you going?"

Dangn't. I had been trying my best not to wake them up but I failed. Like always.

"Just out with some friends." I answer in the most calm way possible.

Adrian isn’t a snitch or anything, I just don’t want them knowing my business. We were never really that close.

"Okay," They roll back over in their bunkbed, facing the wall.

I almost slip out of the door when they ask, "What time will you be back?"

"Before 5."

They roll over again. "Okay, just be more quiet when you sneak back in please."

They must be referring to the time I came in at 6 A.M. and my morning alarm started blaring. I kept trying to push the off button but my screen was too cracked for me to press it. They'll never let me live that down.

I slip out of the door and am on my way to the bathroom. I don’t need to think of a plan to get out or anything, my Resident Advisor doesn’t care if we leave during the night. Ten wouldn't have such an easy time though, I hear the advisor at his dorm is more strict.

I finally step outside of my building only to notice that Ten beat me here.

"How'd you get past your RA?"

He laughs. "It's easy to reason with someone you've slept with."

"Gross." I shove him to the side. Not gross, quite cool actually. I was very jealous. Ten's RA was drop dead gorgeous and the amount of times I asked him if I could sleep over to see if they'd stop by his room is far too many to count.

We were on our way to Johnny's place to go chill at the lake behind his house. He went to the same college as Ten and I but he lived at home with his parents. I would too if they were as loaded as his family, not to mention they live pretty close to school. A walk was only 35 minutes away which never seemed like much if you walked with other people.

Walking to Johnny's was normally silent when I went by myself but that was never the case with Ten. He always had some cool college story to tell, we were both juniors but his experience seemed much more interesting that mine. Whether he was spilling gossip about the dance team or who he'd been flirting with during his most recent seminar, it was always something eventful.

"What college do you think Mark will choose?" Ten asks.

Woah. That's a much different direction from where he normally goes.

"Why such a somber question to start the night? (morning actually) I wanna know if anything new has happened between Veronica and Tamika?" I try changing the subject. Veronica and Tamika were two girls in his dance class who had supposedly been best friends since their freshman year. Everyone knew they liked each other but neither of them had ever asked the other out.

"Seriously Y/N. What if he doesn't come to our school?"

"Well," I normally try not to think about what would happen if Mark left the country for college. "Then we'll video chat with him every week and text him all the time and he'll come home each summer."

Ten doesn’t look at me but I know that this is eating him up.

It'd been eating all of us up. Johnny, Ten, and I had all gone to GC State for our own separate reasons and we were hoping Mark would too but he had his eyes set on an arts school in Vancouver. He was born in Canada so it would mean so much to him to move back there for college but he didn't want to leave his friends (us).

"I just don't want us to split up. We were gonna be his older college buddies." It was dark out but I could still see the frown on Ten's face.

I put my arm around his shoulder. "He still has about a month left, we don't know what he's going to pick. And whichever school he does choose, we'll support him."

Ten sighs. "I guess your right. We don't where he'll go yet but we have to be happy for him."

I nod my head and continue walking beside him.

"Oh and Ica-Ika is never gonna work out." 'Ica-Ika' was a cute ship name Ten and I made for Veronica and Tamika. "Imagine being a senior in college and still being too nervous to confess to your crush."

I raise my eyebrow at him. "You're one to talk."

"Look. I've got one more year. Quit rushing me."

I laugh at Ten. He's had a crush on Johnny since high school but has never told him. At this rate he never will.

~~~

We finally arrive at Johnny's house. He has that type of house that you have to drive down to since it's off by itself. The three story ones with the huge yards. The house where everybody wants to be and where all the parties were. Not to mention the lake in the back. I was surprised when I found out that Johnny was an only child. Why would their family need such a big house if there were just 3 of them? But it's not my place to judge what other people do with their hard earned money.

Johnny's car is the only one in the driveway so his parents aren't home. Ten and I don't bother walking through the front door, we walk straight to the back and find Mark sitting in a lawn chair and Johnny standing right beside him.

Johnny had always taken a liking to Mark ever since he found him in the bathroom. Not in the cliché high school relationship type of way though, Johnny was not a creepy senior guy on the varsity football team and Mark was not an innocent freshman girl who had 'developed' over the summer. They were 4 years apart but the way they act, you'd think they were the exact same age. Except they don't look the same age. Johnny was tall (a giant really) with long brown hair. Between his extroverted personality and his beefy arms, he had all the girls, guys, and honestly anyone with eyes after him. Mark was... not like Johnny. He was much smaller with short black hair and I'm sure people would be after him if he wasn't so darn oblivious to everyone who wants him. It's like he was waiting for someone special to come along and ask him out but who knows when that will happen?

"You're finally here!" Johnny turned at the sound of our footsteps and came up to hug us. He always gave great hugs.

"Now the party can start!" I say while Ten and Johnny hug for a second too long.

Mark gets up to hug us as well and we make our way to the lake, although he lingers to walk beside me instead of with Johnny and Ten.

~~~

"Have you decided which college you're going to yet?" I glare at Ten from my chair and Johnny does the same.

"You haven't even gotten him to drink yet and you're already asking him important questions? What am I teaching you Ten?" Johnny takes another swig of his own glass of wine. He's the only person who would bring fancy glasses and expensive wine to hang out at the lake with his friends at 3 A.M.

"I can't drink yet Johnny." Mark says.

Johnny winks at him. "Riiight."

I laugh as I drink from my own glass. "There's no rush in your decision Mark. We'll be happy with whatever you choose."

Everyone was silent as we all thought about what Mark's decision would be. Our guess was as good as his.

"C'mon guys no being sad at our celebration." Johnny jumps up from his seat. "To the lake!"

He begins walking to the lake, Ten close on his heels cheering. I get up from my seat to follow them but notice Mark still sulking in his chair. He must still be thinking about college. No doubt he has exams soon, he has this big decision to add on top of it all.

I walk over to Mark and grab his hand, motioning for him to walk with us.

When we get to the lake, the rest of the guys rid themselves of their shirts while Mark keeps his on. I opt to keep my shirt on as well, I don't plan on swimming today.

"You're not gonna swim?" Mark takes his shoes off, preparing to get in the water.

"No, not today." I sit down on the dock and stick my feet in the cool water.

Instead of getting in the water like Ten and Johnny, Mark sits down beside me. "I won't swim either then."

There's no use in telling him to go ahead and swim. He hates for any one of us to be left out so he'll stay with me no matter how much I protest.

The sadness in Mark's eyes from earlier disappears once he looks at the lake. His expression when he looks at the water makes it seem like he's never seen a lake like this before. He's always loved coming here. Johnny would sometimes pick him up after school when he had the time so they could just sit here at the lake and talk about anything. It was like his safe place. He wouldn't have the lake in Vancouver.

"Were you being serious earlier?" The reflection of the moon is still in his eyes but the sadness is back.

"Serious about what?" I say as I flick my feet in the water.

"When you guys said you'd support me. No matter what college I go to. You won't leave like-"

"No Mark," I stop him before he can even finish. "We won't leave you. It doesn't matter how far we are, we'll always be friends okay?"

He doesn't say anything but I know he understands. Ever since those kids ditched him in high school, he's had trust issues about people leaving him. There were so many people that tried to be friends with him but he always pushed them away because he thought they'd do the same. Sure he talks to some people at school, but his only real friends are all in college. I can't imagine how lonely that must feel.

I try to lighten the mood. "Hey Buddy," I say jokingly.

"Oh no, not buddy."

I place my arms around Mark's shoulders. "You know you're getting older and your life is changing..."

He then rips my arm from his shoulder laughing, "What is this?"

I grab his arm once again. "I'm just trying to tell you about college because you're a growing boy."

"Are you trying to give me the talk? Because I've had it before."

I turn and face him. "You've had sex before?!"

"What no! I meant the talk!"

I sigh out of relief. "Phew. Good. I couldn't believe you had never told me."

We both laugh until it gets quiet.

"You never told me whether you've had sex before."

He was not wrong. Johnny and Ten talked about their 'partners' all the time but I've never mentioned it because I've never been with anyone like that. I've always been waiting for the right time but it was really just me being cautious and refusing to have my first time in a cramped college dorm. No one (near my age) had caught my interest and, unfortunately, Johnny never volunteered so I've just been saving myself up I guess.

"That is correct." I don't know what Mark is getting at but I just keep letting him talk.

"Well do you thin-"

Before he can finish his sentence, I feel a splash of water hit me. Ten and Johnny float in the water in front of us with two big grins on their faces.

"Hey spoilsports, come swim with us." Johnny hits us with another splash and Mark jumps in to go play with them. Thank God. I was not about to let Mark down and tell him that I won't have sex with him during his last year of high school. There is nothing wrong with Mark except for how he is basically still a child and as (or even more) inexperienced as I am.

The guys stay near my area so I can still splash them from sitting down. Except it's mostly them cheating because whenever I throw water at them, they just duck under the surface whereas I have to stay up here and get wet.

By the time we're done, I'm soaking wet and Ten and Johnny have swam out again. Mark almost joins them but swims back to me.

"How come you aren't swimming with us?"

The word 'swim' is incorrect in this situation. He knows I can't swim. Normally, when we go to the lake, I lazy around in a floatie but I just don't feel like it right now.

"Mark, you know I can't swim."

"Well yeah," He flips his hair back and unintentionally sprays me with more water. "But we all can."

I'm sorry. I think he's failed to understand the concept of 'me not being able to swim = me drowning.'

Before I can inform him of that, Johnny and Ten come swimming towards us with a weird look in their eyes. When they get up on the dock, they shake their hair out as well, getting me wet again and then Johnny grabs Ten's hand and begins leading him back to the house.

"Where are you two going?" I question and they just giggle.

"Johnny wants to show me his room." Ten smiles up at the older and they're still walking away from us.

Mark calls out after them, "But we've all already seen his room!" They keep laughing, hand in hand, walking back to the house to do who knows what except we all know exactly what they're doing and I curse them in my head for setting up such a venereal tone in the air.

"What are they doing?" Mark looks up at me with the most oblivious look in his eyes.

"Sex."

"Gross."

Again, not gross. Very jealous.

I wish the moonlight and calm lake were not making the environment so romantic right now. Not to mention the text from Ten that says, 'Don't bother us. Go bang Mark :)'

Although that sounds very tempting, I will not be a senior in high school's, first time. Or let him be my first time.

"I can hold you if you're still afraid of swimming." Mark's quiet voice interrupts my thoughts.

"What?"

"We were talking about swimming earlier. If you're okay with it, I can just hold you in the water. I won't let go."

I get another text from Ten. 'Don't see any banging yet :(' I look up to the window of Johnny's bedroom and see a silhouette of them standing there. Mark waves at them and I can't see that far but I can tell that they're smiling before they close the curtain.

I put my phone away and respond to Mark. "It's really okay. You don't have to do that."

He moves from leaning on the dock beside me to being right in front of me, laying his hands on my knees.

"I pinky promise you'll be safe. Please swim with me."

Once again, the reflection of the moon does me dirty, illuminating the sincerity in Mark's eyes. I can't say no. (I absolutely could but I won't)

I take a deep breath. "Okay." I don't bother removing my shirt since he didn't either. Mark places his hands lightly around my waist and begins pulling me down into the water.

"Don't drop me." I say. I've done this before but with Johnny and he's much bigger and stronger than Mark so I can't say that I'm not a little worried he won't be able to carry me.

Mark just smiles and pulls me down until I'm no longer on the dock.

My first instinct is to immediately flail because I believe I will sink all the way to the bottom of the lake but Mark's grip on me tightens, obviously noticing how my body tensed up when I got into the water.

"I got you." He doesn't let me go as promised and we stay close to the dock, my back against the wood.

"See. All safe."

Being in the water isn't as scary as I thought it would be. I'm glad Mark is here with me. And I'm glad that we didn't leave the dock, giving me the option to change my mind and climb back up if I want to.

"What are you thinking?" He asks.

I haven't spoken since I got in the water. Maybe it's the calmness of the lake itself or the fact that Mark is holding me, but I can't think of anything to say.

"Nothing really." I feel the urge to wrap my legs around Mark's waist but I fight against it.

"Well I'm thinking of us."

I smile, staring at the moon. "Yeah. I really enjoy hanging out at the lake with you guys every once in a while.

"No Y/N." I look over at him. "I mean us. This."

I shake my head. There's always been something between us but it was so minute that we never spoke of it. "There is no this Mark. You know that. We both know that."

"Do we really?"

The water around us seems so still. The only movement is from our too close together chests, rising and falling at the same time. My eyes drift to his lips and I can't help but wonder how they would feel against my own.

Mark notices me staring, closes his eyes, and leans in but right when our lips almost touch, I turn my head to the side. His lips graze my cheek which is better than nothing I suppose. As much as my heart wants to, I cannot kiss him and add on to the already long list of reasons he would rather stay here than go to Vancouver. A kiss would only hold him back even more and I know how much he wants to leave.

"I'm sorry Mark." I lean my head into the nook of his neck hoping he won't push me away after what I just did. I don't want this to be awkward but I tighten my grip on his shoulders, not wanting to rid myself of his touch just yet.

"I understand." I want him to pull my face back up and tell me all the thoughts he's had about us. I want him to try to kiss me again, and this time I may kiss him right back. But he doesn't. Instead, his hold on my waist never loosens or falters even though I know his arms and whole body must be tired from swimming for so long.

I hope what we have won't falter either.

~~~

Sometimes when Mark calls me and I hear everything he's been doing and everyone he's been talking to, I wish I would've kissed him back at the lake. The people in Vancouver sound really pretty. And he always sounds really happy. What would've changed if I did kiss him? Maybe he would have went to college here and then we could be a cute couple like Ten and Johnny. But there's no telling what would happen. I just know that I'll always have a best friend halfway across the world.

But hey, there's always summer break.