The House of Asterion

An Ask/RP blog for an adult Chara of questionable mortal status. Will, at times, be nsfw.

[houseofasterion-blog1]

Who wants to fucking, ah, hold me?

[thecraftylittlewitch]

[caecilius-est-pater]

I’m actually glad we don’t live in an RPG world. We really take for granted being able to coexist with most animals. I don’t wanna have to pull out a longsword and beat the shit out of six crabs and two snails while a starfish snipes me with magic bullets every time I go to the beach.

[chicpsychic]

@gigaon

[subconciousdreamers]

[powerviolent-deactivated2019050]

how not to:

[humunanunga]

When a customer says some Weird Shit in the middle of check-out,

[crunchthedeerstroyer-deactivate]

Okay, so very recently, I was cashiering for Publix, and it was late at night, and I actually didn’t wanna be there, go figure. So this woman walks up, buying about 15-20 items, which is a pretty clean run for me, so I’m scanning her groceries, and we carry a small conversation.

During this conversation, she asks me if I’m in school, and I say yes. I tell her about how exams went, as they were near that period, and told her I had a Biology exam that was over genetics. And she looks me straight in the eyes, with seriousness of a heart attack being read in every wrinkle of her white soccer mom face, and says: “Oh, I’m a Christian, I don’t believe in genetics.”

Flabbergasted. My eyes do that spinny rainbow thing that Apple computers do when theyre buffering. A second goes by. I’ve gone through all stages of grief at this point, but haven’t reached acceptance. I have to say something, I have to say SOMETHING. If I just stare at her through this, she’ll know I think she’s fucking dumb and she might get angry, and I don’t need that. Two seconds have gone by. I have stopped scanning groceries at this point, and am just being violently shot back and forth between two sections of the galaxy. I can feel my body taking leave of my soul. Three seconds. I have to say something. 

“Anyway, I did well on my accounting exam, so that’s something. Do you have any coupons?”

[jijarugen]

[bisexualpiratequeen]

I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles. 1- I am glorious above all things 2- Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored 3- Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine 4- Show displeasure clearly. 5- NO 6- Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time. 7- If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.

[crystalwitch-in-the-tardis]

I like this. Sounds like good self care advice.

[afterbxrnt-blog]

It’s me, Bastard Idiot: Magic Edition

[houseofasterion-blog1]

Emotional Starters: Anger

"Just get the hell away from me!"

"I told you not to do that! Why did you do that?!"

"I am this close to blowing a fuse."

"You wanna fight? We can fight."

"This is unacceptable. I won't tolerate it."

"No, I'm not 'mad' - I'm fucking furious!"

"How dare you! Who do you think you are?"

"Enough. One more word and you will regret it."

"I need space. Just-- Just give me some space."

"I can't take it anymore!"

"Ooh, you are SO dead..."

"Can't you do anything right?!"

"When I find ___, he/she will be sorry..."

"SHUT UP!! Just shut up already!"

"I'm so sick and tired of listening to you."

[rppanda]

Send 📱 + an emoji to look through my muses phone and find something...

❤️ - Loving

🔞 - Personal

💣 - Threatening

🚨 - Alarming

🌺 - Cute

🦂 - Scary

👙 - Steamy

[houseofasterion-blog1]

“Ya’ll ever think about how monsters were willing to kill human children for the crime of existing and even looked forward to using those children’s souls to destroy humanity? I do.” =)

[timberlakelove-blog-blog]

[maydaytrippe]

last day to reblog

[kim-kardassian-blog]

you now you want to.

Gonna have to wait a whole year if you miss this.

[paulwalkersdogwalker]

Fine

[derpycats]

[earthboundtext]

[obimomkenobi-deactivated2020062]

The FCC's Bullshit Order Killing Net Neutrality Hasn't Actually Gone Into Effect—Yet

The Federal Communications Commission’s revocation of Barack Obama-era net neutrality rules (misleadingly billed as Restoring Internet Freedom Order) starts going into effect today. But net neutrality isn’t dead—yet.

KEEP MAKING A FUSS YALL

[justgreentextthings]

[terato-fuckor]

The Venom Movie Trailer: *drops* 

 Me and every other monster fucker: