Noah Kahan
macklin celebrini has autism
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
h
RMH
Fieri Frames
The Bowery Presents
#extradirty
art blog(derogatory)
Cosmic Funnies
untitled
Origami Around
if i look back, i am lost
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
tumblr dot com
Keni
tannertan36
shark vs the universe
Discoholic 🪩
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
seen from Türkiye
seen from Canada
seen from France
seen from Italy
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Dominican Republic
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Argentina
@howdoiworkthis-blog
Cussing Makes It Hurt Less
My husband carries our 7 yo boy to bed every night, has since he was a baby. Husband accidentally hits the boys head on the headboard and B starts whining a bit. H: Quick! Say "dammit" ! B: *giggles* Oh dammit, I can't say shit!
Baby C makes her Internet debut
Playing outside with my small family; my husband, my 7yo boy, and my 20 mo girl. H: *wipes out on ripstik* ouch Baby C: Oh shit, you’re ok.
I’ve either failed or won at being a stay at home mom.
Mr. Stylist
Giving my 7 yo boy a good night hug. B: *squeezes tight and pets my face* don't forget to get a haircut soon. (My hair is butt length) Me: are you serious? B: Yeah, your hair is becoming a problem.
Sweet Goodbye
Dropping my 7yo boy off at school. Me: Bye, B, I love you and believe in you. Go be a Rockstar! B: *petting my face then kisses the tip of my nose* I love you too, mom. Go be an asshole
Barricade
My 7 yo boy has been struggling with school lately. He's an alpha so when his gentle teacher lost control of the classroom, he seized his opportunity and ran with it. I got a stern talking to from his teacher. Apparently he has barricaded himself in the school bathroom. Not just locked himself in but actually carried chairs in there to barricade the door shut. Custodians had to get involved and he was in big trouble. Naturally I took him home and lectured him. Me: B, why did you do that? B: I don't know, mom... I just got sick of her shit She resigned 3 days later and I have a bad feeling that he may have helped. Also, he's definitely my kid.
Violin Lessons
My 7 yo boy started violin lessons at school and I was curious about it. Me: hey, B, do you get to bring your violin home to practice?? B: *gasp* Mom! No, that would be STEALING! IF WE STOLE IT THEN WE'D HAVE TO HIDE IT UNTIL WE COULD SELL IT ON THE BLACK MARKET!!
The Art of Underwear
My husband was getting our 7 yo boy ready for bed. Husband: don't forget to wear boxers under your jammies. B: huh, you're a peculiar man
Phrasing
Watching my 7 yo boy play Paper Mario. B: I'm a muff slayer because I've slain a lot of muff. ....apparently a muff is a monster on Paper Mario... God I hope he doesn't say that in school tomorrow
Wyoming Weather
I walk my 7 yo boy and my 7 yo nephew to school every morning. Rain or shine. Or snow. Last Tuesday it was -23°F so I drove them. It was only -12°F Wednesday though and I made them walk. B: We should've drove. My boogers are frozen. Me: It's not so bad, let's just keep moving. *little while later* B: Maaaaaannnnn. I bet my nipples are red.
Bedtime Routine
Arguing with my 6 yo boy about bedtime. Me: B, go put your jammies on and then go brush your teeth. B: *wrapped in a blanket, wearing nothing but said blanket and a sword* you can't tell me what to do, I'm the BED KING. Me: B! GO PUT YOUR JAMMIES ON AND THEN BRUSH YOUR TEETH B: *grumbles and heads to bedroom, comes out wearing jammie pants on his head* DONE. You didn't specify where to put the jammie pants. Me: .... B: Fine.
This is Halloween
Trick or treating with my 6 yo boy (he was Herobrine) when we get to a house with the light on. He goes up to the door and rings the doorbell. Nothing. B: *frantically rings doorbell 50 more times* MOM, I FOUND THE TRICK. THEY LEAVE THE LIGHT ON AND THEN DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR! THAT'S A JERK MOVE ME: B, please stop yelling. The neighbors and the rest of town are watching you right now.
Infiniti And Beyond
Driving with my then 4 yo boy in my Infiniti G20. B: Mom, you should put a turbo on this. Make it fast. Me: um.. that may not be the best idea .. B: oh... probably because the engine would blow because it's a small hunk of junk? Me: yes. B: you should put a turbo on you street rod! No... a supercharger. Muscle cars need superchargers. Smart boy
Gun Control
Sitting down, eating dinner with my small family. Baby C is using her spoon as a catapult for peaches and B is cheerily chattering in that charmingly random way he has. B: I'm a little afraid to try kiwis. ( we don't have any, not sure why that's a concern) Husband: Is it because they're fuzzy? B:... guns aren't dangerous. People are.
Clean Eating
My 6 yo boy came up to me while I was sneakily eating a kit kat (obviously failing) B: *pats my muffin top* Ya know, mom.. if you traded that candy for raw carrots you could lose weight. Give me those candy bars, I will help you. Me: B, I didn't ask for help losing weight. B: *pets my cheek* if you'd stay away from those cupcakes... Me: B, that's rude! B: Mom, I love you even though you're a little fluffy. Can I have some candy so that you don't eat any more? DISCLAIMER: I am not a particularly large woman so I wasn't completely offended. He's generally not rude, just a junk food junkie and con artist.
Woman Woes
My 6 yo boy came running up to me holding a tampon still in the wrapper. He opens it and shoves it in my face. B: WHAT IS THIS?? And DON'T say dynamite! (That's what I've always told him, it has a fuse doesn't it?) Me: Well, B, that's a tampon. You know where babies come from and every month a woman... (explain in detail what periods are and why)... so, B, someday you'll have a wife and every month you'll have to go to the store to get her tampons and cupcakes. B: *confused silence* ... why cupcakes? Me: Because cupcakes will make her feel better. B: Oh, I get that. Cupcakes help me too. That's it. That's all he had to say about periods.
How To Egg a Car
Walking my 6 yo boy to school this morning. The 5th grade neighbor kid joined us as usual. Neighbor boy: We got to egg a teacher's car last year! Me: Did you get in trouble?? NB: No, the principal helped us. The teacher retired and that was how we let her know we'd miss her. B: *looks skeptically at NB* ... were there chickens involved?
Beauty Regimen
My 6 yo boy walked in on me wrapping my belly with vitamin oil and cling wrap, much like the ItWorks thing but cheap. (Don't judge, I've had two kids) B *looks at my plastic covered belly and claps his hands* Oh great, mosquito netting! My only hope is that he's as accepting of his wife's weird ideas as he is of mine.